Newbie - FAQ

That and...
JohnyComeAlready 601 reads
posted

Who doesn't have access to a cell phone and or email today?  

On that account I think a provider calling the work place will look highly suspicious, especially if the guy never takes a day off from the office to keep his doctor/dentist appointment.  

 
I think this is a bad move, and should be avoided.

I'm just curious what types of information a provider is looking for when she calls a person's place of employment.  It may sound like a silly question, but I don't see where it's necessary.  Any answers I get will be greatly appreciated.  Thank you in advance!

Senator.Blutarsky839 reads

...and not just making it up. I would recommend joining a verification site like P411. That way you only have to give it out once. Now, some gals require more, but for 99% of them it works great

I guess it's a one time deal, gentleman shouldn't take any unnecessary risks.

they respond that they are calling from your doctor's office, or similar bland description that won't arouse any undue alarm.

Sometimes I tell gals (Because our receptionist is trained to always ask what the call is in regard to.) to say that they are returning my call from BJ Industries.  That way I know what the call is really about.

appropriate to your business.  Receptionists are often instructed to weed out cold calls.  A Doctor or Dental appointment reminder is pretty common these days.

be aware however, that if you work in small town, your receptionist may realize that the gal calling is not your dentist's secretary.   And if you are getting calls for more than one or two reminders per year,  that will certainly look a bit suspicious.    Especially if your "real" dentist or doc is calling as well

GOOD POINT!

that's why it's BEST for a girl to ask the client what is best to say if asked "who is calling"     The guy SHOULD know what is best for their particular situation

Who doesn't have access to a cell phone and or email today?  

On that account I think a provider calling the work place will look highly suspicious, especially if the guy never takes a day off from the office to keep his doctor/dentist appointment.  

 
I think this is a bad move, and should be avoided.

If she causes a scene or calls your boss, will you be able to survive that? For most they can't so I would highly advise not doing so.

I know that wasn't your question, but just wanted you to know the risk you are taking goes up substantially with the more personal info you give out to someone.

..they know the address of our incall location.  Talk about trust!

Hugs and Kisses,
Kelly

-- Modified on 12/13/2014 5:10:13 PM

But If a guy asked where you work in civie life and he was a stranger you would tell him to fk off, in a nice way of course. Lol. In that same vein, I would tell a newbie guy the same thing.

Each side has to be responsible and comfortable for the info they give out. You are not a newb so I fully trust you know how to handle these situations. I don't have that same confidence in a newbie guy posting here as he wouldn't fully understand the ramifications or likelihood of coming across a BSC girl.

And I have said it before but generally speaking, the women have a much bigger risk in this business, at least from a physical assault perspective, than do men and need to be very careful knowing that fact

but, to say that a guy knowing an in-call address (which I assume is not the lady's home address) is comparable to a lady knowing a guy's real name and place of work?  That's a stretch.  It is precisely BECAUSE these aren't equivalent that this level of screening is effective for ladies.  The more a guy has to lose, the more the odds swing in the lady's favor in terms of the guy being a good client (and hell, who can blame a lady for wanting the best odds possible for this?).

Newbies just need to understand the lay of the land so that they can make informed decisions.  If they are fine with sharing their personal info with individual ladies, great, but they should also be told that is not SOP with most providers, that if not comfortable with doing this, that they can still partake in this hobby with thousands of possibilities (particularly if they use a service like P411 to get started)

is contact her landlord, etc.  In this day, one can find the owner of a building through Google, land records, etc and cause all sorts of problems.

   Not SOP?  Really?  I beg to differ. P411. Yes, it's a great site, but gentlemen must still forward my appointment form from my website, if they wish to visit with me.  Please remember that not all that read and post on this board are "hobbyists"; some are looking for a true connection with a few ladies.

   If ladies are willing to see you without knowing your true identity, more power to you!  I enjoy another profession, and cannot afford to have my two worlds collide.  

Hugs and Kisses,
Kelly

     

Posted By: Jstgttnstrtd
but, to say that a guy knowing an in-call address (which I assume is not the lady's home address) is comparable to a lady knowing a guy's real name and place of work?  That's a stretch.  It is precisely BECAUSE these aren't equivalent that this level of screening is effective for ladies.  The more a guy has to lose, the more the odds swing in the lady's favor in terms of the guy being a good client (and hell, who can blame a lady for wanting the best odds possible for this?).  
   
