Seriously, you can try to play on the cheap end of things, where girls do little or no verification, but then you take on a much higher risk of rip-offs, LE stings and worse.

Typically, well-established escorts got that way by being careful about who they see. And that almost always means their clients offered verifiable information about themselves... a membership in a verification service, references from other well-established ladies, employment information, etc etc.

Given your parameters-- "no nothing for nobody--"  I think you're setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration

that is a question.

For starters there are street walkers, but I assume you don't want to go there and I can't blame you.

Then there are massage parlors.  These represent some risk in terms of LE, and the service can be haphazard, but I used to love them and did well with them.  You might want to consider that route.

Finally, there are gals, mostly on BP, who will see guys for just about no screening, some even are reviewed on TER.  You'll be selecting from a very narrow branch of the hobby, so selection will be limited.  How fussy are you about looks and performance?

There is also the security issue with these gals.  Since they don't screen, they are more likely to face LE.  There's some chance she might even be LE, or flipped to protect herself.

Life is a series of choices, and we have to line up all the angles before we take our best shot.

I have never had a problem offering scads of personal information to the right gal, and I've seen hundreds of gals.

Now, you decide.

Up front disclosure: I'm a P411 member and was wary too, but have been well served by overcoming that mental block

If you want complete anonymity then streetwalkers fit that bill; and are high profile busts with local vice squads.
If you have a burner phone then you can step up to the Backpage girls; and are high profile busts with local vice looking to maximize charges by claiming slavery.
If you know someone who can vouch for you with a provider, that's a remote possibility; low profile and low visibility to vice.

But I think if you want to partake of a higher quality experience then you'll need to disclose some information that's already in the public records.  The independent escorts are small business owners too, and desire to ensure their own safety as much as you want to protect yours.  Many of them will require personal references, and even check out your provided information before agreeing to meet with you.

Using a recognized verification service bridges the gap between the two parties while maintaining a layer of separation.  Worried about the verification site burning you?  That would destroy their credibility with everyone in a heartbeat, and ruin their business.  As a foreign-held company they are not subject to the same laws as the US but, let's be honest, if you're on this site without anonymous hardware/software then the NSA already logged your activity.  Unless you're a political threat then they likely don't give a damn about you.

I understand your reluctance to provide personal information.  You could always travel overseas to where the hobby is legal and meet with providers there to build up your personal references.  Expensive?  Yes, but would help maintain your air of anonymity.

Everything has a price point and a risk level attached.  Only you can determine where that graph crosses and you are comfortable proceeding.

A Legal Brothel in Nye County Nevada - about an hour from Las Vegas.  
There are a few to choose from, you can look them all up on line, see the girls and ask them about their screening or meeting process. Of course the prices are a bit higher than most Independent gals.  

You mentioned you don't have a problem showing ID in person, so ask some ladies about that -
 I have heard of ladies doing a meet up in public; meet for a lunch or dinner of a coffee -  
I imagine they may want you to tell them your name on the phone tho first, but maybe not.  

 
I strongly suggest, for your safety, you stick with reputable reviewed ladies or a Brothel.

Keep looking, don't give up yet. I totally understand your fears , and you are smart for being concerned! better than being sloppy -  
and I am sure you understand the ladies concerns!  

peace !XO  
(( below, scene from Pretty Woman -  

Caption  "I can guarantee with 83 percent certainty that I won't murder you."    

Why would a well established, well reviewed professional woman do anything with your data other than use it for verification and screening just like you have been reading about here?

If she were do something squirrely, like you seem to be afraid of, she risks being put out of business. You run your own business and so do all the independent providers out there.  I think most of them (all of the good ones) are pretty smart and savvy enough not to engage in behavior that would degrade their reputation. The few I have met with, after careful screening of my own, have proven to be very professional and trustworthy.  

When you consider that they have a business to run and maintain and their customers that aren't dedicated hobbyists may not have a concern about reputation, you should realize that the providers' risks are far far greater than yours in both probability and consequences.

plenty of fun times can be had at these.

Some VETS, like myself will meet for a drink to interview potential clients.  I have an SO & a family, so I understand the importance of privacy.  Find a provider who is willing to give you a chance & does not rely on other websites to screen you for them.  Best of luck to you!

so,  I'd say, stay home if you don't want  to use verification sites.

...there are risks that you must be willing to take in order to play. Some jersey up, and some just aren't comfortable with it and instead choose to sit the game out. It really is as simple as your risk comfort level.

I require minimal screening for this, charge for a half hour, discuss a few basics about how things work, and probably most importantly work out a screening method that is comfortable for the new hobbyist.

I think when you see that you're dealing with a regular girl who just wants to stay safe, you'll feel much more comfortable.  If you haven't done it before, doing verification online has more of a scammy porn site feel to it- which isn't what's happening at all.

If there is a girl you want to see who doesn't list this as a service, ask.  Just like in any other business, not being "compliant" will cost you money and time, but as long as you stick with an attitude of "So, what can we do to make this happen?" you should be able to find what you want.

Please drop the "I patently refuse."  You would show that potential customer the door and so do we.

I use BP, but only see ladies who have TER reviews. So far, only one provider has wanted any verification, and she was satisfied with my TER ID, which has no actual personal information. I can't afford high-priced escorts, but that doesn't mean I'm not careful.