Hello everyone--I'm a band-newbie. So far I've had 3 unsuccessful attempt to book an appointment. On all three--the provider (or agency) in the 11th hour asked for some additional screening information that I wasn't comfortable with.
First: I'm P411 employment verified. I realize this isn't BULLETPROOF, but as a newbie I understand its a good first step. Second: I've reached out only to providers that advertise as 'Newbie Friendly' (and that are well reviewed. So far I've reached out three times: 1. Via an agency. They checked P411 verificaiton info, said I'm good to go, then the day of the apt they asked for my full name. I said 'no thanks'. 2. Emailed a provider, was immediately asked for a photo (I had posted about this incident earlier). Again--no thanks. 3. Had another appointment setup with a VERY well reviewed provider. Checked my P411 info, initially said 'good to go' then, hours before the appointment she wanted a copy of my business card BEFORE the appointment. On this particular one, the provider is SO well reviewed and has such a good reputation I probably could have given this info--but just wasn't comfortable with it. (I proposed a pre-screen or some other method, but she seemingly got offended and ended the dialoge.) So.... what am I doing wrong? Is there SOME level of additional screening providers will expect from someone with no references like myself? What SHOULD and SHOULDNT I provide when asked for additional verification info. Thanks all.
There are plenty of women that will see you without all the BS. You're on P411, that should be good enough. If they tell you otherwise, tell them to pound sand, or be prepared to live with the consequences.
There are plenty of women that will see you without all the BS. You're on P411, that should be good enough. If they tell you otherwise, tell them to pound sand, or be prepared to live with the consequences.
I disagree with the rude ("pound sand") part. Just say no thanks and move on. After a couple of months, with a bunch of reviews and approvals, you might be in a better position to meet these ladies w/o jumping through hoops. And just being polite isn't such a bad thing anyway
Tell me who you want to fuck and I'm willing to get I can find more than a few on my play phone contacts that meets your need. Assuming you like them under 30. WTF, anyone give their personal information to stranger just to have to get paid to get laid is beyond me. Think jail time for you, if the provider ever gets caught.
Posted By: dxi2015
Hello everyone--I'm a band-newbie. So far I've had 3 unsuccessful attempt to book an appointment. On all three--the provider (or agency) in the 11th hour asked for some additional screening information that I wasn't comfortable with.
First: I'm P411 employment verified. I realize this isn't BULLETPROOF, but as a newbie I understand its a good first step. Second: I've reached out only to providers that advertise as 'Newbie Friendly' (and that are well reviewed.
So far I've reached out three times:
1. Via an agency. They checked P411 verificaiton info, said I'm good to go, then the day of the apt they asked for my full name. I said 'no thanks'.
2. Emailed a provider, was immediately asked for a photo (I had posted about this incident earlier). Again--no thanks.
3. Had another appointment setup with a VERY well reviewed provider. Checked my P411 info, initially said 'good to go' then, hours before the appointment she wanted a copy of my business card BEFORE the appointment. On this particular one, the provider is SO well reviewed and has such a good reputation I probably could have given this info--but just wasn't comfortable with it. (I proposed a pre-screen or some other method, but she seemingly got offended and ended the dialoge.)
So.... what am I doing wrong? Is there SOME level of additional screening providers will expect from someone with no references like myself? What SHOULD and SHOULDNT I provide when asked for additional verification info.
Tell me who you want to fuck and I'm willing to get I can find more than a few on my play phone contacts that meets your need. Assuming you like them under 30. WTF, anyone give their personal information to stranger just to have to get paid to get laid is beyond me. Think jail time for you, if the provider ever gets caught.
Posted By: dxi2015
Hello everyone--I'm a band-newbie. So far I've had 3 unsuccessful attempt to book an appointment. On all three--the provider (or agency) in the 11th hour asked for some additional screening information that I wasn't comfortable with.
