Newbie - FAQ

Re: If you are not comfortable with a lady's screening . . .
keystonekid 114 Reviews 754 reads
posted

requirements, move on and see someone else.  Every provider has a right to be safe with whomever she spends time with.

Hi Guys,

I have a question on verification. I would like to see a provider but she only accepts screening as whitelist of TER or other means (like membership of preferred 411). the other option is provider references. How do i go about becoming ter whitelisted or what do you suggest that i do to approach this?

Thanks

The only way to get Ter whitelisted is to see a provider that is on Ter and ask her to whitelist you and, well, hope she will.

Being new, i'd suggest getting yourself on P411 or see some ladies that are newbie friendly that can be used as references.

TwoMints1158 reads

To find someone that is newbie friendly and willing to take a chance on seeing you. Yes P411 will help. There are ladies that are newbie friendly and its clearly shown. You can expect to get rejected sometimes, they claim to be newbie friendly but they aren't. You may even need to ask a few, even someone that you wouldn't pick it you had your clear choice of all the different ladies in your area. If they ask for personal information just move on. You gave that information to P411 you shouldn't give it to any provider. No matter what they say.

When I started, the first thing I did, after a lot of research was get P411 weeks in advance. I was going to Vegas, I picked someone that, wasn't exactly my type but was newbie friendly and a well known lady. I asked for a 2 hour date. Her rates where very reasonable. I obviously don't know that she wouldn't have seen me if I had asked for 1 hour but the 2 hours was an incentive for the lady to see me. Like I said, she wasn't exactly my type and wouldn't have been my first choice. When I finally met her, it wasn't that she wasn't attractive she was, her face was blurred. She was larger then I suspected and looked far to much like my SO. I did the deed. It was decent, now after getting a lot of experience it would be a lot better. P411 has an okay system so I got one from her right away, she also white listed me on TER. I was there to monger, so I saw 3 or 4 others during that long weekend. One was her friend.  By the end, I had multiple okays which made it easier to get dates.  

Have a backup plan, and a backup to your backup. I usually ask one provider at a time, but if they don't respond fairly quickly, I'll ask someone else. I don't recommend trying to get a date with only a few hours notice. It isn't likely to happen. Plan ahead and remember you're gonna get laid, so don't over think it on your way over.  

 

Posted By: billharford
Hi Guys,  
   
 I have a question on verification. I would like to see a provider but she only accepts screening as whitelist of TER or other means (like membership of preferred 411). the other option is provider references. How do i go about becoming ter whitelisted or what do you suggest that i do to approach this?  
   
 Thanks

Posted By: TwoMints
If they ask for personal information just move on. You gave that information to P411 you shouldn't give it to any provider. No matter what they say.
I would never entrust my safety to a third party. If you don't want to give additional info, fine, that's your prerogative and I'm sure you'll find ladies who don't require it. But to claim that no one should ever comply with additional screening is grossly presumptuous. There are many of us who don't meet clients anonymously, and plenty of gents are perfectly fine with that. That doesn't mean that we're doing it wrong. Everybody is entitled to gauge their own comfort level and screen/be screened accordingly. World keeps a'spinnin'.

TwoMints876 reads

No offense intended, and I'm sure additional screening may be necessary for some, but you should be able to work with a guys white list, references and other service information such as P411. You shouldn't need anything more. For some reason you believe that you are the only one that has something to protect. Do you give your personal information to each john you see?  Its your body your business but there are literally 10's of thousands of other providers that don't ask for that information. I mean you realize what kind of information you can get with a guys full name? I don't think you are, but what happens if you are a BSC hooker and suddenly my SO is asking why some strange lady is asking to be facebook friends or why she left a message at the house. Fuck that. Guys need to know that they don't and shouldn't give that their information out. I don't care if some guys give it to you. They are dopes.  

Posted By: Tobi Telford
 
   
Posted By: TwoMints
If they ask for personal information just move on. You gave that information to P411 you shouldn't give it to any provider. No matter what they say.
   
 I would never entrust my safety to a third party. If you don't want to give additional info, fine, that's your prerogative and I'm sure you'll find ladies who don't require it. But to claim that no one should ever comply with additional screening is grossly presumptuous. There are many of us who don't meet clients anonymously, and plenty of gents are perfectly fine with that. That doesn't mean that we're doing it wrong. Everybody is entitled to gauge their own comfort level and screen/be screened accordingly. World keeps a'spinnin'.

terweb7798 reads

some providers ask for employment verification  if you are retired how do you get around that

I do take issue with you telling people what they "should" and "shouldn't" do. By telling me that I "shouldn't need" anything beyond references or a verification website membership, you're telling me that I "shouldn't need" to do what I need to do in order to feel safe and comfortable. Notice that I'm not telling you that you should start handing out info that you're not comfortable giving - that's because (as I said before) it's your right to do whatever makes you feel safe and comfortable.  

