Newbie - FAQ

I wonder if your sample may be skewed towards lifestyle hobbyists
cocktail-party 319 reads
posted

While you're not making an uneducated guess, this is why my inclination would be to go with an experienced provider's account over yours. She's going to have seen a broader range of clients, from the dabblers and one-and-done's, to others (including married men) whose highest concern is secrecy.

I've only seen one provider but I was wondering do they assume or even care if I am married?  Is it better to keep a ring on or just take it off?  Thanks.

No, we do not generally care. There's just too much else going on, if you know what I mean, lol

Some even prefer it. Means you'll hopefully be too busy to fall in love and want to gallop off into the sunset together ;-)

I'm not and a quick review of the guys I know well in this game says only about half of them are married.  Of the married ones, two (including mrfisher) are in open, polyamorous relationships.

I'd guess that her assertion is drawn from a more extensive database than yours.

I'm also making the ASSumption that your sample size can be merged with your friends, and their friends, and... to produce the same conclusion.

GaGambler487 reads

She has reviews going back about two years. I have been whore mongering for over 40. I also have moderated a dozen different boards, have hosted several M&Gs, and have attended many, many more.

Now I don't claim to speak for Nick, but your assumption that a provider is necessarily going to have met more hobbyists than another man is a faulty. I would say that I have met several hundred in person, and most likely have conversed with thousands on the boards. Oh, did I mention I also have somewhere around 30,000 posts to my credit on TER alone, and I have also been a member of several other fuck boards as well.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but consider your bubble burst. lol


and for the record, most hookers could not care less if a guy is married, single or divorced.

Do we still divide yours by two, multiply mine by three?  

I kid. I don't keep track. I would be willing to bet that the average provider will have met wayyyy more hobbyists than the average guy. Knowingly, at least ;-)

Now the important thing: did you find more or less of them to be married

GaGambler375 reads

but we aren't all average, now are we?

and yes, I do agree that the majority of men that patronize providers are indeed married. I wouldn't say that the percentage is quite as high as some people think, but yes it is by a pretty good margin.

FWIW, I am happily divorced and I am not cheating on anyone as I don't like to make promises that I can't keep, so I rarely make promises as unrealistic as me staying faithful for any extended period of time. I do occasionally get into committed relationships during which I quit my whore mongering, but aside from a five year marriage they rarely last for more than a few months at a time, I guess it must be a character flaw of mine. lol

And I would agree. We are all weirdos. Some of us just embrace it

GaGambler362 reads

And my opinion is the only one that counts where it comes to my life. I do like talking to like minded people though:)

While I can respect your depth of experience, you don't say anything to refute my assumption beyond rehashing your credentials in this field. As per your response to Charlotte, my statement that a provider has engaged with way more hobbyists than a hobbyist holds true as a general statement. If you read my statement as a specific comparison between Nicky and Charlotte, I'd still argue that she's encountered a wider breadth and quantity of hobbyists than he, and so she would be in a better position to make a generalization about the clientele.  

If you have some contrary insight, I'd be happy to hear it.

I have a "core group" of about 30 fairly close friends in this game and I know another couple of dozen more casually from having met them at many M&Gs.  Beyond that, I've run into dozens in Costa Rica.  While I'm not quizzing them all on their marital status, when you're sitting around at bars checking out Chicas, things come up in conversation.  So my guess of 50% is from a sample of at least 100 or so.  Many of them have either never married or, like me, are now divorced.
The lady has about 70 reviews and no doubt has seen at least twice that many guys.  So I'll be we're not that far apart on "databases."
So, yes, I'll stick with my educated guess.

Are single guys more likely to go to a meet and greet?  

I always kind of figured they would just because what if you meet someone who knows you're married, but never having gone to any of the bigger advertised ones, I'm just guessing.  

Random thoughts in Charlottes day, lol

But there's no reason why being married would be more of an impediment in deciding to go.  You have to pass screening to get an invitation to an M&G just like you would to see a hooker.  So if you have the time, it's just as easy to go if you're married.  The only risk is if you run across another monger who knows you IRL.  I've heard of it happening but never of anything bad coming from it

While you're not making an uneducated guess, this is why my inclination would be to go with an experienced provider's account over yours. She's going to have seen a broader range of clients, from the dabblers and one-and-done's, to others (including married men) whose highest concern is secrecy.

Lots of guys will lie to hookers about their marital status (one reason why they take off their wedding rings). They are much less likely to lie to me.

When I first started hobbying,  I was very uncomfortable about wearing a wedding ring and would always take it off and put it with my loose change in my pocket.  Over time, as I became more at ease with myself in a hobby context, I realized that the risk of taking it off and losing it was far greater than any imagined consequence of my keeping it on.  Why hide what my date already assumes? I never take the ring off anymore  (I am not in a profession where I have to) and I do not think that anyone minds.

They always ask me why I'm single. They I tell them I have a GF.

whether or not we are married.  I have NEVER seen a provider who is judgmental of my marital status or behavior, nor do I judge their choices.   And that is partly (actually, a big part) of what makes our arrangements in this hobby so wonderful!

 I think that judging someone's moral behavior is a terrible thing to do.  First of all it's not our business, secondly none of us are really qualified to be that judge; and practically, it is usually counter productive to whatever reasons we may have for doing so.  

No matter how well we think we may know someone,  we have never ever "walked" in their shoes.

-- Modified on 11/13/2014 2:37:32 PM

-- Modified on 11/13/2014 2:38:46 PM

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