participate on your regional board, both discussion and ad boards. Let guys get to know you and that you are a legitimate provider just starting out. Post your once a week ad and vary the photos so that guys can get a glimpse of how attractive you are.
I am Genevieve a new provider here in the Richmond area. I would like to pose a few questions concerning aquirering positive reviews and meeting some mature gentlemen to see regularly. My concerns & questions are quite broad but I will do my best to stay concise and on topic... First, I am curious if the fact that I advertise on BP is off-putting to the average hobbyist? This is where I actually started a few months ago and I imagine will continue to be necessary until I become more known here. I have also found myself debating whether advertising there lessens me in the view of a typical hobbyist? Second, I have found that most people who contact me tend to make me very uncomfortable and nervous, with the nature of their inquiries and overall lack of etiquette! This actually causes me to accept/book very infrequently! Any suggestions to help me with verifying potential clientele would be great fellas! And last, if a provider ever has a nightmare of a meeting, with a gentleman that simply can not be pleased despite a providers best efforts, suggestions on how to respond properly to any potential unfair reviews would also be wonderful. Thanks so much for your attention to these matters, I will be eagerly awaiting your responses and look forward to engaging in some informative conversation.
1. I personally do not look at BP, so whether or not you do advertise there is not going to affect me and others like me. However I do see several very reputable provider who have told me that they advertise on BP, and often find many satisfactory clients from there, so even if I did find out you advertised on BP, it would not dissuade me from seeing you.
2. I suggest that you have a website, and on that website you prominently post rules regarding what people can and can not say to you when they contact you. Then any advertising you do should not only have a link to your site, but also state categorically that no one should try and contact you before they have read your website. When people do contact you, you should then ask if they have read your site and especially the information about what can be mentioned. If their response is anything less than a full "yes", then encourage them to go back and read it then contact you again. This will weed out the people you don't want to see.
3. Every provider gets a client and review from hell every now and then. If the review is completely bogus, for example the meeting never happened, contact TER and tell them so and offer whatever proof you might have. Sometimes TER will remove those reviews and sometimes they won't. Whatever they do decide to do, accept it and move on. Do not call attention to it by posting a thread about it. That will only be giving the negative review a wider audience, and mark you as someone who complains about reviews, which clients do not want.
I hope this has been helpful and that others jump in to correct or augment what I have written. There can be varying points of view on these subjects.
About BP, yes, it doesn't have the best reputation, but I know some quality providers who use it. It might depend on the location. I don't think you will be looked down on using BP, but you might not get as many calls as you would get from posting an ad somewhere else. If you have an ad posted somewhere, or a personal website, you can post an ad here once every 7 days. You need to get active in posting in the nearest regional board which is prob the DC board.
You don't have to put up with poor behavior by guys who contact you. Learn how to screen clients, and to do that, you might want to contact an experienced provider near you and ask if she would act as a mentor to you.
Reviews are tough. If he didn't like what you did, there prob isn't much you can do about it. Everyone has off days, and you can't always please everyone. If it's a legit review, just not a great one, admin will likely not remove it. If it's a fake, you have to convince admin that it's fake and they will remove it.
Lastly, read the self help center, it has lots of good info for making a successful journey in this hobby of ours. If you have any other questions then, feel free to come back here and ask them. If you want a private answer, feel free to PM me, as I am the host of this board.
My only issue is can I verify, as best I can, that you are not LE and you are a good match for my wants during a session.
Thats why the reviews are so valuable. I can get that info from them. I have seen many girls that have advertised on BP over the years and it has never been an issue with me so don't stop if you like it there.
I think you are smart to trust your instincts when it comes to seeing someone or not. Dont ever ignore that "uh oh" feeling you may get about a guy. I believe we have innate abilities to keep us from danger at times so I would heed those feelings if I were you.
As for the reviews, they will take care of themselves. Guys really hate when girls bitch and moan about a singular review, unless like Fish said, the meeting didnt take place.
Most guys will judge you on the totality of your reviews, not on any single review. If you do this long enough, you will get a bad review. Its going to happen. Let it roll off your back and dont do any PR damage to yourself by making it into a big drama issue.
As I was typing this up I see that mrfisher and swimtrekr came to the rescue. They are both highly respected members of the community. I almost deleted my post - but just think of it as another data point to consider. As you can already see the folks are quite friendly. I don't live in the Richmond area but I am a mature gentleman so I am in your target demo market. This is just my opinion - and as free advice you get what you pay for. LOL. But here are my thoughts-
I read your bp ad and thought it was intelligent and well written. You also have a number of very nice, tasteful photos of yourself (and you are lovely btw). So from that perspective I think you are well ahead of the pack. I personally don't have a problem with ladies that advertise on bp as long as the ad is sane and appealing. Many girls start on bp then eventually get their own web presence set up later. I wouldn't look down on you for advertising on bp. As long as you have a number of good reviews on TER.