And you're right, I could be BSC for all you know. And you could be a sex offender for all I know. This whole business is never risk-free for anyone. My point is that everyone is entitled to MITIGATE their own risks as they see fit.  

Calling my clients "dopes," though? Come on.  

Posted By: TwoMints
No offense intended, and I'm sure additional screening may be necessary for some, but you should be able to work with a guys white list, references and other service information such as P411. You shouldn't need anything more. For some reason you believe that you are the only one that has something to protect. Do you give your personal information to each john you see?  Its your body your business but there are literally 10's of thousands of other providers that don't ask for that information. I mean you realize what kind of information you can get with a guys full name? I don't think you are, but what happens if you are a BSC hooker and suddenly my SO is asking why some strange lady is asking to be facebook friends or why she left a message at the house. Fuck that. Guys need to know that they don't and shouldn't give that their information out. I don't care if some guys give it to you. They are dopes.  
   
Posted By: Tobi Telford
 
     
Posted By: TwoMints
If they ask for personal information just move on. You gave that information to P411 you shouldn't give it to any provider. No matter what they say.
 
     
  I would never entrust my safety to a third party. If you don't want to give additional info, fine, that's your prerogative and I'm sure you'll find ladies who don't require it. But to claim that no one should ever comply with additional screening is grossly presumptuous. There are many of us who don't meet clients anonymously, and plenty of gents are perfectly fine with that. That doesn't mean that we're doing it wrong. Everybody is entitled to gauge their own comfort level and screen/be screened accordingly. World keeps a'spinnin'.

Dear Tobi:
Just wondering since you became an Adult Companionship Provider how have you changed the way that you screen? Also how do you prioritize certain information and what would you deem most important from least important?  Also what are you most adamant about now that you weren't a stickler for when you first started? Also are you more particular about whom you see as opposed to when you first started?

Thanks for the answers. I don't have a problem providing my information about work and stuff I think. But what is the process of verifying this? I'm just saying because if it's something where they will go to an online service and verify identity that's fine, but if they're actually going to call my workplace and say "hey, i'm an escort and employee xxx (no pun intended) wants to bang me, is he a good guy for your company?".... I know that would not happen (extreme example) but you get the point... gotta handle this with care.

This is a touchy subject for many (as you can probably tell).  

Since we're speaking on a public forum, I can't get into how exactly we process information (if everyone knew exactly how we did things, it'd be much easier for the undesirables to figure out how to circumvent screening). As for the ladies who call your workplace for verification, they do it very discreetly. For example, they call the main switchboard at your place of employment and say something to the effect of "May I speak with Joe Schmoe? This is Tobi from Geico returning his call." Something innocuous like that. If there's something specific you'd like her to use as a cover story, just let her know. It's a pretty painless process.  

The main thing to remember is this: we don't care who you are. What we care about is who you're not. :)

Posted By: billharford
Thanks for the answers. I don't have a problem providing my information about work and stuff I think. But what is the process of verifying this? I'm just saying because if it's something where they will go to an online service and verify identity that's fine, but if they're actually going to call my workplace and say "hey, i'm an escort and employee xxx (no pun intended) wants to bang me, is he a good guy for your company?".... I know that would not happen (extreme example) but you get the point... gotta handle this with care.

TwoMints987 reads

Yes every client out there needs to understand the risks of giving you that information. If they thought about it most of them wouldn't do it.  I didn't tell you what you should do or shouldn't do.  Like I said, its your business run it how you like.  

Yes, your clients should "mitigate" their risk by not sharing their information with you. I called them dopey, I was being generous.  

When you get older you might end up doing something else. You might end up married with kids, have a house or a legal business, maybe a professional career then you'll understand the other side of the equation. What your asking is equivalent to giving your bank information to some prince in Nigeria.  

I'd ask you this, if there is so much danger out there, why are you one of the very few that ask for that information?  

I'm a bit shocked that P411 allows you to advertise there. You are basically telling them they aren't necessary. You like the "free" advertising but don't believe that they are safe. If a guy contacts you and has 10 okays he's as likely to turn rapists as is the guy with the clean background check. Actually he's less likely to do so. A guy with that many okays would never contact you if he has anything to protect. He learned long ago it isn't worth the hassle or risk. You're newbie friendly relying on their naivety.  

Posted By: Tobi Telford
I do take issue with you telling people what they "should" and "shouldn't" do. By telling me that I "shouldn't need" anything beyond references or a verification website membership, you're telling me that I "shouldn't need" to do what I need to do in order to feel safe and comfortable. Notice that I'm not telling you that you should start handing out info that you're not comfortable giving - that's because (as I said before) it's your right to do whatever makes you feel safe and comfortable.  
   