 Newbies just need to understand the lay of the land so that they can make informed decisions.  If they are fine with sharing their personal info with individual ladies, great, but they should also be told that is not SOP with most providers, that if not comfortable with doing this, that they can still partake in this hobby with thousands of possibilities (particularly if they use a service like P411 to get started).  
   
 

I went back and re-read what I wrote, just to make sure I didn't state anything incorrectly.

And I didn't.

Not sure where the talk of landlords, etc. enters into this discussion, since I went out of my way to to emphasize that I was talking about incall locations that ARE NOT THE LADY'S RESIDENCE, so I was obviously assuming a non-fixed incall (if you have a quasi-permanent incall address, then you are certainly increasing your risk).  But if you truly think my statement is incorrect, that is, you believe that guys' knowing where you are staying is the same as you knowing where they work and their real name - then I guess you'd have no problem sharing your personal info with guys too.  I'll go out on a limb here and say you are NOT willing to do that - and nor should you, for obvious reasons!  Again, like I said in my reply, having this information gives you an edge, which is why it is helpful.

Also I said MOST providers don't ask for additional personal information.  SOME do, but clearly NOT the majority (assuming a gent is established with some references) and I absolutely, positively, 100% do NOT begrudge ladies like you AT ALL for this.  Or as you said, more power to you!  :o).  Personally, I'm EXACTLY like you, I can't afford the risk of my two words colliding, so I choose to play very safely.

But again, the newbie board is a place for describing the lay of the hobbying landscape as it ACTUALLY is - not as individual hobbyists or providers WANT it to be.  I'm sure you'd love it if the SOP for ALL providers was to get personal info, because then it would be an even playing field.  No doubt if this was the case many gents would relent and take greater risk in order to play.  But it is also undoubtably true that many like me would bid adios to this little hobby.  It's not a matter of lack of trust, it's just that like you - I have waaaaay too much to lose.

I'll leave aside your comment about certain guys who pay for sex not really being hobbyists, as that could certainly be the topic of a long thread itself.

All the Best..

Men in this biz have a higher risk of getting outed than women do. But women have more risk in terms of their personal safety. So I am not sure what you think I am "stretching."

There are some women I won't see because they ask too much info for my liking and comfort level. But that is from my side of the coin.  

If I were giving advice to an escort, and I have on many, many occasions, I would advise her to ask for as much info as possible, including employer info, multiple well known referrals and a p411 type site as further peace of mind.

But every girl has to do her own cost benefit analysis as the more stringent her verification process is, the less guys/less money she is likely to see. Risk/reward, when your life/physical wellness is on the line, is something I don't argue with a gal  in p4p

I don't disagree with what you say.
Ladies should take every pracaution they feel necessary to be safe.
The market figures out what is too much or too little info in terms of demand and profits, etc

......I never call.  There are many other options to verify a gentleman's place of employment, etc.  All my research/verification is done online.  One just needs to know where to look.

      I am based in DC, and many of my gentlemen callers are contractors, and do not have a "desk", at their place of employment.  

Hugs and Kisses,
Kelly

how does a provider verify your employment then?

....but unfortunately, I do not share my screening process on a public board, or with gentlemen.

Hugs and Kisses,
Kelly

Posted By: logostuck
how does a provider verify your employment then?  
Retired or self employed or no in an office environment...  alternative screening data would have to be used.  Every gal has her own method & in any event, not suitable to discuss on an open forum.  LE & rule beaters don't need our help.

Epsilon_Eridani865 reads

... I give the ladies 2 or 3 references from ladies that I have seen recently. It has worked out 99% of the time.

the 1% that didn't work out? they were asking for more personal information where I drew the line and politely told them that I am no longer interested in their services and moved on to the next lady.

Posted By: logostuck
Re: what if you are self-employed - work from home? how does a provider verify your employment then?  

They'll call the main switchboard, say something like "could you connect me to jayematt? This is Sally with Geico returning his call" or whatever cover story y'all decide on (personally, I prefer to ask the guy what cover he'd like me to use - he's more likely to know what'll seem the least conspicuous at his job than I would). Once they're patched through to you, they'll either hang up or use some kind of code phrasing to double check. Easy peasy.

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