Newbie - FAQ

Well..
lumbermanxxx 488 reads
posted

that isn't something I go looking for, but I'm just not sure how it really matters.  The bottom line is you are the one who has to be safe for yourself.  Anyone you are with may do/have done bbfs, Im pretty sure most all of the people on here have with SOMEONE at sometime.  So I guess what I'm saying is you must take you safety into your own hands and see people you feel comfortable with...  Good Luck..

Posted By: SecretMe11
so...not trying to stir anything up.  This is a genuine question.    
   
 A fellow TER hobbyist has posted an inquiry about a provider I know for a fact has provided bbfs (I found pics on another site).  I no longer pay for ter vip so I can't pm him currently.  
   
 I've also observed that "we" collectively seem to have no issue outing a guy that seeks it(often they out themselves)...but I've not noticed the same type of outing going on for ladies that provide bbfs.  I also don't go looking for that so maybe I'm just not seeing the posts outing ladies.    
   
 The question is...would you reply to a public post about a lady and out her with respect to providing bbfs were you in my position?  Or, would you remain silent and allow the fellow hobbyist to find out for himself?  
   
 Ladies, would you value knowing this about another provider?  (My guess is you probably already know)  
   
 I found out when I was doing my research on her a year or so ago and opted not to see her as a result.  
   
 I'm leaning a particular direction but wanted to get the thoughts of some others here.  I always appreciate the different perspectives.    
   
 Thanks!  
   
 

so...not trying to stir anything up.  This is a genuine question.  

A fellow TER hobbyist has posted an inquiry about a provider I know for a fact has provided bbfs (I found pics on another site).  I no longer pay for ter vip so I can't pm him currently.

I've also observed that "we" collectively seem to have no issue outing a guy that seeks it(often they out themselves)...but I've not noticed the same type of outing going on for ladies that provide bbfs.  I also don't go looking for that so maybe I'm just not seeing the posts outing ladies.  

The question is...would you reply to a public post about a lady and out her with respect to providing bbfs were you in my position?  Or, would you remain silent and allow the fellow hobbyist to find out for himself?

Ladies, would you value knowing this about another provider?  (My guess is you probably already know)

I found out when I was doing my research on her a year or so ago and opted not to see her as a result.

I'm leaning a particular direction but wanted to get the thoughts of some others here.  I always appreciate the different perspectives.  

Thanks

"I found pics on another site" was it a porn site where BB is the norm or does she advertise BBFS? If she's giving it regularly it should show up in her reviews. If she has no reviews and you have no link to an ad offering it you could end up looking like a guy just trying to harm an innocent girls business. If you have something to back up your claim it could make for an interesting thread.

GaGambler388 reads

and I would like to echo the sentiment that "outing" her for BBFS without proof could make the OP look like some guy with an axe to grind.

I would say that without firsthand knowledge of her providing BBFS to clients, I would STFU about it, especially with his limited posting/reviewing history.

For any john to think that his gal pal isn't going BBFS with someone is just so delusional.  Unless she is/was a virgin and only sees johns with protection...it's simply laughable to read these insane concerns.

Same with the dudes...most guys have played with gals BBFS over the years.

So to "out" someone is moronic...simply assume that every gal is going BBFS with someone...and assume that whoever she's going BBFS with has also gone BBFS with someone.

Simply put that hat on and protect oneself.  To worry what someone else is doing is a waste of time and energy.

As you posted on the GD board...how else can you explain those kids that she has?  It's like the question that some dumbfounded new dad would say to his wife..."How the hell did that happen"?  Duh  ;)

Posted By: GaGambler
and I would like to echo the sentiment that "outing" her for BBFS without proof could make the OP look like some guy with an axe to grind.

I would say that without firsthand knowledge of her providing BBFS to clients, I would STFU about it, especially with his limited posting/reviewing history.

GaGambler397 reads

but I didn't want to repeat exactly what I just said on the GD board, AND I didn't want to blast the OP here on the Newbie board  where we are expected to be "nice"

if he had made this very same post on GD or one of the regional boards, I doubt that I would have been as nice about it.