 And you're right, I could be BSC for all you know. And you could be a sex offender for all I know. This whole business is never risk-free for anyone. My point is that everyone is entitled to MITIGATE their own risks as they see fit.  
   
 Calling my clients "dopes," though? Come on.  
   
Posted By: TwoMints
No offense intended, and I'm sure additional screening may be necessary for some, but you should be able to work with a guys white list, references and other service information such as P411. You shouldn't need anything more. For some reason you believe that you are the only one that has something to protect. Do you give your personal information to each john you see?  Its your body your business but there are literally 10's of thousands of other providers that don't ask for that information. I mean you realize what kind of information you can get with a guys full name? I don't think you are, but what happens if you are a BSC hooker and suddenly my SO is asking why some strange lady is asking to be facebook friends or why she left a message at the house. Fuck that. Guys need to know that they don't and shouldn't give that their information out. I don't care if some guys give it to you. They are dopes.    
     
Posted By: Tobi Telford
   
       
   
Posted By: TwoMints
If they ask for personal information just move on. You gave that information to P411 you shouldn't give it to any provider. No matter what they say.
   
       
   I would never entrust my safety to a third party. If you don't want to give additional info, fine, that's your prerogative and I'm sure you'll find ladies who don't require it. But to claim that no one should ever comply with additional screening is grossly presumptuous. There are many of us who don't meet clients anonymously, and plenty of gents are perfectly fine with that. That doesn't mean that we're doing it wrong. Everybody is entitled to gauge their own comfort level and screen/be screened accordingly. World keeps a'spinnin'.

...so honestly, it's the lady's choice to screen more thoroughly or not.  And i appreciate the fact that you think that most don't ask for any additional information, knowing full well that p411 has been infiltrated by LE numerous times on both sides.  

Call me a control freak, but quite honestly, p411 could be using your college ID from 1989 as a "photo ID", and that's not something that I'm comfortable with. P411 doesn't tell me if you have a criminal record that includes sexual abuse or violent crimes. Your name does that, and p411 doesn't give me that.  And to those that play the "hookers don't give out their real names, so why should I" game; please.  When you have a viable web presence via a website, social media, and board activity, along with reviews to verify the experiences of others under an alias, then I'll gladly take an alias.  Until then, please. Save the story.  

What sense would it make for a thoroughly reviewed lady who obviously has a successful business to go about ruining her business by disclosing information? It makes zero sense.  And quite frankly, I could honestly care less about who you are, what you do, and any reason why you have "so much to lose".  Everyone should practice risk-reduction in every aspect of this business.  For johns, that means seeing a well reviewed provider so you won't get ripped off in some way or another, or arrested. For hookers to mitigate their risk, arrest and exposure are the least of our worries. While being exposed as a john could devastate your personal and professional life should some BSC decide to abuse your information, at least you'd still be alive.  If you need a point of reference, please look up the statistics for murdered hookers, strippers, and other sex workers. Gary, IN would be a great place to start.  

It kind-of amazes me that guys see ladies who don't screen, honestly.  If i were in the business of robbing people or setting them up, the first thing I wouldn't do is screen them because I could care less about a potential threat to my well-being. This actually happened to a client of mine; he saw a lady who didn't screen him, and as soon as he was undressed, some other person came in the room, roughed him up, and he was left with nothing.  

If I were vice setting up a sting, the last thing i'd do is screen someone.  I need that john on the line and in the room with me ASAP. I'm going to get his name after he's arrested anyway.  

If there are so many ladies out there who take p411 on face value, why are you throwing such a fit about screening with the ladies who require additional information?  Simply move on.  This debate isn't going to change anyone's mind; I'm always going to value my own life, safety, and freedom over the personal information of a john, and some johns aren't ever going to be able to see a hooker's concerns for her life, safety, and freedom as being more important than his need for secrecy.

-- Modified on 1/26/2015 8:17:27 PM

You forgot to mention that p411 will show you if the guy has references from well known providers that you can contact and ask.  
I never seen a lady that doesn't screen and I never gave any personal info to the ladies either.
Most ladies use recent provider references to screen because that's what makes sense. How is using employment info going to prove that the guy is cool? I don't understand. Running into LE sucks but it's really not the worst thing that could happen. The best way to avoid freaks is use recent references from established providers.  

To me there is no need to ever give any personal info as long as you have references.

-- Modified on 1/29/2015 10:23:34 PM

She can rain hell fire on your personal life if you don't conduct yourself like a gentalman and she has your name recorded so LE can question you of they are investigating her assault or death.

"Clients are often verified for a P411 account using provider references only, which means that we probably did not collect any 'real life' information on him at any point in the process. P411 is only intended to be used as one tool in the screening process, and we encourage you to do as much additional verification as you feel is necessary to keep yourself safe."

