But I have to agree, I would be more than happy to share my real name with her. Actually I think she already has it, but where I disagree with you is that i could actually be tempted to hop on a plane to NYC.
I'm sure this has been asked a hundred times on here so forgive me if this is newbie bullshit, but I am curious to get an opinion. I work in an industry in which my name is very Google-able -- it's not like I'm famous, but anyone doing a simple search for my first and last name can easily confirm I'm the person who pops up.
I'm not so worried about leaving a phone/email trail as much as I am public exposure. Everyone has their own level of comfort with burner phones, etc. but obviously there's no way I can avoid giving my real name to a provider. Is anyone in a similar situation? How do you feel about giving your very Google-able real name to providers? Is this simply a personal risk-reward situation and have you ever been exposed?
...your name to a provider! There are many providers who don't require your real name. In 12 years on TER, I can't recall ever giving my real name to a provider for screening purposes.
You can also join a service such as Preferred411 which keeps your screening info and does not reveal it to the provider.
Guys, BP is dead on right here. DONT give out your real name. Many, many girls will not ask for it so see those girls.
Stay clear from the gals asking for all that. People need to be reminded that p4p is illegal and there are some, not many, but some girls who could/would destroy your life with that info. The problem is you don't know which ones will protect your info and which ones wont.
The eight seconds of bliss isn't worth the lifetime of regrets.
P411 + TER handle with reviews and WLs always worked for me.
Nobody knows my real name so far.
Create P411 account and get more active on TER.
and we debate that subject every day here, but yes I have been exposed, and my personal information was splashed all over the internet.
In my case I don't really give a fuck as I am completely open about being a "whore mongering pig" so there really wasn't anyone to "out" me to, but I am living proof that there are people in this business that cannot be trusted with your personal information. If you are in a position unlike my own, where having your whore mongering exposed to the public would cause you harm, I would strongly suggest you follow BP's advice and join a verification service like P411, and for you to NOT join one of the services that hands out your personal info to every hooker that asks for it.
One last thing, there are many ladies that will INSIST you give them all of your personal info, including your REAL name before seeing you. This is a "risk reward" situation you will find yourself in sooner or later, but it is your choice whether or not to entrust her with the information. You do have the choice to simply say no and move onto the next lady who's requirements aren't so stringent. but DO NOT believe the people that will attempt to convince that the risk is minimal or even non existent, I am PROOF positive that some people can not be trusted with personal information.
There are a few providers who know my real name, but these are providers who have become friends, and I also know their real names. I have never given it out for screening for a first date, and actually have never been asked.
Thanks for the replies, but I'm surprised that you guys have been able to avoid revealing your name. I am a total newbie with zero references, and the providers I've been eyeing -- all well-reviewed with professional web presences -- all have online forms that a) ask for your real name, and b) require clients who have verified accounts with P411, etc. to ALSO have multiple okays from other providers, so even if I do get verified, I still don't have references. The providers also frequently include a note on their FAQs that says if first-time clients don't provide all the requested information, they will not respond, so I can't just not give a name.
I'm planning to see a DateCheck verified provider and hopefully have her vouch for me so that I can have the reference I need. But I've been reading this site for a while and I'm not sure I have many options for my first go-around other than employment/professional verification.
If you have p411 account, you can see ladies who are newbie friendly, ie they wont ask for reference. Then, you can ask them to be your references. There are many great ladies who are newbie friendly. Thats how I started.
I'm planning to see a DateCheck verified provider and hopefully have her vouch for me so that I can have the reference I need. But I've been reading this site for a while and I'm not sure I have many options for my first go-around other than employment/professional verification.
I use P411 for my first contact every time I see anyone new and never give my real name. Once you are a member you can look for newbie friendly providers and when you get a couple OKs you'll be good to go.
You will have to give P411 some personal info if you don't have references but I find then to be a trust worthy company based in Canada, IMHO safer for your info than a US based verification service.
but the reality is that only a small percentage will actually INSIST that you complete the form in order to see her. I have NEVER filled out one of those insipid forms and I have seen literally thousands of women over a period of several decades.
Don't let a handful of a very vocal minority of women browbeat you into believing that their way is the ONLY way. Someone else here gave you some very good advice, Join P411, see a provider that advertises that she is either newbie friendly or one that will see "basic' members" get them to "okay" you and you will be in like Flint with your verification issues behind you.
So YES, you can simply not give a name more often than not if that's the way you want to do things.
However, I completely endorse the advice given by BP, Jack, GaGa and PS for someone new to the hobby. Think of the information shared on this board as Best Practices that err on the side of caution. And that is exactly as it should be. After you gain some experience, you’ll be in a position to do the risk/reward calculation suggested by GG. But for now, play it extra safe and devote your energies to having the time of your life. Best of luck.
...I tell you my real name, I would tattoo your name on my ass! The one thing I won't do is fly to NY but if you're ever in L.A...
Thank you, Rasha, for the provider's perspective. I agree, it's all good advice. However, as a first-timer with no references, it seems like many providers still request basic personal info including real name, even if you are a member of a verification site.
Say I contacted you -- I'm a total newbie, no references. What info would you need to in order to see me? Is being a P411 member enough, or would you still at least ask for a name/business info?
You may have to see a couple ladies who aren't your first choice but are willing to see you, and show you a good time, just to get your foot in the door. Once you get a few OKs things get a lot easier
I also don't want my RL info out there. I saw two newbie friendly providers and then got a six month free trial on P411 and then renewed my P411 acct. Personally I would never reveal any RL info to a provider and if they insisted I would POLITELY move on. I can understand why some providers want a real name to verify, but to me it is a deal breaker