Ciara: you are truly special. I like your attitude. if you ever come out here to the Bay Area please look me up!
I do have a small performance issue that I always tell a provider about. Due to a turn for the better, I am getting better with this medical issue and use providers to help get over the past.
Twice now, providers have added to the problem by going way to fast, and getting me nervous. I am there for the hour, and in less then 20min, they want to give up. I am able to perform, but it does take a bit of time, and they knew up front that this was the issue.
Is it wise to ask for a small refund if they give up? What do ya do if they say no? If climax is not reached, is the job done? Am I right in being disappointed/upset?
Your imput on the matter
As a preventative measure:
When explaining to her about your "performance issue" I would suggest adding that it means that you need to go really slow. Make sure you select providers who do DFK. Also, make note of reviews, if the providers rush in general. Sometimes it's hard to know what a guy wants, so make sure to give as many verbal cues as you can.
As a retaliative measure:
That is not cool that they just want to give up! Are they trying to make your issues worse? I don't know about ettiquette for not finishing time or climaxing, because this has never been an issue for me. If they want to leave a half hour before time is up, I would ask for a small refund, but if they are willing to stay and do other stuff without you coming, then I would not ask for a refund.
Remember, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of a cure!
Hi AboutFace,
"When explaining to her about your "performance issue" I would suggest adding that it means that you need to go really slow. Make sure you select providers who do DFK."
This Is great advice!!!! I too, have performance Issues. So, I compensate. I look for Indies who DFK. I just live for DFK. A very nice provider wanted to refund half of her fee, to me, because I could not spill my coffee. She stayed the whole hour, so I told her that was not necessary. The Indies that I have seen have stayed the entire time that was booked!!!
Some good advice! You paid for an hour, and you explained up front that you are recuperating from a medical condition. If you are with a quality provider, there is no difference between trying to achieve you first cup, or trying to achieve your second cup, if that was advertised as provided. Nervousness leads to performamance anxiety, and that just exacerbates the situation. A quality provider should never put you in that situation, or even suggest that she won't try anymore. An hour is an hour, and you're entitled to it weather you climax or not. That being said, I feel that you're entitled to some kind of monetary remuneration if the provider refuses to go on. Just my 2 cents.
an hour is an hour.. You are right to tell them of your problem you have. What I do is try to work with it.. When a man does tell me of this.. What I have found is if we get it out of the way FIRST.. it leaves much more time for kissing..cuddling... funning around and a 2nd cup.. or just some other good stimulation..
As for your question, if you are only there for 20 minutes, ask her for her 1/2 hour rate..
More advice to you.. Find new providers. The ratio of providers there are astounding. That you have this gripe is even more astounding. It shouldnt be an issue with a great independent.
Ciara, Buffalo is lucky to have you. Your attitude is so sweet.
well hello my old friend! Thank you for your imput. To be honest, it has only happend twice. I have found a woman here that is very good to me and usually goes way the hell over for her time..due to my problem. We enjoy our time together, and she has shown me that it can be gotten around given the right amount of time. To be honest, I had accepted that I was not going to fuction as a normal male again. I try to be very good to her but she only askes for her normal fee. I have given her small gifts and she seems to find some of them rather amusing.
Most real provders here are very kind to me. But none have offerend a small refund and most refuse flat out. Even had one threaten me (wrong move with a man that has studied the human body as much as I....I know how it goes together and I can always think in reverse......) After the other night, I have almost decided to just stay with this one provder and be happy. She is kind, attractive, and fun to talk to. I had hoped with a mix that I would get the old drive back and going...but no luck. With time, and help, I think I will recover well...not perfect...but able to fuction.
Again, its good to hear from you old friend. Write soon...I miss your email...... I trust you have been well and stay out of trouble????????? (well, ok, a tad bit of trouble at any rate......) As always, I am your total love slave and will fall at your feet any time, and any where....heck, I'll even beg....I have no shame...no pride.....but I am getting back some drive...............grin........
xxx/ooo and a few more xxx's for fun......
Oz
Ciara: you are truly special. I like your attitude. if you ever come out here to the Bay Area please look me up!
They (the providers) see it as you paying for their time... If you go under an hour - that is "in room" time is less than 60 min, then you may consider asking for a refund. However, I have had difficulties on a couple of occasions, but that did not prevent me from having an EXCELLENT time. The gals were great and I had a great time, even comporable to other times - and yes I did get off, but, and here is the but, we both talked openly about what was happening (you have to be able to) and we actually laughed.... and that was what enabled the climax....
Of course this board and the writing contents contained herein are entirely fiction and any resemblance to actual events or persons either living or dead is merely coincidental...lol....
Perhaps the lady is getting... ah... tired.
It might help if you suggest alternatives to "giving up". There is more than one way to skin a cat
(ouch! bad analogy!)
You booked the time. Asking for a refund based on activities is inappropriate. Look for a win-win to the situation. You are right to feel disappointed if she simply gives up though I think you should take some responsibility for keeping the momentum. Perhaps the lady just doesn't know what else she can do.
Climax or not you are paying for her time.
Should we all give freebies to impotent men?!?
I think maybe ya hafta make it fun.......Whether its "working" or not.
I know of a couple of clients that can sometimes and then just cant others. One got so upset that he ran out of the room nekkid in front of me and the others smacking his "bad dickie" as he called it and then ran back in the room as we all just LOAO and he completed his mission !!
The other started pacing and for an unknown reason started slapping his "bad dickie" on her forehead. She looked up at him called him dickhead and he got hard!
Ya never know whats gonna work.
tyvm, P.T.
No, it wouldn't be polite to ask for a partial refund. Besides, I think both she and you are giving up too soon.
A suggestion: if nothing much physically is happening after 15-20 minutes, before she throws up her hands and says she gives up, take the initiative and ask her to stop for a breather.
Maybe it's time to rest for a moment...ask her for a back massage...cuddle...or maybe you will do DATY because that's one sure way to get you excited again.
Then start again, reminding her you need to go slowly. If a BJ is a good way to get you hard again, ask her to start with that. If after the second attempt, you reach the end of the hour and you didn't climax, well, that's a disappointment, but at least you know you both tried (and presumably had fun doing so.)
You also can gauge your comfort level and decide to reschedule or not. If you felt very comfortable with her by the end (even if you didn't climax), go ahead and schedule a second visit. The second visit should be much better than the first since much of the nervousness will be gone.
I can say that I was not comfortable with these two woman.....