Newbie - FAQ

Re: Preliminary lunch/dinner dates should be more common
anavictoria See my TER Reviews 450 reads
posted

I do not live in the P4P world, my lunches and dinners are not paid for and I've established a very loyal following that have become friends in the real world. I am not that young nor that blind and I get the real world more than I do P4P. You talk about P4P but don't realize you've posted this on the Newbie board, where every person could misconstrue this as an invitation to sit an oggle and maybe even feel up a girl who is no where in his league (for just a hundred bills), it becomes blatantly clear that they're NOT colleagues and that it is what it is! On the Newbie board you sometimes have to say how it is, delicately no doubt but it still needs to be said. Otherwise the deluded stay that way and we have complaints on the GB taking about "the girl who wouldn't"! ;)  

My cell phone is put away when I go out. I can't say that about the friend I used to have that could not unglue her face from her phone for just a minute! When you look around you see it everywhere, and just because I pointed it out doesn't mean that I'm guilty of it.  

I do not live in a bubble, I do not live for money, I live for the experience and it's brought me much more "wealth" than any hour could afford. Maybe you should not judge based on one thread and maybe just maybe realize I'm talking about a different side that differs from yours instead of just your way of thinking. I'm "too nice for Vegas"... it's what I'm told.  The scenarios I speak of aren't all mine but what I've heard from others and what I've read, and also what I experienced much younger trying the SD sites and blind dates. That didn't last long!!! To be honest they all sucked, I guess it's that being too nice thing coming to bite me! What I do now is very fulfilling!  

Oh and by the way I do frequently eat with strangers. I prefer to dine at the bar because my schedule is obnoxious, and getting friends together to eat is like pulling teeth! Tried to make me out to be the bad guy when I'm far from it! :)

So, I went to see this gal. And I am just NOT at all attracted to her. What to do?
 
If I bolt, do I get flamed on P411? Blackballed?
Can I give her half the money and leave like a gentleman?
 
How do you guys handle a situation like this?

Check her reviews?   She set asside the time you reserved...   You certainly owe her.

to make it right.  She set aside the time to see you so you owe her the full fee.  Same thing applies if you schedule a 1-hr. date and leave after 45 minutes for whatever reason; you don't get any of the fee back.

If you go to a play or a concert and leave near the beginning, will they give you your money back?  I doubt it.

...her ad, then you can leave.  You wouldn't even owe her half.  However, if you did all your research and you find she's the same woman as in her ad but you're just not feeling it, that's on you and you owe her the full price.

...In this case she was fraudulent. If she is the girl in the photo but she is older, fatter or in some way no longer looks as she does in the pictures then she was deceptive and you can walk away. If she didn't deceive in any way and everything went according to plan in terms of on time, right location, decent surroundings then you can leave if it's just not going to work for you but you owe her because it's nothing she did causing the problem.

Did you research enough? Did you contact her reviewers? Does she have reviews? Did her reviews say she looked like her photos?

nom_de_plume558 reads

Early in my hobbying experience I had a date with a provider who wasn't attractive to me. Her photos were accurate, but sparse and did a good job avoiding her negatives. But she had solid performance reviews, so I stayed and was determined to have a good time. And it turned out she had crazy skills... well worth my time and money.  And I returned to see her. When I stopped seeing her, it was because of her personality, not her looks.

Agreed... and the OP needs to clarify if she had proper pictures. There are times when you guys see highly reviewed providers and only see concealed pictures. You just assume in your little heads what that gal looks like despite the reviews.

If all of her pictures are accurate, then you owe her because you assumed something else. If she lied and did a B&S, you owe her nothing.

Beware of the middle of the road gals who take it farther if you don't pay. It is not our fault if we give you photos and you assume BTW.

You should think with big head, you will have far more fun.... as Non_de_plume said. Older guys appreciate many things. Young idiots do not, that is why most of us do not see young people. There is more to us than looks. Read reviews and see for yourself. The hot ones who lay there and think they are God's gift vs the ok/somewhat hot ones who work to be appreciative.

You will learn one day, the hard way.

If her photo is 100% fake, then go at her. I hate liars.

Zangari471 reads

Posted By: DeveBuoy
So, I went to see this gal. And I am just NOT at all attracted to her. What to do?  
 
  Since you agreed to this appt, you must have been attracted to something about her: her photos, her description, etc.  Did she misrepresent herself?  You need to explain that.  TER reviews include two categories:  1: Photos Real  2: Photos Accurate.  

 If she failed the first test (Photos Real) then it's a bait & switch, an obvious con.  I can ethically walk away without paying her anything.  My guess is she failed the second test (Photos Accurate).  Either she no longer looks like her photos, or she photo-shopped her pix in a deceptive way.  This is a more subjective test.  In this case, I would have paid for her room & left.  

 A legitimate question to ask during screening is "How recent are your photos".  In the sugar world, photos are exchanged both ways.  I've often had to snap a new selfie because an SB will not accept a photo that's just a few months old.  It can be a pain in the ass.  One hot SB texted me at 10 pm & asked me to snap a selfie right then.  I looked like hammered shit as I stepped in front of my bathroom mirror, OMG.  I was tired & my hair was a mess.  I snapped it anyway & she agreed to see me:

 SB:  "I wanted to make sure you were really the guy in the photos."
 
 Z:  "ok, I'm going to bed now."  --z

Keeping in mind that most ladies only use photos that show themselves to their best advantage, were the photos still a reasonable likeness of her?  

If they were, but for whatever reason you were then not attracted to her in person, then you owe her the full donation.  She is not to blame for a lack of chemistry.

If she didn't show her face in the pics, and that was the problem for you, but everything else was as shown ..... well, that's a tough one, but I would say you owed her the full donation.  Of course, it's difficult for me to be objective on this.