Which from the look of the two you already have you are off to a good start. Until you get a number (some seem to think the critical mass is about 10) of good reviews you may have some difficulty finding clients. Which is a bit of a catch 22 as most guys won't see ladies until they have reviews but the ladies can't get the reviews until the gents come see her. But once the good reviews start rolling in (as they seem to be in your case) you should have things go much easier.
As far as verification the ladies should be able to help you there but it's usually done through provider referrals or referral sites like p411.
I'm sorry that you are getting strange or annoying inquiries. You should stick to your standards always. If a man can't be a gentleman then you don't want him as a client anyway. We gents sometimes think with our other heads but we should always try to be respectful of our ladies.
So my opinion is you are doing everything correctly so far. I assume you are putting up your weekly ad on your regional ad board? If not you should. Also networking is important to a new (and existing as well) provider. Get plugged into when there are meet and greets in your area. Introduce yourself not only to prospective clients but be friendly and polite to the other providers. The other providers can become your friends and be a valuable source of information.
Anyway, I hope that was helpful. I wish you the best of luck.
...What they didn't address were the hobbyists who frequent BP. Many of them are low-class bargain hunters. That's why you are encountering the lack of etiquette and inquiries that make you feel uncomfortable and nervous.
If you want to book more frequently, get off BP. You can join a site such as Preferred 411. They will help you with screening as well.
You should also get your own website. It doesn't have to be custom - there are sites that offer free or low cost templates.
Although it is a generalization, I would agree with your premise that many guys who shop on BP may be less desirable as clients than the "average" TER type hobbyist.
I have no way to prove that, but the OP can do her own experiment by not posting on BP for awhile and see if there is a change in her guys.
Of course she has to weigh that with a potential loss in income, if the other BP, lol, gave her a wealth of clients.
At least in Portland, I have found BP to be a crapshoot. I'll get 15 replies, 12 will be annoying and wankers. 2 will fizzle out because they want me to be FS and I'm not, and 1 might end up for coffee.
Thing is, while there's a lot of bargain hunter douchebags, there's also a lot of sweet men who don't know where else to go. I've found that the ones I connected with from there are SO GRATEFUL... and loyal as the day is long. Because you were the first girl they saw who wasn't the normal BP rifraff. So, present yourself well. Be articulate. And instead of being discouraged by people not using language in a reasonable way, be grateful that you've already deleted them from the TDL.
keep your chin up. It takes time, and it'll start to happen. I do suggest the website advice; and there's lots of premade templates that can help you create a comfortable corner of the internet for yourself.
I am truly thankful for all of your responses and the invaluable information that you've all dispensed. Perhaps I should have mentioned that I am currently in the process of building my own site, as well as joining P411. Unfortunately, these things have been put aside while I handle some personal family matters first. However, I now certainly see their importance clearly and need to elevate those task once more. That said, I must also admit I was taken aback a bit by everyone's generosity and I would like to thank you all yet again for your time and knowledge. I did think of yet one more issue if anyone cares to respond... If you view my profile you will see that my ad website is listed as "escortprofile". Well, the truth is I think this site actually copied and propagated one of my BP ads to their site without my knowledge. And, it must be where my first reviewer found my info and subsequently booked. Hence, eventually writing my first review which created my profile. Now, other than some minor info that's incorrect (IE: No Tats, On Time, Have an Email, etc) it list that site as my ad website rather than say BP. This is preventing me from posting a pic to the Picture Only Thread for example bc I can't copy any URL for those pics that I can figure. So, I assume I will have to put some pics up on a hosting site until my site is actually built. Is this correct? And also, is there a way to change my ad website from escortprofile to BP instead? Or should I just leave it alone until my site is complete? My concern is if I ask for it to be corrected, then something may not work correctly on BP as my site, and I will lose my ability to post weekly ads here as I can now do, which is why I've filed no problem report to correct anything. Mercy that was a mouth full! LoL Thanks again gentlemen so much for all your help. I truly hope I get the pleasure of earning some of your reviews in the future. Genevieve
If you screen clients from TER you can check their White List. The ladies who add their names to a hobbyist's White List are saying that he is a safe person to visit. Moreover, some of them will reply to emails and PMs with more specific info if you ask. You do get a higher class of clientele from TER, and we tend to know not to ask a lady any stupid questions!
participate on your regional board, both discussion and ad boards. Let guys get to know you and that you are a legitimate provider just starting out. Post your once a week ad and vary the photos so that guys can get a glimpse of how attractive you are.
Richmond is an absolutely delightful city to entertain in, and the gentlemen there have always treated me very well. While TER, P411, and Eros, are great places to advertise, do not allow anyone to change your views about BackPage. I rarely have to advertise for Richmond these days, but when I did, BP gentlemen were some of the best. BP is great for smaller cities. I would also suggest venturing out to Williamsburg, Charlottesville, and Virginia Beach.
