Newbie - FAQ

Re: $200. for 2 pops sounds like a Backpage provider, unless you...
TownKid59 656 reads
posted

Thank you, I did that but narrowed down my search to very specifics. It might take a while to get a reply but if I do find someone with the specifics I asked for it will definitely be worth the wait.  

When you mentioned find one that does CIM, if their TER profile says don't know, is that based off the clients or the provider? Is it safe to ask using the acronym within the TER messages?

Thank you again for your reply.
Posted By: TwoMints
I actually struggled to get off with the first ladies I saw when I was new. Not a real struggle but I did last longer then I thought I would. (I wasn't a virgin) I think I worried about preforming poorly but I now know that it doesn't matter. You won't be her worst or best. Just relax and enjoy yourself. The more I relax the more fun I have. Whether you last an hour or 2 minutes, its going to feel good and the lady won't judge you. (at least to your face)  
   
 I would let them know about your situation. Something like, I still have my V card. You may also want to see someone that allows CIM.  
   
 Once she agrees to see you, as a newbie. I'd probably look for a more mature lady or an experienced lady anyway. (lots of reviews) Some ladies may actually relish being your first.  
   
 What I would probably do is this.  
   
 Post an ISO on your local board and spell it out. Ask them to contact you.  
   
 For example,  
   
 ISO white/aa/latina thin/bbw etc.. (what you are looking for)  lady to accept my V card.  
 Please PM me or post here.  
   
 State your desired location/area.  
   
 Yes you may have to provide personal information that's why you want an experienced lady that it probably don't have to worry about abusing your information.  
   
 You'll get responses. Pick the lady you like or do a search.    
   
 I've heard from a few providers stories of dudes popping in their pants when they get there. They aren't offended, but its best you don't surprise them if possible.  
   
 Don't use BP. Use TER, Its a safer experience for you. I don't use BP. I use TER/P411 there are plenty of options. BP is best left to more experienced guys that can use all their resources to ferret of the scams. If you find a BP gal that has reviews on TER that would be okay. New guys shouldn't TOFTT.  
   
 In your ISO you could also ask for suggestions. Plenty of experienced guys can get you with the right lady, they may even help you with explaining it to the lady. I know I'd help, so there are a lot of other guys that would as well. We'd leave the screening to the lady but tell her your situation if you are uncomfortable expressing it. Though most of the ladies are smart enough to figure it out themselves. They lost their V card years/decades ago.  
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
Posted By: BigPapasan
...live in Bumfuck, Nebraska.  You should see a well-reviewed provider here on TER, especially for your first time.  
   
 You shouldn't mention that you're a virgin.  It's too close to talking about sex in exchange for money.  Tell her that you are very, very, VERY inexperienced and ask her if she's comfortable with that.  
   
 The first pop counts, even if you only last one minute.  To last longer, jerk off a couple of hours before your appointment.

TownKid591987 reads

I just want to start out by saying sorry for asking  possibly the most noobish questios, but I just want to make sure because I've read various ways to approach them and I'm really nervous.

First I was wondering if Skype is a good method of contacting a provider. I was thinking of buying Skype credit and using that to call. So I was wondering if anyone has any experience with Skype as a method of contacting providers.

Second, the provider only seems to answer by a phone call, how would I mention to her that I'm a virgin? Should I wait until we meet up, if not how should I tell her on the phone?

Assuming she's okay with seeing me, I'm not sure how to approach the provider about this without getting into specifics on the phone. The provider states that $200 gets me two pops, and I'm okay with that and I respect it. But from what I read it's lucky to even last one minute your first time so how would I mention if the first one counts? If two pops means two pops I'm okay with that and giving more for the third, but is it safe to ask for a third after the LE check and intercourse has initiated, assuming shes okay with it?

Thank you and once again, sorry.

...live in Bumfuck, Nebraska.  You should see a well-reviewed provider here on TER, especially for your first time.

