Newbie - FAQ

Re: its not your fault.......
Unloved 8 Reviews 279 reads
posted

Well I had a chance tonite to take your advice and the advice of others who have responded.  I booked a last minute session with a wonderful woman/provider.  

Anyway I was so excited to see Her because we have a connection based on past visits and we "get eachother".  Normally I would anticipate having a great orgasm before I even get to the appointment.  And I was a little worried today.

But I decided this time to focus on the experience.  I knew this woman is relaxed around me and vice versa.  So I basked in the moment.  I enjoyed her conversation, her company, the candles she lit, and I enjoyed her body.  I took in all her curves and the smoothness of her skin as well as the little idiosyncrocies we all have personally and physically.  I tooky time and slowly pleasured her and she returned the favor.

When we had sex, I savored every sensation, sound, sight, and it was incredible!!  Not only did I enjoy the sex more - she did too!!  I no longer focused on whether or not I was going to climax but just made love to her.

I didn't pound away like mad but slowly the both of us enjoyed eachothers sensations.

In the end I had to finish myself by hand... She helped by caressing and licking and being supportive.  I had a really TINY orgasm.. But it was still an orgasm.  Then she kept tenderly caressing by cock for several minutes.  Again I took in all the wonderful sensations.

Mind you I warned her that I have had difficulty lately coming.  And that helped I think.  I also told her how enjoyable the experience was -  it was probably one of the most enjoyable times I've had so far in my recent sexual journey.

I've missed out on living in the moment in the past I think...  

Funny thing is it took the people on TER and a provider to get me to realize that!!  I'm learning it's not always about the O!  When you focus on all the sensations on the journey- it's an incredible journey!!  

Thanks for the help and support!!
And yeah I've goto change the handle-  I know I'm loved;)

Can't wait until the next adventure ;)!!!

Not too long ago I was with a wonderful provider and had an amazing session.  This woman was beautiful, great personality, and we connected on an emotional level in a way that was more than just physical.  No.. There are no fantasies about IRL relationship here, we just really enjoyed eachother in the moment.  

The sex was incredible, almost like we could not get enough of eachother.  She had a shuddering O, several actually.  I could feel her body tremble.  And she was "spent".  She was determined to return the favor, but I just could not emasculate.

I could not believe it.  Here is this gorgeous woman bent on pleasingly and I could not come.  She tried every trick inncluding prostate massage and even allowed anal penetration (I had not requested it).  I eventually told her "it's ok".  But she very deliberately and sternly said "no.... We keep trying!!!"  I mean I had already gone over my time and we spent an extra 30 minutes just trying.  The positions we tried would have made me come in 30 seconds normally.  

Finally I told her "no worries ".. "It's ok".  She seemed sad.  She really felt bad.  I stressed to her it was me.  I told her how beautiful she was and she treated me well and she was a wonderful person, but I just can't come.

This is really bothering me for several reasons... First, I want to come!!!! Damn it it feels good!!!  And I've had some delayed ejaculation issues and it recurs every once in awhile.

Thevother reason is that this provider really felt like she did not do a good job.  I think she felt guilty because she said she has 3 orgasms and I did not have any.  Yet the entire experience was incredibly sensual.

So I guess there are several questions:  have any providers experienced this and am I putting too much emphasis on needing to have an orgasm?  And to the guys out there... How have you dealt with this, for those that had or have this issue?

I'm on BP meds and after losing 30 lbs I'm in the process of coming off of them.  Plus I started testosterone because my levels were low.  But I'm not on psych meds or anything that may kill the libido.

I'm quite distraught over this.  I appreciate any advice.

Unloved

Otaktay563 reads

Due to my recovery from Alcoholism and meds I'm on I have issues reaching climax. I've had providers feel that I wasn't attracted to them or that I thought they couldn't satisfy me. It took a lot of explaining, but the ones that I really liked did get it. Others did not. It all depends on the provider I guess.

i decied if going to cum my pants i should go not so hot providers that delays it some.

Changes in medication will really fuck with your bodys sexual chemistry so its normal to have issues with ejaculation until it normalizes.

The best way to cum is to get into the position you normally masturbate it and go at it. It tricks your brain into thinking you are comfortable at home jerking it so you can come easier. So for example if you always masturbate in bed then make sure when you want to come you are in the same position.

Wasn't sure if there were any supplements that anyone has found to be beneficial with this

a mental block of some kind.

I'm in the same boat as you with one of my favorites whom I've seen several times and always enjoyed.  But on an overnight no matter how long she tried I just couldn't pop.  Erect for hours with no release and I finally asked for a break.  We tried again several times and every time I'd get to the edge and just hang there - my mind was in the way.  I don't do drugs, smoke, or take meds, and was well rested and hydrated.  After getting home I cranked one out manually that seemingly took forever, but since then have never had an issue with someone.

