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The Weakest Link ... and other thoughts
impposter 49 Reviews 459 reads
posted

I don't know what your major concerns are (girlfriend, wife, kids, church, job, political position, ...) but I don't think that the number of reviews (which are works of fiction, I might add) will matter.  

A woman scorned won't care if it was ONCE or twice or fifty. You're screwed.  Even if you try the old, "But there was only one review, I only did it once!" you won't even get all the words out before you're called not credible.  One post is one too many.  One review is one too many. Heck, even registering and logging in might be the nail in the coffin for some!!  

A church elder might take your side and offer, "But it was only 4 times.  Even JC sought comfort with Mary Magdalene. Surely we can excuse these few dalliances."  Bzzzzzzzzzzzz.  You're busted.  

Dick Morris was a close adviser to Bill Clinton and his cat slipped out of the bag.  But that was without the benefit or anonymity of TER.

With that out of the way, even though you think your opinions might differ from what seems like the mainstream, others will learn to trust (or not trust) your opinions for what they are.  I have MY opinions on pretty faces and those who read my reviews and seen the same girls have an idea that my 9-face (6-face) might be their 6-face (9-face) and will know how to interpret my other reviews.  (If I report another 9, they will translate that to their 9 or their 6 and decide what to do.)

I assume that you will be benefiting from the reviews of others since you will check them out before going out on a mission.  You owe it others and future others to post reviews every now and then.  It adds to your credibility.  If you only post one review per 18 months, very few will know what your personal rating scale actually is.  More reviews lets others get a feel for your reliability or how to use your reviews.  

I can probably come up with many other reasons.  But ...

You should absolutely be careful and protect your privacy and security.  It only takes one weak link to break it open and THAT'S more important than actual numbers or content.  

Ask more questions or bounce around ideas as decide which way to go.  

And good luck

WeirdHobbyist2023 reads

I realize this is a strange question on some level given the nature of the site, but how do the rest of you get comfortable submitting reviews?

The downsides in my view include creating a longer and easier to follow paper trail.  I am very worried about creating a publicly viewable list of my (still relatively few) exploits as that seems indiscreet to me.  How do the rest of you get comfort on the risk of reviewing?

On the other side, the only persuasive reason I can see to review is to help providers I like attract clients.  Which is totally fair and reasonable.  However, it's actually not obvious that reviewing would accomplish that goal given that I've only seen established ladies and I seem to have a different scale for "hotness" than the average hobbyist here (I can "shift" my mental scale, but that seems unfair to the providers I've seen who I really think are 9s and 10s).  So if I review I probably end up submitting a "worse than average" review even though I liked the women and she probably doesn't need the extra review.  It's hard to see how that accomplishes the goal of helping her.

Any suggestions?

...if the provider provides what we are looking for. Is she legitimate, not a scam or rip-off. Good reviews would of course help the provider but that isn't the purpose of this Review site (TER).  

You use an alias (your handle) here only you know who you are unless you share it with someone. Don't do that. You can use an alias (not your handle) to review under. This makes it pretty discrete.  

Check the Self-Help Center for how to to remain anonymous as possible. Clear your browsing history, etc.

WeirdHobbyist592 reads

I get that the reviews are for the guys.  However, with all respect, reviews strike me as a bit of a tragedy of the commons situation as I don't benefit much from posting them and I perceive costs to posting them related to information security.  I also think that my reviews are not high value to the community because everyone I've seen is well established and I would mostly be echoing previous reviews, but perhaps that's the wrong way to think about it.

What am I missing?  

On your latter point, I have read the self help center and more or less exclusively use TER through TOR.  I am probably as careful about that stuff as almost anyone in the hobby (though I made some concessions to practicality.  One of the posts in cleaning your digital tracks recommends some stuff which is hard for me to implement but which would be better than what I do use and I'm aware of that).  

That said, the best digital information security in the world is worse than simply not having the information be available.  Given that it is possible (albeit unlikely) that someone could "crack" TER, why would I upload potentially sensitive information onto it?

who has scores of reviews isn't going to materially affect anyone.

But now and then you may come upon an up and coming gal who could use a review; or from whom other hobbyists should be warned, in that unfortunate circumstance.

As for personal security, what you describe I suppose could happen, but the likelihood would seem to be very remote.