Seafood323 reads

It does appear that the guy is grinding an ax.  Maybe if other hobbists agreed with him there may be some validity there.

Posted By: Seafood
It does appear that the guy is grinding an ax.  Maybe if other hobbists agreed with him there may be some validity there.
No, I have no axe to grind.  I have never seen the woman in question and I bear her no ill will.  I have no reason for any animosity or malice toward her.  The context of my question was asking if 'you' would out a provider in this circumstance...namely, another hobbiest was inquiring about her on a public board.

...bbfs is happening with the SO, BF, what have you. Cover up. Take the precautions you are comfortable with. OP the provider may be giving bbfs or not but others, monger and provider, are having bbfs with boyfriends and/or girlfriends so I don't see an issue.

Outing her requires proof, presentable proof. If it's not clear, indisputable evidence don't out her. I'd say don't anyway.

 
edited for spelling

-- Modified on 9/24/2014 10:51:32 PM

Apologies for the tl;dr.

My primary reason for posting here was to illicit productive discussion and useful comments....which this did.  The other boards seem more like signing up for slaughter and no real dialog occurs.  People just look for every way they can excoriate the op, which, while fun sometimes, is essentially pointless if you are seeking a meaningful dialog and not just entertainment.  

I had similar thoughts to those several of you posted.  I did this as a sort of 'sanity check'.  I find value in others' perspectives and was doing this to see if my thoughts were inline with others.  So, for those that replied, thank you for your thoughts.  

To address some specifics:

Posted By: DJ1985
"I found pics on another site" was it a porn site where BB is the norm or does she advertise BBFS? If she's giving it regularly it should show up in her reviews. If she has no reviews and you have no link to an ad offering it you could end up looking like a guy just trying to harm an innocent girls business. If you have something to back up your claim it could make for an interesting thread.
The pics are posted by a hobbiest on another review site showing his wahoo entering her hooha.  He has a rep of doing BBFS with all manner of providers, taking photos, and posting on this other site. They are amateur pics that show her face...as do some of her ads so I am certain it is her.  They are not porn.  They are 100% her and she is 100% doing BBFS.  The provider is a local girl to my area as near as I can tell.  
Posted By: keystonekid
Re: My first question is why did you wait a year before thinking about outing her?  eom
Several reasons:
1) (then) I was a lot more inexperienced the year or two ago when I ran across these pics than now; I was lucky to stumble across the pics I found; my first thought did not go anywhere near sharing about a BBFS provider; I thought...ugh...then I moved on to another provider that was more to my liking
2) (now) I'm still not sure outing her is the right thing to do given what I know about her
3) this could have been an isolated event; maybe she got hammered and this happened and she hasn't done it before or since.  Who am I to publicly shame her?  She might have been mortified by the experience...i'd only make it worse by perpetuating it.
4) as other have commented...I'm under no illusion that BBFS doesn't happen

Further, this is only partly about BBFS for me and more about risk assessment.  Someone that is (apparently) cavalier about having BB sex, allowing the john to photograph it, and later share it with the world is indicative of someone that is far riskier than I care to associate with.  While I may not be limiting my exposure to people that partake in BBFS by avoiding her...I might be avoiding someone who completely lacks discretion or engages in other risky behaviors.  It's one factor among many that make up a resume.  Is this a girl that I can trust within this pursuit?  Or, is she BSC and likely to 'do something' I might regret?  There are no shortage of ways to run into trouble in this hobby.  

At this point, I have no evidence that this particular provider advertises it, has done it repeatedly, or has demonstrated other risky behaviors.  This event appears to be isolated.  At best, I can say she might need to work on her screening practices.  Regardless, I have, and will continue to mind my own business.  

