A cowboy was taken prisoner by a bunch of angry Apaches. They were all prepared to kill him but their Chief declared that since they were celebrating the Great Spirit, they would grant the cowboy three wishes before he killing him. The cowboy could do nothing, but obey them.
The Chief cams up to him and asked:
- What do you want for your first wish?
- I want talk to my horse, - replies the cowboy.
The Chief allowed him to talk to the horse. The cowboy whispered in its ear. The horse neighed, reared back, and took off at full speed. About an hour later, the horse returned with a naked lady on its back. Well, the Indians were very impressed, so they let the cowboy use one of their tepees. A little while later, the cowboy stumbled out of the tepee, tucking in his shirt.
The Chief asked him once again:
- What do you want for your second wish?
- I want to talk to my horse, - once again replied the cowboy.
Again, the cowboy whispered into the horse’s ear. The horse neighed, reared back, and took off at full speed. About an hour later, the horse came back with another naked lady on its back. Well, the Indians were very impressed indeed,so once again, they let the cowboy use one of their tepees. The cowboy stumbled out a little while later.
The chief returned to the cowboy and asked:
- So, what do you want for your final wish?
- I really need to talk to my horse, - for the third time replied the cowboy.
He stormed up to the horse, grabbed the horse by the ears and yelled:
- You stupid animal, I said POSSE! POSSE not PUSSY!!!
The same tribe captured a wild west ventriloquist who was touring with a medicine show. They had him tied to a stake and were going to burn him when he had an idea. He called the Chief over and told him that he had magical powers and that he could make animals talk. The Chief agreed that if he could do that they would set him free. So the ventriloquist threw his voice to the Chief's horse who said "I love the Chief. He rides me into the fiercest battles, he feeds me the finest oats. I love the Chief, he is a great warrior." The Chief thought that was all good so asked that he make another animal talk. So the ventriloquist threw his voice to the cow who said "I love the Chief. He allows me to graze in the greenest pastures. He sees that I'm milked every day. I love the chief, he is a great warrior." Still impressed the Chief asked for more so the ventriloquist looked around, saw a sheep and told the Chief that he would make the sheep talk. "No sheep" the Chief said, "everyone knows that sheep lie."
Years later a young innocent female sociologist was studying the folkways of this particular tribe. She came to the chief and asked what all the feathers in his headdress stood for. The Chief looks at her and harshly says, "Feather for each woman I've had."
She then asks, "why so hostile?"
Chief, "Hostile, dog style, any style!"
Young sociologist, "Oh Dear!"
Chief, "no deer, asshole too high, run too fast!"