Posted By: TwoMints
Yes every client out there needs to understand the risks of giving you that information. If they thought about it most of them wouldn't do it.  I didn't tell you what you should do or shouldn't do.  Like I said, its your business run it how you like.  
   
 Yes, your clients should "mitigate" their risk by not sharing their information with you. I called them dopey, I was being generous.  
   
 When you get older you might end up doing something else. You might end up married with kids, have a house or a legal business, maybe a professional career then you'll understand the other side of the equation. What your asking is equivalent to giving your bank information to some prince in Nigeria.  
   
 I'd ask you this, if there is so much danger out there, why are you one of the very few that ask for that information?  
   
 I'm a bit shocked that P411 allows you to advertise there. You are basically telling them they aren't necessary. You like the "free" advertising but don't believe that they are safe. If a guy contacts you and has 10 okays he's as likely to turn rapists as is the guy with the clean background check. Actually he's less likely to do so. A guy with that many okays would never contact you if he has anything to protect. He learned long ago it isn't worth the hassle or risk. You're newbie friendly relying on their naivety.  
   
Posted By: Tobi Telford
I do take issue with you telling people what they "should" and "shouldn't" do. By telling me that I "shouldn't need" anything beyond references or a verification website membership, you're telling me that I "shouldn't need" to do what I need to do in order to feel safe and comfortable. Notice that I'm not telling you that you should start handing out info that you're not comfortable giving - that's because (as I said before) it's your right to do whatever makes you feel safe and comfortable.    
     
  And you're right, I could be BSC for all you know. And you could be a sex offender for all I know. This whole business is never risk-free for anyone. My point is that everyone is entitled to MITIGATE their own risks as they see fit.    
     
  Calling my clients "dopes," though? Come on.    
     
Posted By: TwoMints
No offense intended, and I'm sure additional screening may be necessary for some, but you should be able to work with a guys white list, references and other service information such as P411. You shouldn't need anything more. For some reason you believe that you are the only one that has something to protect. Do you give your personal information to each john you see?  Its your body your business but there are literally 10's of thousands of other providers that don't ask for that information. I mean you realize what kind of information you can get with a guys full name? I don't think you are, but what happens if you are a BSC hooker and suddenly my SO is asking why some strange lady is asking to be facebook friends or why she left a message at the house. Fuck that. Guys need to know that they don't and shouldn't give that their information out. I don't care if some guys give it to you. They are dopes.    
       
   
Posted By: Tobi Telford
   
         
   
Posted By: TwoMints
If they ask for personal information just move on. You gave that information to P411 you shouldn't give it to any provider. No matter what they say.
   
         
    I would never entrust my safety to a third party. If you don't want to give additional info, fine, that's your prerogative and I'm sure you'll find ladies who don't require it. But to claim that no one should ever comply with additional screening is grossly presumptuous. There are many of us who don't meet clients anonymously, and plenty of gents are perfectly fine with that. That doesn't mean that we're doing it wrong. Everybody is entitled to gauge their own comfort level and screen/be screened accordingly. World keeps a'spinnin'.

requirements, move on and see someone else.  Every provider has a right to be safe with whomever she spends time with.

but when I walked out of Tobi's incall I was a damned happy (and tired) dope. My only issue with Tobi is that she insists on living in Cincinnati rather than Chicago, but hey, nobody's perfect.

And folks have accepted that others may choose to "play in this world" in very different ways.
Because the issue involves feelings and perceptions of personal safety, you will get VERY strong emotional reactions to the screening issue (on both sides). Tobi has stated her position very fairly - without trying to sway you to accept her way.  The other provider fell into the pissing match trap of "my concerns are more legitimate and serious than yours" - which is never a winning approach IMO (but to be fair, hers was just the flip side of your own strongly stated opinion).  I too choose to play very safely and not provide additional info, but if others don't have that same concern and are willing to share their info, that's completely up to them.

The main purpose of this newbie board is to educate newbies about the hobby, including the different ways to go about it.  Yes, if they have serious concern about sharing their info, they should be told that once they get a few okays under their belt that the vast majority of P411 ladies will indeed be willing to see them without asking for more info.  And at the same time, they should also know that there is a large group of reputable providers who ask for more info and many experienced hobbyists who have been supplying said info to these ladies for years without a problem the overwhelming majority of time.

Best to just lay it out there like this, and let guys make up their own minds about what they are comfortable with, IMO.
Present the hobbying landscape fairly and without judgement of others, so the newbs can make informed decisions (and at the same time hopefully keep this board free from the train-wreck pissing match threads on this topic that it has seen in the past!).

Thanks everyone for their input. I guess 411 is the way to go and then start building the experience and references...

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