I'm a newbie about to embark on my second date. The first and last was 7 years ago. That went well but I felt the hobby wasn't for me. Now I'm ready to try again so I've been re-educating myself and trying to meticulously follow the code. I've located an experienced provider that I vaguely recall from 7 years ago. She has a different stage name and now markets herself in creative yet different way. She promotes an additional hobby of hers that I (and probably many other guys) share. Anyway, since I don't have references the screening process was more in-depth and perhaps out of the box. In the course of sharing info I mentioned I belong to a particular club thinking it would help my case. And, it did but also opened up a whole new issue. She, started asking more questions around my participation and involvement in the club. All fair questions that I answered. From this I correctly surmised she might know some of the fellow members. I assumed she meant it was from the point of view of current/former clients. We are in total agreement about 100% confidentiality as she mentioned how devastating it would be if I were to speak to club members about our date. I gave her my absolute assurance. I in turn has asked for the same assurance because if I am 'outed' my personal and professional life would be over. Via a phone conversation she agreed to set a date and said we'd chat more about this when we meet. I said I was ok with that. Then, when we were coordinating our calendars (she has limited incall hours) the subject of commute to the incall location came up and she let slip the city she actually lives in. Its the same community where most of the club's members live (not the same as my community). We are now at the point of finalizing date/time via email. The date will be early next week. Then, today a new thought hit me. What if the reason she inquired about our mutual interest in the club and its members is because her SO or spouse is a member of the club? I might very well know him or about him. Again, if its primarily a matter of her having clients from the club then I'm ok. But, if its her SO/spouse I have another matter to consider. Your questions and advice are much appreciated.
-- Modified on 7/3/2014 3:18:01 PM
everything is finalized..just have some fun..do not make this into a drama that needs not to be made..
Use short paragraphs. I didn't read your post as I don't like long paragraphs... Break it up. Hope someone else will you help you out.
Swi
You want to see her or you wouldn't have contacted her, you worked out the details and were fine with everything. You are in total agreement about 100% confidentiality. Now you are trying to decide what might be in her head, good luck with that. Go see her, have fun and keep your mouth shut about it at the club.
The take away for any other newbie (or oldbie) is to never give out any more information than is absolutely necessary.
Usually name, address, phone number, and business is enough for the toughest screener who will see guys without references.
Also, (to the OP) you should have considered a screening service like Datecheck or P411. There's a lot of info on those services on this board if you scroll down or use the search engine.
Got it and will do.
I'm confused, you have two reviews and say: "I'm a newbie about to embark on my second date. The first and last was 7 years ago". How do you have two reviews on different dates and are now having you "second date"?
I was thinking the same thing, lol.
My error. Should have said second date with an escort. The very first was a FBSM followed by a date with another experienced/highly reviewed FS provider. I'm taking the similar toe dip approach this time around too.
That's a good question.
is NOT for you. If you have to think about if it's her spouce or SO... than you should stay away. What happens behind closed doors, stays behind closed doors. Likely her SO knows what is going on. But no matter... NSA sex... (No Strings Attached) is one of the 'rules'... to not reveal anything you learn about each other. If you can't do that with her, do not see her. If you can't do that with anyone, the hobby is NOT for you. It's not for everyone. Nothing wrong with that.