1. Don't discuss rates. Why? You are a newbie. Discussing rates is something that isn't done because it can be LE attempting to catch the provider. Her discussing rates with you could be LE trying to catch you. Use her site, her ad, and her profile here on TER for rate info.
Now for the what if: Some providers are ok discussing rates once you have passed her screening. But you don't know without bringing up rates so asking is a risk of her cutting off communication. After you pass her screening and the details are set you could ask if she will be ok discussing rates since you have passed her screening. She may say yes. She may hang up. You decide if you want to take the chance. She will be more cautious because you are a newbie. If she thinks you want to negotiate her rates from what she has posted she may cut off communication. The best time to discuss activities and rates other than what she has posted on her site or in her ad is after you have seen her once and she knows you're legit. Her comfort level with you will be up and she will be ok with a discussion like this. Even then it would probably be better to discuss in person before leaving rather than over the phone or in e-mail. TER VIP will let you discuss it by TER PM. I use TER PM to discuss specifics and activities if I haven't done it in person at the last session. My advice about rates is based on you being a newbie. A monger that has been around for a while may be able to discuss rates with providers and discuss special situations because he is established as reliable and trustworthy. Even then I don't recommend bringing it up in initial contact with someone you've never seen before. P411 is worth it but it's not the only way to go. You could just seek out providers that will see you with no references. They will then be your references in the future. They could also give you a TER referral (White List Referral). You'll be giving out your info to several providers if you choose this path. With P411 you give your info to them only. Then look on P411 for "newbie friendly" providers. Many will see you based on your P411 membership alone. Some will still want personal info along with your P411 membership but won't require references. Once you have the P411 providers you see give you "OK's" on P411 you will be good to go.There are a lot of discussions on this board about rates and rate discussion. I recommend you do some reading here. Use the search function to find these discussions. Get the VIP. $30 a month. You can cancel before the first 30 days is over so it won't automatically renew if you think it wasn't worth it. $30 is cheap when a session is $200, $250, $300 or more an hour.
edited for spelling
-- Modified on 2/10/2015 10:20:13 PM
Hey, total newbie here. I just have a couple (probably dumb) questions about how the hobby is usually done.
1. When do you discuss donation rates with a provider? Of course, I understand that rates based on time can be on a provider's site or talked about at pretty much any point, but what if you want to do something extra that costs more, when do the details of that get hashed out? Obvious concerns about LE there.
2. Is it really worth it for a newbie to get a membership to a reference site like p411? I'm just looking for opinions on this one, I wonder if it's worth it just to avoid having to seek out newb-friendly providers and build references.
Thanks in advance!
life preserver). Then read several pages here and you will find many of your questions answered.
Here are the short answers to what you asked.
(1) You don't discuss rates. A provider's rates will be found in her ad, on her website, or in her TER profile. In case these rates are different, use the lower rate when you book with her and say "I am assuming your rate in your TER ad is correct for one hour of your time."
(2) Depends on how much personal info you are willing to give up in order to get screened. Until you have some good references, be prepared to give a lady your name, place of employment, etc.
All providers deserve to feel safe when meeting clients.
are two of the best investments you can make as a newbie. As a basic P411 member you may need to give a little additional information but once you get a few OKs many ladies will happily see you with no more info.
Then if you still have questions, come back here and ask, there are lots of us willing to help you.
Swim
1. Don't discuss rates. Why? You are a newbie. Discussing rates is something that isn't done because it can be LE attempting to catch the provider. Her discussing rates with you could be LE trying to catch you. Use her site, her ad, and her profile here on TER for rate info.
Now for the what if: Some providers are ok discussing rates once you have passed her screening. But you don't know without bringing up rates so asking is a risk of her cutting off communication. After you pass her screening and the details are set you could ask if she will be ok discussing rates since you have passed her screening. She may say yes. She may hang up. You decide if you want to take the chance. She will be more cautious because you are a newbie.
If she thinks you want to negotiate her rates from what she has posted she may cut off communication. The best time to discuss activities and rates other than what she has posted on her site or in her ad is after you have seen her once and she knows you're legit. Her comfort level with you will be up and she will be ok with a discussion like this. Even then it would probably be better to discuss in person before leaving rather than over the phone or in e-mail. TER VIP will let you discuss it by TER PM. I use TER PM to discuss specifics and activities if I haven't done it in person at the last session.
My advice about rates is based on you being a newbie. A monger that has been around for a while may be able to discuss rates with providers and discuss special situations because he is established as reliable and trustworthy. Even then I don't recommend bringing it up in initial contact with someone you've never seen before.
P411 is worth it but it's not the only way to go. You could just seek out providers that will see you with no references. They will then be your references in the future. They could also give you a TER referral (White List Referral). You'll be giving out your info to several providers if you choose this path.
With P411 you give your info to them only. Then look on P411 for "newbie friendly" providers. Many will see you based on your P411 membership alone. Some will still want personal info along with your P411 membership but won't require references. Once you have the P411 providers you see give you "OK's" on P411 you will be good to go.
There are a lot of discussions on this board about rates and rate discussion. I recommend you do some reading here. Use the search function to find these discussions.
Get the VIP. $30 a month. You can cancel before the first 30 days is over so it won't automatically renew if you think it wasn't worth it. $30 is cheap when a session is $200, $250, $300 or more an hour.
edited for spelling
-- Modified on 2/10/2015 10:20:13 PM