Newbie - FAQ

When the guys start having
Tobi Telford See my TER Reviews 1089 reads
posted

professionally maintained websites, graphic reviews of their sexual liaisons, and photos of their tits on the internet that are all viewable to the general public, then we can talk about mutual disclosure. Until then, I'll wear my "paranoia" badge with pride.  

Posted By: Dr Who revived
but you are in the extreme minority there.  
   
 Most gals are not that paranoid, and simply do a check with a service like P411, RS or DC.    
   
 This nonsense that a few of you gals are promulgating is getting to be onerous for guys who simply don't know any better.    
   
 When YOU and others are forthcoming with YOUR personal info (and reviews aren't personal info I'm afraid)...then I will wholeheartedly agree with each and every john coughing up all their personal info.  
   
 Until then...all of "us" should do what "we" are most comfortable with as far as information.  
   
 I can assure you that your statement of "less and less are accepting burner numbers" is simply NOT the case.    
   
Posted By: Tobi Telford
"if someone publishes your hobby number somewhere then it's fairly straightforward to drop it and select a new one"  
     
  This is exactly how blacklisted guys are able to dump their bad reputations and get themselves a whole new "hobby identity." We can tell via certain screening methods what kind of phone you're using. If I look up a potential client's number and it comes back as being a burner app or prepaid phone, my first thought is "this dude has something to hide." Big red flag, no me gusta.    
     
  Just saying.

Keeping your contact profile under the radar can be significantly improved by using a second phone that's only for hobby use.  If having a second device is problematic, consider adding a Burner app to your smartphone.  Either of these will permit you to walk away from a number that's been compromised, or made public in some way.

Within the US it's fairly easy to buy a prepaid phone from Wal-Mart and simply add minutes using cash, thereby avoiding a credit card trail for your significant other.  You'll have to find a place to keep the phone, and to charge it, and figure out how to use it without raising questions from those who might see it.  If you're ready to change numbers, then a visit to Wal-Mart for a new SIM card and prepaid plan will update your device into a new number.

Alternatively, if you have a smartphone then apps are available like Burner or Hushed that will act as a second line (or more) on your one device.  These apps are fairly low cost and are physically easier to manage.  The Hushed app costs $30 to keep a number for a year, and comes with voice/text/voicemail that are only accessible from within the app.  If the app is not running, calls go directly to the separate Hushed voicemail instead of your normal voicemail.  International service is available, and you can select the country and area code for your new number - takes about 20 seconds to set up a new one.  If worried about someone seeing the app then as cover you could sell something on Craigslist and use the app to set up a phone number for people to call; that should give having the app an air of legitimacy.

In either case, if someone publishes your hobby number somewhere then it's fairly straightforward to drop it and select a new one without disrupting your civilian life.  Be aware that there are only so many phone numbers available, and using a service like Burner or Hushed (both apps for smartphones) ensures that eventually you'll get a number that was recycled.  Based on an older (2011) article linked below, almost 37 million phone numbers are recycled each year - so before accepting a new number you might Google it to see if anything scary pops up!

"if someone publishes your hobby number somewhere then it's fairly straightforward to drop it and select a new one"

This is exactly how blacklisted guys are able to dump their bad reputations and get themselves a whole new "hobby identity." We can tell via certain screening methods what kind of phone you're using. If I look up a potential client's number and it comes back as being a burner app or prepaid phone, my first thought is "this dude has something to hide." Big red flag, no me gusta.  

Just saying.

but you are in the extreme minority there.

Most gals are not that paranoid, and simply do a check with a service like P411, RS or DC.  

This nonsense that a few of you gals are promulgating is getting to be onerous for guys who simply don't know any better.  

When YOU and others are forthcoming with YOUR personal info (and reviews aren't personal info I'm afraid)...then I will wholeheartedly agree with each and every john coughing up all their personal info.

Until then...all of "us" should do what "we" are most comfortable with as far as information.

I can assure you that your statement of "less and less are accepting burner numbers" is simply NOT the case.  

Posted By: Tobi Telford
"if someone publishes your hobby number somewhere then it's fairly straightforward to drop it and select a new one"  
   
 This is exactly how blacklisted guys are able to dump their bad reputations and get themselves a whole new "hobby identity." We can tell via certain screening methods what kind of phone you're using. If I look up a potential client's number and it comes back as being a burner app or prepaid phone, my first thought is "this dude has something to hide." Big red flag, no me gusta.  
   