Beauty really IS in the eye of the beholder, so all the research in the world may not help you when it comes to a lady's looks above the neck.  Some guys who may find a woman facially unattractive might not wish to be so unkind as to say so in a review.  Plus, even if a gentleman didn't initially like a particular lady's looks, the time spent with her may have been so enjoyable that she started to look better to him by the time he left.  ;-)

Personally, I'm very aware that I'm not everyone's cup of tea beauty-wise, and so this may be a slightly sore subject for me.  Most people who clearly did not find me to be pretty did NOT review me... a few have and even more have made comments about it in person.    
One man remarked that I have a lot of good reviews (nothing had happened between us yet) then asked what my discount was in exchange for that.   OUCH.

Just remember that one man's 5-drink-minimum is another man's GODDESS.   :-)


-- Modified on 4/10/2015 7:01:36 AM

TwoMints541 reads

Only once did I consider walking out. She was nothing like her pictures but that wasn't it, it was her attitude. I'm not that fixated on looks, I've seen some gals that are average looking at best, I just don't focus/fixate on it. It isn't like I'm a model. If a woman is friendly and outgoing, and at least pretends to be into me, I'll/we'll have a good time.

Zangari566 reads

Posted By: TwoMints
She was nothing like her pictures but that wasn't it.. I'm not that fixated on looks, I've seen some gals that are average looking at best, I just don't focus/fixate on it. It isn't like I'm a model --snip--
 

 Listen up: You-Pay-Her.  We know you don't look like a "model".  That's why You-Pay-Her.  She better look like a model or at least the hot girl from her pix.  Otherwise Don't-Pay-Her.    

Posted By: TwoMints
If a woman is friendly and outgoing, and at least pretends to be into me, I'll/we'll have a good time.  
 
 OMG.  Can you really be that lonely?  You sound like you've never had a girlfriend.  My brother, don't settle for so little.  You owe yourself more than that.   --

photos look very appealing.  So, guys in your area comment that "you have a lot of good reviews" then ask for a discount?  Maybe you are attracting the wrong type of clients?

That happened ONCE, a very long time ago.    
The point he was making was that those positive reviews (esp. regarding my looks) HAD to be bought and/or fake since he did not see any other explanation, given his opinion of my appearance.  
I should have asked him to leave at that point... live and learn.  

There's also a very old review where the person said my face was "not as cute as pics suggest".... I'm still scratching my head over that one: how can a blur suggest anything??   But that person was basically calling me a butterface.  And that's ok.  Everyone is entitled to his own opinion. ::shrug::

Both of those individuals were through an agency.  Haven't had any such experiences since going independent

ROGM596 reads

If she doesn't even remotely look like the pic in her ad, but is decent looking enough I'd give her a try. Even some providers who aren't runway models have given me a great session. Looks aren't a high priority for me. Her session performance is. One provider i'm seeing isn't a knock out beauty. But her performance and enthusiasm more than make up for her looks.

Zangari527 reads

Posted By: ROGM
If she doesn't even remotely look like the pic in her ad, but is decent looking enough I'd give her a try.
 
  Translation:  I don't care what the heifer looks like!   If there's a warm body in the room, then I'm going to fuck it!  
 
 I tell you dudes, this thread has turned into a Trainwreck for Johns.  --z

I've had a few encounters where my first thought upon entering was "she's not as pretty as I was expecting," but they all ended up going well. You just do as the ladies do and focus on the aspects of her that work for you. It may be helpful to spend some time getting acquainted rather than jumping right into the action - an eager and fun personality will make her (and you) more attractive. Personally, nothing will kill my boner faster than a bad attitude, no matter how hot she is. If you've booked a long appointment and you're still not feeling it, she may be willing to give you a partial refund.

If the lady has misrepresented herself with fake or grossly inaccurate photos, then you need not be concerned about the following.....

However, if the pics were real and accurate, but you are still not attracted to her: choosing to leave, with or without a cancellation fee, can be taken an insult.  After all, ou are telling her, without words, that she is not appealing enough for you to stay and play. So don't expect any good references, OKs, or anything positive to come of that.

 Oh! And because I am a woman, and we tend to view things in ways a man might not consider.... I also want to point out that if you do still give her the full donation and then leave, she may interpret that as, "I'd rather give you my money for nothing than stay and have sex with you."  There's no way that's not insulting.  

But that's just this female provider's opinion and perspective.  What do I know?

Sometimes we make a mistake and think there might be some physical chemistry only to find out there isn't.  It's not always the provider, sometimes it's us.

We certainly aren't trying to insult you, but would you suggest

I've had encounters that started off awkwardly turn out to be smoldering, panting, soaking the bedsheets HOTTTTTT!  Just because someone doesn't immediately stir your loins, heat your blood, and have you dragging her over to the nearest horizontal surface does not mean that you cannot end up having an amazing time.  

You cannot walk in the door, take a look at someone and maybe say hello, and thereby determine that there isn't any chemistry.  
Saying "it's not you, it's me"... yeah, YOU just don't like the look of me, or are getting some weird vibe from your own head, or had built up this unrealistic idea of what I looked like and are now so disappointed you cannot immediately set that aside.

But the more open-minded thing to do, is to give the situation a chance!  

Yes, we providers are professionals and are accustomed to rolling with the punches.. buy WHY punch us when the alternative could be so much more pleasurable for you as well?

We are human beings with feelings and no matter how many times I've told myself that I shouldn't let these sorts of things get to me, I've never figured out exactly HOW to disallow a feeling from happening.  If you know how to turn off the emotional spigot, please tell me how.  Seriously.

 
Oh, and never punch a provider.  Unless she's a pro sub with whom you've communicated, and received prior approval, regarding said activity.   :-

GaGambler379 reads

but Fugly only takes a split second.

I am not going to eat a steak that doesn't look appetizing when served, I damn sure am not fucking anyone that doesn't look appetizing either. If she takes it as an insult, well at least that means she is not both stupid and ugly. It is what it is.

If she is using fake or very misleading pictures you should leave and not give it a second thought. If she has acurite pics but you built her up to something that she's not in your mind, you owe her the fee. What you choose to do with the time you paid for is up to you. You may find her sex appeal comes not from her looks but from the way she carries herself.

because I have never done that, nor would I.  

