because TER policy is that unless you actually meet the provider in question, you can not review.
You can out them on your local board however.
Are you careful not to say anything that could spook a provider into not wanting to see you, like discussing sex activities for money?
It is especially odd when you already know the provider, thought this has also happened to me in two cases.
Or there's a chance you've been added to a black list site. Not sure what to do about that however.
Two times in the past month I have had providers fail to show, and fail to call/email, for FBSM appointments that I had made with them. In one case, it was with a provider I had seen before and the appointment was at her office. In neither case was the provider one which had reviews that I could find on this site or others.
I know that the rational, mature response is to move on and chalk it up to experience, with lessons learned. But a small, insecure part of me wants to contact them to understand what happened and if it had anything to do with me. An even smaller, angry side of me wants to post a "review" to warn others.
Thoughts?
It's best to find another Provider. No use trying to find out why these Providers cancelled out on you. Maybe something unexpected got to them preventing these Providers from seeing you. There are too many other Providers willing to take the place of those that NCNS. I have my ATF for my playtime needs. But I also have my plan B for those times my ATF isn't available.
because TER policy is that unless you actually meet the provider in question, you can not review.
You can out them on your local board however.
Are you careful not to say anything that could spook a provider into not wanting to see you, like discussing sex activities for money?
It is especially odd when you already know the provider, thought this has also happened to me in two cases.
Or there's a chance you've been added to a black list site. Not sure what to do about that however.
tell you to move on. One question, where did you find these providers? And did you research them by checking pictures, phone numbers, etc.
Like has been said, you cannot review either of them, but you can do what I did when I got a NCNS. I told the story on my local regional board, on the reviewers only board, and on this board. I did not name her publicly, but told them to PM me and I would give them her name. BTW, she did have a lot of reviews here.
Swim
IMO not naming names is just going to get you labeled as a drama queen, and MANY posters are going to take you to task for making yet another post about NCNS, but not having the guts to actually call her out by name for her bad behavior.
If you have any doubts about this, simply do a message search on any regional board on "NCNS" you will find hundreds of them, and in most of them where the poster did not "name names" you will find someone (oftentimes myself) taking the poster to task for whining about NCNS without really doing anything about it.
So IMHO out the bitch/es I hate NCNS, it shows a complete lack of respect for the other person. I don't put up with it in any other business, why should we put up with it here?
and yes, I fully support the rights of the ladies to share NCNS information about us, this is a two way street. Guys do this at least as often as the ladies do and they shouldn't have to put up with it either.
you mean by back channel, right
I mean that since you can't post a review, the only way to discourage this type of behavior is to name offender by name publicly for all to see. IOW the post should read like this "Suzyrottencrotch timewaster NCNS'd me yesterday" followed by "Hey Suzy, here is your opportunity to tell me in public what happened to you yesterday, because you sure as hell haven't explained why you stood me up without so much as a two word text privately"
Yes, you are damned right that I believe NCNS providers should be called out publicly, and it's been done before, with a few success stories I might add.
You can also make a post that reads more like this if you prefer "I was stood up by a provider yesterday, she obviously knows who she is. I sincerely hope she is ok and I will wait until tomorrow to name her publicly. If I have heard nothing by tomorrow I will post her name here on this board as a warning to her prospective customers as I don't like having my time wasted. If however anyone would like to know who she is right now, please feel free to PM me for the info."
As long as we put up with bad behavior people will have no incentive to change. In the interest of fair play, I fully support the ladies right to take the same steps to ensure that their time is not wasted either. This is not an "Us against them" situation, this is a "considerate people unite" type of situation IMO
but I do part ways with you here.
Too many newbs don't know the downside of "naming names". Obviously the girl in question will find out he did it, she can deny it, her WK come flying out to defend her and voila!...the very thing you are warning against (people on his regional board taking him to task) will happen.
Also remember, most are not black mail proof like you and many have given up their real name and possibly their employer info as well. I don't need to tell you how many BSC girls are in this biz and it only takes one to ruin this dudes life.
So it really depends on how much risk the guy can afford to take and how much shit he is willing to get hit with from the WK's. But newbs generally don't have the experience to know the risks.
The best approach, imho, is to state a NCNS on the regional board and then ask to be pm'd for the name. That will give the guy a greater degree of protection while still informing those who really want to know
But if the guy posting anything about a NCNS on the regional board, she'll know he's back channeling about her and can do the whole blackmail thing anyway.
I see both yours and Gambler's points and both have merit. This type of behavior shouldn't go unchecked on that ya'll both agree and rightly so.
Steph xoxo
-- Modified on 11/12/2014 1:28:45 PM
is be more specific regarding my "announcement". I would attempt contact the provider by email and by text and say something like "if I don't hear back from you by 7pm on Thursday of this week, I will post your name for all to see. I sincerely hope you are OK but my time is valuable too." IMHO, using "tomorrow" is too vague.
until someone starts standing up to review fraud, manipulation, NCNS, etc. None of this behavior is ever going to change. If we don't name names, what good is this site, we might as well tell the noobs not to write bad reviews, even when the service sucks because the provider MIGHT go BSC on him.
you would give a newbie that advice? Honestly?
Look, I would love to see NCNS stamped out but it happens SO infrequently to me it isn't worth all that it is being made out to be.
There is a way to inform guys and that is by bc. We tell newbs it is important to get VIP and one of those reasons is to share info bc, is it not?
If a girl is a NCNS queen, that will most likely be discovered by pm'ing her reviewers or by placing a post on his RB and people bc the poster for the girls name and take care of it that way.
Its easy for guys on here who don't give out there personal info to say "man up and out the girl." You guys don't have to live with the consequences of those actions
I've seen it happen on several occasions, that when the lady does, she has a valid reason AND that the guy posting it didn't tell the whole story. I've actually seen it give the lady more cred and showed the guy to be not telling the truth.
Steph
-- Modified on 11/12/2014 1:16:33 PM
I didn't name her publicly because I didn't know how she would react, nor did I want to have to deal with any WK's coming to her defense. However, from what I've seen, she rarely, if ever comes on this site. At least I've never seen a post by her or an ad. She does post ads on BP, although not recently.
Swim
you hit your head when you dive in. LOL.
If you are going to see unreviewed girls, you give up your right to bitch about it, imo.
See reviewed girls going forward and move on with your life. Let those girls be and let go of the anger.
P4p should be stress relieving, not stress inducing.
Thanks, all, for the advice. I agree that just moving on is the right call. Live and learn.