 Just saying.

professionally maintained websites, graphic reviews of their sexual liaisons, and photos of their tits on the internet that are all viewable to the general public, then we can talk about mutual disclosure. Until then, I'll wear my "paranoia" badge with pride.  

Posted By: Dr Who revived
but you are in the extreme minority there.  
   
 Most gals are not that paranoid, and simply do a check with a service like P411, RS or DC.    
   
 This nonsense that a few of you gals are promulgating is getting to be onerous for guys who simply don't know any better.    
   
 When YOU and others are forthcoming with YOUR personal info (and reviews aren't personal info I'm afraid)...then I will wholeheartedly agree with each and every john coughing up all their personal info.  
   
 Until then...all of "us" should do what "we" are most comfortable with as far as information.  
   
 I can assure you that your statement of "less and less are accepting burner numbers" is simply NOT the case.    
   
Posted By: Tobi Telford
"if someone publishes your hobby number somewhere then it's fairly straightforward to drop it and select a new one"  
     
  This is exactly how blacklisted guys are able to dump their bad reputations and get themselves a whole new "hobby identity." We can tell via certain screening methods what kind of phone you're using. If I look up a potential client's number and it comes back as being a burner app or prepaid phone, my first thought is "this dude has something to hide." Big red flag, no me gusta.    
     
  Just saying.

but those reviews we write ARE graphic stories of our (alleged and fictional) sexual liaisons. And rather than perhaps helping our business, they can come back to bite us in the ass as well.  

As for the burner phones and apps.... don't we use them for many of the same reasons you do as well?

The need for safety applies to both parties equally, although I grant we may have different concerns when it comes to the specifics. However, some guarantee of anonymity and discretion is imperative for all of us - provider and client alike. No matter the positive intentions of most... we are all human and we all make mistakes. Burners negate some of those potential mistakes and the harm that could come from them.

I'll respect your screening process. Just consider that NO amount of screening can locate that one bad seed that intends to do harm and in the process excessive screening can harm many, many who are innocent (the uselessness of TSA in airports is a great example of that!!).

Just my 0.02

Screening doesn't help filter out the bad guys? I don't even know how to respond to that.

Posted By: MasterZen
NO amount of screening can locate that one bad seed that intends to do harm and in the process excessive screening can harm many, many who are innocent (the uselessness of TSA in airports is a great example of that!!).  
   
 Just my 0.02

He did not say screening didn't help filter out bad guys. He said that no matter how much screening you do, there is still risk one db will sneak through.

You and I disagree from time to time but generally I see your logic and point you are trying to make but you have lost me in this thread and are coming off very defensive and illogical for some odd reason.

There are many different types of board personas in this thread all telling you the same, exact thing. They have MUCH more experience than you. I'd listen to them.

I think that TT pays far too much attention to some of the other BSC gals.

I hope she gets her act straightened out quickly!

I stand by my comments earlier...when THEY want to share their personal info with "us"...then "we" can feel much more comfortable sharing info with "them".

I can't tell you how many of these women have a "history"....and if they did indeed NOT use burner phones, fake email addresses, fake websites with blurred photos...many guys would find far too much info that would make many of them VERY uncomfortable.

But none of that is going to happen...so everyone should make sure they do what they need to be discrete.  And safe!

Posted By: JackDunphy
He did not say screening didn't help filter out bad guys. He said that no matter how much screening you do, there is still risk one db will sneak through.  
   
 You and I disagree from time to time but generally I see your logic and point you are trying to make but you have lost me in this thread and are coming off very defensive and illogical for some odd reason.  
   
 There are many different types of board personas in this thread all telling you the same, exact thing. They have MUCH more experience than you. I'd listen to them.

......I have no issue with accepting dates with gentlemen who have burner phones, as long as I can verify their place of employment, etc.  We all need to protect ourselves/family.  DC is a different animal on many levels, and if I find that a gentleman is using a burner phone, it is no different than me using one.  I have two, and one is for my other profession.

      Yes, a few BS artists might skate through, but if you screen on many other levels, this will not happen.

      Trust is a two way street, and I often share my true name when engaging in social/intimate dates. For example, a gentleman friend and I walked into a local restaurant last month, and the first thing the bartender said, was "welcome back *****".  DC is a very big, small town.

