There are two possible scenarios:
1 - he just forgot
2 - he believed, incorrectly for some reason, it was off the
clock.

....and as for the guy who failed to pay you, call him up and tell him he owes you for two hours....the third would seem piggish, since the two hour session went long, with your ok, presumably....  but he definetely owes you for two hours....  MA

You have an unreasonably high instance of this confusion (i.e., being taken advantage of!) with your clients.  Friends or not, if they are clients they are clients.  YOU need to take responsibility for maintaining the boundaries and ensuring that your friends understand the expectations.  They are but men, you are the professional.  Feel free to PM if you wanna' talk about this with specifics.

Good luck!

xoxo,
Sola

It sounds to me that you must say things to these fellas to make them think that things have moved from paying to dating.  Like you said to us "he's so good I should probably be paying him".  While you think this is just an expression the guys probably don't ...so I would check the mixed signals you are sending.

As far as the fellow who booked a two hour session stayed for three and then didn't pay well I would clear that one up fast otherwise you've lost another client.  

Honestly I like it a lot when a provider compliments me and talks about her life...I enjoy the friendship but I seldom want more...This is afterall a business transaction between two consenting adults.

It's the same old discusssion about being able to seperate the illusion from the reality. I fall in love every time I get a DTBBBJTCIM but the feeling only lasts about an hour then it's back to reality. My regular right now is a friend in that she will do somethings for me outside the act but I always expect to pay for her time. She calls me her friend b/c she knows she can count on me if she needs anything that I can help her with. She also has a way of reminding me that I am still a client. She will stay overtime but every now and again she packs up and leaves on the hour. It's a realty check for both of us. just my.02

Even when a lady actually asks, "Can't you stay a little longer?" I'm never sure if she really means it...or if it's just part of the fantasy...or if it means "do you want to book another hour right now?"

The no payer called before this was posted and apologized and offered to mail it or give it to me the next time...
I appreciate all the advise, though.  I will definitely put it to use!!  Thanks, Kasey K

It's either:

1) He forgot (as someone earlier mentioned),

-OR-

2) You said that you usually drive an hour to see him at a hotel, correct ?  Well, I think that he [mis]interpreted the invitation to your house as time "off the clock" because it was on your home turf, and since two hours turned into three hours, this only reinforced his notion that he didn't have to pay.

This is what I would do to hopefully rectify the situation.  Send the gent an e-mail, but play dumb and ask where he left the donation, but make sure to include a line in the message that says something to the effect of "If we got our signals crossed, then I apologize".  You might want to go so far as to charging him for just one hour, assuming you want to keep him as a regular.

Good Luck.......and by the way, I would absolutely *love* it if a woman would drive an hour just to see little ol' me.  That must be one of the most flattering things a woman could do.  He is one lucky dude to have you do that for him.  Or maybe he's really good.  Or both.

Like me.   Then the fantasy can remain, and the friendship can remain.   But there is no way that I can believe that any provider would want to date me.    

These guys are seriously misled in their own minds.   You have to set them straight the first time it happens.   A wake-up call is the only solution.

"Business should be transacted in a business-like manner" ...Kaspar Gutman aka 'The Fat Man'

This quote is even more relevant to your circumstance, given that, in both instances, the transactions are of somewhat dubious legality.

ask him if he wants to book you for an appointment.  If he says "yes," make it clear that he has to pay for your appointment.  If he says "no," you can tell him that you are working and will see him (if you want) if you are not busy, but clients have first priority of your time while you are working.  This is not a forgetful error.  These guys are intentionally ripping you off and will take as much as you let them.  They may act hurt when you call them on it, but they know what they are doing.  They will to take advantage of you as long as you seem like a push-over.  Good luck.

It has to do with you and you breaking basic industry rules not to mention your own. Find your friends outside of the business. Committ yourself to your own experiences and life outside of work and you'll find them.... and  --- you won't have to reveal your innerself everytime you meet a stranger.

Meant in the best way possible -

xo
laney

In reading your initial post it seems like you are having problems with a number of clients in this regard.  Usually when that happens it indicates that there is something that you are doing or not doing that is setting the stage for this.  You are not the only lady in the business who has this problem.  In some cases ladies get confused about what services they are actually providing which tends to confuse their customers which can lead to a variety of problems.

A number of ladies have problems with clients who want to take them on a trip and are willing to cover expenses but do not want to pay for time so do not feel you are alone on that particular issue.      

I would suggest that you take Sola Love up on her kind offer or contact other ladies that you know and trust.  If you want a male perspective please feel free to PM me.

You only have yourself to blame if you don't.

You need to be willing to lose the ones who no longer are willing to pay. Just the way it is.

Man, I have never - ever - made that mistake! Wow.... you must be sending a signal!  think! think! think! what is it?  Maybe get someone to walk through what you are doing and make suggestions - (I, by the way, would be more than happy to do this, and you would only have to pay for my ticket to where you are! I would wave my consulting fee!).....  

Seriously, I have a friend (female) in real estate, and she was constantly hit on by "gents" - both married and unmarried - she discussed the continual advances with her hubby - a "man of the world" "someone who had been around the block" no, not me!  He had her set up an appointment with him just like a potential buyer.... during the time they spent together, he found about 5-6 different "verbal and non-verbal" signals that she was sending to tell the guys that she was "Available"  

I have even had a provider stop me in the actual MISH position... and ask "It would make me feel better, if I could see the envelop please." (I guess I was not giving an academy award performance,lol.)  While that was a bit "in my face" it in no way altered the evening for me - in fact it was a very nice evening with more highlights after that event...

From my rambling - you need to be upfront with your appointments - ask the gent, "how long are we scheduling for?"  after he answers your response is "you know that the fee for that amount of time is $XXX.  please place it in a white unmarked envelop in plain sight when you come in."  I know that sounds clinical - but if it relaxes you, and permits you to be "at your best," rather than concerned about payment - everyone will be a lot happier!  I really hope that this helps!