I try not to predict or "expect" anything when meeting someone new.   Like most things, initial pictures,  expectations or images in our minds usually fly out the window upon first seeing each other.   And that is okay-it's all part of the experience and excitement and the newness.

Since you often times never see her face, or it is blurred, we tend to put an image on it that matches the rest of her body that is shown.   But of course the girl turns out not to be that at all, and she is a "real" and unique individual---not some fantasy in our mind.    

Once you and her are alone and in a room together,  reality sets in; if you relax and give things a chance to develop--you may be really pleasantly surprised.   If that does happen, and it often does, it's pretty awesome.    If not, no big deal.  Not every girl will be a match or a fit for you.  But, at least--give it a chance

He came in and then claimed he left a 8 thousand dollar camera in an unlocked car. That he has to go secure ti and will be right back.

         We secured a time in under thirty minutes and it was all rather rushed,. I had told him i wasnt planning on doin an appt til later and was claening, He got pushy and said oh I dont care about that , In fact I can come help you clean!

He was rather persistant that he wanted to see me NOW even offering to help me with whatever chores i was hell bent on doing that day, He seemed nice I needed the money. i said well you know, I guess if i can make some money now, and just deal with my housework later that works!

 
  he shows up, comes in starts counting out the donation in front of a window in my bedroom, Which kinda sketched me out, i asked if he could please not count out money on my dresser in front of my bedroom window. For obvious reasons.  

 
   I had aksed if he wouldnt mind also bringing quarters for laundry for me along with the donation. He was organizing those and the donation money as well.  

 
   So he claims he forgot to lock car and a ten thousand or 8 thousand camera in car he is worried. I am annoyed now because I am sneakin a small volume into my apt since business is too slow to afford rooms,..........I am like oh man. are you serious?

 

            I say look are you sure its not just cuz you dont like me?

I say ok fine go do it, but at least leave 50 bucks here for my time in case ytou dont come back. I have had guys say they gotta go do something then they leave and dont come back. I had that happen before .

 

 
          he also had done what he called an le check upon entering my appt and felt my naked breasts up and squeezed them. I had answered door naked since it was so last minute I basically had just stepped out shower as he arrived.  

 
So now the guy has seen me naked. Grabbed and squeezed my tits.  

   He got angry with me for askin him to leave 50 dollars before leaving to "ahem lock the car up with the 8 thousand dollar camera." just for well takin up my entire easter afternoon interupting my happy domestic house claning afternoon i d have planned, deceiving me, touching my naked boobies. Atop that.

 
   I didnt feel i was out of line to ask for a tip for my time and the gettin your jollies and coming in my home staring at my naked body,. touching my breasts. Then oh you decide your all set and leave. no tip or anything to be a gentlemen,  

 
             He said "ok now your reallty makin me uncomfortable." and got kinda short and nasty with me for askin that he leave 50 before leaving,  

 
   he said no you can have the quarters i left you those thats all you get.

I knew he wasnt goin to lock a car because of a camera. I felt you know dude, you just made me drop everything for you, you act all nice and like beg to come here and it had to be like NOW. on your watch, i fetl I had accomadated a last min request.  

 

  I got upset for like five or ten minutes after and then i forgot about it...

It was kinda degrading just to come in and touch me and then leave quarters.  

 
but i didnt sign up for this job because i am a pussy that cant ahndle a few dick heads, I ended up getting  A REPLACEMENT APPT WHO WAS REALLY REALLY POLITE AND NICE TO ME ASAP AFTER.  

 
     He stayed and talked to me after and was friendly to my dog, he gave me the 200 for the hour, i normally charge 300 but after 4 weeks with only 4 appts i realized i am gonna have to run a special rate to get any calls.  

 

I was stubborn i kept my rates up as long as i could but just 4 calls in a month i was struggling.

Once i lowered them now last week was the most prosperous week in months and i made a decent amount.

My photos on every ad are unedited, taken with a cell phone, and 100 percent accurate.  

I am 8 months pregnant  so i am usin pics taken every 2 weeks. Minimum. My most recent photos are of me holding a sign with the date on it to ensure the customers know that is exactly what I look like.  I am being told I look 5 months pregnant by alot of people. So i know i still look ok and hell the price is right whats to complain about?

     I am still offering greek multiples shots o.g. all the same service just at a cheaper rate because that is simply put what was nessecary to still get any call.

 
and still I have had some random people i dont know email me thier two cents, Oh you look great prego your charging way too low. ...."really?' " i said listen you do you, and i will do me, I been in this game long enough to know when you need to go down on your rates and when you go up. After 4 appts in a 4 week period I felt i d lower it again, I been lowering it as i go along if it gets too slow AND THATS ALWAYS HOW HAVE RUN THINGS AND IT WORKS WELL FOR ME.

 

  Not to brag but now at that rate last week was SOO prosperous I got so much done and I in the end obtained the results I had intended on by runnin a special ie lowering my rate a tad, I dont get why random johns feel the need to bombard me with thier business advice4. i wish theyd mind thier business.  

its like they assume they are smarter and have the answers. They never take into consideration that maybe , just maybe, a hooker actually has one iota of what she is doing and its working and has been workin for her and maybe he should just worry about contacting her about a date and not get so annoying about every little detai.l that doesnt concern them,  

 

any hoo I had a guy do that to me on easter he came in and felt me up then left me some quarters. it was very rude. But you know that nice guy that came right after made my day and I told him that, I knew the only way to feel better would be to find a replacement for him and make sure i still was productive and made some money, and I just let it go. i have found that now as a pregnant woman my ability to let shit roll off my back is like vast, I never seem to get very bothered by much,  

 
if this was a year ago i woulda STILL been textin the guy today proberly. One thing i am grateful for is this drastic change to my ability to be oatient and my temperment is like super uber calm and cool.