You shouldn't mention that you're a virgin.  It's too close to talking about sex in exchange for money.  Tell her that you are very, very, VERY inexperienced and ask her if she's comfortable with that.

The first pop counts, even if you only last one minute.  To last longer, jerk off a couple of hours before your appointment.

TownKid59921 reads

She has 58 reviews on TER, and advertises a lot on BP. I did some research and her number has been linked with another provider and pictures have been linked to different one too. I thought it was safe simce she has 50+ reviews. Should I try to find a different provider.

Posted By: BigPapasan
...live in Bumfuck, Nebraska.  You should see a well-reviewed provider here on TER, especially for your first time.

You shouldn't mention that you're a virgin.  It's too close to talking about sex in exchange for money.  Tell her that you are very, very, VERY inexperienced and ask her if she's comfortable with that.  

The first pop counts, even if you only last one minute.  To last longer, jerk off a couple of hours before your appointment.

TwoMints728 reads

I actually struggled to get off with the first ladies I saw when I was new. Not a real struggle but I did last longer then I thought I would. (I wasn't a virgin) I think I worried about preforming poorly but I now know that it doesn't matter. You won't be her worst or best. Just relax and enjoy yourself. The more I relax the more fun I have. Whether you last an hour or 2 minutes, its going to feel good and the lady won't judge you. (at least to your face)  

I would let them know about your situation. Something like, I still have my V card. You may also want to see someone that allows CIM.  

Once she agrees to see you, as a newbie. I'd probably look for a more mature lady or an experienced lady anyway. (lots of reviews) Some ladies may actually relish being your first.  

What I would probably do is this.  

Post an ISO on your local board and spell it out. Ask them to contact you.

For example,

ISO white/aa/latina thin/bbw etc.. (what you are looking for)  lady to accept my V card.  
Please PM me or post here.

State your desired location/area.

Yes you may have to provide personal information that's why you want an experienced lady that it probably don't have to worry about abusing your information.

You'll get responses. Pick the lady you like or do a search.  

I've heard from a few providers stories of dudes popping in their pants when they get there. They aren't offended, but its best you don't surprise them if possible.  

Don't use BP. Use TER, Its a safer experience for you. I don't use BP. I use TER/P411 there are plenty of options. BP is best left to more experienced guys that can use all their resources to ferret of the scams. If you find a BP gal that has reviews on TER that would be okay. New guys shouldn't TOFTT.  

In your ISO you could also ask for suggestions. Plenty of experienced guys can get you with the right lady, they may even help you with explaining it to the lady. I know I'd help, so there are a lot of other guys that would as well. We'd leave the screening to the lady but tell her your situation if you are uncomfortable expressing it. Though most of the ladies are smart enough to figure it out themselves. They lost their V card years/decades ago.

 

 

 

Posted By: BigPapasan
...live in Bumfuck, Nebraska.  You should see a well-reviewed provider here on TER, especially for your first time.

You shouldn't mention that you're a virgin.  It's too close to talking about sex in exchange for money.  Tell her that you are very, very, VERY inexperienced and ask her if she's comfortable with that.  

The first pop counts, even if you only last one minute.  To last longer, jerk off a couple of hours before your appointment.

TownKid59657 reads

Thank you, I did that but narrowed down my search to very specifics. It might take a while to get a reply but if I do find someone with the specifics I asked for it will definitely be worth the wait.  

When you mentioned find one that does CIM, if their TER profile says don't know, is that based off the clients or the provider? Is it safe to ask using the acronym within the TER messages?

Thank you again for your reply.

Posted By: TwoMints
I actually struggled to get off with the first ladies I saw when I was new. Not a real struggle but I did last longer then I thought I would. (I wasn't a virgin) I think I worried about preforming poorly but I now know that it doesn't matter. You won't be her worst or best. Just relax and enjoy yourself. The more I relax the more fun I have. Whether you last an hour or 2 minutes, its going to feel good and the lady won't judge you. (at least to your face)  
   
 I would let them know about your situation. Something like, I still have my V card. You may also want to see someone that allows CIM.  
   