Yes, definitely post a weekly ad on the Washington, DC Ad Board, and take part in discussions on the DC Boards.
Screening. Most ladies and gentlemen, including myself, will not share screening methods on a public board. Make no mistake; this is a public board. If you would like more information about screening, I will be more than happy to assist via my personal e-mail address: [email protected]
If I can be of further assistance, do not hesitate to ask. Keep in mind: there are no stupid questions.
...1. Make e-mail and/or TER private messages your method of contact for clients. Don't have your phone number on your ads (or web site). If the guys have to e-mail you that will cut out some of the less desirable. Then any e-mails that are inappropriate can be deleted and ignored. You give the gent your phone number after he has passed your screening. (I know you may be already doing this but it didn't sound like it from your post.)
Ads on BP aren't a problem. I don't look on BP but many do. Some will say never go on BP but there are good providers on BP. From the mongers point of view he just has to look harder. From the provider's point of view you have to deal with the ones that make you "uncomfortable and nervous" to find a good client so
2. Use the TER ad boad and once you're able start using BP less and some other ad site more.
From your post, I clicked to your linked Profile. Your profile only has the URL for your escortprofilexxx listing. THAT listing mentions that "My friends and I are on AFF". I had to do a separate search on BP for your listing.
As for me, my primary current awareness tool (search engine) is TER. If it's a well reviewed provider with a well known presence in the forums I don't care where she advertises ... usually. I have actually read about more bad experiences using AFF than BP. I do not willingly visit AFF; it's usually by clicking what seems like a reasonable link. AFF has annoying popups, tries to trick me into clicking on other links, is a lousy user experience and makes me think "scam artists".
I do notice that you have two tel numbers so I can mention a trick used by some. They advertise in one place (BP, eg) and only use Number-1 in that ad. In another place (Eros, Slixa, ...), they only use Number-2 in that ad. From the number of inquiries AND the number of successfully closed deals with the kind of clients they want, they get an idea of which ad is working better and where to spend their ad money most efficiently. Imagine what you can do with THREE phone numbers!
Someone else mentioned P411 for screening, advertising and making connections. There is also Date-Check.com and RS2K (RS2000) and maybe some others. Find out what is popular in your area.
Did you consider working with an agency or booking agent in your area. YOU have to trust them to do proper screening and so on and that THEY understand your limits and preferences (as listed on your ads) and not put you in an awkward situation. But it could make it easier to build up a reputation in the early going.
I had some other suggestions but maybe I'll post later.
Forgive me, but, when I reread my first reply thanking you all I feel that I wasn't as clear as I should have been. First let me respond to the AFF info however... I have never advertised on their site either, and it seems that they add that part to the body of my actual BP ad when it is copied over to the other site (escortprofile). Basically, here is what happened in detail. I never intended any of my advertising on BP to be public knowledge here at TER bc I wasn't sure exactly how it would be viewed, and I too feel that I could expect on average a higher level of clientele here. So, I joined TER while I was in the process of building my own site. My intentions were to use the URL to my site in my first weekly ad here, and then hopefully receive my first review from said ad thus creating my profile. Well, an enormous number of issues began to pop up in the creation of my site delaying it for some time. Then, one day I notice that I suddenly have my first review and my profile had been created. Now, while my review is honest and fine as is the gentleman that gave it to me. It became appearant to me that some of the info in my profile was incorrect. These were minor things as I stated in my earlier reply like the fact that I have no tats, I do have an email, the first phone number I simply changed to the current one (the second one listed), and most importantly my ad website listed I had never even heard of. So I looked into it all and came to think that this site (probably in conjunction with AFF) must copy BP ads over to their site. And furthermore, I guess that is where my first reviewer must have seen my info and subsequently myself. Now, this did however finally create my TER profile and allow me to begin posting in the weekly ad section which I do every week. So, I have been reluctant to file any problem report in fear of the following. If I do, and have it successfully changed to say BP (as my site is still unfinished), will it even work. Meaning, my ads on BP are only for 24 hours per ad, and only stay active for a limited time before expirering. Now that said, I most likely will request some of the minor profile information to be corrected/updated soon. As for the ad website issue, I'm thinking I should just leave it alone until my site is finished but that has been taking me forever with no end in sight. So, if anyone wishes to take a stab at how to have it changed to my BP ads instead feel free to educate me please! I just wanted to know that it will continue to work say three or four weeks down the road once that original ad has expired. And lastly, I have absolutely no desire to work with any agency even though there are some reputable ones out there I'm sure. I just prefer to stay independent and feel much safer in doing so as well. Once more gentlemen thank you for your time and attention to all my inquires. And oh yes! Reading up on that White List thing along with pretty much everything in the self-help section.
