This is most likely the wrong forum to pose a question of this type due to the reasons alot of us are here for, but it also is a forun with alot of intelligent and diverse people, so I'll ask it anyway.
In Ciara's post to the thread below below she said... "I explained this to my boyfriend of 3 years.. He said to me " I don't make you happy in the bedroom? You need props now ? "
I found it really odd that a person would would take it to heart like that as opposed to being happy that his/her partner was interested in exploring new things and was open enough about doing so to include them in on it.
So... Can one person be everything to another??? If not, is that a bad thing???
Personally, I don't think it's really possible for one person to fulfill EVERY need for another. At least it never has been for me.
Don't get me wrong, I believe stronger than most in love, devotion and commitment. They are wonderful things, and the building blocks I feel you need to have for any relationship to work in the long term.
But no matter how much I ever loved another, I always knew in the back of my mind that even if I was to be with that person for the rest of my days, I'd never be able to honestly tell her that she could give me everything I needed in life.
SO, am I full of shit here in my thinking or not?
You aren't full of it at all ! It all makes perfect sense.. and your findings are 99% true ! ( Only because there is no such thing as 100% )
No matter whom ones significant other is - there is always that " Geeshe, she/he is so perfect in every way, I just wish he or she wasn't so_______ (fill in the blanks )
I think both Ciara & SB are right on. "To thy ownself be true" The only person that can have another person forfil all their needs is someone who is really not emotionally heathy IMHO.
The actual statement is, "Geeshe, she/he is so perfect in every way, I just wish he or she wasn't so F*CKING _______ (fill in the blanks)".
Why sugar coat it?
It's been expected of me in the past. It's not a fun thing. I learned to look for that characteristic early in a relationship and walk away if I see it.
Actually, especially in the BEST relationships, it is understood that another person can never fulfill every need for another. YOU are responsible for fulfilling your own needs, your partner should be a compliment to that.
Those who look to others to fulfill their needs are not being fair to the other, and will likely always be somewhat unfulfilled and disappointed.
Can one's SO be "everything" one needs?
In theory, Yes. By
1. prioritizing one's needs and
2. being completely open to the
SO's needs,
3. discussing honestly the health of the relationship,
4. being willing to change one's behavior for the sake of the relationship and/or leave the relationship for needs unmet.
In practice, proabably not. Because our needs change as we grow in age and experience,
and seldom at the same rate as our partner's. Compromise is inevitable. And compromise means
giving up on certain wants and needs.
Ask yourself: Can my SO be "everything" for me? If "yes," then why are you here?
If the purpose of this question is to provide justification for jeopardizing a relationship, I think it's moot. We've each arrived at that position in our own way.
And like Sola sez, it's to take responsibilty for our own unmet needs.
I'm not in a relationship of any kind at the moment, so it isn't about justification of any sort, other then justification of my wallet. Caira's comment just made me wonder is all.
Some good points to ponder have been stated.
I understand about the compromise, but there in is the problem sometimes I think. You're right, openess and honesty is paramount in ANY relationship, but the changing part is where the trouble starts (always has for me anyway).
Just always seems that a person becomes attracted to you for certain reasons, then once the ties of the relationship have been formed, they always want you to change, not understanding that if you change one thing, you change the whole.
Then they wonder after the fact, why you aren't the same person you were when they met you.
...but I'm just exceptional that way.
[at popular request, I'm giving the self-deprecation a break and going with monstrous ego for a while.]
-- Modified on 4/26/2005 1:21:20 PM
Oh, I hope not... I wanna be cooch's ATF, but with Lex in the running, I know I don't have a chance!
S
One for all and all for one.
Yes but... it's just human nature to yearn to be.
QUOTE: "Can one person be everything to another?"
Perhaps. It is possible for someone to constrain their life so that they have only one other person in it.
One can limit their growth to having they same needs, or at least only acknowledging the same needs, which they had when first they met or decided to be with another.
One person can be everything to another, but should they?
It limits both parites if that happens, it limits what you can be, and what you can offer the other.
I am a hopeless romantic, I do believe in true love and all that stuff, but I think it would be the greatest folly to then have only that person contribute to who I am, who I become, what I experience. I would have little to offer this person overtime if they were my only interest, or catalyst for growth, I would stagnate and our relationship would stagnate.
What one brings to a relationship can not stop once the relationship has begun.
In a follow up post you also mention the other person wanting you to change. I have never understood that, for the things we may not like about another are just as integral to making them someone we love as those things we do like. People are truly more than the sum of their parts, each part enhances and effects the whole in untold ways and to want to change even one thing will undoubtedly change the person as a whole, and perhaps into someone we do not love as we did before they changed.
Growth and change should not be forced, or controled or worse yet stopped by another...growth is the fulfillment of potential, potential that hopefully when realised causes one to love and appreciate the other just as much as before and, at best, more.
An attempt to do so would be a terrible friendship and relationship. The inclination to try it comes from jealousy and insecurity.
But maybe sometimes it will just happen? Not to say that there wouldn't still be a need for others in a person's sphere of influence on some level, but to say that on the deepest levels of want and desire, hope and wishes, somehow that one person could fit you so well that you just can't fathom it.
I think it's possible but HIGHLY HIGHLY unlikely. Sort of like a big winning lotto ticket.
Enough to be content with that person for the rest of their life. 
But what do I know, I'm just a civie.
Lia
Eden B's rosy-shade wearin' PA & Lackey