being powerful with what you want is not that often programed into our rhelms of what is possible.
I think in a culture that calls women who like sex sluts and men who only sleep with one woman thier whole life wimps, there is little room for getting what you actually want.
also discression also seems to be lost. We want to know everything about what other people are doing. And then we all want to judge them for what ever they choose to do.
So if you are a woman and are telling everyone you have several fuck buddies, it would rare that you would come out un judged.
I say be honest up front, the right kind of woman will surface. One who is less interested in formality and more into what ever she needs or wants.
Ok. I have a friend that i've known for about 6 years now and we were sex partners too but never a BF/GF thing - we just were friends and enjoyed each others company and had great sex but both he and i were never monogamous kind of people and besides during part of that time i was an escort anyway. Well as his friend ive watched him go through a million girls and each time he would get frustrated that the girls or women would always seem to get attached and want to be exclusive, or get more serious, etc and he would be back to square one with why can't he find someone who just wants like what we had, a sex friend? I've been telling him that there are tons of women like that i know because all my lady friends are like that - don't want any committment, just want sex and no strings but he can't seem to have any luck. I told him to just come right out with it in the beginning and we even joked about making some sort of a Resume ! that says what his objects and goals etc are - LOL! Sure enough, he met this lady two weeks ago and they've gone out, had drinks, etc. and many talks and (they have not had sex yet) and she's already talking about being exclusive and more of a serious committed relationship. (he's also very egotistical too and told me that "imagine that I haven't even had sex with yet! Because if I had, she'd fall in love with me, they all do") Yes, he's good looking, and yes he's great in bed with a great cock, but all that is beside the point of my post. I am just asking what your opinion is - do you agree with me that there are tons of ladies (and men too) that just want that kind of relationship?? i think i'm right and he's just doing something wrong.
Sign me up! Where do I apply. Mature male in his early 50's who knows the proper way to treat a lady. PM me.
really good looking he usually has a sorry looking cock and vice versa.
and I hope not because his ego is too big, but he has looks, body, brains, money, talent, time, great cock and bsically everything anyone would want (superficially anyway) and can't seem to find women who just want casual friendship and sex without the commitment. Of course yesterday he asked if he was just so rare a find that they just want to latch onto him; is the selection just that bad or what? i didn't feed his ego. i told him i could come up with a few myself that would and he has challenged me to it. So, ladies, do yuo agree with me that there are lots of women who like that, and no, not just escorts?
I doubt he's all that rare and most women want something bewteen the ears over time. I have been in situations with escorts that were really good after we got to know each other, save for the demands of their jobs, I learned to appreciate them and while I continued to contribute to their education funds, we continued to have awesome sex.
There are probably more men than ladies who want that kind of relationship, or think they do. I've had some experience with that kind of situation. Ewventually one or the other person involved wants more of a commitment, or develops a serious interest in another person. While it lasts, though, it's usually great. Right now i would love to find a woman who would enjoy a no committment just enjoyment kind of relationahip, but they're hard to find. Or, anyway, hard for me to find. If you know of anyone ....
to have a relationship with me, no matter how much I pay them. All they ever want to do is f**k my brains out and leave. 
-- Modified on 7/6/2005 3:21:00 AM
It would certainly be wonderful if all these women who just want to fuck would make it better known what was on their mind's. They would sure be a lot more fulfilled if they did. Just thinking about the money I could save is aggravating. Then again, there probably aren't many of us who are the superman you say this guy is. Does he know that you are a provider? I think I've met a lot of the women you speak about. The only problem is they charge money to do so, lol.
Infact, I'm seeing three ladies in their late 30's right now. Sessions are not time limited with occasional overnight visits. You really have to search online to find ladies interested in this type of relationship. It's alot cheaper than seeing escorts and the women really get into the action.
So you still pay them to sleep with you, only that they don't watch the clock and occasionally let you crash at their place.
"It's alot cheaper than seeing escorts..." As long as you pay them to sleep with you, they are still escorts in my book. You're just getting more value, or "more bangs", for your buck.
I had that kind of experience once before (she's in her mid 30s and very attractive too) but you're talking about ladies who have real jobs during the day and do this part time, and for fun, I might add, and only want to see guys that they're attracted to. If you can find them, they're real gems and really get into the action.