First: I'm P411 employment verified. I realize this isn't BULLETPROOF, but as a newbie I understand its a good first step. Second: I've reached out only to providers that advertise as 'Newbie Friendly' (and that are well reviewed.
So far I've reached out three times:
1. Via an agency. They checked P411 verificaiton info, said I'm good to go, then the day of the apt they asked for my full name. I said 'no thanks'.
2. Emailed a provider, was immediately asked for a photo (I had posted about this incident earlier). Again--no thanks.
3. Had another appointment setup with a VERY well reviewed provider. Checked my P411 info, initially said 'good to go' then, hours before the appointment she wanted a copy of my business card BEFORE the appointment. On this particular one, the provider is SO well reviewed and has such a good reputation I probably could have given this info--but just wasn't comfortable with it. (I proposed a pre-screen or some other method, but she seemingly got offended and ended the dialoge.)
So.... what am I doing wrong? Is there SOME level of additional screening providers will expect from someone with no references like myself? What SHOULD and SHOULDNT I provide when asked for additional verification info.
Talon, A few threads down you trash Kitten and then the agency she works for because they would not accept your work information as reference/verification. But you still saw Kitten, correct? So besides giving them work info you must have also given the agency additional information that allowed you to "visit" Kitten. How did you mange that without disclosing more personal information?
I texted the agency my business card(blacked out my last name) and he called my work and connected to my extension.
Posted By: ChefTito
Talon, A few threads down you trash Kitten and then the agency she works for because they would not accept your work information as reference/verification. But you still saw Kitten, correct? So besides giving them work info you must have also given the agency additional information that allowed you to "visit" Kitten. How did you mange that without disclosing more personal information?
You really have to look at your personal situation and say: What if this goes sour, how will it affect me?
Being in this since early 2000's, yes I gave out some personal information early on. I was very naive and was very lucky it did not bite me. After a couple years and a few bad experiences and close calls there is no way now I would give out personal info. NO WAY! Not going to happen under any circumstances, just politely move on with no hard feelings. I have ran into my share of crazy and thank my lucky stars they do not know who I am or where I live. They can send me crazy messages by email or PM but that is what the delete button is for. I also would never give any personal info to an agency they are worse than dealing with individuals as far as risk.
My suggestion is to pick some ladies that are a notch or two down on the list. Try those that occasionally advertise on BP but have a TER or P411 profile. My experience is that you will have just as good of time while getting your feet wet and developing some OK's you can lean on later on. Once you have 3-4, you should be good to go with about anyone and if that is not good enough just move on. I have many ok's on P411, I've never had a problem meeting anyone with that info since 3+ ok's. You really want to start with balance, those that have some screening standards but don't require your personal information.
Finally, there are many great, honest ladies in this profession, there really are. There are also those who are scam artists, cheats, greedy and those who are downright nuts which seems a higher percentage than the general population. This is true on the client side also without a doubt. Reviews don't necessarily weed the good from the bad and your personal info will not either. Its really a box of chocolates, you do not know what you are going to get until a bite is taken. I think that is part of the allure to all of this. Just make sure if it goes bad, your name is John.
You really have to look at your personal situation and say: What if this goes sour, how will it affect me?
Being in this since early 2000's, yes I gave out some personal information early on. I was very naive and was very lucky it did not bite me. After a couple years and a few bad experiences and close calls there is no way now I would give out personal info. NO WAY! Not going to happen under any circumstances, just politely move on with no hard feelings. I have ran into my share of crazy and thank my lucky stars they do not know who I am or where I live. They can send me crazy messages by email or PM but that is what the delete button is for. I also would never give any personal info to an agency they are worse than dealing with individuals as far as risk.
My suggestion is to pick some ladies that are a notch or two down on the list. Try those that occasionally advertise on BP but have a TER or P411 profile. My experience is that you will have just as good of time while getting your feet wet and developing some OK's you can lean on later on. Once you have 3-4, you should be good to go with about anyone and if that is not good enough just move on. I have many ok's on P411, I've never had a problem meeting anyone with that info since 3+ ok's. You really want to start with balance, those that have some screening standards but don't require your personal information.