I was curious to see if anyone else responded with the 'risky behavior' perspective and advised sharing in any fashion (pm, email, public board, etc) to assist others.  Or, at the very least...do others evaluate risk in this fashion?  Granted, there is only so much you can do to minimize risk in this hobby.  But clearly many of us believe in some manner of risk avoidance or we wouldn't be here.  We probably just draw our lines at different places.  

Also, there are often comments made about hobbyists that don't review but only mooch of those that do.  This seemed like a somewhat parallel circumstance.  I have information that might be relevant to others.  Am I cheating the community by not sharing it?

It is interesting to me that neither of these povs surfaced in this dialog.

Again, thanks for all your comments

Why just out the hooker? Personally take the good Dr Who revived advice and leave it alone.

Posted By: hbyist+truth=;(
Why just out the hooker? Personally take the good Dr Who revived advice and leave it alone.
The two most imminent reasons are 1) he has already outed himself repeatedly and 2) the pics don't ever show his face.  

But, to the heart of your question, if she deserves outing, then so does he.  Valid point.

Seafood285 reads

Well said, but it would have been nice to give us the URL and let us decide for our self.  It could be a photo shop picture also.  Let us decide for ourselves.  I don't think it would make a difference.  All hobbyist should cover up.

Posted By: Seafood
Well said, but it would have been nice to give us the URL and let us decide for our self.  It could be a photo shop picture also.  Let us decide for ourselves.  I don't think it would make a difference.  All hobbyist should cover up.  
The primary reason is I can't share the url/photos without outing her.  That would defeat the purpose of asking "should I out her" as I have in this discussion.  I agree with you and others points about wearing hat...always a best practice.

that isn't something I go looking for, but I'm just not sure how it really matters.  The bottom line is you are the one who has to be safe for yourself.  Anyone you are with may do/have done bbfs, Im pretty sure most all of the people on here have with SOMEONE at sometime.  So I guess what I'm saying is you must take you safety into your own hands and see people you feel comfortable with...  Good Luck..

Posted By: SecretMe11
so...not trying to stir anything up.  This is a genuine question.    
   
 A fellow TER hobbyist has posted an inquiry about a provider I know for a fact has provided bbfs (I found pics on another site).  I no longer pay for ter vip so I can't pm him currently.  
   
 I've also observed that "we" collectively seem to have no issue outing a guy that seeks it(often they out themselves)...but I've not noticed the same type of outing going on for ladies that provide bbfs.  I also don't go looking for that so maybe I'm just not seeing the posts outing ladies.    
   
 The question is...would you reply to a public post about a lady and out her with respect to providing bbfs were you in my position?  Or, would you remain silent and allow the fellow hobbyist to find out for himself?  
   
 Ladies, would you value knowing this about another provider?  (My guess is you probably already know)  
   
 I found out when I was doing my research on her a year or so ago and opted not to see her as a result.  
   
 I'm leaning a particular direction but wanted to get the thoughts of some others here.  I always appreciate the different perspectives.    
   
 Thanks!  
   
 

Pablito492 reads

then she's BB with lots of others.  

If you're wrapped, you're wrapped.

who_cares292 reads

80% of guys will ask for BBFS . I ask many providers how often do you get asked for BBFS I'm told at least 50-80% of the time.  
So it's like jerking off we all do it few admit it. Yes I've has BBFS with a few girls ( but never on the first date lol)

Epsilon_Eridani284 reads

first - the posting rules in the TER forums. What does it say about 'outing' someone?

second - how does outing someone benefit someone like yourself?

us experienced hobbyists are old enough to say 'NO' to BBFS. simple as that.

if anyone does not say 'NO' to being offered BBFS, then they might as well shoot themselves!

no need to overcomplicate things.

Excellent point about posting rules...

Posted By: Epsilon_Eridani
first - the posting rules in the TER forums. What does it say about 'outing' someone?  
   
 second - how does outing someone benefit someone like yourself?  
   
 us experienced hobbyists are old enough to say 'NO' to BBFS. simple as that.  
   
 if anyone does not say 'NO' to being offered BBFS, then they might as well shoot themselves!  
   
 no need to overcomplicate things.

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