And then again the day of.
If you're actively trying hammer out a date for an appointment with her it's reasonable to make a clothing request when you get a date set.
Ok. So I actually have 2 questions. First one pertains to following up with a provider for upcoming appointment. I booked one in advance with a provider whom I have not met. She confirmed our date and time over a week in advance. Its almost a week away and I wanted to send an email just confirming the scheduled time. I guess I'm paranoid since I have very limited time and I've been cancelled on at the last minute by 2 providers recently. Which is extraordinarily frustrating given the fact that I arrange have very little free time and would have to wait a few weeks just to set up another appointment. So am I being a pest by verifying before the appointment?
Question 2.... Is it acceptable to email a provider that you have seen in reference to requests for future appointment (the future appointment is not made yet... Trying to determine dates). Or is that not appropriate? I had a good time with a recent provider but I wanted to make some attire requests and activity requests. I did not get into specifics... Just asking what the best method to communicate that with her was. But since I don't actually have another appointment yet, is that not appropriate? Is that something to ask only if making and confirming an upcoming appointment?
I'm the type of person that likes my "ducks in a row".. Ok so maybe a little "anal"... More ways than one 
1. It's perfectly all right to confirm, just don't make a pest of yourself. I'd wait until 2-3 days before the scheduled date to reconfirm.
2. Any provider you want to use as a reference should be notified by you ahead of time. Surprise calls from other providers are generally not appreciated. If you have not told the ref you are using you, she might not remember who you are when the other provider contacts her. You should have asked if she would ref you in the future before you left her, but it's still appropriate to let her know so-and-so might contact her to vouch for you.
Swim
rather discussing subjects such as clothing requests, etc.
I would say yes, it is fine if you have seen the gal but again, don't go overboard and pester her with daily emails. One or two should be the limit until you do make a firm appointment with her
As to the first question, I check in with a gal about a month and then a week before a long range appointment was set up, and then again the day before. I think most gals like it when the client reinforces the commitment.
That's correct... I'm not asking for a reference in this case. If I do ask for a reference, I would ask her permission at the end of our session. It was more of a request of "slow and sensual" as opposed to "wild and dirty". I had not actually verbalized any requests in emails yet. I had assumed once you've met a lady your comfortable with, then perhaps an email or 2 would be ok
Clothing requests should be made ahead of time, maybe right after the date is confirmed.
Swim
...confirm 2 or 3 days out. I also always confirm the morning of and I let the provider know I will.
2. Save the inquiries about outfits and activities for the next time you request an appointment. Requesting an outfit is ok in initial communications but save activities for when you're actually with her. With someone you've seen (like the one you just mentioned) being more specific in e-mail is usually ok but wait until you are scheduling with her and then ask if she minds you being specific in e-mail. If this is someone you plan on seeing often just do a lot of the specific questions while you are with her each time planning for the next time.
I like to plan ahead and know things well ahead of time too but too many questions too often can be a pain for the lady so just be prepared with what you want to know when you contact her for an appointment and set everything then. She'll be more likely to remember it that way.
edited for grammar
-- Modified on 7/30/2014 4:14:21 PM
a confirmation email each week just to let the lady know I am looking forward to seeing her and that I will definitely be there. My last communication is usually 48 hours prior to the date, unless the provider has specified otherwise.
I don't think discussing clothing requests are appropriate until the date has been scheduled.
And then again the day of.
If you're actively trying hammer out a date for an appointment with her it's reasonable to make a clothing request when you get a date set.
Ok that's good advice from everybody.
Thank you