In many instances you will be seen as a timewaster and the conversation will be brief and stern. Early on I used to chat with potentials, enough of them wasted my time so I no longer spend any significant amount of time on the phone with anyone, regardless of text or call. You'll be missing out on some really good options trying to go at it this way. Sorry to say, but a few do really ruin it for the bunch!
Over the past few years I've occasionally indulged in the hobby. It hasn't been as often as I'd like because some key info isn't available and from what I'm told, I'm not supposed to ask. So here's what I'm always looking for but can't find, and don't know how to ask:
1) Review - well if they don't exist there's nothing that can be done
2) Rate - A lot of providers don't post their rates anymore. Is it okay to straight out ask this because it is obviously very necessary to know before proceeding.
3) A very important aspect to me is kissing, and from my experience it's something most providers won't do. It DFK is out than so I am. I'm not supposed to mention any specific acts, but is a dealbreaker for me, so how can I find out?
On another matter that isn't terribly relevant but I am curious about, why are providers so cautious about talking on the phone? A person can say anything they want on the phone (with the exception of threatening the life of the president) without incurring the tiniest amount of trouble. Is there a misapprehension that saying something over the phone is tantamount to a confession or admission of a crime? While the reason behind this is only my curiousity, how to handle it would very useful information. Maybe a lot of hobbyists just take their chances saying what they like, but I can't help my strong inclination to respect the wishes of others.
One final thing. If an ad does not specific any kind of hours available, is it best to assume that means 24/7 or regular day and evening hours? I'm a night owl but realize not everyone is and I'd hate to wake someone because I know how much I hate it.
Appreciate any advice, so thank you in advance
you should only see well-reviewed ladies.
1) Review - If the provider you are interested in seeing doesn't have any reviews, find someone else to see.
2) Rate - If a provider's website doesn't show rates, then you can defer to the rate listed in her TER profile. When confirming a date, you could say "according to your TER profile, you donation is $x.
3) With TER VIP, you can read the details in a provider's reviews. You can also PM some of the reviewers to confirm if she kisses, does DFK, etc.
Play safe.
1) If they don't have reviews you can try posting an inquiry on the boards about her or try back channeling with the pm system if you have VIP status (which you really should if your serious about this )
But honestly your safer and better off just seeking out well reviewed girls unless your feeling adventurous or have a high tolerance for risk .
2) I don't know if your just hanging out on backpage but must legit well reviewed ladies have there rates posted on there websites or on P411 if your a member
3) Look I'm not trying to be rude but once again I think this is either coming down to the quality of ladies your seeing or something your doing wrong . I'd say about 99% of ladies I've been with have been willing to kiss .
As long as your clean , well behaved , your hygiene is squared away and your seeing the right ladies this shouldn't be that much of a problem . Once again if you have VIP you should have a general idea of what they offer . It's not always 100% . YMMV will always play a part in this but usually that comes down to either hygiene issues or chemistry .
As far as the phone , that is a safety issue . Must women aren't going to discuss graphic details on the phone especially not with some one they have never seen before . That is for both you and her safety .
Once again VIP status and seeing well reviewed providers should solve must of these problems . I wish you luck
Thank you for your reply. You were not even remotely rude though your responses are mostly predicated on having VIP access. I would subscribe but if I recall correctly it is extremely expensive! This isn't so much a hobby to me as it is something I very much enjoy but only seldomly. That being the case, it's only natural I seek an idea experience. I used to to think GFE meant DFK includes, but I've learned that GFE is a relative term, and sometimes is just used in an ad to attract people. It's not at all the every provider I've seen doesn't offer DFK, it's that some haven't, so it's something I want to be sure of in the future.
In almost all of my experiences I have made sure to have verified some details to ensure the provider is legitimate, which most often does in fact some in the form of a review. I have passed up some extremely desirable possibilities in the name of safety.
