If the situation had been reversed how would she have reacted to your disappearance? Yeah, life can get in the way sometimes and can be excused if out of character. But if she has a reputation for this, then the blame partly resides on every guy who waited to see her, or who rescheduled for a makeup visit - just shouldn't reward bad behavior!
I know your libido is trying to drive the discussion for you right now, but instead of fighting a losing battle just let it focus on another top ranked provider and chalk this one up to fate. It's not like you had sex with every girl your dick fell in lust with, so even in P4P there's no reason to chase a lopsided relationship.I made an appointment mid afternoon Saturday see a very well reviewed provider who is exactly my type. She is one of the very top providers in my city and has pages and pages of excellent reviews dating back a couple of years.
I texted her early that morning and reconfirmed the appointment, which she responded to within a few minutes. That afternoon (just 6 or 7 hours after our last email exchange), I went to her building at the address she had sent me. She said to let her know when I got there and she'd let me know the room number, so I messaged her that I was there. Then I waited. And waited. And waited. All reviewers agree that she runs late... anywhere from 30 to 90 minutes on average, so I was prepared to wait. But the reviewers wrote that she would always email them and let them know she's running behind. With me, there was zero communication at all.
After 90 minutes (the longest any reviewer indicated he had to wait) and a few more "Hey? What's going on?" messages sent to her , I left with no communication from her.
A day and a half later (Sunday night), she emailed me, apologized, and offered to reschedule.
Her high ratings and my thinking with my little head mean that I want to see her. However, my only concern is: Is it possible that she was arrested, and a police officer is now running her email? We never discussed any services other than outfit requests and date/time via email, so am I safe? If I get there, it'll be pretty obvious if she answers the door or someone else, so I can ascertain that before I drop off an envelope or discuss any services.
This behavior seems unusual, the only reason I could imagine would be if she got arrested, went on some kind of a binge, or had some other personal emergency. It's just unusual that such a thing would crop up between 8 am and 2pm on a Saturday.
Would you see this provider?
...her apology included a reasonable explanation. You didn't mention if she explained what and why. Without some explanation I could believe I'm not going back. This has nothing to do with the possibility of LE now being involved. Her not showing and not contacting you for a day and a half is unacceptable.
Just "Sorry about yesterday"
...Find one that can respect your time and effort by being on time. There are plenty of them out there.
Even if you had not waited long (that's on you)... you are out the time & trouble to get there & back. NSNC is never acceptable, in either direction. She should have been responsible enough to cancel. As it would have been a last minute cancelation, it would be nice for her to offer to make it up to you. Extra time would at least be a gesture.
If you wanrt to see her, go ahead & reschedule but what makes you think she'll actually answer the door this time?
There is one that left me hanging... I really wanted to see her... but she is on my DNS list now. I wouldn't see her even if it was FREE!. Opportunities are sometimes hard to arrange... I wasted one on her, I'll not waste another.
I would never reschedule with a NSNC. There are dozens of providers out here who will respect your time and has the decency to call if she can.t make it.
Running 30 to 90 minutes behind on a regular basis shows a lack of professionalism and respect for her customers but it sounds like her guys think she's worth waiting for. If you really want to see her and you don't mind waiting or possibly getting stood up again, I think it's safe to take her up on her offer to reschedule without worrying about LE.
unacceptable and smacks of an entitlement mentality. Sounds like too many guys are putting up with that shit and she's gotten a big head on herself. My time is valuable and it's usually fairly complicated for me to safely set up an appointment. A provider who showed that little regard for me would earn a permanent spot on my DNS list...as would any service provider, from auto mechanic to attorney, who telegraphed so clearly how little he or she cared about me as a client.
Whether or not LE is involved this time goes beyond anybody's guess. But it is important to listen to your gut. So my advice is that whenever you get an uneasy feeling about how the setup is going, pay attention to the feeling and react accordingly. As time goes by, your gut-feelings will "grow in wisdom," to put it poetically, if you always trust them.
offered you a "special" since she NCNS last time? If not, I would pass. Why would you take the chance of another NCNS without any possible compensation for the time you wasted waiting for her to show.