Only thing different on this date was the location - my first outcall.  Perhaps that's what tripped me up?  Who knows, but my brain was close to getting a sharp stick in the ear!  She did everything that normally works for me, and I'm not complicated: Foreplay+BJ+Sex=O.  Can switch up the order, double up on anything and it'll still equal an O, but just not on this occasion.  She felt really bad, and I certainly remember the look of confusion and eventual distress on her face - but it was NOT her.

The brain is a weird thing, someday we might understand it.  In the meantime we'll just struggle through life best we can and hope it will relax enough to get our rocks off.  But from now on I'm staying with incalls!

my hubby is also on BP meds and  Tes, and it does affect him as well, he can usually cum about 5 times out of ten, i dont have issue with it, but at times he does, of course hes more concerned with ME coming anymore than he is himself, so dont take it to hard, its an issue with the medication, and if you take viagra it can be even harder ( se what i did there) to come,  jsut continue to enjoy the sensations of whatever she is doing to you, and when you have had enough, just stop, once you have a build up, you will pop, in a big way, oh and change your handle, its way to sad, we are all loved in one way or another.

Posted By: Unloved
Not too long ago I was with a wonderful provider and had an amazing session.  This woman was beautiful, great personality, and we connected on an emotional level in a way that was more than just physical.  No.. There are no fantasies about IRL relationship here, we just really enjoyed eachother in the moment.    
   
 The sex was incredible, almost like we could not get enough of eachother.  She had a shuddering O, several actually.  I could feel her body tremble.  And she was "spent".  She was determined to return the favor, but I just could not emasculate.  
   
 I could not believe it.  Here is this gorgeous woman bent on pleasingly and I could not come.  She tried every trick inncluding prostate massage and even allowed anal penetration (I had not requested it).  I eventually told her "it's ok".  But she very deliberately and sternly said "no.... We keep trying!!!"  I mean I had already gone over my time and we spent an extra 30 minutes just trying.  The positions we tried would have made me come in 30 seconds normally.    
   
 Finally I told her "no worries ".. "It's ok".  She seemed sad.  She really felt bad.  I stressed to her it was me.  I told her how beautiful she was and she treated me well and she was a wonderful person, but I just can't come.  
   
 This is really bothering me for several reasons... First, I want to come!!!! Damn it it feels good!!!  And I've had some delayed ejaculation issues and it recurs every once in awhile.  
   
 Thevother reason is that this provider really felt like she did not do a good job.  I think she felt guilty because she said she has 3 orgasms and I did not have any.  Yet the entire experience was incredibly sensual.  
   
 So I guess there are several questions:  have any providers experienced this and am I putting too much emphasis on needing to have an orgasm?  And to the guys out there... How have you dealt with this, for those that had or have this issue?  
   
 I'm on BP meds and after losing 30 lbs I'm in the process of coming off of them.  Plus I started testosterone because my levels were low.  But I'm not on psych meds or anything that may kill the libido.  
   
 I'm quite distraught over this.  I appreciate any advice.  
   
 Unloved

Well I had a chance tonite to take your advice and the advice of others who have responded.  I booked a last minute session with a wonderful woman/provider.  

Anyway I was so excited to see Her because we have a connection based on past visits and we "get eachother".  Normally I would anticipate having a great orgasm before I even get to the appointment.  And I was a little worried today.

But I decided this time to focus on the experience.  I knew this woman is relaxed around me and vice versa.  So I basked in the moment.  I enjoyed her conversation, her company, the candles she lit, and I enjoyed her body.  I took in all her curves and the smoothness of her skin as well as the little idiosyncrocies we all have personally and physically.  I tooky time and slowly pleasured her and she returned the favor.

When we had sex, I savored every sensation, sound, sight, and it was incredible!!  Not only did I enjoy the sex more - she did too!!  I no longer focused on whether or not I was going to climax but just made love to her.

I didn't pound away like mad but slowly the both of us enjoyed eachothers sensations.

In the end I had to finish myself by hand... She helped by caressing and licking and being supportive.  I had a really TINY orgasm.. But it was still an orgasm.  Then she kept tenderly caressing by cock for several minutes.  Again I took in all the wonderful sensations.

Mind you I warned her that I have had difficulty lately coming.  And that helped I think.  I also told her how enjoyable the experience was -  it was probably one of the most enjoyable times I've had so far in my recent sexual journey.

I've missed out on living in the moment in the past I think...  

Funny thing is it took the people on TER and a provider to get me to realize that!!  I'm learning it's not always about the O!  When you focus on all the sensations on the journey- it's an incredible journey!!  

Thanks for the help and support!!
And yeah I've goto change the handle-  I know I'm loved;)

Can't wait until the next adventure ;)!!!

and your body needs to be well-rested and hydrated.  Depending on your age, you might want to stop choking the chicken a week or so before a scheduled encounter.

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