Finally, there are many great, honest ladies in this profession, there really are. There are also those who are scam artists, cheats, greedy and those who are downright nuts which seems a higher percentage than the general population. This is true on the client side also without a doubt. Reviews don't necessarily weed the good from the bad and your personal info will not either. Its really a box of chocolates, you do not know what you are going to get until a bite is taken. I think that is part of the allure to all of this. Just make sure if it goes bad, your name is John.
Very good post woodchip, the only thing I would add is don't take offense at the request for additional screening. Just say "thank you no" and move on.
One thing you might consider dx, offer to meet the gal for coffee or cocktail so she has a chance to get comfortable.
I will say this: if I'm understanding your OP correctly, you dealt with more than one instance of being told that you were "good to go," only to have that contradicted soon after with a request for more screening info. That's typically an indication of disorganization. Personally, I think that every provider should have her screening protocol clearly stated on her ads and website, while potential clients should read that information thoroughly in order to decide whether or not the lady in question asks for an amount of info that he's willing to provide. And just as a general PSA (in no way is this directed at you specifically, dxi), if you are a potential client and find that a particular lady asks for more info than you are willing to give, please PLEASE just move on. Do not attempt to negotiate her screening practices or suggest that she should conduct her business differently. I can't stress enough how frustrating it is to be inundated with emails that say "I need to be discreet so I can't give you the information you ask for. I have [insert number here] Okays on P411 so that should be more than sufficient." It's just presumptuous and a waste of everyone's time. Again, not that you did such a thing, it's just a problem that segues into what we're talking about here.
In any event, I wish you many more rewarding adventures in the future!
Posted By: dxi2015
Thank you for the great feedback everyone--this really helped a lot. And Tobi--very well written.
PS: I did finally have a BS-free screening and a great session. Thanks everyone.
Are you trying to schedule providers who say they're "newbie friendly"? I started with just a p411 ID and that approach. I also asked for longer appointments the first few times, on the theory that it would be harder for them to turn it down. I would strongly advise against providing a real name...you'd be worrying about it forever.
There is no "set" rule for how much info you should or shouldn't give. Every lady has the right to ask for as much screening info as she feels that she needs, and every guy has the right to set his own standards in terms of how much info he wants to give. Do what you want, but understand that a P411 membership is not going to get you through every door.
What I do take issue with is this increasingly frequent suggestion that every one of us who asks for more than a first name and a site membership is some kind of crazy extortionist hell-bent on using all of this information for nefarious purposes, OR that we don't bother to take measures to protect our clients' info. Are there crazy bitches out there? You bet. But most of us (and I do mean the vast majority) are simply trying to do our jobs safely.
This is a topic that has been debated ad nauseum (and will continue to be), so I'd be wasting my time if I were to argue my side of it. However, it's important to remember that both sides of this argument have their valid points. Just keep in mind that not every girl who doesn't put all of her faith in a 3rd party to keep herself safe is some kind of scammer/extortionist/stalker, just like not every guy who refuses to give personal info is a serial killer.
If you are interested in hearing the other side of this debate, my homegirl Erin Black said it much more eloquently than I ever could, so I've included a link to her blog below.
Very well said. I just want to add one more comment. I don't give out my personal information easily not because I don't trust you. Toby, I am absolutely sure that that you won't use it to blackmail me , and you need it ONLY to ensure your safety. But I know that nowadays infromation doesn't dissapear. Stuff happens beyond your control and intentions . You could forget the laptop with all these records in Starbucks or your website could be hacked by Russian hackers. I bet Jennifer Lawrence didn't see any harm in taking her naked selfies. That's why I think that several references from well established providers are sufficient for screening. Giving additional RL info like name, DOB, social security number, etc. doesn't add even a iota of additional safety for you, but significantly increases risks for me. But again, each of us have his own set of rules, and we should try to follow them rather then trying to bend.