...she might have flaked, or maybe gotten a better offer. I wouldn't automatically go assuming that she was turned...but since your head is already in that kind of paranoid place, I'd move on to someone else. Plenty 'o fishies in the sea.
Would you come back to a restaurant that made you wait that long for your food? Unless she was kidnapped by the aliens or has a valid excuse it just shows an extremely bad character flaw on her..I personally feel that girls do it because guys will continue to validate that behavior by trying to reschedule again..
It would be like ordering, then never being able to get your waiter's attention again - and the food never arrives.
Eventually, the clean-up staff kicks your sad forlorn ass out of the darkened restaurant into the street - eliminating that last pathetic shred of hope that you foolishly held onto that you might actually get a decent meal that evening. With all restaurants closed, you are now left to either the Taco Bell drive thru - or dumpster diving.
It's a bit more like that.
;o)
This was blatant disrespect.
I wouldn't WANT to be with a lady who treats people like that.
Now if you don't feel that way, and if you could go into a second attempt with her with the same clean-slate feeling you had before - then maybe it could work out for you. BUT, you'd have to be prepared for the possibility of the same thing happening again.
For newbies - and this wasn't that long ago for me, so I can really relate - it is easy to get too fixated on certain ladies (IMO because in our fantasy lives we can afford to do that, whether it be porn, or lusting after a co-worker, etc. - no downside in the fantasy world to this). In the hobby world, you are dealing with real people - and there are soooo many great ladies out there. Respect yourself, and if treated poorly, just move along to the next sexy lady on your list and never look back. Mind you, I'm not saying you never give a lady a second a chance. If she seems truly remorseful and provides an explanation, sure - but this doesn't seem to be the case here AND it sounds like she is a repeat offender.
If the situation had been reversed how would she have reacted to your disappearance? Yeah, life can get in the way sometimes and can be excused if out of character. But if she has a reputation for this, then the blame partly resides on every guy who waited to see her, or who rescheduled for a makeup visit - just shouldn't reward bad behavior!
I know your libido is trying to drive the discussion for you right now, but instead of fighting a losing battle just let it focus on another top ranked provider and chalk this one up to fate. It's not like you had sex with every girl your dick fell in lust with, so even in P4P there's no reason to chase a lopsided relationship.
Even though I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and not to question their behavior, especially when trying to come up with an excuse, I would not reschedule in this case. Most all of us go through a lot of planning to set up an encounter; and that goes for both sides. For her or us not to respect this, speaks a bit to our overall understanding or character.
And if you WERE to perhaps reschedule, would you not spend hours if not days wondering if she will show up this time? Even if you get a text from her the morning of, to confirm, you still will have that lingering doubt in the back of your mind and won't know for sure until you see her arrive. In my mind, that kills the anticipation of an encounter and things have already started out on the wrong foot because of that.
I have been fortunate enough to recently know a gal whom I KNOW will show up on time, even though our plans are made well in advance and the logistics are not that easy for either of us. To me, that means a lot.
The first thing you must learn is NEVER NEVER NEVER wait 90 minutes for a session. I know ladies can run late, but 90 minutes is beyond ridiculous. Heck, keeping you waiting 30 minutes is way too long. Think about it. If you were 30 minutes late for a business meeting or doctors appointment, in most cases that appointment would have to be re-scheduled. Life waits for no one. Sitting around for 90 minutes is a complete waste of your time; no matter how much you want to get laid. The longest I would recommend sitting at a location waiting to hear from the lady with the specific information is prob. 10- 15 minutes. If there has been no communication from her up to that point, (i.e. to tell you she is running late) then leave. You'd be perfectly justified in doing so.
Second, though I don't think this is the case here, do not think for ONE SECOND that if she has turned to the dark side (namely working with the police) that you'd be able to figure this out when you got there and avoid the sting. If its a set up, they will arrest you no matter how little you say or what you do. (Now whether the charges stick is another matter entirely). Don't be naïve.
I wouldn't waste my energy trying to set up another appointment with this woman. It is really hard to fathom that a lady who is ON AVERAGE 30-90 minutes late for her appointments has pages and pages of positive reviews. But It is an unacceptable way to run her business and it shows a complete disregard for her client's time.
-- Modified on 12/10/2014 6:59:54 AM