Is what you get from reviewing worth what you risk? Only you know the answer to that since only you know what you are risking. Other than reviews credited to your handle you don't get much though some credibility here does come with having reviews. If that doesn't have value for you then you don't get much. Reviews do help a provider know you are legit which can be useful when screening you. White lists are useful also but reviews aren't required to be white listed. Having reviews gives you standing here leading to others being willing to communicate with you via back channel (PM's) when you may ask about a provider they have seen.

mrfisher has a point in that you may not always see well established ladies that don't need your review. There are some here that only review if the provider is new so the reviews would be of benefit to her and other mongers or if the community needed to be warned about her for some reason.

Reviews earn free VIP days. You can of course pay for VIP, I do. But I let the paid VIP lapse occasionally and don't renew until the days I've earned are used up.

Bottom line I'm single, I don't conduct my business here as if I don't care about my information getting out but the chances of that are very slim. My situation makes my risk less than someone with a wife, SO, or girl friend and/or family around

The reviews are for all hobbyists...be they male or female.
Just wanted to clarify.

-- Modified on 8/10/2014 2:38:39 PM

Mr Fisher is right on the money.

WH, I'm sure I'm not alone in this, but I have gotten more client inquiries within a day or two of a new review posting, than ANY other advertising venue except BP (which was full of time-wasters that don't know how to read websites). I get more inquiries from a new review on TER than I do when I post an actual ad on TER's ad board. Gals like me that really suck at writing ads really benefit from the gents we acquire from new reviews.

And, when ladies that have an upcoming appointment with you do their research, they can read your reviews to become a better provider. Like Coke Zero, FC's and buttsex? Dislike hand action during a BJ and over-the-top dirty talking? Well, a lady is going to read that and be a better provider for you. :)

I think xyz said to post reviews under an alias. This is a good idea. No one can see your real handle except for the ladies that Whitelist your alias.

WeirdHobbyist406 reads

Thanks for the thoughtful and informative reply.

If I ask women I see whether they'd like to be reviewed, would that be weird?  I don't see myself writing a review immediately after meeting for a variety of reasons (chiefly that I'm a busy person), unless I had something that I thought was important to say positive or negative.  I suppose I'd be unlikely to offer to write a review for someone I saw and disliked, so perhaps that's not fair to the community (but I could see myself writing a review if I had a really bad experience, it's modestly bad I'm unlikely to bother with).

If it boosts the provider's businesses, that a good reason in my own mind.  As I have said several times now, I am just not that interested (again will all the respect in the world) in most of the "hobbyist side" benefits nor do I think these benefits are meaningful for most of the reviews I could write.  If it helps the women I saw (several of whom are just awesome people and I would like to help them if I can) that seems like a better reason than writing review #58 mentioning the amazing bbbj to provide slightly more incremental info to the hobbyists.

As far as providing a road map of what I like, that could be interesting and is definitely something to think about.  I think I'm pretty all over the map, so if anyone could find a common thread in my reviews of fictional encounters to latch onto it would be quite impressive.

If you want to use this site without contributing reviews you are free to do so, you might catch a little crap if you ask for info on a particular girl without having reviewed any but that's just the way it goes. You may also get fewer responses if you PM other guys to ask for info because they think you lack credibility without reviews.
 It's not the end of the world if you don't write reviews, do it if you want to and don't do it if you don't want to.

Posted By: WeirdHobbyist
Thanks for the thoughtful and informative reply.  
   
 If I ask women I see whether they'd like to be reviewed, would that be weird?  I don't see myself writing a review immediately after meeting for a variety of reasons (chiefly that I'm a busy person), unless I had something that I thought was important to say positive or negative.  I suppose I'd be unlikely to offer to write a review for someone I saw and disliked, so perhaps that's not fair to the community (but I could see myself writing a review if I had a really bad experience, it's modestly bad I'm unlikely to bother with).  
   
 If it boosts the provider's businesses, that a good reason in my own mind.  As I have said several times now, I am just not that interested (again will all the respect in the world) in most of the "hobbyist side" benefits nor do I think these benefits are meaningful for most of the reviews I could write.  If it helps the women I saw (several of whom are just awesome people and I would like to help them if I can) that seems like a better reason than writing review #58 mentioning the amazing bbbj to provide slightly more incremental info to the hobbyists.  
   
 As far as providing a road map of what I like, that could be interesting and is definitely something to think about.  I think I'm pretty all over the map, so if anyone could find a common thread in my reviews of fictional encounters to latch onto it would be quite impressive.

I choose to not post any reviews and FWIW I have not had any backlash. But then again my experiences with providers are bound to be a bit different then your average hobbyist, so I rarely seek other hobbyists out with questions.  
If a provider really wanted me to post a review I would do it. But so far none have specifically requested it.

