Escorts are, for the most part, wonderful people.
TS girls are no different.
I had a too close relationship with a lady until it got to be habitual calling back and forth, not something you wanted to do. More like a support/gripe session.
Think this through.
If it works for you both after 6 months, go for it!
See where it takes you both.
Ahhh............ young love!
I am fighting that very feeling right now......yes, we lust in our minds about an experience with a beautiful transsexual, like Sapphire and Vaniity. Can one let there minds and hearts go further? No matter who it was, my lust for a transsexual or a GG provider has always left after it was over until those lustful feelings came back and I had to get my fix to feed my habit. I am in unfamiliar territory now.......I think I am falling for someone, a person, a beautiful, young transsexual. The feelings for eachother mutual. Can I allow myself to get deeper into these feelings for her? Should I protect mmy true heart from the inevitable? Which is??? I'm not sure. I am nervous as a write this.....I am finding I want to be with her daily, cal her every minute......she feels the same. Should I see where this goes........or avoid the possiblity of getting crushed....I haven't felt this way since my schoolyard crushes...I feel lost.....I need some advice...
Personally, I would have no problem with falling in love and commiting to a fulltime relationship with a tranny (TV, PreOp or PostOp... doesn't matter)... I was in love with a young PreOp... I think she was also falling in love with me... we did things outside of the paid sex arena... I think that it scared her, and she moved to another city... she wasn't ready to give up the life... even though I hadn't asked her to. I have met a few ladies that I could consider for my next "Ex"... It would take a lot of pre-working of many complicated issues, but there's no reason it couldn't work out. Go for it.
what is extremely dificult is to mantain a romantic relationship while you are escorting
because it will make you insecure and yor jealousy will flare up when she is angry or hurt. sex in the relationship may become a much lower priority as well.
For any escort building a romantic relationship can be almost imposible at times.
If you were in a position of helping her to get an education ... would you do it?
would you be willing to introduce her to your familly and friends?
if yes is the answer go ahead and love her with all your heart .....life is to short to live in regret!!!!
That is a well stated point! Do not be afraid! If you love her,...do not be afraid to express it!
There is a TS girl that I have been seeing for almost a year. Everytime we see each other, it is more wonderful than the time before. We are very close friends and we share very inimate details of our lives, hopes & dreams. I know what I feel for her and I want to tell her, I just don't know what her reaction will be. I do know that I love her, very much.
Well you love her or you don't. Could you care less if your friends and relatives and co-workers know she has a dick? That's how they'll look on it.
And will she escort while you're together? Or not do anything in the way of regular work and you support the both of you. Or will she work a job.
That's how I've thought about it for two I felt that way about. One is a surgical nurse and she's wonderful but we're better as friends and we both know it. The other is a really beautiful beautiful escort and person who I think the world of and we care about each other but man, she makes way more than me which is cool and I'm happy for her, but she'll never work a regular job which is also cool, you get the photo, or picture, whatever you call it. Like I said before one time it's a son of a bitch ballbusting motherfucker. It's okay though.
But in the real world with computers, people are going to worry about her dick. These two girls I mentioned I love both their dicks.
I don't mean to be summoning you all the time Star, but fuckin-a I like what you have to say. 'Scuse my Portugese there. Or French.
Your words "Should I see where this goes........or avoid the possiblity of getting crushed..." tell the story of anyone on the brink of committing to a relationship. The fact that your intended partner is a TS doesn't change the fact that LOVE is a scary and complicated feeling.
You do, of course, need to face the fact that the majority of people in your life will not understand the "why" but, in my humble opinion, I say that if you are fortunate enough to fall in love with a person, who feels the same about you, you are a damned fool if you don't TRY your best.
We'll all be rooting for you both.
Often I do not post about my private affairs beyond online reviews. I need a bit of catharsis. Recently I began dating my regular provider, no money exchanged. I sent her a letter documenting what I think of her, how often I think of her, and what I feel I can offer her to enrich her life. I held nothing back and fully expected her to never speak with me again, but denying my feelings ate me alive. Come the day after I mailed the letter, my telephone rang at 12:22 am. The caller ID showed the number as 'restricted'; intuition told me that it was her. I pulled my car to the roadside, half anxious and half ecstatic pressed the send button, and said, "Hello". Her voice on the other end sang, "I'm your Venus; I'm your fire...". As I made mention of a specific event between us that made reference to her singing that I knew she read the letter. Given the glee I detected in her voice, I felt overwhelmed with joy. Love won the day. "Where are you?" she asked. "I'm on the side of the highway talking to you." I replied. "No you aren't", she said. (She has a propensity for calling me when I'm driving and I always pull over for her.) The conversation went on for a bit. I asked if I could call her back in 25 minutes...