       Ladies and gentlemen must choose what is acceptable to them, and others should not berate them for their choices.

Kelly

...want his wife, SO, or gf to find out by purposely or accidentally finding something on his non-hobby phone. You are well aware that guys use burn phones, vonage, phone apps for that very reason. To eliminate a guy because you're aware he's using one of those and, Oh! That's a red flag, he's hiding something." You bet your bippie he is. He's hiding his session with you from his wife, etc. What is this world coming to.  

You're saftey is most important but give me a break! You have ways of knowing he's up to something because of his phone! He definitely is up to something. You. Would you rather he use his "regular" phone and then have the shit hit the fan? Maybe your going to tell me you have ways of figuring that out too and are able to avoid it.

I'm all for providers doing all they need to do to be safe and confident that the guy is simply a guy that wants to fuck. I will not argue who has it better, worse, what have you but your red flags from burner phones is just too much.

Take it easy, man. You're jumping to a LOT of conclusions here. First of all, I never said that I "know he's up to something because of his phone." I said I can determine what kind of phone a guy is using (whether it be a prepaid, an app, or an actual cell phone with a contract), and when I see that it's a prepaid phone or an app, it makes me uneasy.  

Second, I never said that I'd contact someone on their "real" cell. I'm not much of a phone person in general, and unless I have someone's explicit permission to text them at a prearranged time, it's email only for me. If a guy wants me to text him my incall location to a burner number, I have no problem with that.  

I also never said I reject every guy with a burner number. I said it raises a red flag. Nothing more, nothing less.  

Burner phones are a great idea in theory, but my point was that the bad apples have fucked them up for the rest of the guys. Those of us who feel sketched out by them are entitled to feel that way, just as you're entitled to feel the opposite. No one's feelings are invalid.

Let me remind you what you said:

"You actually brought up one of the reasons why less and less of us are accepting burner numbers."

Who were you speaking for if not yourself? You cant speak for what others do because you couldn't possibly know.  

I think any rational person would take that sentence as you don't see guys who use burner phones. That's certainly how I took it Tobi.

When I say I won't accept a burner number, that's what I mean. The number. Granted, this isn't an issue I run into very often, but on the few occasions when someone has given me a burner number, I just say "hey can you give me a number that's attached to your name?" Every time that's happened, they've coughed up their own number. I'll contact them on the throwaway one if that's what they want (for room numbers or whatever). It's never been an issue.  

I really don't understand why this is such a massive deal. All I did was offer an opposing viewpoint re: burner phones and y'all are losing your shit. Now I got Doc up in here saying I need to "get my act together" and what not like I'm some kind of lunatic for being leery of certain things. Just because some of the guys on this thread have been around longer than myself doesn't mean that they're "more experienced" on my side of the biz. I think I can say with quite a bit of confidence that none of the guys here have been hookers (in the same sense that I've never been a john), so there's no way for them to gauge whether or not my stance on the matter is "paranoid." And while I would love to expand on how I know some of the things I mentioned, I can't due to certain board rules and due to the potential for screening methods to become compromised.  

As I said before, the burner number issue is a point of contention amongst some of the ladies. Right or wrong, not everyone agrees. If there's an issue with differing viewpoints, shouldn't all of those viewpoints be known so that everyone can be informed enough to make the appropriate decisions for themselves? Not everything is going to jive with everyone, and there's nothing wrong with that. This doesn't need to be some massive debate with character attacks and shit. I didn't expect for my opinion to be super popular amongst the guys but DAMN.  

Posted By: JackDunphy
Let me remind you what you said:  
   
 "You actually brought up one of the reasons why less and less of us are accepting burner numbers."  
   
 Who were you speaking for if not yourself? You cant speak for what others do because you couldn't possibly know.  
   
 I think any rational person would take that sentence as you don't see guys who use burner phones. That's certainly how I took it Tobi.

"We" all need to do what "we" feel is in our best interest to stay safe/discrete.

There are too many gals here who bloviate suggesting their way is indeed the "right" way to do things.  And the johns better follow it...or else  LOL

Frankly I doubt that you have any better screening method than the other tens of thousands of women who hook.  But if you believe that you do...that's all that really matters.  And if coercing some john to give you his personal information is a way to get what you need...there are some lost souls who will do that.  Others will not.

Please don't fall into the abyss of attempting to argue that what you said is now being misinterpreted.  You're smarter than that...I hope!