I think it's fairly commonplace to ask a provider if she'd like a review. :)

You've been given some excellent advice here.  I'll include my thoughts as up until recently I was in the same frame of mind (on not posting reviews).  As already stated as with anything in life only you can decide if the benefit is worth the risk.  There is risk to virtually everything we do in life and always consequences of our action or inaction.
 
I was a lurker for a long time for various reasons including a concern about my security.  The hobby community is just that - a community.  If you look at it as a social construct we should try to help and protect each other in a society that thinks what we do with our spare time and money is both legally and morally reprehensible.  It's a shame that as a country we still haven't broken free of our puritan shackles.  And it doesn't look like things will change anytime soon.  But here we are.

And we have to decide to either participate and make things better, safer and easier or sit back and do nothing and bitch about the way things are.  Everyone has to make a choice which direction is right for them.  I decided (again only recently) to begin posting to tell about my experiences.  I wanted to let others know what girls have treated me very well.  Or, if and when (hopefully it won't) what ladies haven't treated me well.  Of course this is of benefit to both the ladies and the gents.  The ladies essentially get a bit of free advertising and the gents (assuming I am a fairly unbiased reporter - but we all are biased one way or another aren't we?) will have another well written review to read to base their decisions on.  There are folks that actively participate in political action in an effort to make things better and there are those that whine and cry about how awful things are.  This community is no different.  But as we are an already marginalized (and often demonized) portion of "normal" society I think it is important for us to each do our part in staying safe and informed.

One other thing that I didn't see mentioned in the excellent advice above is that as you build your reputation it can serve you well.  If you are polite, fair and consistent in your postings and review writing you will establish yourself in the community.  And this should help others - both gents and ladies understand what kind of person you are.  Are you helpful and informative or are you belligerent and cranky?  Understandably some post under aliases and nothing against them but if you post under your "real" handle this will be the case.  And IMHO if you write a good, thorough review it can be your board presence which ladies can read about and get hints on what you are like and what you like.  For ladies that do their homework and read someone's reviews prior to agreeing to see them (and I know a few) this can be very helpful in both directions.  The lady can see if they might be a good match and the gent can pre-establish some of his likes and dislikes as they will already be included in his well written review.  I personally like the idea of a lady being interested enough (and conscientious enough) to read some of my reviews prior to agreeing to meet me.  I think it is smart and shows that she is using all of the information at her disposal to make a decision about me.

But none of this will convince you either way.  You, like I did, will have to make up your own mind.  There is nothing wrong with sitting on the sidelines - I did it for a long time.  Just try not to bitch too much about the game if you're not willing to join in yourself.  :-)    Cheers.

...I touched on your point about reputation but didn't develop it. I'm glad you covered that.

You're very welcome.  And thank you for getting me thinking about it with your post.

Posted By: xyz23
...I touched on your point about reputation but didn't develop it. I'm glad you covered that.

Lots of good advice here!  As has been suggested, I too always encourage the ladies I'm meeting for the first time to read my reviews.  I think they will find out what kind of guy I am.  It seems to fast track the screening process in my experience.

I don't know what your major concerns are (girlfriend, wife, kids, church, job, political position, ...) but I don't think that the number of reviews (which are works of fiction, I might add) will matter.  

A woman scorned won't care if it was ONCE or twice or fifty. You're screwed.  Even if you try the old, "But there was only one review, I only did it once!" you won't even get all the words out before you're called not credible.  One post is one too many.  One review is one too many. Heck, even registering and logging in might be the nail in the coffin for some!!  

A church elder might take your side and offer, "But it was only 4 times.  Even JC sought comfort with Mary Magdalene. Surely we can excuse these few dalliances."  Bzzzzzzzzzzzz.  You're busted.  

Dick Morris was a close adviser to Bill Clinton and his cat slipped out of the bag.  But that was without the benefit or anonymity of TER.

With that out of the way, even though you think your opinions might differ from what seems like the mainstream, others will learn to trust (or not trust) your opinions for what they are.  I have MY opinions on pretty faces and those who read my reviews and seen the same girls have an idea that my 9-face (6-face) might be their 6-face (9-face) and will know how to interpret my other reviews.  (If I report another 9, they will translate that to their 9 or their 6 and decide what to do.)