I have been reading the forums and it seems like everyone's opinion could not be any lower about backpages. While I agree with much of what is said, most other sites are not much different. They may just be better at hiding it, or look much more legitimate. A tremendous number of providers show links to backpages in addition to their own sites. Still, what don't I know about BP?
The main question still remains. When on the phone with a provider, is it acceptable to ask about the rate, and to ask if they provide DFK? The rate is typically in the listing, but not always. As for the DFK, my experience has been that some providers do and some don't. It hasn't been related to hygiene or chemistry, but just their personal policy.
Thank you for your input.
All I can say is a yearly membership to erotic review is roughly $225 a year when you buy the yearly membership option and another $ 125 for a year of P411 . That's less then a 1 or 2 hour session with a good provider and it would solve most of your questions .If your really trying to save some money you can get a membership for one or two months and write some reviews to get more time .
Personally I just buy the membership but I really should just break down and write some reviews one of these days . More people seem to be willing to answer your pm's when you have a few reviews under your belt but I still found a lot of helpful people here when I back channel .
At the end of the day the small investment I've made between the two sites have paid for themselves 10x over .
...it could make her think you are LE attempting to catch her discussing money for sex. If you just ask about donation and don't mention anything about sex many will say that's ok but some ladies don't want any discussion of money on set up. I won't see providers that don't have donations listed.
I agree with another poster about you're needing VIP membership. Her reviews and profile will answer your questions. Look into joining P411 as well.
First, agree with the other posters that VIP here is a good resource. You could always sign up for one month with a prepaid card and cancel after doing some research (or post a review or two of your own).
Kissing will always be a YMMV area, regardless of price range or advertised services. It's obviously one of the most intimate parts of the experience, so if the provider is not comfortable with you or tentative then she will be more reserved. I'm assuming you know the basics of hygiene, so hopefully that's not the issue. All that being said, I'm a little surprised you say 'most' won't do it. I wouldn't ask about it ahead of time, but once you're behind closed doors I wouldn't be afraid to let her know you'd like it. Some girls do hold back in case its not something the client wants to do.
Rates should not be a mystery - they obviously are the key part of this whole thing. At some point in the pre-session communication she has to tell you or direct you somewhere you can see them. If they're putting you in a position where you have to ask, do it as indirectly as possible - 'Is there somewhere I can see your requested donations?' or 'I'd like to spend an hour with you, what should I bring?' - rather than just a blatant 'How much?' I'm also sometimes confused as to how many providers seem more comfortable these days with the paper trail left with email/text/etc and refuse to discuss things on the phone.
Finally - yes, there's a definite bias here against Backpage - the reality is a little more balanced. In some of the markets it is still a good place to find mid-priced independents who don't want all the overhead of agencies, screening services, etc. Most legitimate independents there have accumulated at least a few reviews. With a little common sense, you can filter out the obvious fake pics, pimped out young girls, and scammers. BP is also where LE stings are most set up these days, but you can pretty easily avoid those by knowing your market and checking for reviews.
I'm a newbie at least to this level of the hobby. living in a smaller market,I can't ignore bp,but it requires research. Street smarts go a long way. Learn about your local area and track the ads you see. Cross check phone numbers and pictures and learn how to research arests. Still I get put off if a provider won't talk on the phone. I called a woman, after getting her number from a site linked to her reviews here. She listed her,rates and a phone number with the best time to call. So I called from my real land line introduced myself and she was just as cold as could be. First she was skepitcal of how I got her number and then when I answered that she just told me to fill out a form on her site. I did not mention acts or money,just ter,and then only in response to her question. I don't want to give my information without talking to the woman first. I want to see how we interact and I want to tell her about myself. I'm looking for a vibe.
In many instances you will be seen as a timewaster and the conversation will be brief and stern. Early on I used to chat with potentials, enough of them wasted my time so I no longer spend any significant amount of time on the phone with anyone, regardless of text or call. You'll be missing out on some really good options trying to go at it this way. Sorry to say, but a few do really ruin it for the bunch!