She does have a better screening method than the vast majority of gals.  You and I may not like it but her screening is more stringent in a particular method we both are well aware of. Doesn't work for me so I wouldn't bother her unless I change my mind. Must work for her as she hasn't changed her policy. And I guarantee you she knows who's walking in that door more clearly than 95% of other ladies.  

Let it be. This one has been beaten into the dust. IMO.

-- Modified on 3/3/2015 7:33:16 PM

You're welcome. I think. Now as Rod would say, I'm sure the 'board boys' will come after me but that's ok. I don't mind being a BSU on occasion.They're really good people and if you disagree with them once in a bit they seem to respect you for it. Sometimes.  

I do think this whole thing has been beaten to a pulp.

-- Modified on 3/4/2015 10:35:40 AM

GaGambler683 reads

Normally I like to pile on, just for fun, but this is the Newbie Board and letting this thread simply die and fade away off the first page is fine with me.

I will say this thread sounded more like something that BadCollegeGirl would have said than TT, but let's just let it die.

But then the whole 'bash her screening technique' took over yet again. Its old. I agree, it needs to die. Now.

Jack_Inhoff774 reads

I'll say this, and then I'll let it die....probably.  Tobi can screen however she likes,  but Doc Who is right. For her to say that her preferred way is how lots of other girls are screening is downright foolish. There might be other girls who won't take a burner phone....but I've NEVER had an escort turn me down for using a burner phone, and I've NEVER seen an escort say in her ad that as part of her screening requirements, burner phones are unacceptable. Tobi basically saying that many other providers screen like her is the point of contention, and is misleading to newbies. It's a stupid statement and she needed to be called out on it.  

Tobi, can screen how she likes, but a gal that would insist that I give up my real number and not accept a burner phone, would be a huge turn off for me and therefore, she would be off my list.  The fact that she is insisting on having my real number would make me wonder if she has nefarious intentions.  So, screen how you like, Tobi. I'm sure you're aware, though, that this will turn many people away. That's fine. To each his or her own.

I wasn't agreeing with her first comment about burner phones. Hence my comment above about GaG's comment about the late great dead 'Bad College Girl.' I was merely endorsing her decision to screen via client full name, real number etc etc etc. I don't think she would decline anyone for using a burner phone if all else checked out. I'd never give her my real name etc and would merely move on to another provider. THAT piece of the equation has been beaten to death here ad naseum. That was the point I was making. I've never ever had a gal tell me the number I gave her caused her to have an issue with me. If she did, she never at least gave me that excuse. I don't care and dwell on it forever. I just move on. I do agree with Doc 100% on the burner phone point.

Jack_Inhoff710 reads

Is it possible that I misunderstood you? Yes, but I doubt I did.  I think we agree. Tobi can screen however she wants....and in response to her chosen method of screening, which includes making Johns give up their real number, a john has the option of walking away, if he doesn't like her screening.  

The point of contention is when she said that more and more gals are choosing to not accept burner phones, and basically implying that several to most escorts don't accept burner phones.  This is a ridiculous statement, as I've never dealt with an escort who won't take burner phones, and many more experienced dudes will say the same thing.  Tobi saying that lots of escorts use the same screening method as she does was a ridiculously dumb statement, especially here on the newbie board, and the other guys here, mainly Doc Who, did an excellent job, exposing how stupid of a statement it was.

Don't see where we disagree. Personally, I don't like her method of screening as I think it's too intrusive, but she can do what she wants if it works for her, and there are guys who are willing to go with it.  She's off my list, though, and I'm sure that's fine with her.  



-- Modified on 3/5/2015 9:48:23 PM

Especially with your second and closing paragraphs. THAT said someone somewhere along this thread said Tobi (?) would refuse to see a guy with a burner being his sole red flag. She corrected that presumption. That was my major disagreement here. Other of course the usually sage Dr Who blasting her screening methods. Yet again. So she doesn't want MacDaddy walking in the door? For crying out loud who the fuck would? Other than Cosmo of course lol. So yes, we agree.

.."If I look up a potential client's number and it comes back as being a burner app or prepaid phone, my first thought is "this dude has something to hide." That is equal to saying "he is up to something" and your conclusion ( has something to hide) is based on what you found out about his phone.

