I've entered the jet stream again after end of marriage. A life so complicated I would like to spend some time with a beautiful woman, and then be able to go back to the chaos elsewhere in my world with no carry over or maintenance. Yet since I don't know this world at all I don't know how to go about it ...don't want to get taken advantage of... To the point that I then talk myself out of having a fine companion experience. How can newbies trust what they see? Anyway, any advice would be appreciated.
Much thanks,
CHL67
I'm no expert, but I have learned the first step is to click on the lil' life preserver, for very helpful, basic information.
After learning from that excellent resource(and re-reading it to this day), I felt welcome and comfortable on the "Newbie Board " whenever I had a specific question.
I know you will receive many more helpful responses, but I would like to welcome you too.
Take good care, have fun and please listen to those who share their wisdom.
:-
Learning from my mistakes... here are some tips I've used.
1) Never trust an unverified add. The girl may look hot in the pictures, but they either may not be her or they're really old. No review, then you risk getting someone that isn't who you think it is.
2) Bring your own covers. Find a brand that you like and provide your own. It does two things. Gives you piece of mind and from my experience the providers appreciate it. Plus theirs nothing worse than having one slide off because it's not right for you.
3) If you do decide to TOFTT. (And I have) play it cool. Don't mention anything specific. Just allude to company and maybe a massage. I do believe this saved me once. I don't have proof, but my instincts told me I walked into a bad situation. That leads to...
4) Trust your instincts if they tell you a situation is bad. I don't care what it is. Even if you end up just talking to the provider for your allotted time getting to know her and nothing else. Or if you go someplace and the vibe is horrible, call and cancel. I give more leeway to reviewed providers where I see they don't have a history of robbing clients. But if I don't like the location or something about the provider makes me really uncomfortable, I've learned the hard way to protect myself.
Not all gals are cool with you bringing your own, and mentioning condoms in any form of communication prior to meeting the gal could get you cut off as most gals are leery of having any mention of anything that would imply sex for money prior to actually meeting you, for security reasons. (This is all discussed in the Newbie/Self Manual referred to in a previous post.)
If you do being your own condoms, do be sure that they are in their sealed original carton.
If you see well reviewed gals, you should not experience any problems of drama, as you seem to be concerned with.
What you do have to watch is your own emotions. It is very easy to get over-involved with some gals. It's just part of the whole hobby saga.
I don't mention them, I just bring them with. They're name brand and I've not had an issue yet. I've had more of an issue with a provider having condoms I don't like. So far my experience has been as long as you just bring them with, none are upset and some are even thankful that I thought of it. I NEVER discuss anything with a provider in advance other than wanting to get together with them for some company.
and I've never brought the whole box, but rather 3 or 4 lose ones.
This has never been a problem for me in 2 years.
This topic has come up before on this board, so I know there are some providers out there who will want a sealed container - BUT, I have yet to encounter such a lady yet myself, so they are most definitely the exception and not the rule
you have seen are all from BP with going rates below market value. This mode of operation will sooner or later get you a pair of silver braclets. Sure they at least one review, but . . .
I always bring a few condoms, but never in a sealed box. That never occurred to me until I read about the practice here. I've been hobbying for over 12 years. Bringing some loose condoms has never been an issue with any of the many dozens of lovely ladies I have visited. In fact, many have appreciated the courtesy. ymmv
He's explained before that he lives in an area of few quality providers. He mentioned it in this thread in his answer to inicky, and in his thread from last week. There is nothing wrong with the advice he gave here.
Not sure why most here just don't understand the faulty logic that "BP will get them arrested." Its such a load of crap.
Seeing girls that don't have reviews and not doing your homework gets guys busted. BP has nothing to do with it.
You can't expect someone brand new to this to "trust his instincts." He doesn't have any yet. Or, if he does, they're based on ignorance. What he really needs to do is do his homework: i.e. learn how to read reviews, read the Self-Help guide, etc.
Also, a noob should never, ever TOFTT. See only well-reviewed girls who have been reviewed by experienced mongers. And getting to know who to trust takes time.
I agree about the TOFTT part, but if you are in a provider scarce area like I am... many times you don't have an option. Not all of us live in large markets with an abundance of providers or the ones in the area that are reviewed are not ones you want to see.
Getting started can be nerve wracking.
Start with the Self-Help Center and read back many pages here on the newbie board.
Don't be fooled by the many beautiful pictures you'll see on Backpage or other escort ad sites. Use google image and tineye to check her photos, if they are sites all over you won't see her when the door opens. Google her phone number and read her reviews, if she has no reviews look for someone else.
Getting VIP here is an important part of doing your research and doing your research is what will keep you safe LE, ripoffs and scammers.
Joining a verification site like P411 or Date Check will make things easier for you too. P411 is my prefered way of meeting new ladies.
After you have done a lot of reading here, feel free to ask about anything you don't understand.
Much thanks,
CHL67
I, for one, am allergic to latex, so unless you just happen to prefer a non-latex condom, I need to use my own.
In addition, every well-reviewed provider (and that's the only kind a newbie should see!) should have an appropriate supply, and most ladies have an assortment of sizes, just in case she's visited by Mr.Ed.
enjoy your new journey into our sexy world!
buy with cash for cheap. Buy minutes with cash most anywhere. Cheap protection.
Do not have a provider to your house... Best to use their INcalls. That way when the door closes between you, you can be strangers again.
No Deposits. If she recieves money without doing anything, there's little incentive to actually meet. There are exceptions like extended dates, overnights, travel but best for a newbie to abvoid these.
Transact in cash.
A gal is within her rights to not use condoms you provide BUT there are no condom scams. A sealed 3 pack in good insurance. I've never had a gal refuse to use mine... I started carryingthem because a fav gal called me & asked me to pick them up... I ended up getting off the highway in an unknown location & the only product available was not my perfered type.
No Condom scam: no FS
No condom scam: she takes the donation & she'll get them from her car or hotel shop... you never see her again. I read a report from one scammed client who reclaimed the donation & gave her a $20... which she did run with...
Best advise for newbies: See well reviewed providers. Do not take their word for it. Even a TER link does not mean the reviews are good!
-- Modified on 11/18/2014 10:57:13 AM
Hey man, the newbie board is a great place to start. As others have said too, the self-help section (life preserver) is fantastic.
In addition to the good advice you've gotten already, I'd add a very strong endorsement for p411. I'm not sure how privacy-minded you are, but I'm extremely careful on that front and getting verified with p411 meant I could see women without having them know my real name or address or employer.
Also, I'll say this. For your first one, take no chances. Well reviewed, good communication. Make sure you're totally comfortable and you'll be a lot more relaxed.
1. Invest in VIP access here... Read the self help center... and read this board going back a few months... most of your questions have been asked numerous times here, so with a little effort you'll usually find the answer.
2. Invest in a verification site... Like Preferred411 or Date-Check... There are others, but these two have the biggest presence nationally.
3. Invest in a prepaid phone and create an anonymous email account. There are several options, I've had very good experiences with tracphone and hushmail.
4. Search either your verification site or TER for ladies you are attracted to, then research them thoroughly to make sure you know what you are getting into and if the lady is a good match for what you are looking for. You can also search the many ad sites, then check your verification site and/or TER, but personally, I've always found a great selection just using TER & P411.
5. Reach out to the lady of your choice and set up a play date. Again, I use P411 for this as the appointment request includes my profile and references. You'll find that once you establish your credibility here, these dates are much easier to set up.
6. Have fun and if you choose, share your experience with the rest of us.
Welcome to the playground