Thanks, all.
I understand why providers ask for references if they haven't met you before. But what to do when this doesn't work? Recently I was emailing with a lady after seeing her ad. Sent her email addresses for three prior refs, two of them had just a couple of months earlier been kind enough to respond when I was arranging a get-together with a different lady. But this time, none of my refs replied. I'm not dissing them or anything, could be they were busy, or something. After all it's summertime. So the lady in question and I agreed to postpone.
If that happens, what would the ladies accept as an alternative? The lady suggested I give her a social media page, like Facebok or Linked In. I was surprised and without really thinking about it said I didn't have any. Is giving that seen as useful to providers?
So would appreciate advice, thoughts here. I don't belong to any on-line verification sites, am not really interested in doing that if I can avoid. Thanks!
I suggest you take another look at the verification sites. It's their business to serve as an intermediary between hobbyists and providers without abusing any personal information; if they did that they would end up out of business. On the other hand, if you give your personal info to the wrong provider and things go sideways, she could use it against you. Most providers aren't going to do that sort of thing but it does happen.
only way to go in my book. They are there for a reason if the rep is well, reputable. I have received plenty of social media pages myself as part of screening. But the fact of the matter is, unless Johnny has a photo with the current date that 'matches' the social media page he is sending, no way to tell if it's really 'him'. Too many scenarios, too many games unfortunately.
Join a verification site. I highly recommend. Takes the guess work out of many, many things for 'both' sides of the equation and a mountain of headaches. References work (on occasion) if they aren't faked for a gentleman friend (which yes, does happen, sad to say).
If you want to 'avoid' the issues in getting screened, you already answered your question I'm afraid. And in the words of Nike...Just Do It.
I have had issues with the advice that both of you have given here from time to time, but I don't have a single word of criticism about the advice either of you have given in this thread.
Well done, both of you.
either of us were asking for your bit of approval here, but thank you???? I guess???? We are quite capable women ya know, more than just opening up our legs and mouths believe it or not lol. Anyhow, Swim holds the title for Board King on this turf, as the true gentleman he is and thensome. As far as I'm concerned, getting kudos from him would mean something to me, you? not so much. I'm not quite sure what title you hold, although I'm sure I can think of something suitable just for you. 
-- Modified on 8/5/2014 3:20:08 PM
I moderated this board for over two years before passing the reins to Swim.
I guess we can chalk that up to yet one more thing you had no idea about.
There are MANY capable women here, you just usually are not one of them. but I will give credit where it's due. With you the bar has been set so low that anything not completely BSC is a marked improvement. So take my kudos or not, it matters little to me. The advice to the newbs is what's important, and for a change your advice was spot on.
Your response seems a lil 'defensive' to me. Swim's response is the only one that matters to me.
-- Modified on 8/5/2014 6:05:41 PM
I am sure I am sometimes offensive, but NEVER defensive.
And I am sure Swim is thrilled about how important his opinion is to you. If he were to die tonight, he would die a happy man after reading your post.
I'm not sure why you're so concerned about it. He's a grown man capable of making his own decisions with a gentleman's grace and poise absent in quite a few others here. Don't change who you are for anyone Gambler, you would certainly upset ALOT of people here.....but not me in the least. Carry on then, just the way you are and I'll happily carry on, just the way I am, despite your infinite criticisms and pleasantries. At least we've seemingly come to neutral ground that this is something we can both agree on, in some way. Certainly works for me. I'm afraid Gambler, whoever you are, you just don't count in any fashion or on any level with me and never will. I'm quite certain you can live with that as can I.
-- Modified on 8/6/2014 6:48:58 AM
I like to think that Date-Check got me my first provider for which I was very happy with her service. People invests in their hobby.
Paul
Their servers are not in the US, but places where this enterprise is legal. At P411, Gina and her staff will work with you to verify you. It's better to have your info at one place, as opposed to giving out personal data to several providers. A lifetime membership there is a good value, as it is with DateCheck. RS2K is popular in the midwest, not so much in other parts of the country.
Swim