 
any hoo I think there is no laws this is the wild wild west and no one has to be polite or do the right thing by some one and that guy on easter didnt do the right thing by me, You grab my tits and stare at me naked, my pics are real, the gentlemen with class wouldve said ok fine heres 50 I wasted your time felt you up ect ect here 50 put it towards the baby, good lyuck and see ya later.

but not every one had manners and treat women with respect and generosity, that is the reality of the world we live in, luckily i had a great day and a great time with a polite customer immediatly after and chose to forget all about him, shame on him for being rude to other humans, it will come to back to him, he proberly has trouble every where he goes if his attitude is that he can behave in that manner, as if the world revolves around him.   my photos are accurate and have dates.  

if you touch some one naked especially you should throw em a tip at least before you screw. this dude rudely left a FEW QUARTERS O9N MY NEW BABY DRESSER. I DONT LET SHIT BOTHER ME THOUGH I ENDED UP HAVIN A AWSOME EASTER ANY WAYS.

I had a guy come in , I answer door nakie, he claims he is doing an l.e. test. Grabs my naked breasts feels me up.  

  I had like just got out shower, The whole communication  he was kinda rushing me and wanted to come over to see me  right away. I had told him on phone I was planning on cleaning that afternoon but wanted an appt for later that day.  

He said oh I dont care about that in fact I will come and help you clean! if you like!!!

 
  I said. hmm. well, I guess i should do this appt . and make the money first and clean later,  if you insist , he seemed nice enough.  

I asked him if he would mind bringing me , quarters for the laundry machine too if not too much a bother. I had kept forgetti to do that every time i had gone out for errands that past few days. ...

he arrives and begins counting out money in front of a window in my bedroom on a dresser. I ask him if he can not count money in front my bedroom window. {duh}. !  

 
  he says can I do an l.e. check ?  
I am easy going I say sure!  
anything to make some one feel more at ease. I am newbie friendly and I know some guys dont know what they are doing....!

I explain to him while he is feeling me up that if it is WAS l.e. theyd be asking you about sex for a fee..  

during our communicTIONS I HAVENEVER MENTIONED ANYTHING ILEGAL SO TECHNICALLY EVEN IF I WERE A COP i CANT ARREST SOME ONE UNLESS THEY EMTNION SOLICITING OR ASK FOR THAT.

     I also have good reviews from dated as far back as 2011. I am unsure why he felt need to do l.e. check. ! crazy, but i say sure ok.  

 
I tell him get comfy i will be right in,   I have a crock pot warmed plugged in wall with warm facw cloths, i have a second crock pot with warm massage oils. candles.  

I draped the bed with a clean egyptian cotton sheet and clean egyptian cotton pillow case. got all the toys and condoms anal lubes my butt plugs.
I did have the room ready for asession. and very clean.  

all a sudden he is concerned about a 8 thousand dollar camera he has in the car . He needs to go back down to the garage.

 
      I realize no he he just copped a feel and is now gonna screw.

I ask him if it is because he just doesnt like me. and i ask if he will leave 50 bucks just in case that is the reason as he did cop a feel and waste my easter sunday on me.  

 He says no i left you those quarters. Now your really makin me uncomforatble. I left you the quarters!!!

and he takes off. no tip for feelin up my naked tits, i guess he felt i should provide that for free to people?

 
it was pretty dam annoying but i didnt dwell on it. I sent a nasty text sayin that wasnt cool and i hate you or sumthin. Then i booked a replacement for him faster than I d forgotten about the whole ordeal!  

 
                  the appt I booked in his place was a true gentlemen and it made my day better and the day ended up fruitful anyhow.  

   I dont personaly think the guy owes her anything, ...I think if he inconveniences her and especially if he does like what happened to me "l.e.check" i mean the dude copped a feel too while he was here!

It is between you and the provider.    For me i felt leavin me 50 for my troubles and the tittie grabbing , I felt 50 was fair, i wouldnt have asked for the entire fee but technically he did feel me up and did waste alot my time,...

 
50 bucks wouldve been a polite generous fair gesture, but again i cant force people to do anything and he refused wehn i asked.

its on you and it depends on the situarion, every one can give thier  OPINION , YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS DOIN RIGHT FOR THE PERSON.

 If you dont feel you wasted the ladies time and you owe her nothin after bookin an appt then thats you and your values and you do what you want.

 
                I know for me being felt up while i am standing there naked. I am also 8 months pregnant and just feel vulnerable anyhow. So to me I kinda thought it poor form on his part.

                              especially the fact he copped a feel and then said here have the quarters. Kinda degrading but whatever. i seen and lived through worse. i didnt bat an eye lash.. I just answered the phone and booked a replacement and got over it. No sense fighting over such small things, like askin for 50 bucks after being felt up I cant force people to do right by me in this world!

 
luckily i dont encounter people like this often so I just figured its his loss and his sad life to have no manners and treat a pregnant woman in this manner. shame on him if you ask me.

 
               and as for me no one can say my pics are not accurate i date them and even post unflattering angles to be 100 percent certain there is never any confusion... I have a galery up dated march 27th, and i dont look spectacular in em but the prices have been lowered in recent months alot and surprisingly until this clown, i havent had any drama or complaints or negative people in my presense. not even close. All good guys, generous, easy, most are tipping too! some even tipping by 200 !

but I am fortunate i havent had anything even remotely like that happen before. It was a first. I didnt dwell on it i just found a replacement and did an appt and i forgot about it. Not gonna let any one rain on my parade!

 

but feelin some one up then bolting and then sayin no I left you the quarters. It was a little degrading I guess. ..................................

 



-- Modified on 4/10/2015 1:53:22 PM

That happened to me once.  Her pics didn't show her face, and when I arrived she was... not the prettiest, quite a bit older than I'd thought.  But I didn't want to hurt her feelings.  So when she got naked I covered up and did the deed.  Even bad sex is good, right?