 Once she agrees to see you, as a newbie. I'd probably look for a more mature lady or an experienced lady anyway. (lots of reviews) Some ladies may actually relish being your first.  
   
 What I would probably do is this.  
   
 Post an ISO on your local board and spell it out. Ask them to contact you.  
   
 For example,  
   
 ISO white/aa/latina thin/bbw etc.. (what you are looking for)  lady to accept my V card.  
 Please PM me or post here.  
   
 State your desired location/area.  
   
 Yes you may have to provide personal information that's why you want an experienced lady that it probably don't have to worry about abusing your information.  
   
 You'll get responses. Pick the lady you like or do a search.    
   
 I've heard from a few providers stories of dudes popping in their pants when they get there. They aren't offended, but its best you don't surprise them if possible.  
   
 Don't use BP. Use TER, Its a safer experience for you. I don't use BP. I use TER/P411 there are plenty of options. BP is best left to more experienced guys that can use all their resources to ferret of the scams. If you find a BP gal that has reviews on TER that would be okay. New guys shouldn't TOFTT.  
   
 In your ISO you could also ask for suggestions. Plenty of experienced guys can get you with the right lady, they may even help you with explaining it to the lady. I know I'd help, so there are a lot of other guys that would as well. We'd leave the screening to the lady but tell her your situation if you are uncomfortable expressing it. Though most of the ladies are smart enough to figure it out themselves. They lost their V card years/decades ago.  
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
Posted By: BigPapasan
...live in Bumfuck, Nebraska.  You should see a well-reviewed provider here on TER, especially for your first time.  
   
 You shouldn't mention that you're a virgin.  It's too close to talking about sex in exchange for money.  Tell her that you are very, very, VERY inexperienced and ask her if she's comfortable with that.  
   
 The first pop counts, even if you only last one minute.  To last longer, jerk off a couple of hours before your appointment.

If you're planning on doing this more than the one time to pop your cherry, either get a hobby phone, or get one of those apps for a smart phone, like Hushed, that allows you to call and text without using your real life phone number.  Also, be sure to get a hobby email account. I know a few guys who do all their contacting through email and never have to resort to using a phone.  Some providers are the same - email only.

Papa gives good advice as well on getting to the right provider. Avoid Backpage for a first time experience. Take it from me, I did that and it was not so great and I was not in the same situation as you are.

TownKid59573 reads

Yes, he does give good advice, and I only plan on doing this once to give me confidence but who knows if it'll actually work. I have an app that I can text without using my real number, I will try out Hushed. Thank you for that recommendation. =)

Posted By: Lsmjd
If you're planning on doing this more than the one time to pop your cherry, either get a hobby phone, or get one of those apps for a smart phone, like Hushed, that allows you to call and text without using your real life phone number.  Also, be sure to get a hobby email account. I know a few guys who do all their contacting through email and never have to resort to using a phone.  Some providers are the same - email only.  
   
 Papa gives good advice as well on getting to the right provider. Avoid Backpage for a first time experience. Take it from me, I did that and it was not so great and I was not in the same situation as you are.

I understand that you may be at that point where you just want to lose it by any means possible, but it'll be worth it to spend a little more to see one of the highly rated ladies in your area. You may also want to consider booking 90-120 mins so that she can take the time to ease your nerves. These ladies know what they're doing - simply tell her that you're new and really inexperienced. Forget about counting pops and just lay back and let her go to work.

TownKid59590 reads

It's hard trying to find the perfect provider. For my first time I also pictured a natural blonde, and then a bunch of little minor details that don't matter but would prefer such as colored eyes other than brown. So it might take a while to find one but it'll be worth the wait.