I sped home, drank a glass and a half of wine, and called her back. We spoke for 3 hours. After listening to rave comments about my letter we discussed our expectations, and I confessed my personal limitations: my impulsiveness, my bad temper, my mildly paranoid personality, my need for reassurance of recipricosity when I like someone. I hid no ace up my sleeve, as my romantic feeling for her were true. I know this for fact as I have felt this way, but once before. Her line of work was not an issue for me as we are actually, 'professional peers', though we agreed not to discuss our work. Given our prior relationship experiences, we agreed to take things slowly. For her I had more time than the world. We agreed to meet the following Monday for our first date. Did I mention the day I mailed the letter she started taking estrogen injections?
Good luck, horizononfire. Any relationship, especially in those early stages, is delicate, but love can and will win the day. All the best to you and her.
Thanks for the words of encouragement Mr. Tshard. I do not doubt that true love can win the day. I'm unsure whether or not you read subsequent chapters of my brief tale, but love did not end up winning the day in this case. The psychotropic effect of estrogen on her personality destroyed my affections. The relationship, in it's infancy, gave me no history to hold faith that this was not the 'true' her and the person I could see myself falling in love with was nothing but a sham. She had nothing to gain other than my monogamous devotion by exiting our commercial arrangement and I explained that I understood this in my letter to her. Given my insecure need to know what went on between us was 'real', I intentionally stacked facts as I saw them to form a strong case against dating me, and told her how I felt and how I know it to be true and presented that as the case for dating me. Given the frailty of budding relationships it is entirely possible I did or said something absolutely offensive to her and she took the position of mental torture and abuse being the best out for her as she would not need to take responsibility for ending the relationship, thus leaving it up to me to 'get the hint'. That's a respectless coward's refuge.
I hope she enjoys the silky smooth, tender skin afforded by her estrogen therapy. Unfortunately the new skin is only a veneer coating the monsterous harpy it created. I would have been better served granting my affections to a relapsing crack whore.
I called her early Monday to confirm our date that afternoon. She complained of flulike symptoms and tiredness. She would have to cancel. She suggested we try to get together Tuesday and I told her I was unsure if I could do it Tuesday. "Well if you don't have time for me, I can't help it." she snapped. I backpedalled and promised my availablity on Tuesday, not wanting to chance striking out with her. Later that day I again called and left a voicemail message saying, "If you need anything, call me. I'm here for you." Though I shivvered a bit at the thought of how vulnerable I made myself with this statement, I meant it. I meant what was said in my confessional letter and my resolve was firm. Later that day she called. I heard a lot of banging in the background and she was grunting, "I don't have a man in my life." Aparently she was trying to assemble a fan she had bought that day and was failing. I offered to help and after a volley of insults to my manhood she told me not to come over as she feared she may say, "... the wrong things." She reconfirmed our meeting the next day, which was good enough for me at that time. The next day I came to her apartment at the appointed time. She seemed a tad frenetic, wanted to go to the beach, and wanted to return the 'defective' fan...
In her rage she stripped the screwheads to all the fan assembly screws. I agreed to come along with her to return the fan and help her locate a replacement. Everything seemed normal and we joked and bantered. Let me tell you aside from being plasma hot, she is the wittiest, funniest person I have ever met. Nobody can put me in stitches like her, in fact few can make me even crack a smile. We never made it to the beach as sundown approached. She took me to a Vietnamese restaurant, ordered a noodle soup dish for me, and seemed incredulous that I knew how to eat with chopsticks. When the check came, she told the waitress we were married for two weeks. I told her to show the waitress the rock. The waitress told her that I was very handsome. She took offense at the tip I gave the waitress. $7 for a $21 meal. She said $6 is enough for the chinese. I said the waitress thought I was handsome, the appeal to my vanity warrants the extra dollar. She would not allow me to leave the extra dollar. So much for the buddhist tennement of generosity I thought.
Given that I do not wish to bore you, I'll wrap up this tale. I went back to her place, spent the night, left the next morning, and told her that I will call. I called the next day. No return call. I called the next day. No return call. I called 2 days later. No return call. I called one more time, expressing mild concern as she would occasionally tell me woeful tales of irrate customers throwing her about. The next day she called back, claimed to be very busy. Our conversation went well and I assumed she was still interested. With respect for her privacy, I will not give away details of the ensuing week and a half, nor will I mention the provider's name. In short her need for the silky soft skin estrogen affords overrode her rational faculties. She confessed to me before the vaunted hormone makes her a "crazy woman" and I totally underestimated the effect, even turned a blind eye to it in the effort to be a caring boyfriend. I meant what I said in that letter...