Zangari550 reads

his is SOP in the sugar bowl, but there are providers (usually upscale) who will meet a client for drinks/dinner beforehand.   A first-time client could take a provider to a nice restaurant; maybe pays her a nominal fee ($50-$100), no strings attached.    
If  there's no chemistry, then the client saves $$$ for a session he didn't want.   The provider has avoided the cost of a hotel room.   The gentleman is on the hook for dinner, but both parties will enjoy a nice meal & hopefully interesting conversation.  Greed on both sides typically gets in the way here.  

 Provider:  he's paying me my full rate of $300/hour for dinner.
 Client:  I'm not paying her a god-damned dime for dinner.  

 A lot of first session disasters might be avoided if the two people involved had just shared a meal together.  There's something about that experience.  It's hard to be hostile towards someone who you've just broken bread with.  Think about how unnatural it is to meet for the first time in a hotel room & then a few minutes later start  fucking.  Even when two people like each other, that's awkward. Sex is way better when you're not complete strangers.  Just a thought.  --z

but aside from the benefits mentioned, doing this does require an additional time investment for both parties.  Assuming the suitable arrangements could be made immediately afterwards if they click, however, I completely agree this should become a more common practice...the pros outweigh the additional time investment IMO.
 

Posted By: Zangari
 
   This is SOP in the sugar bowl, but there are providers (usually upscale) who will meet a client for drinks/dinner beforehand.   A first-time client could take a provider to a nice restaurant; maybe pays her a nominal fee ($50-$100), no strings attached.    
 If  there's no chemistry, then the client saves $$$ for a session he didn't want.   The provider has avoided the cost of a hotel room.   The gentleman is on the hook for dinner, but both parties will enjoy a nice meal & hopefully interesting conversation.  Greed on both sides typically gets in the way here.    
   
  Provider:  he's paying me my full rate of $300/hour for dinner.  
  Client:  I'm not paying her a god-damned dime for dinner.    
   
  A lot of first session disasters might be avoided if the two people involved had just shared a meal together.  There's something about that experience.  It's hard to be hostile towards someone who you've just broken bread with.  Think about how unnatural it is to meet for the first time in a hotel room & then a few minutes later start  fucking.  Even when two people like each other, that's awkward. Sex is way better when you're not complete strangers.  Just a thought.  --z

but that isnt gonna happen and you know it, I d be shocked if any ladies with good reviews on here offered this. i dont think it would happen.
   I got reviews and accurate photos hell if you feel uncomfortable once here your free to go. no charge . I am not petty and dont have time to waste bein petty with people.

 
But damn dont feel the gall up and then jet sans even a token of a tip, like 50.

I dont think payin the whole rate is nessecary, at all and i personally wouldnt ask a guy for anything if he showed up like a gentlemen didnt molest me free of charge and grope me,  

I mean if he just showed up then wants to leave, Who the hell am i to ask for my full hour rate? i wouldnt even bother, askin for nothin i d say fine bye!

Aint gonna happen?  Well, maybe not, but that depends on how each party views such an arrangement.  I agree with the OP to the extent that it's an under-used approach with a BIG potential benefit for both the client and provider.

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Posted By: ontheprowl14
Aint gonna happen?  Well, maybe not, but that depends on how each party views such an arrangement.  I agree with the OP to the extent that it's an under-used approach with a BIG potential benefit for both the client and provider.  
 Read her other posts on this thread.  She has way more serious issues than a $50 lunch date.  To be fair, $50 is rather low.  And for a high-volume, low end hooker, it doesn't make sense.  She'll give you a blow job for $100, so why even bother with lunch.  
 
 I'm thinking more of an upscale provider like my former ATF,  who did one hour minimum sessions at $350 at an upscale hotel.  My ATF was terrified of getting arrested, and would often complain about no shows--new clients would often hang her out to dry in her $100 hotel room.  That's the type of provider who might benefit from a $100 preliminary lunch date.  Once she was sitting in front of you,  you wouldn't be thinking about just one session.  You'd be thinking: how often can I fuck this goddess without going broke.  --z

Makes sense to me...especially if a provider's donation is really pricey.  Often the expensive ones don't care about attracting more clients, though.  They're content with whatever business they do  get == I can't necessarily blame them if that's what works for them.

they hit it off for 50 bucks. Just think about that. what world is that gonna happen in?  

 
especially ladies on tour, like they wanna use up an hour of time tryin to win a customer of for 50 bucks?

 
that is terrible advice and a stupid idea. and wouldnt happen, So a lady on tour or lady like me I will be paying a nanny 20 an hour when i leave my house to work come july...............................

 

    I then will be payin for a room, atop the 120 to cover a nanny for an 8 hour shift.

so now i am gonna go to these "go sees" for 50 dollars and entertain a guy with the hopes he maybe just maybe will have good chemistry with me? what then miss out on the drama free customer that doesnt need all that work or expect it.  

                 I wouldnt do that personally.  

 
I also would never ask or demand my full hour rate if the guy was uncomfortable and polite and asked to leave,  

 
    I do think that if you tuch some one as this fat ugly korean scrub from chelsea did to me. He looked run down and ghetto faB ANY WAY, FIGURES HE WOULD ACT LIKE SUCH A BUG! nO LOSS TO ME I GOT A CLASSY CLIENT IN HIS PLACE IN LESS THAN TEN MIN AND STILL PRODUCED SOMETHING FOR THE DAY, tHATS AL I CARED ABOUT.  

 

 
               But you know showin up feelin the merchandise then decidin it aint for you and screwin, um totally not cool.

 

but meetin with guys for 50 bucks and dinner to see if they feel chemistry, ha! thats so funny, I would never. If they wanna leave once they meet me fine, but dont cop a feel then leave with out at least a small tip. ...thats all I would say, i am not a godam piece of fruit at a grocery store.

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Posted By: angelexotic
no escort is gonna have lunch with potential johns just in hopes hit it off for 50 bucks. Just think about that. what world is that gonna happen in?  ...that is terrible advice and a stupid idea.  
 