Posted By: cocktail-party
I understand that you may be at that point where you just want to lose it by any means possible, but it'll be worth it to spend a little more to see one of the highly rated ladies in your area. You may also want to consider booking 90-120 mins so that she can take the time to ease your nerves. These ladies know what they're doing - simply tell her that you're new and really inexperienced. Forget about counting pops and just lay back and let her go to work.

You probably won't ever find a provider who is the exact dream woman you fantasize in your head about. Yes, you want to choose someone you find attractive, but it's more important that she's patient, kind, understanding, and performs the acts you wish to partake in. It's better to start with a well-reviewed lady who has been around for a while than choosing solely on pictures.

I cannot answer all of your questions, but thought perhaps a different perspective might be useful to you.

Skype?  I've never done it, know next to nothing about it, and thus cannot provide any advice on how to go about it.  But if the lady states that Skype is an available method of contact, and that's how you want to communicate, then go for it.

Mentioning virginity?  Don't mention it prior to meeting in person.  Once you're both settled in, you may want to bring it up as an explanation for your nervousness or any apparent overly-excited demeanor on your part, but DO NOT just blurt it out.  

Go by the reviews as to whether or not multiple rounds are a possibility with this lady.  If you're paying for an hour, then you should have 60 minutes of visitation time, regardless of rounds involved.  There are some extreme exceptions, of course, but as you aren't asking about anything outside the norm, I won't go into it.  ;-)

Might I suggest you consider either a lady who has been around for an extended period of time (several years) or perhaps a mature lady?  Those types are more likely to have experience with someone like yourself and thus be better equipped/prepared to respond to your situation in the most pleasing way.  
 ~This is not a promo for myself, as I prefer NOT to see newbies or younger men.  I am truly being as objective as possible here.~

TownKid59679 reads

I haven't tried Skype myself but I am familiar with it.  

The thing about this provider is that she specifies that $200 gets me 2 rounds, I am just trying to figure out a way to ask for a third just to be safe without insulting her decision of only 200 for 2.

I'm confused about the last recommendation, some providers have suggested that I should stick to providers around my age because I have mentioned my age to some older ones and they kindly refuse because they only see men over a certain age which seems to be 30 on average from what I've seen. I already posted something in the ISO section, I'm just waiting for a message now, which might take a while.  

Thank you for your recommendations and being honest =)

Posted By: DebbieNoonerGirl
I cannot answer all of your questions, but thought perhaps a different perspective might be useful to you.  
   
 Skype?  I've never done it, know next to nothing about it, and thus cannot provide any advice on how to go about it.  But if the lady states that Skype is an available method of contact, and that's how you want to communicate, then go for it.  
   
 Mentioning virginity?  Don't mention it prior to meeting in person.  Once you're both settled in, you may want to bring it up as an explanation for your nervousness or any apparent overly-excited demeanor on your part, but DO NOT just blurt it out.    
   
 Go by the reviews as to whether or not multiple rounds are a possibility with this lady.  If you're paying for an hour, then you should have 60 minutes of visitation time, regardless of rounds involved.  There are some extreme exceptions, of course, but as you aren't asking about anything outside the norm, I won't go into it.  ;-)  
   
 Might I suggest you consider either a lady who has been around for an extended period of time (several years) or perhaps a mature lady?  Those types are more likely to have experience with someone like yourself and thus be better equipped/prepared to respond to your situation in the most pleasing way.  
  ~This is not a promo for myself, as I prefer NOT to see newbies or younger men.  I am truly being as objective as possible here.~

TwoMints578 reads

You need to know that ladies often change their hair color, photo's are old or slightly old or touched up, and wear contacts. They come with zits, stretch marks, razor stubble etc... If they are near perfect, (to you) you aren't seeing them for 200.00. Depending on the market double that is probably closer to what you should expect to pay. Often much more then that.  

You don't need to wait for a response. If she's interested you'll hear from her within a day or so.  

Don't fixate on one lady, it isn't healthy and fantasizing for an extended period of time can lead to a less then stellar experience. Your fantasy becomes to vivid and the experience cannot possibly match your expectations.  