But there are so very few of them in this biz; majority sees you as walking ATMs (though the really good ones might not make you feel that way). I don't think there are many of them out there; if so, then what are we doing here?
Got any link's or tip's on where to look? I checked out one such site, adultfriendfinder.com, never really give much effort into trying it, it might be real. It just kind of ticked me off the way they say join for free, after you go through the brief free signup you still can't access any of the women with picture's posted. You have to upgrade to a paying membership to see their profile's or actually get a decent view of them. Doesn't quite seem on the up and up, if anyone know's anything positive about it let me know. If it's for real it could be a lot of fun.
-- Modified on 7/6/2005 1:47:13 PM
AFF is a rip-off. You eventually contact a few people, maybe you e-mail a few times, then they just **poof!** disappear. And anyway all those ladies looking for wild sex basically really want a husband.
but for some reason I have failed many times. I go through phases where my focus more on other things and during those times all I want is the "wham bam, thank you man." But for the most part if I enjoy being with someone and I think or he tells me he just wants to be fuck buddies I would say F*** No. BUT under some circumstances (REALLY horny, no other options, had a lot to drink and he was REALLY good in bed) then exceptions are made. I would hate myself in the morning, but Im going to F*** him tonight.. But thats just me...
AZ Presley
but I sure would enjoy 2 or 3. I have posted personal adds stating that I wasn't looking for commited or exclusive relationship but every ladie I started to date ended up wanting to get exclusive or wanted more time than I wanted to give. I'd love to meet a few good women like you speak of.Then again I'm not 27 anymore. Depends on weather they value sensual knowledge and experience or just want someone who stays hard ALL Night. " If I only knew what I know now when I was younger"
-- Modified on 7/5/2005 7:20:28 PM
Yes, in my experience, there are a bunch of ladies that don't want anything more than a "fuck buddy". The only problem I have had is with timing. I tend to have times where I have a few at once and other times where they just aren't there.
I have also been social with ladies that you would have never thought they would want anything more than a good fuck that surprised me with wanting more than I am ready to give to them.
You can't really tell where any relationship between a man and a woman will go. All you can hope for is that you both are on the same page at the same time.
You hit the nail on the head Mike, with your final paragraph!
but as always, sex seems to have a negative impact even with good, long time friends - hence the need for this hobby (ok... the wanton lust and pleasure have a lot to do with it also)
Sgandolfs
I looked for a friend-sex partner for 4 years. No strings, etc. But I did want to see him outside the bedroom occasionally. So, I'd hear that same old line, oh, sure Anneke that is exactly what I want. Bull...one date and they were gone. All they wanted was the one night stand. So, I decided it was much more equitable to be gifted for the same thing. Even if the sex is free with friends each partner ought to respect each other enough to be appreciative in small ways. A movie, maybe a take out dinner or a home cooked meal. Real friends wouldn't even need to be reminded of something like that. Otherwise, you're a sex partner only. Any takes on that one gents?
Women either want to be pursued or compensated when when they open their bodies to men.
Sharing a dinner or a movie with a friend is compensation? Geesh!
Music Dance food and SEX. Well I cant sing worth a damn and dont play any instruments..... Would you be into some Kitchen Foreplay?
-- Modified on 7/6/2005 9:30:08 AM
I'd say you had some bad luck Anneke. I agree, courtesy and consideration go a long way. And anyway, what was wrong with those guys? Presumably they had great sex. If I have an evening or a night of great sex and a few laughs I'd be right back on your doorstep knocking. Hmmm, young people nowadays just don't appreciate class when they see it ...
I love cooking for folks. And movies. And...
I guess I'd give the nudist colony a try!
I wasn't in a space a decade ago to be able to do the "fun buddy" thing. I am now. I'd love it. I'd be giddy for the friend and relish the sex.
Show me your cock.
You are like the third person this week to say that to me on the boards.......somethings in the water!!
would luv to make those gestures....how neat! I just need to find someone willing to have the same kind of fun.
P.S. I live in Indy 
Anneke,
Jeez some guys are absolutely dingbats. A 'friend with benefits' means friendship first and the benefits are a nice extra. I love to hang out with friends, go to a movie, etc.
fuck-buddies, worked together, went places together..were good friends AND sex partners but we also saw other people and pursued different things with others because we were just very close friends.