Final part. My conclusion is this: I would do it all again given that same opportunity: The letter, the cd of love songs I custom burned her, the exposure of my frailties, whatever it takes to fill that void I reserved for someone like her. My conclusion is also this: Keep your self respect and cut your losses at the slightest turn. If at any point she becomes a cunting, diffident blackheart or disrespects you, do not turn a blind eye. Make effort to understand what is happening, but don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. Your going to make the first move and give her emotional ammunition to hurt you. With these events so very recent, I'm a tad bitter, but there are fish aplenty in the sea. I'll gladly set sail to fish again.
I don't buy that theory. Estrogen, like any other hormone or drug, will have a percentage of negative responders and she is a negative responder. The unrational portion of the story is she knew full well the effect of estrogen on her personality due to previous administrations, yet she chose to start the therapy regardless.
Answer: Yes you can. As residents of this board know, it happened to me.
The young lady in question (well known to members of this community) and I have "recovered" to a friendship that is deep and meaningful to both of us. We have become each others best friends, advisers, and confidantes, and remain (on special occasions) intimate.
Each of us is now getting a business up and running, and we are helping and advising and being there for each other in a way that was not possible when we were pursuing a purely "romantic" relationship.
So can it work? Yes...if the people involved are open, honest, and unselfish with respect to their partner's goals, values, and expectations.
This takes tremendous maturity and strength of character.
Hangman, best of luck to you. PM me if you wish.
TA
WARNING: This is a bit of a rant with no particular order. I don't want to take the time to set it all out in a nice order right now. That being said...
I hate to say this, but what the heck do you guys expect??? You are trying to have a "normal" romantic relationship with someone that works as an escort!!! Probably the girl is anywhere from 10-30 years younger than you. Probably even comes from a different culture. Of course it's not going to be normal. That's your first mistake. If you were serious about having a relationship, you'd pusue dating web sites, not EROS.
Regarding the "Hormomes make all TS girls crazy" theory. That's total BS. Sometimes girls will play that up as an excuse for the bad, rude, mean behavior or lack of education they have, and sometimes guys use that excuse to give themselves an "out".
When it comes to relationships... whoever you are, male, female, TS, you have to have something to bring to the table. Some guys want a relationship, but then they have no education, no job, no stability, no maturity, in the closet, they drink or do drugs... wow... what a catch. NO girl wants someone like that. Don't blame it on her being a TS.
Also, a lot of guys fall into the "I'll rescue her" trap. Guys.... you might as well call yourself "Tootsie Roll" because the girls will see you as a sucker from the get go.
If you want a quality, "normal" relationship, don't go looking for them in abnormal places.
Finally a rational comment. You are well adjusted and have a grasp of the real world. This is fantasy land.
That is useful information!...but if you would be so kind....where would these men look? If you are so smart..maybe you can tell us!
So are you forwarding the theory that escorts are not 'normal' people' or are incapable of 'normal' relationships? I also notice a strong ageist sentiment on your behalf. What is the big deal with an age gap if two people are compatible? In my case she is 3 years older than I.
To deny that exogenously injected estrogen does not have psychotropic effect is absolute physiological ignorance on your behalf. Neurons are rife with androgen receptors. Estrogen attaches to these receptors and is drawn through the cell cytosol by carrier proteins and delivered to DNA and causes cellular expression ie. action by the neuron. Estrogen administration also causes a change in other hormonal levels which affect behavior. It's a case similar to the bodybuilder who takes steroids and develops 'roid rage'. A small percentage of the population will develop psychosis from estrogen treatment. This effect is noted on the drug manufacturer's insert. I witnessed a very obvious change in behavior and the TS I refer to noted it herself.
Your generalizations in this board's cases make no sense. If we can afford to see providers at $250 to $300 a pop we must have disposable income afforded by high paying jobs which imply higher levels of education and stability.
In my case your generalization regarding the 'I'll rescue her' trap is absolutely false. I have no desire to save anyone, especially someone not in need of saving. Escorting can be a lucrative trade so what can I save her from? The excess cash she has to afford the $7000 boob job, the Imelda Marcosesque 'fuck me boots' collection, the plasma TV she just bought, or the new Mercedes SUV? Oh what a tormented life!
People at times are bound to fall for their providers and I speak as both customer and provider. As a provider you enter a very intimate space at times and a customer who repeats often repeats because they develop a certain level of trust for you. The illusion of intimacy or true intimacy + trust = the beginnings of many relationships outside of the escorting world so why would it not be so inside the escorting world?
Horizon,
First off, I wasn't addressing you personally, so don't take it as such. I don't know the particulars of your situation so I didn't comment on them. I was talking about this topic IN GENERAL. So... most of your arguing to me is moot. However, I will respond to some of the comments you just made.
First, are escorts normal people? I would say most of them are, but they are in abnormal circumstances and have not-the-most-normal of jobs. I think that makes it a *little* more difficult to have a "normal" romantic relationship. But that's just me.