 How about inviting strangers into your home to turn tricks while you're 8 months pregnant.  What world is that happening in? In your world.  Now let's talk about another world.  You have to eat lunch & dinner, right.  Let someone else pay for that.  Just agree to show up.  Demand $100, that's within the framework of my hypothetical. That's not unreasonable--I'll give that for a lunch date with an SB.  
 
 Here's what that SB knows that you don't:  That $100 lunch may turn into thousands of dollars in an arrangement.   For a smart provider, it may turn into thousands of dollars from repeat sessions with a new client.  Worst case: you get a free meal at a nice restaurant & $100.  I'm always amazed at how short-sighted many providers are--they want all the money now.  That's not how you run a business.  Even a college SB understands that.  She has a future, some people don't.  --z

GaGambler372 reads

How about "dumb" idea? doesn't that sound a bit nicer??? lol

Oops, I just reread Angel's post and "she said it first" my bad. Stupid Idea it is, and for the record, hooking out of your home, pregnant or otherwise really is a stupid (and dangerous) idea, Newbies, please take note and get either a hotel room or an incall apartment if you want to host, Working from home is fraught with unnecessary dangers.

Key word being "there are providers". Not every provider is the same. You look at the most sought after, being youthful and mix that with her seekers being for the most part a very odd match that gets looks... There's a reason there are dinner rates, and why some choose to accept the same fee as if you were BCD.  

Don't lie to yourself, have you looked around lately? Dining even with friends can be a major pain anymore. Seeing everyone tied to their phones and not being social with one another! Not to mention the awkward silence before the meal comes because the only thing you have in common is the fact you have something to exchange, and it's not really dinner conversation! There are providers that are highly skilled at being escorts, they do everything well regardless of their surroundings and their rate reflects that. Trying to cheapen or make this anything else than what it is, well it's very nice to try and find a niche market but that's exactly the market you're seeking. Just as if you were to try and find someone to cuddle, most would without a doubt say that all providers would offer that. Some are put off by genuine closeness and that's their right. It's why reviews are great, you get somewhat of an idea of what you're getting yourself into. Just because there's chemistry at dinner does not mean it will continue BCD.

Timewasters are a huge issue and although I enjoy doing lunches and dinners I do not do them with everyone. The process of sitting down at a table to feel someone out just seems really awkward in my opinion  
. Especially since I've already had issues with that being requested, responded to in a different forum entirely and turning out really bad. Some men would love nothing better than to take an attractive person's time and give very little (as was my experience, so thank that guy). That's where this type of scenario could play out very bad for those wishing to take advantage. There's a reason why we all do what's in our own comfort level and why it should always be respected! If you can find providers to do this then great, but don't be upset when it's shrugged off.

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Posted By: anavictoria
 Not every provider is the same. You look at the most sought after, being youthful and mix that with her seekers being for the most part a very odd match that gets looks...--snip--
 
 It's amazing, that P4P bubble you're living in.  Outside the bubble, in the real world, all kinds of people dine together.  I've had dinner with my female supervisor who is 15 years older than me. I've had lunch with an attractive female colleague who is 20 years younger than me.  We don't "get looks" from anyone.  Do you really think your waitress telepathically *knows* that you're an escort having dinner with your client?  She doesn't know & she doesn't care.  She's not living in your bubble.  
Posted By: anavictoria
 There's a reason there are dinner rates, and why some choose to accept the same fee as if you were BCD.  
 The reason = short term greed.  It's a common malady within P4P:  "I want all your money now".  Here's the problem--greed is a big turn off for any gentleman.  He can smell that greed on you.  He may give you what you want, a few hundred bucks for one day only.   Then he'll find Miss ATF, who thinks long term & spends extra time with him.  She'll earn thousands
of dollars from that same guy via repeat sessions over the next few months.  
Posted By: anavictoria
Dining even with friends can be a major pain anymore. Seeing everyone tied to their phones and not being social with one another! Not to mention the awkward silence before the meal comes because the only thing you have in common is the fact you have something to exchange, and it's not really dinner conversation!  
 Again, this is the saddest thread I've read in a long time.  My advice: turn off your cell & pay attention to the person in front of you.  Learn to be an active listener & take an interest in other people.  It doesn't matter if the person in front of you is your client, a long-lost friend, or your mom.   They have something interesting to say.  You're just not listening.  
   
Posted By: anavictoria
 The process of sitting down at a table to feel someone out just seems really awkward in my opinion  
   
 Just to clarify: in your opinion,  it's awkward to have dinner with a stranger, but it's not awkward to fuck a stranger.  Only someone living in the P4P bubble would think that.  Imagine saying that to a friend or family member who's not involved in P4P.  They would look at you with astonishment.  Not even an SB, who is also P4P, would agree with you.  --z
   
 
 

-- Modified on 4/13/2015 11:02:15 PM

I do not live in the P4P world, my lunches and dinners are not paid for and I've established a very loyal following that have become friends in the real world. I am not that young nor that blind and I get the real world more than I do P4P. You talk about P4P but don't realize you've posted this on the Newbie board, where every person could misconstrue this as an invitation to sit an oggle and maybe even feel up a girl who is no where in his league (for just a hundred bills), it becomes blatantly clear that they're NOT colleagues and that it is what it is! On the Newbie board you sometimes have to say how it is, delicately no doubt but it still needs to be said. Otherwise the deluded stay that way and we have complaints on the GB taking about "the girl who wouldn't"! ;)  

My cell phone is put away when I go out. I can't say that about the friend I used to have that could not unglue her face from her phone for just a minute! When you look around you see it everywhere, and just because I pointed it out doesn't mean that I'm guilty of it.  

I do not live in a bubble, I do not live for money, I live for the experience and it's brought me much more "wealth" than any hour could afford. Maybe you should not judge based on one thread and maybe just maybe realize I'm talking about a different side that differs from yours instead of just your way of thinking. I'm "too nice for Vegas"... it's what I'm told.  The scenarios I speak of aren't all mine but what I've heard from others and what I've read, and also what I experienced much younger trying the SD sites and blind dates. That didn't last long!!! To be honest they all sucked, I guess it's that being too nice thing coming to bite me! What I do now is very fulfilling!  