Your friend should definitely do the resume. Something like:
Objective: To find perfect Fuck Buddy
Me: The "Total Package" (Body, brains, great cock, talent, money)
You: Hot chick who wants no committment, no serious relationship just hot sex.
I would imagine that would have them lined up around the block.
OR...
Have you considered the posibility that all he really wants is to start the "Casual, FREE, sex thing" back up with you again. Sounds like he's been dropping some hints.
old arrangement, but ya know, sometimes you just can't go 'back home'
I've always made it a point from the moment I meet a girl to make it clear that I was looking for a friend with benefits. It's well-known enough locally, that probably my reputation proceeds me. So, it hasn't been hard for me to meet women who felt the way I do for whatever reason. DC has a large transient population. It's easy to meet people who are staying around briefly for grad school or planning on moving to another area for their career or traveling abroad for a while. So, it's an ideal locale for no-strings-attached relationships.
What I do is treat the girl as friend but not a close friend. She would go out with me *with* other friends for the most part, especially at first. This gives her a chance if she wants to pursue someone serious, to go for someone with similar priorities. If she's still interested and is an easy-going girl, she'll enjoy hanging out this way. Sometimes I'll meet up with her alone, but the objective is pretty clear on how the night will end. I like girls who don't take themselves too seriously and confident in what they want. After a while, you can easily pick out the girls who'll cling and those who won't. It comes from experience. You'll make mistakes but your success rate will improve substantially over time.
Regarding your friend...it's impossible for me to say what his problem is for sure. Since you say he's very self-centered, my guess is he has a high standard of women in the looks department. And the hot girls who would be into casual relationships have their pick of men...they don't need to settle for just good looks, they can get a great sense of humor, money and anything else they please (perhaps your friend lacks in one of those qualities). I do know my friends tend to steer away from arrogant guys, because they think that egotistical men are lousy in bed. The belief I've heard is they think these guys are the ones who'll look out for themselves in bed and not go out of their way to please a woman. I'm not saying that's true for your friend, but certainly that perception is out there.
Finally, if he's one of those guys (and self-centered people usually are) who requires alot of attention from women, he's going to attract women who are in it for something more than casual. Women who are truly into casual flings are not going to go out of their way to see a guy, won't shower him with alot of attention and won't see him frequently. If he isn't happy with that, he probably drops those kind of women. If he gets demanding, these women are the ones who walk away.
I'd suggest telling him to stop talking so much about himself, be honest about what he is with a good sense of humor (but keep it clean at first), and look for women who seem playful and don't seem that into him. Find out if they have circumstances that'd have them leaving town anytime in the near future (less than two years). Keep it casual and don't demand alot of their attention and stay away if they start to get clingy. It's trial and error from there.
being powerful with what you want is not that often programed into our rhelms of what is possible.
I think in a culture that calls women who like sex sluts and men who only sleep with one woman thier whole life wimps, there is little room for getting what you actually want.
also discression also seems to be lost. We want to know everything about what other people are doing. And then we all want to judge them for what ever they choose to do.
So if you are a woman and are telling everyone you have several fuck buddies, it would rare that you would come out un judged.
I say be honest up front, the right kind of woman will surface. One who is less interested in formality and more into what ever she needs or wants.
It has been my experience that almost all women (about 95 percent) would not feel good or right in such a relationship for long, or she will drive herself to rack and ruin with it.
Not only that, too many guys are likely to abuse this situation. Their having sex with a woman for nothing is quite a power rush. And you did say yourself that this guy has quite an ego.
For the the last pair of declared, hetero "fuck-buddies" that I knew, it took only a few weeks before she wanted a more serious relationship with him. One of my more cynical friends pointed out that the "fuck buddy" arrangement seemed to be more of her marketing the real relationship to him. Whether it was or not, her original position was not stable.
My experiences with this type of relationship confirm this. And part of the reason why I now pay for sex is an acknowledgement that it often sex alone isn't an even exchange of pleasure for heterosexuals. I've often seen that women somehow keep a tab, and men enjoying their services for nothing, that is, no relationship, commitment or support are actually enjoying them on credit.
You, of course, would be an exception for him. Just the sort of woman I would look for. But I know you've put him into a different category. That, however, won't work with 99 percent of the guys matched with 95 percent of the women.