I may be one of the lucky ones that likes a wide variety of ladies. I honestly don't care what their eye color or hair color is. The nice dress they are wearing, while nice to look at, will be on the floor soon enough. I don't care that they are slightly heavier then their pictures. That they are a bit older then their photos. I expect it. Often I'm pleasantly surprised. I often read the worst review first, to give all the stellar reviews perspective. Often the worst ones can be cast aside because the guy is just a dickhead or it could be someone like you. Writing their first review and their expectations couldn't possibly be met. You see every flaw because you are so fixated on the details. Relax and enjoy the experience. Trust me a brunette, or black haired chick can suck a d as well as any blond.  

 
 

Posted By: TownKid59
I haven't tried Skype myself but I am familiar with it.  
   
 The thing about this provider is that she specifies that $200 gets me 2 rounds, I am just trying to figure out a way to ask for a third just to be safe without insulting her decision of only 200 for 2.  
   
 I'm confused about the last recommendation, some providers have suggested that I should stick to providers around my age because I have mentioned my age to some older ones and they kindly refuse because they only see men over a certain age which seems to be 30 on average from what I've seen. I already posted something in the ISO section, I'm just waiting for a message now, which might take a while.  
   
 Thank you for your recommendations and being honest =)  
   
Posted By: DebbieNoonerGirl
I cannot answer all of your questions, but thought perhaps a different perspective might be useful to you.  
     
  Skype?  I've never done it, know next to nothing about it, and thus cannot provide any advice on how to go about it.  But if the lady states that Skype is an available method of contact, and that's how you want to communicate, then go for it.  
     
  Mentioning virginity?  Don't mention it prior to meeting in person.  Once you're both settled in, you may want to bring it up as an explanation for your nervousness or any apparent overly-excited demeanor on your part, but DO NOT just blurt it out.    
     
  Go by the reviews as to whether or not multiple rounds are a possibility with this lady.  If you're paying for an hour, then you should have 60 minutes of visitation time, regardless of rounds involved.  There are some extreme exceptions, of course, but as you aren't asking about anything outside the norm, I won't go into it.  ;-)  
     
  Might I suggest you consider either a lady who has been around for an extended period of time (several years) or perhaps a mature lady?  Those types are more likely to have experience with someone like yourself and thus be better equipped/prepared to respond to your situation in the most pleasing way.    
   ~This is not a promo for myself, as I prefer NOT to see newbies or younger men.  I am truly being as objective as possible here.~

TownKid59558 reads

I personally don't mind what they look like but since people have suggested that I should take my time and find the right provider, so I just want to find one that fits my favorite attributes. If I don't find one then I don't mind who I find as long as it's the best thing I ever experience.  

Posted By: TwoMints
You need to know that ladies often change their hair color, photo's are old or slightly old or touched up, and wear contacts. They come with zits, stretch marks, razor stubble etc... If they are near perfect, (to you) you aren't seeing them for 200.00. Depending on the market double that is probably closer to what you should expect to pay. Often much more then that.  
   
 You don't need to wait for a response. If she's interested you'll hear from her within a day or so.  
   
 Don't fixate on one lady, it isn't healthy and fantasizing for an extended period of time can lead to a less then stellar experience. Your fantasy becomes to vivid and the experience cannot possibly match your expectations.  
   
 I may be one of the lucky ones that likes a wide variety of ladies. I honestly don't care what their eye color or hair color is. The nice dress they are wearing, while nice to look at, will be on the floor soon enough. I don't care that they are slightly heavier then their pictures. That they are a bit older then their photos. I expect it. Often I'm pleasantly surprised. I often read the worst review first, to give all the stellar reviews perspective. Often the worst ones can be cast aside because the guy is just a dickhead or it could be someone like you. Writing their first review and their expectations couldn't possibly be met. You see every flaw because you are so fixated on the details. Relax and enjoy the experience. Trust me a brunette, or black haired chick can suck a d as well as any blond.  
   