Oh and by the way I do frequently eat with strangers. I prefer to dine at the bar because my schedule is obnoxious, and getting friends together to eat is like pulling teeth! Tried to make me out to be the bad guy when I'm far from it! :)

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Posted By: anavictoria
…you've posted this on the Newbie board, where every person could misconstrue this as an invitation to sit an oggle and maybe even feel up a girl who is no where in his league
 This is a newbie board but not a troglodyte board.  But let's go ahead & put out this PSA: Hey dudes:  don't feel up a provider if you're meeting her for dinner in a restaurant.  There…now they know, lol.  
Posted By: anavictoria
On the Newbie board you sometimes have to say how it is, delicately no doubt but it still needs to be said. Otherwise the deluded stay that way and we have complaints on the GB taking about "the girl who wouldn't"! ;)  
   
 You have a much better chance of screening out creeps by actually meeting them in a public place. There's no better screen than a prelim dinner--and he's paying for it.   It's much safer than meeting him for the first time in a hotel room.    
 
Posted By: anavictoria
 My cell phone is put away when I go out...just because I pointed it out doesn't mean that I'm guilty of it.
 Well, ok.   But you did state that you'd have nothing to say to a new client on a dinner date.  You're a Pro.  You're in the seduction business.  One would think that you could handle yourself in that situation.  
Posted By: anavictoria
  I do not live in a bubble, I do not live for money…Maybe you should not judge based on one thread The scenarios I speak of aren't all mine but what I've heard from others
 I don't understand why you're staking out positions that aren't yours, and don't represent your own thinking.  
Posted By: anavictoria
also what I experienced much younger trying the SD sites and blind dates. That didn't last long!!! To be honest they all sucked
 You're making a much better argument now.  You've already tried dinner dates & the sugar bowl, but it didn't work out for you.  It's not for everyone.   --z

I did a dinner with a bind date, he was fine during dinner but refused to let go of me when I hugged him good night. Saying that if I only allowed him to come upstairs with me. (I had to threaten screaming to get away) Well behaved in public does not guarantee a well behaved gentleman behind closed doors.  

We don't do this to get to know people, trying to make it anything else blurs lines with those who aren't capable of rational thought process with this to begin with. How do you create the illusion when the gray area becomes too much? And as always there's people who can P4P with no issues but a quick search of the board will show just how deluded some of these hobbyists are and quite frankly why there needs to be a distinct line drawn. I mean unless you seriously want the real girl friend experience to rear its ugly head! We have enough issues with stalkers and the ones who desperately want more because we're nice to them. I'm nice to almost everyone, doesn't mean I'm bedding or dating them all!!

I did not say I would not have anything to say, I have plenty to say to anyone but I'm not a 20 year old sitting down to dinner with a 60 year old... that's where the statement that they'd only have topics of conversation that was not appropriate for dinner came about. Some enjoy youthful company as an escort and have no issue paying for it. I doubt any 20 year old who escorts for a living wants to do dinner with a man that could be her grandfather and not be rightfully reimbursed for it.

I've been around for some time and have experienced plenty, having been there and done that I was touching on all the points you did from all sorts of perspectives. You have to realize that I'm good at what I do because I listen to my seekers or have been there myself.

By the way, I said the SD sites did not work out for me. SD sites aren't the be all end all to finding and establishing a long SD relationship.


-- Modified on 4/14/2015 1:36:24 PM

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Posted By: anavictoria
I did a dinner with a bind date, he was fine during dinner but refused to let go of me when I hugged him good night....I had to threaten screaming to get away...Well behaved in public does not guarantee a well behaved gentleman behind closed doors.  
 

 Your date would've turned out much better if you had just met him in your bedroom, right? Lol, I think your anecdote proves my point, so thanks.  

Posted By: anavictoria
We don't do this to get to know people, trying to make it anything else blurs lines with those who aren't capable of rational thought process with this to begin with.
 Actually, the prelim dinner date is part of your screening.  You *are* trying to get to know him in a safe, public place instead of being alone with him in your hotel room.  No one is claiming the dinner date is 100% effective.  Not one element of your screening process is 100% effective.  
Posted By: anavictoria
 there's people who can P4P with no issues but a quick search of the board will show just how deluded some of these hobbyists are... I doubt any 20 year old who escorts for a living wants to do dinner with a man that could be her grandfather and not be rightfully reimbursed for it. --snip--
 Victoria, you seem like a sweet person. There will always be deluded hobbyists; there are also deluded providers. Since you've focused on age here, let's address it.  You're 28, according to your profile & I've seen your photos.  You look like an attractive 30 year old. I'm in my early 50s.  Based on what you've written,  you probably think you'd be doing me a favor with a $100 dinner date.  Actually, I've bedded SBs much younger than you after a $100 dinner date.  In P4P time, your clock is ticking much faster than mine.  That's what you don't seem to understand.  That may be your delusion.  Sorry,  --

I've dated men your age in my early 20's, I didn't do it for money I did it because I genuinely enjoy the company of older men! I am much older now and still adore older gentlemen. I am not deluded, I believe that gentlemen have a wide variety of women they like to spend quality time with regardless whether it's paid for or not.

A provider's appearance is very important to me and I know exactly what I like regarding certain body features (OK, I'm a butt, face, and eyes guy with a love for curves :)).  This being the case, I go about my preliminary research by doing the following:

First,  I look carefully for those specifics in recent photos (and try to authenticate them whenever possible).  Unless her features are amazing, I try to limit myself to providers who include multiple, recent, non-blurred face pics in their photo galleries.  Second, when considering an appointment with a provider with blurred face pics (occasionally I'm willing), I always decide BEFORE making the appointment whether I'd be willing to "blow off" her donation in the event I find her facial features lacking for some reason.   Assuming her attitude is on target, which it usually, is, taking these steps minimizes the chance of disappointment and puts me in a frame of mind to enjoy the encounter even if a pleasant conversation turns out to be the best part of the experience.