I assume that you will be benefiting from the reviews of others since you will check them out before going out on a mission.  You owe it others and future others to post reviews every now and then.  It adds to your credibility.  If you only post one review per 18 months, very few will know what your personal rating scale actually is.  More reviews lets others get a feel for your reliability or how to use your reviews.  

I can probably come up with many other reasons.  But ...

You should absolutely be careful and protect your privacy and security.  It only takes one weak link to break it open and THAT'S more important than actual numbers or content.  

Ask more questions or bounce around ideas as decide which way to go.  

And good luck

WeirdHobbyist510 reads

You make several good points.  I doubt anyone on here wants to be outed (on either side), so without getting into details of why I think it is sufficient to note I worry about it.

On whether I really believe fewer reviews are better, I agree that it matters very little in almost all scenarios how many I've actually posted.  Reading your post I realize I may be deluding myself to some extent, but my basic theory is that I would strongly prefer not to create a publicly viewable record of my adventures.  Let me try to elaborate on what I'm worried about, perhaps you can convince me it's ridiculous.

I'm sure that other people are familiar with the stories about violent criminals posting about illegal actions on their facebook accounts or twitter feeds.  I have always thought people posting about how they totally just shot a dude for real on facebook were idiots.  While TER is a very different sort of community, how different is posting a review of your time with a provider?  The review does create a public record of a (fictional) act.  The only difference is that this isn't associated with your real name (in public anyway).

Even if I can't exactly envision the scenario where the reviews bite me in the ass beyond just having the account and posting, it seems like it's incrementally riskier to review than not.

On the community responsibility point, I hear it and wish to be respectful of it, but I struggle to find it motivating.

Thanks for the extremely thoughtful response.

Posted By: WeirdHobbyist
I'm sure that other people are familiar with the stories about violent criminals posting about illegal actions on their facebook accounts or twitter feeds.  I have always thought people posting about how they totally just shot a dude for real on facebook were idiots.  While TER is a very different sort of community, how different is posting a review of your time with a provider?  The review does create a public record of a (fictional) act.  The only difference is that this isn't associated with your real name (in public anyway).
Murder, breaking and entering, auto theft, "wilding" or "knockout" assaults (even the paint ball attack spree in FL) are criminal offenses involving unwilling VICTIMS.  The fictional accounts  on TER are, if true, things that occur among consenting adults and are still considered (only) misdemeanors under current law.  On the assumption that you are Eliot Spitzer experiencing a relapse, I would rather hope that you would challenge the current laws in court and fight -- or at least testify -- for legalization.

From another perspective, the major legal actions mentioned on TER of late involve agency busts for money laundering, tax evasion and things like that.  Once in a while, a local politician needs a headline with arrests of Johns or Janes but I think (please correct me) that's rare in most places (more common on Long Island, NY etc.)

WeirdHobbyist411 reads

It was not my intent to draw a moral equivalence between the fictional acts on TER and violent crime.  

You addressed the intent of my question in the second paragraph.

I should add, about the way they got Spitzer ... there were large cash transactions that his bank reported to the authorities.  Now, I'm pretty sure that the absolute requirement for reporting cash movement is $10,000. However, even though Spitzer was withdrawing smaller amounts each time, the total amounts raised suspicions and triggered reporting.  He wasn't tripped up by a computer cookie, his wife finding a strange number on his cell phone or knowing what "TER" is when you're not supposed to ... it was the IRS / Feds

I'm fortunate, I'm divorced and don't have a SO. So, I'm not at all concerned about any kind of a paper trail and I have nothing to hide from anyone. Remember, submitting reviews is a fictitious account of a relaxing time spent in the company of a wonderful woman.

I disagree that the only reason for reviewing is to help a lady advertise. It's also a means to inform your fellow hobbyists how wonderful she really is and what can be anticipated while in her company. If it weren't for your fellow hobbyist's reviews, you would have known ahead of time that you would've gotten along with her as well as you did. You are serving the entire sport when you review.

WeirdHobbyist459 reads

Everyone has their own reasons for wanting to be discreet, not sure mine matter.  I respect and applaud your attitude despite the fact that it's hard for me to be on the same page.

I am very grateful to everyone else who reviewed the ladies I've seen as they've all been wonderful, which is a big part of why I'm even trying to get comfortable with posting reviews (very easy for me to maintain no review status quo).  That said, I have reservations which is why I asked for feedback

InLustOfBigBust371 reads

Just wondering if us hobbyists can post some reviews using our normal TER handles and other reviews using our alias handle?  If so, is there any downside risk to this?  Thanks......

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