I think you are absolutely right regarding how providers feel.
I am new to this hobby field and green to the game. I wonder how do providers feel about having ongoing communication and conversation with hobbyists they have seen. It appears that they don't want to be bothered unless it is regarding making an appointment to see them.
Sign
Newbie
Fresh in the game
Girlfriend: Calls/texts you nearly every day, likes to know what you're doing all the time.
Provider : She doesn't care what you're doing, don't contact her till you want an appt.
Girlfriend: She's pretty, sweet, and you're lucky to have her.
Provider: She's better looking than your girlfriend. You have to pay her.
Girlfriend: She likes spending time with you, so she's always hanging around.
Provider: Schedule an appt & be on time.
Girlfriend: She has sex with you because she loves you (or at least she's infatuated with you).
Provider: She has sex with you because that's her job. Now pay her.
An ATF/SB will give you more of the girlfriend treatment--OTC time, unsolicited texts, etc. Just remember you're paying more for that via frequent hookups, gifts, etc. --z
It appears from the comments for a provider one would assume the provider doesn't enjoy what they do. It must be unpleasant doing a job and not have an interest in the people that you so intimate with.
Never assume that the GFE you experienced within the time you paid for carries over beyond that time.
That said, there are times when you get to know a gal pretty well (usually over a long period of time) that they will initiate and perhaps even encourage a bit of idle chat via email, text, and sometimes even phone. This is somewhat rare, but not unknown.
In a way, it is good marketing as it keeps their presence in your mind so that you will think of them when considering seeing a provider. Of course there could also be some affection being expressed there as well. Where the line between business and pleasure gets drawn will vary with the people and the circumstances.
The bottom line is: Tread lightly.
No fee or subscription required, lol. There is no set rule, and it varies from lady to lady.
THE most important thing is to not abuse the privilege.
xoxo,
Steph
is that to be sure that you are not becoming a pest, and that she really welcomes the countless texts/emails/calls that some guys make, is to make sure that she is the one to initiate them, and never send more than one, or two at the very most communications without getting a response.She will respond when she wants to, and when she has the time, multiple efforts to reach her when she is busy or just not in the mood to talk will most likely get you on her DNS list, so if you ever have the least bit of doubt that you might be making a pest of yourself, err of the side of leaving her be.
My normal is to hear from the ladies long after they retire. Some of these ladies become very successful in the business world, and just want to talk with someone with no agenda. Age slows the agenda down. Usually they just want to catch up like old friends. Hearing from them at the holidays is the norm.
Never send more than one, two at the most without getting a response. You're pretty safe with that policy.
match.com or wiveswanttofuck or any other such venue.
Providers want to hear from you when you want to schedule an appointment. Don't be a time wasting pest.
If you have an ATF that you see often, then it might be different but don't bank on it. these ladies have lives outside this dream world.
There is a zero percent chance you consider it past tense while she considers it ongoing. If it's past tense, then no, she won't want the facebook status updates of your life, and especially no "Hey whatz up?"
On the other hand, I like hearing from "hobbyists I am seeing." Especially little messages about things we've already been talking about.
If you're already at "It appears they don't want to be bothered," then too far.
Now I can see that happening. Those little communication makes me want to make an appointment sooner than planned
My doctor likes my naughty jokes and I like fast access, my hair stylist occasionally travels with me, and my barista specifically asked me to check in if I won't be in for a few days- he worries, lol.
Common sense is pretty much the key across the board.
it was not something I planned or expected.
I have been seeing this provider for a bit over seven months about twice a month and I intend to keep seeing her until one of us quits the hobby or quits enjoying the company of the other. I hope it is a long time from now, but it could be anytime. She is not the only provider I have seen in this time period, but she has received the vast majority of my business since we first met.
Very soon after we exchanged our first emails, I started paying her extra, every time I have seen her, for the time she spends emailing me between our visits. We never established any kind of set payment schedule and I never asked her if it was necessary to pay her for correspondence time- it just seemed like the right thing to do. I value her communication with me, but also respect that she has a whole life outside her occupation and has to manage her time. I also realize that if she were to communicate with every hobbyist the way she has with me, it would be a huge time sink.
I would be surprised to have this happen with providers I meet in the future.
You can't have a personal relationship with SOME of the people you work with!!! That's INSANE!!!
Of course, I'm kidding. That's a very nice example.
Two or three of the ladies I've seen keep in touch with me and I them. But, they are ones where we've clicked more than just with the bedroom stuff. They are also ones that I've seen more than once and plan to see them again. However, I don't call them. Usually an email or two once a month just to check in and catchup on things that we've talked about in past.
But, I don't expect this, I just enjoy it for what it's worth. We both have our outside lives and we respect those boundaries.
This is the case for me also and email is my method of communication. I don't expect it. When I get a reply it increases my chances of her being my ATF. If I don't make a connection with a provider I want see her again. I certainly wouldn't try to keep some form of communication open.
But, I don't expect this, I just enjoy it for what it's worth. We both have our outside lives and we respect those boundaries.
I keep in touch with my local Provider on a daily basis. When she needs a ride home or to the grocery store, I pick her up and drive her there. I've been seeing her for well over a year. We've become Friends.
I have a former Provider I also keep in touch with. She lives out of state from me. I drive over to visit her about once or twice a year. And yes we do still play aroind.