Fair enough, but just a couple of things: firstly, I don't know any provider who asks for a social security number. That's a little excessive. Second, there are plenty of ways to be technologically secure (one of which means not using a device with sensitive information in a public place or on an unsecured network). I'm not saying that you should just hand out your personal info willy nilly, but understand that most of us are capable of keeping our technology as secure as possible. To do otherwise is foolish for a myriad of reasons.
You are incorrect, however, in saying that RL info doesn't add any additional safety on our end. They don't list P411 IDs on the sex offender registry, and if you decide to snap and beat the shit out of me, I'm not going to be of much help to the police if all I have is a first name and a few references. On the other side, your risk only increases if the lady you provide your information to is either malicious or careless with it. Because I screen as thoroughly as I do, I know exactly who I'm meeting every single time, and that they are 99.9% guaranteed to be safe. Do I lose out on business because of my screening requirements? Definitely. But my clients and I can rest assured that I will never choose the almighty dollar over my safety and freedom.
Posted By: Cowboy5555
Very well said. I just want to add one more comment. I don't give out my personal information easily not because I don't trust you. Toby, I am absolutely sure that that you won't use it to blackmail me , and you need it ONLY to ensure your safety. But I know that nowadays infromation doesn't dissapear. Stuff happens beyond your control and intentions . You could forget the laptop with all these records in Starbucks or your website could be hacked by Russian hackers. I bet Jennifer Lawrence didn't see any harm in taking her naked selfies. That's why I think that several references from well established providers are sufficient for screening. Giving additional RL info like name, DOB, social security number, etc. doesn't add even a iota of additional safety for you, but significantly increases risks for me. But again, each of us have his own set of rules, and we should try to follow them rather then trying to bend.
From your perspective, the risk of me being a pervert and rapist overweight “almighty dollar”. And for me, this risk of you being negligent with my info overweight the tremendous pleasure of seeing you. But taking in account that in reality both of these risks are close to nil and my reward is much better, softer and sweeter than yours, I might change my mind
From your perspective, the risk of me being a pervert and rapist overweight “almighty dollar”. And for me, this risk of you being negligent with my info overweight the tremendous pleasure of seeing you. But taking in account that in reality both of these risks are close to nil and my reward is much better, softer and sweeter than yours, I might change my mind
I am of the "Give your real name." school of hobbying when seeing only the most well reviewed providers. I feel more comfortable with that because I know the gal cherishes her own personal safety to the point where she is willing to give up a sizable part of the market.
However, I don't judge those who are too scared of doing so. We each are responsible for our personal safety, and besides, if you are not comfortable, why even bother with the hobby? The point is to have fun, not be a nervous wreck.
So, take the good advice you have been given here, and stick with it. I would suggest that early and often in your correspondence you tell the gals that under no circumstances will you reveal your name, and if that is a deal breaker, so be it. But there's no point in either of you wasting your time.
early and often pounding a "under no circumstance..." message. That would make him to appear harsh and as if HE is an outlier with his expectations - and he clearly isn't at all. If he is trying to book through P411, then HIS expectations are THE NORM for booking ladies through that site, NOT the exception. Ladies who have additional requirements should really state this on their P411 page, in addition to on their own site. And if he sees this, then he can quickly move along to consider others within his comfort zone. He only needs to worry about presenting himself respectfully in all inquires, as we all should.
you've had a run of bad luck, but seem to have gone about everything the right way. You also have a clear comfort level, and you have every right to stick with that!! I can certainly understand why it would be frustrating to you, and this was not my experience at all with P411 ladies - though yes, I have encountered some there also who require personal information, as is certainly their prerogative. But don't worry, fun times are definately ahead for you. And if you DO decide to change your approach and give out personal info to an agency or lady - ONLY do it because you've decided that you are okay with this level of risk, and NOT because of your frustration of the moment. Hang in there, be patient, and continue to present yourself in the best manner in all communications. Something good will happen soon.
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