A young woman joined the army and signed up with the paratroopers. She
 went through the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher  
and higher structures, and finally went to take her first jump from an airplane.  
The next day, she called home to tell her mother the news.  
   
 'So, did you jump?' asked the mother.  

"Well, let me tell you what happened," the girl said. "We got up in the plane,
 and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen
 people got up and just walked out of the plane."  
 
"Is that when you jumped?" asked her mother.    
 
 "Uh, no. The sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw  
them out the door.”    
   
''Did you jump then?" asked her mother.  

 "I'm getting to that. Everyone else had jumped, and I was the last one left on the
plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told me to get off the  
plane or he'd kick my butt.”  
 
"So, did you jump?’

"No. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused  
to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about
 six-foot six, and 280 pounds. He said to me, "Are you gonna jump or not?’'  

I said, 'No sir, I'm too scared.’"

 "So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took out his Johnson. I swear Mom,  
it was about ten inches long and big around as a baseball bat! He said,
 'Either you jump out that door, or I'm sticking this bad boy right up your ass.'"
   
"So, did you jump?" asked her mother.

"Well, a little, at first.