You will note I didn't say you would contact him on his real phone. I said "Would you rather he use his "regular" phone and then have the shit hit the fan?" It could be any use of his regular phone for the hobby that would be discovered and it could come back to you. Phones do e-mail now as I'm sure you're aware.

You said "Big red flag, no me gusta. Words have meanings. Some are connotative and in the context of this hobby and this discussion those words connote possibly being turned down. While you did not say you won't see him it certainly is clear that it's possible you won't.

It is far more likely that the guy is using a burn phone, Vonage, Google voice, phone app, etc in order to keep the shit from hitting the fan for all involved including you

An independent company who can provide a reputation summary for someone regardless of their phone number is likely the best companion for having a hobby number.  Or perhaps personal referrals.

To a newbie who's scared to provide anything, having a hobby phone can allow him to keep the worlds separate as he finds his footing.  He may be relegated to using BP or providers who feel they need the business and are willing to take a risk to meet with him.

As to the dirtbag issue, I don't know how to deal with that except to filter out anyone who doesn't have a solid reputation via personal referral or verification agency "okays".  Bad apples can ruin things for everyone unless you throw 'em out of the barrel.

And yes, I'm on P411 with (I think) a positive reputation among the ladies I've seen.  Only they know for sure

I don't use verification sites as sole screening tools. They're great for streamlining the reference process, but that's it. I'm not gonna get into the whole personal info debate again since it's been done ad nauseum, but you get the idea.

Sorry Tobi,
Hobby phones are for discretion.  You don't want our SO's calling up unknown numbers on our phones.  One's hobby reputation...  like a reputable provider's stage name...  has value.  I had to get a new hobby phone  but I gave my old & new hobby numbers to my Favorite ladies for scheduling purposes.   I've had this phone for over 2 years...  
And SCAM providers can reinvent themselves with a new stage name as fast as one can click on an ad site...   but unreviewed providers are suspect also.  
Welcome to the Escort World.  It is what it is.

This also works for providers who are "email only" until the client is verified, whereupon they exchange phone numbers for calls or texts, and then a client foolishly publishes the provider's number in a review.

Were it a hobby/burner number then there's limited issues for the provider who can change it and move on, versus the provider who used a real number and now has it linked on the internet for anyone (hotels, rental cars, LEO, leasing companies, family, etc) to find.

I assume that each of the ladies numbers I have are not to be reused after a date until she verifies it on the next one.  Realistically, she could even issue a special phone number for each client but that'd be a pain.

magicsam597 reads

Well done Numpty. I have been using the Hushed app for several months and it is more convenient and discrete for me. It allows me to call and receive text messages whenever I want, which is not the case with an another phone that has to be hidden.  I really don't want the risk and hassle of keeping a second phone and havin to explain it if it is discovered.

As.Good.as.It.Gets616 reads

I do not want to leave a paper trial for my SO to use against me. I also wonder if Hush track/link with your regular phone. I stopped using Google Voice when I found out it's doing that.

It was purchased through the Google Play store using Wallet since I'm using an Android device.  Then I pulled the card off Wallet so there's no way to jam charges - yeah, I'm paranoid about stuff like that.

But you could also buy a Google Play gift card from Best Buy, Target, Wal-Mart etc for cash and use that instead.  Note that your phone will have an icon for the Hushed app, so if she's going into your phone you might have to explain it.  That's where using the Hushed app to set up a phone number for "selling something on Craigslist" would provide a tenable cover story.

keeps providers safe.  Yes, not publishing her personal information if it comes our way...  but the biggie is keeping an irate SO from becoming the provider's worst nightmare.  Stalkling her, dropping a dime on her, targeting her business long after the husband has stopped seeing her.   You are taking (or not taking) my word for it...  you are takingthe word of the ladies who have asked client's to be careful because it happened to them.

I've dated BSC and had them go after regular friends for a perceived relationship.  Hell, I've had one friend who nearly had to move after I helped with a water leak until a real plumber could fix it the following day.

But from a provider's side I would imagine the ability to walk away from a phone number and know it can't follow her into retirement is reassuring.

Posted By: harborview
keeps providers safe.  Yes, not publishing her personal information if it comes our way...  but the biggie is keeping an irate SO from becoming the provider's worst nightmare.  Stalkling her, dropping a dime on her, targeting her business long after the husband has stopped seeing her.   You are taking (or not taking) my word for it...  you are takingthe word of the ladies who have asked client's to be careful because it happened to them.    
 

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