   
   
   
Posted By: TownKid59
I haven't tried Skype myself but I am familiar with it.    
     
  The thing about this provider is that she specifies that $200 gets me 2 rounds, I am just trying to figure out a way to ask for a third just to be safe without insulting her decision of only 200 for 2.  
     
  I'm confused about the last recommendation, some providers have suggested that I should stick to providers around my age because I have mentioned my age to some older ones and they kindly refuse because they only see men over a certain age which seems to be 30 on average from what I've seen. I already posted something in the ISO section, I'm just waiting for a message now, which might take a while.    
     
  Thank you for your recommendations and being honest =)  
     
Posted By: DebbieNoonerGirl
I cannot answer all of your questions, but thought perhaps a different perspective might be useful to you.    
       
   Skype?  I've never done it, know next to nothing about it, and thus cannot provide any advice on how to go about it.  But if the lady states that Skype is an available method of contact, and that's how you want to communicate, then go for it.    
       
   Mentioning virginity?  Don't mention it prior to meeting in person.  Once you're both settled in, you may want to bring it up as an explanation for your nervousness or any apparent overly-excited demeanor on your part, but DO NOT just blurt it out.      
       
   Go by the reviews as to whether or not multiple rounds are a possibility with this lady.  If you're paying for an hour, then you should have 60 minutes of visitation time, regardless of rounds involved.  There are some extreme exceptions, of course, but as you aren't asking about anything outside the norm, I won't go into it.  ;-)    
       
   Might I suggest you consider either a lady who has been around for an extended period of time (several years) or perhaps a mature lady?  Those types are more likely to have experience with someone like yourself and thus be better equipped/prepared to respond to your situation in the most pleasing way.    
    ~This is not a promo for myself, as I prefer NOT to see newbies or younger men.  I am truly being as objective as possible here.~

missohara593 reads

Hi... I'm S, a provider. Your first time should be special, as many pops, un rushed , nice bath or shower together after... Even diner... And time to get to know her so you can always smirk and remember when.... I don't know something silly like, drink orange soda bc you know she loves it ;)  

You are so incredibly considerate to ask in the forum so as to know the etiquette ; shows your thoughtful.

 
Where are you located love?  

Happy to help.... Xx S

I'd strongly reconsider losing your virginity in this manner. I don't know exactly how old you are or why you've decided to take this route, but this isn't something that should be taken lightly. It's something that could very seriously skew your perspective on love, sex, and intimacy if you go into it so inexperienced. Obviously, your first time is important to you, so please consider the pros and cons of experiencing your first time within the confines of a transaction. Ask yourself these questions: Why is it important to me that I lose my virginity in the near future? Am I being pressured by friends? Am I being pressured by societal standards of straight male sexuality? Do I possess the emotional maturity to separate the physical act from the mental/psychological/emotional aspect of sex? What is the potential that I'll regret this? If I do end up regretting it, what sort of an impact will that have on me going forward? Is this something that I'd be ashamed if friends or future partners were to know about me? Is this something that I will feel ashamed of in the future?  

I'm not telling you what your answers to those questions should or shouldn't be, but it's important that you're honest with yourself and that you're willing to accept the potential consequences of this in addition to the potential rewards. Only you can decide that for yourself, but PLEASE at least consider the variables. And understand that most (if not all) of the advice you'll get here is coming from people who are speaking from a completely different perspective than the one you're coming from. Ultimately, you have to do what's best for you and what's best for the man you'll become, k? :)

Guys have been losing it to paid companions for thousands of years. If he's hitting his late teens/early twenties, the desire to lose it is overwhelming and probably something he obsesses over all the time. At that point, it can even be a challenge to lose it because no one wants to take the responsibility of being his first.  

And really, once you lose it, you realize that sex isn't such a big deal. As long as he takes the time to choose a quality provider, his first time is going to be way more positive and memorable than the typical awkward teenage experience

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