It went well.
I busied myself beforehand to distract myself, and had a few shots before she arrived, but they didn't really have an effect. She looked amazing and was fun to talk to. She turned down the wine, though--and I was hoping for another drink for the nerves. XD I maybe should have brought up the V card to start rather than just saying it was my first time doing this--I'm not sure it sunk in exactly how nervous I would be and how hesitant I would be to make a move. I told her later as we were finally starting in bed and she seemed fine with it--maybe a little more emotive and encouraging. Strangely, losing the V card didn't make me really feel attached. It really was just fulfilling fun with a friend. Or someone I could see as a friend. Still think I shouldn't review?
Hey everyone. I am a 29 year old virgin who has always had trouble advancing relationships because I get too nervous to make the move, or any move. To try to get past the anxiety and get some experience, I've book a session with a provider who is exactly my type. The session is tomorrow, and I am extremely nervous. I've read up on the standard etiquette, but does anyone have any additional advise for my situation? The provider won't know I am a virgin when she arrives--I figured that might allude to intercourse too soon? How do I bring it up, or let her know that I am too nervous to make the moves I want?
just go to your rendezvous, be honest with her, and let nature run it's course.
Seriously... do not let your brain rule you in this. It has misinformed you for how long?
Stop over-thinking, give up control and let her guide you. You'll be glad you did.
Probably good advice, thanks. But no extra etiquette concerns? If I bring up virginity, I'm obviously assuming sex. I don't know how much that needs to be danced around, or not explicitly talked about?
Just relax, be yourself, be honest, and have fun.
And remember, this is the most natural thing in the world - you'll take to it like a duck to water.
Oh, one other thing - if you've watched a lot of porn, don't use that as your guide for how this goes.
It's not about pounding as fast as you can - find your rhythm, and just enjoy each moment with the lady - savor each touch, each new sensation, and just go with the flow.
but a giant step for your manhood.
I think it's great that you're taking the bull by the horns.
Be well rested and well hydrated. It probably wouldn't hurt either to have one (Just one!) shot of the liquid courage of your choice just to steady the nerves.
I did so before plenty of dates and it does work.
Thanks, I was considering a little courage beforehand, but I've read some articles saying not to smell like booze. One can't hurt, I suppose, but since it'll be my first session, and maybe first reference, I want to be careful to give my best impression.
I wouldn't bother telling her you are a virgin unless she specifically asks you. Telling her could potentially throw her off her game. Now I am still a newbie myself so if a more seasoned vet gives you contradictory advice, you may wanna listen to them. Just relax as much as possible and let her lead the way.
If you're asking how to best be polite and respectful, don't worry, you're already there.
That was especially considerate of you to avoid any sexual topic, very nice. When she gets there, you can certainly tell her you're a virgin, but it may be more comfortable for everyone if you tell her you're nervous because you've "never done this before." She will probably assume you mean you've never paid before, which easily makes guys as nervous as the actual first time. (I even thought that's what you meant by virgin.) Physically, you don't have to do anything. Or you can. The money makes up for you needing to balance anything against what you want, right that moment. (Assuming what you want is on the general menu.)
When we say "don't smell like booze," we mean saturated, ie: the smell oozing out of your pores. Still, it's always a solid move to have a sealed bottle of champagne/prosecco/whatever and pop it open to share when she arrives. Actually, I'm going to fully recommend that.
tl/dr: Tell her you've never done "this" before, buy wine, drink it with her, have fun
Thank you, your response is very reassuring.
I'll definitely try that, and pick up some wine in the morning.
And, she might get skittish if she's burdened with that baggage.
My advice for the virgins using P4P for their first experience: tell her you're really nervous because you're totally new to P4P and very sexually inexperienced in general. Then ask her to take the lead. Afterwards, thank her profusely (tip if you're so inclined) and either don't see her again or see a few other before you return to avoid any potential emotional attachment.
I totally understand baggage. We all carry some around. I have had enough open conversations with providers to know that the good ones would embrace the situation and make it a good one. I couldn't even imagine being in that situation as a virgin with some of the providers I've been with. And I can think of several that I would have wanted to be. You only get one shot. If the woman isn't the right one, wait a little longer before you take the plunge.
True, you never forget your first. But it seems like most people can't help but obsess about it from the moment they start having sexual thoughts (some to a crippling degree) and then when the time comes, it's typically an awkward or "meh" experience. Better to just get it out of the way and get to work on some good sex.
-- Modified on 9/26/2014 12:20:11 PM
And that's why I got an escort. The V card, or my anxiety about it, was crippling. I've lost a few relationships prematurely because I was too anxious to make a move.
Few wait for marriage, waiting really sucked, I was behind in the game and super-aware of it. I have always wanted my first time to be special, but after take a long hard look at my situation I decided I'd rather it be with someone good. This gave me that chance and power to make that happen.
A lot of people don't want the responsibility of being someone's "first." You'll probably encounter more sexual opportunities in the civvie world now that that weight has been dropped. Have a blast!
Actually, you really shouldn't write a review. I'm sure you have a lot to mentally process. Best of luck in your future hobbying endeavors!
It went well.
I busied myself beforehand to distract myself, and had a few shots before she arrived, but they didn't really have an effect. She looked amazing and was fun to talk to. She turned down the wine, though--and I was hoping for another drink for the nerves. XD
I maybe should have brought up the V card to start rather than just saying it was my first time doing this--I'm not sure it sunk in exactly how nervous I would be and how hesitant I would be to make a move. I told her later as we were finally starting in bed and she seemed fine with it--maybe a little more emotive and encouraging.
Strangely, losing the V card didn't make me really feel attached. It really was just fulfilling fun with a friend. Or someone I could see as a friend.
Still think I shouldn't review?
If you don't care about posting the details of losing your V, then go right ahead - it sounds like she deserves a shout out. I suggest that you think about it for a few days (and set up some appointments).
Not sure if you get PM's, but I wanted you to know I was checking up and congrats. 
My first time was in the hobby too. Tell us how it went if you feel comfortable. Mine was ok. Wish I would've known about TER before though.