Having said all this, the ladies I've seen to date have all been fascinating, intelligent women and I believe this to be true in general for the most part.  For me, getting to know her intellectually, even briefly, is a big part of the pleasure, too, and  exploring that dimension of intimacy has nothing to do with physical appearance.   Granted, an encounter can be incredible when we find she has the "complete package", but I've found it can still be enjoyable and very worthwhile even when this isn't the case.  

 

 

Posted By: DeveBuoy
So, I went to see this gal. And I am just NOT at all attracted to her. What to do?  
   
 If I bolt, do I get flamed on P411? Blackballed?  
 Can I give her half the money and leave like a gentleman?  
   
 How do you guys handle a situation like this?

I went through the motions. It was the first time in my life I ever had to fake an orgasm, gents. Things just never clicked for me. She had bad skin and didn’t smell too great. Hotel room was a mess, looked well-used.

But here's the weird thing, she was a VERY nice girl. We chatted quite a bit afterwards and she walked me out of the hotel because she wanted to blaze up. And she got me high outside in the rain in front of the hotel. It was pretty cool, actually. And she gave me an "OK" on P411.

Many of you thought the critical thing was whether her photos were real or fake. Who knows? I looked back at them just now and, yeah it was probably her. Her photographer was a real pro, though, because the photos look great. It wasn’t that her face was blurry. Most of you girls hide your faces in the photos. It was that her body looked way worse in real life than in the photos.

As for her reviews, she was VERY well-reviewed, 8's & 9's. All favorable. Should I give an unfavorable review on TER? She was such a nice girl, I don’t think I will. Or do I owe it to the community to “tell it like it is” and offer a correction to all the favorable reviews?

I like the idea about meeting beforehand for dinner or a drink. But in the city I live in, none of you gals ever suggest this. Should I ask?

I especially loved the bizarre Easter groping story, thanks for sharing that one Angel.

I think what I'll do next time is just say I'm a little tired and ask her if she can give me a massage...

-- Modified on 4/10/2015 11:25:10 PM

-- Modified on 4/11/2015 1:12:29 AM

especially when one finds the provider to be a nice person.

By rights, you should tell it as it is.  Not with any vindictiveness, but rather with some sympathy for the provider she could be if she'd just clean up her act, so to speak.

You will not only be helping other clients avoid walking into the pitfall, but giving her a strong incentive to become a better provider.  She could be totally unaware how her shortcomings are undoing her.

But on the other hand, were you to just take a walk here, I could not blame you.

I've done that myself once twice.

people that like drama and bizarre weirdos follow every where I go. I tend to attract crazy people its like have crazy radar and know i am nutty too.  

you know those people that have bizarre things like always happen, never a dull moment types?

 

       Just remeber one bad review and now she will get NO clients from ter or p411, until it passes and new better ones come in could takes months.

 
then she will be forced to see back page jphns and none of them wanna wait for screening. they call when ad goes up end of story.
                just remeber the lady is gonna go through a life changing lull in safe screened customers after bad reviews . due to your one bad review.

             I d say shake it off, like i did on sunday.  
I didnt black list, I didnt enter his number into spokeo so I can have some friends go to his house and pound the shit out him.  
   it aint worht gettin petty over the little shit, If no other guys had an issue and she has all 8 and 9, maybe she just had a bad day?

               I think when things go wrong its best to shake it off and just look forward to the next date that will be better.

I find the drama or mean people, I run into them on rare occasions, the fat messy looking korean guy from chelsea. that felt me up then left. I mean it and he werent worth my energy. I just booked a classy guy in his place, RTurns out the guy i booked instead was like into paleo diet and cooking and was in great shape, very loving, it was a nice easter after all.

 

I d say do not write a bad review, just move on and leave the bad experience in the past. thats just how i handle things, i dont see point in pointing alot energy in revenge and being vindictive to people whom well are obviously just havin a had time any how, sounds like the lady is havn hard time , messy hotel, b.o. smokin pot, with johns after the appts,

 
i mean do you need to worsen her life now? sounds like she is havn a tough go at it, why not move on, this time use ladies like me that have verified photo logos on our p411.

we actually have to proove we look exactly the same as the ad photos to get that badge.

 
you have to send in un edited cell phone pics with signs holding todays date....you cant like fool that system and obtain a verified photo badge unless you truly are the gal in the ad photos.

 
try pming the mpst recent reviewers also. .......................................the bad review?

 
to warn the others? i dont know I mean I personally dont feel the need to warn the other ladies bout the fat run down korean groper. I am sure it was just a weird fluke thing, i am sure he isnt a serial copp a feel and run. I dont know its your call i d say let it go, and move on and spend energy on booking better appts next time, thats what i do

A guy faking an orgasm.. lol
Seriously though, you need to tell a truthful review, you can be honest without being rude, it’s not fair for anyone to falsely represent themselves on either side of this hobby and if were paying we need to know what we’re getting into.  
It sounds like maybe the pictures are older.

I've done this before.

On occasion, I'm just not into it and since ladies want to please us (not the other way around)  i just pretended to have a good time

I can recall 2-3 times when the lady was visibly upset she didnt make me "finish"

Posted By: Steven238
A guy faking an orgasm.. lol  
  Seriously though, you need to tell a truthful review, you can be honest without being rude, it’s not fair for anyone to falsely represent themselves on either side of this hobby and if were paying we need to know what we’re getting into.  
 It sounds like maybe the pictures are older.

If you aren't attracted to them, you can use escorts in the way they meant to be: to walk near you and to hold intelligent conversation. Also you can probably play board games with her.

In my experience only girls in Ukraine were more attractive than I expected. But we cannot import them into the USA. American escort girls who I called had great bodies, but ugly faces. Solution: don't look at her face, you can look through her, over her, at her tits, in the mirror, anywhere else except her face. If her body is good, you can still have a good experience.

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