Age - I don't care how old couples are, but I was pointing out the fact that, IMO, a 30 year old age difference CAN make things more challenging. Sure it happens, but I would say that's the exception rather than the rule. You can disagree if you want. (Personally, I like older men.)
Hormones - after all your scientific talk, you yourself admited that only a small percent "will develop psychosis from estrogen treatment". I'm just saying that both men and T girls use that as an excuse far more than it really is. Besides, most doctors will tell you that female hormones have a CALMING effect rather than the reverse. So using hormones as an excuse to be bitchy and mean... I would take that with a grain of salt.
Income - not everyone that reads these boards sees escorts. Not everyone can afford to. Many guys will read this board for years before acting on seeing an escort, if they ever do. For others, it takes awhile to save up such money. To say that everyone that sees an escort has a high paying job, disposable income and a higher education, well.... that sounds a bit snobbish to me.
Rescuing - I don't know about your case, but I'll stand by what I said before. I'll also add that regardless of the providers income, there are still a great many guys that try to rescue a girl from "the life" in hopes to make her "legitimate". In some cases, maybe the girl really does wish for that. Don't mistake the trappings of excess for true happiness. I know a few rich girls with nice cars and expensive purses that cry themselves to sleep, alone at night.
"Ciabatta. C-i-a-b-a-t-t-a, ciabatta.
Peace out."
Why do you make such great effort to debate them if my points are moot? My points certainly are not moot Ms. Star as I am relating firsthand experience for the threadstarter. Your compiled points are mostly jaded overgeneralizations, parroting of incompetent endocrinologists, and hackneyed comments. I respect what you have to say, but wholeheartedly disagree.
Sheesh.........
Can't win with some of you guys. You keep taking things personally. Let me repeat AGAIN...I was NOT talking about YOU or YOUR personal situation. I don't really care about your life although I wish you no ill will. Please stop projecting your anger on my posts.
You brought up things that were not true about ME or that I didn't agree with and so I responded. Isn't that what this board is for? The moot points were those that delt with your personal situation. No sense debating them with me because I don't know your situation.
I'm relating some firsthand experiences from MY life too. Aren't my experiences as valid as yours?
I don't know why you are so angry. I am not jaded and I didn't think I came off that way. As far as doctors, you have NO idea who I got my information from so how can you call them incompetent? How many times a month do you go see endocrinologists? And how many different ones have you seen and used their services? How many have you researched and looked into? Just because you didn't like what I said doesn't make it untrue. Besides, half of what I said came from your own information.
And as far as overgeneralizations go... go back and read some of your posts.
If you respect what I have to say, you have a funny way of showing it.
I apologize for coming off so brash Star. Given your original post was subheaded beneath mine I assumed your comments directed to me. What I do know for fact is your endocrinological appraisal of estrogen is entirely false. You are probably confusing properties of estrogen with progesterone. Progesterone displays a calming effect whereas estrogen does not. If you require the appeal of experts in this matter do an online search, read the manufacturer's drug insert, or ask your endocrinologist.
-- Modified on 7/19/2005 8:24:52 AM
I think you should go for it! Love is one of the greatest gifts, and no matter who you are in love with,...you should give it 100%!!!
When it comes to loving a transexual....protect her at all costs, and spit on any comment that society gives you about loving the transgendered!
The ones who speak negativity, are the ones who are cowards! Bravo for you man!
My only hope is that her love for money doesn't interrupt true love. This happens with many relationships with transexuals! It is a fact!
Problems:
social preasures
families
why you seek out escorts
why she is escorts
I think love is great, under these circumstances
however it would be difficult, near impossible. They say love will find the way,who knows that is a subject we could learn from. The little head is not where you find love!
I went for it...lost the first time, but we got back together...on a different basis.
Loving a T-Girl is no different than loving anyone else, but when you factor in all the issues attendant with being involved with an escort AND a T-girl, you have to realize this is not for everyone.
My friend (well known to this board) and I talk daily, IM each other, and see each other often. When we are together, we focus on "building each other up"...not finding fault or "issues" to argue over.
Her escorting is necessary ...it's how she puts bread on the table. Further, it allows her to have some nice things in life which she otherwise would not have. I spend my time working with her telling her that escorting AND being "T" are in fact a great BENEFIT to her and
will ultimately put her at the "top" of everything she does in life. Nowhere do we talk of "tying each other down" or "being in love" , although we care about each other's welfare very deeply.
Put YOUR needs and wants aside...think only of what's best for HER..even if that doesn't include YOU..and you'll be OK. Trust me.
TA
Escorts are, for the most part, wonderful people.
TS girls are no different.
I had a too close relationship with a lady until it got to be habitual calling back and forth, not something you wanted to do. More like a support/gripe session.
Think this through.
If it works for you both after 6 months, go for it!
See where it takes you both.
Ahhh............ young love!