Delicate conversations are best done in a format where there is not the ability to record or to keep records, regardless of how many times you have met a lady. That said, especially when your desires involve equipment, special attire, etc., saying something in advance is quite possibly a good diea. There are ways to say what you want to say in ways that won't set off alarms...
"Hey, I saw this great video the other day where a lady had a fellow hog tied and tortured him to no end with an electro-stimulator while he was wearing anal beads. That lady was so hot in her leather corset and 5-inch heels. I thought it was super hot! Do you have a leather corset? Have you ever played with electrocution?"vs.
"Will you hog tie me and...while wearing..." Personally my reply would be something along the lines of, "I haven't really had the opportunity to play with electro-stims even though I've gone to workshops about them. Got one? I'd love to check it out! Do you think a silk bustier is as sexy as a leather corset?" Got it? Don't make an offer and encourage acceptance. Don't think mentioning your fantasies is a sure fire way to have them fulfilled. Don't worry so much that you don't share your desires. Do try to be discreet and not create potential legal concerns for the lady. Aaaand... have fun!
Is it still bad form to more openly discuss wishes or desires on the phone after you've had a successful visit with a provider and have been invited back? Should I book again and wait until I'm there to bring these things up? Or, are things looser once you've gotten the whole getting-to-know-you out of the way?
...the first session, some still want some discretion. I like to leave these types of discussions for PM here on TER even after several times of seeing the lady. PM or e-mail and ask if she's ok with more specific questions since you have passed screening and seen her.
usually it is up to the lady..but i have found once the ice is broken..everything flows freely..
I'd be "reticent" to book a second date.
Her job is to please YOU. If she plays coy games or simply refuses to discuss your predilections after meeting and verifying you're not LE she would be "leading you on".
Delicate conversations are best done in a format where there is not the ability to record or to keep records, regardless of how many times you have met a lady. That said, especially when your desires involve equipment, special attire, etc., saying something in advance is quite possibly a good diea. There are ways to say what you want to say in ways that won't set off alarms...
"Hey, I saw this great video the other day where a lady had a fellow hog tied and tortured him to no end with an electro-stimulator while he was wearing anal beads. That lady was so hot in her leather corset and 5-inch heels. I thought it was super hot! Do you have a leather corset? Have you ever played with electrocution?"
vs.
"Will you hog tie me and...while wearing..."
Personally my reply would be something along the lines of, "I haven't really had the opportunity to play with electro-stims even though I've gone to workshops about them. Got one? I'd love to check it out! Do you think a silk bustier is as sexy as a leather corset?"
Got it? Don't make an offer and encourage acceptance. Don't think mentioning your fantasies is a sure fire way to have them fulfilled. Don't worry so much that you don't share your desires. Do try to be discreet and not create potential legal concerns for the lady. Aaaand... have fun!
J/K
8o)
That's great advice. I've hobbied enough to know what I really like and not enough to have the conversational kinks worked out.
I didn't think what I really loved was weird but the first few ladies I asked for this from gave me grimaces and refusals or the lady would grudgingly only oblige, but it was never hot. I've begun to contact ladies who advertise as fetish specialists and have had better luck. What I'm into the fetish girls think is pretty vanilla. I thought it was, too.
So, just to be clear, what I'm into doesn't involve kids or pets or pain or scat. It involves pushing one part of a woman's beautiful body against it's lovely twin, dripping a little oil between them (or spit, I had one lady who would just look down and spit on me in between them while we went, it was fantastic) and letting the bishop spend time in God's country. I just love it.
Advice like this goes a long way.
IMO, I think it's best to keep discussions like that on a face-to-face basis. If you've been given the OK for a return visit, either discuss new stuff before you leave, or when you return. If talked about on a return visit, a 3rd visit may be needed to fulfill your request(s).
Swim
I make it a rule carved in stone never to discuss anything in an email or over the phone. Not sure if the cops are wring turned tricks or hookers yet but I want to lessen the chances of having anything in writing or on tape about illegal activities.
If mongers are not okay with my level of discretion, please, feel free to go somewhere else.