I strongly urge you to consider not offering 1/2 hour dates any longer. I get that everyone has a budget, but there seems to be a certain, less-than-desirable "type" of client who is interested in 1/2 hour dates. You may also want to consider offering multi hr packages.
A professional website with your own domain name is great too in terms of branding. Squarespace has some awesome (and very affordable) packages. Cuties Tools is another good yet affordable option.
occassional trips up to Northern VA. You seem to be a lovely lady and if you advertise on the DC board, you could probably get a full dance card before arriving. Then make NoVA an occassional trip for you. Its not far at all. There are alot of very respectalbe hobbyist in NoVA.
I would say advertising on Bp is no big deal, as people will search various sites to find the type of person they are looking for. Idk about the verification aspect that's a real problem, maybe you can share emails over time and get a feel for a person. I'm not sure how much volume you do, or need to do. Pertaining to bad reviews, I think other providers would be best in letting you know how to deal with that, however I would say for someone (without a mental condition) to take the time to blast someone on this site, similar to when a business gets blasted on yelp, there is something there. Likely the expectations of how the meeting should go where not clear at the beginning. Hope that helps
I've been a provider for 4 years, although this persona is new. So I'm going through the same "newbie" phase, just with more experience. It can be daunting and exhausting. Keep going and breathe.
As for the guys who email you using weird language.... well, I figure it's a fabulous screening tool. If they can't be bothered to use sentences, punctuation and be gentlemanly on first contact, they won't be in session. So, that tells you you need to find new places to advertise, and find ways to present yourself in an attractive way to men who are linguistically inclined. It's a process, but it does build on itself.
I hope you are able to get what you need fast and do it without dealing with rude people that make you nervous.
I am new to this hobby and just would like to give my 2cents. Basic research from reading/researching on the subject I realized the providers run the show. A provider should not have to put up with anything that would make her uncomfortable. At the end of the day the guy is paying YOU $$$ for your time not the other way around.
I can only say that I truly appreciate all the info that you have all given. I will certainly be taking it all to heart and heading it as well. I would also like to personally thank those of you that have reached out to help me personally and I will certainly be contacting you individuals through a more private means very soon. Once again, your information has been sorely needed and I now see that I still have a lot of work to do. Thank you all so very much for just being yourselves and I really hope to have the pleasure of perhaps meeting some of you irl before too long!
While looking at your BP ads, I noticed you used some unnecessary abbreviations ("2" for "to" and "conts" for "continues"). For those of us of a certain age and anal retentiveness, that's a turnoff. Since you're trying to attract mature regulars, consider that the gentlemen you seek will be impressed by a lady who takes the time to spell out words in her ads, even on BP. It may seem like a small thing, but it's one of those subtle hints that the lady is educated and thoughtful; that will make you stand out even more on BP with the clientele you hope to attract.
First, I would like to say thank you for your insight. I was actually horrified this afternoon when I noticed that I misspelled the word advice in the title of my last reply in this very thread. I do take the construction of my ads very seriously and absolutely recognize them as an opportunity to try an set myself apart from others. However, there is an issue concerning advertising on BP that you may be unaware of darling. Unfortunately, for several weeks now the ads that I have been posting are actually quite different from what I had in mind originally at the time of their posting. You see, they have a limited number of words and or keystrokes that may be used in the advertisement. So, I have been forced to alter from my original wording several times before their system will allow my ad to post. Basically, I have written my ads and then clicked on the submit button only to have the system tell me that the advertisement has too many words. I then try very hard to keep the format and wording as close to the original as possible. However, lately it seems that I have had to not only redact the majority of my ad, but, have been forced to also use the abbreviations that you have brought to my attention. In closing, this actually brings a question to mind that you perhaps can offer some insight to. It seems to me that other ladies advertisements on BP have many more words/keystrokes than what the system is allowing me to have. If you happen to know of any tricks or techniques that will aide me in being able to express myself there in the manner that I intend, by all means please let me know. Again, thank you for your thoughts and advice with these matters.
Unfortunately, I know little to nothing about posting ads on BackPage. There may be some other folks here who are more knowledgeable about that. In the meantime, I'm sending you a PM with an editing suggestion for one of your ads.
I appreciate a lady who cares enough about her online appearance to focus on the little things. Perhaps I can make my way to the Richmond area one day and express my appreciation in a more tangible manner.
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Genevieve
So, if anyone wishes to take a stab at how to have it changed to my BP ads instead feel free to educate me please! I just wanted to know that it will continue to work say three or four weeks down the road once that original ad has expired. And lastly, I have absolutely no desire to work with any agency even though there are some reputable ones out there I'm sure. I just prefer to stay independent and feel much safer in doing so as well. Once more gentlemen thank you for your time and attention to all my inquires. And oh yes! Reading up on that White List thing along with pretty much everything in the self-help section.