Screening AFTER he has arrived is too late.
My experience is that most who fight screening are not worth my time. Many high profile gentleman understand our needs. If you set screening requirements do not bend them... no matter how important the gent says it is for him. Try working with him to see if there is an alternative way he is willing to be verified - but do it!
Do not feel uncomfortable asking for references. Most of us are *happy* to support other ladies, and thank you for doing so in kind when WE ask YOU for references.
Stay safe!
xoxo,
Sola
Screening process. I had a client ask if he could give me information at the actual appointment? I'm seeking advice, as usually I have no problems with people giving out info, but sometimes I get a little paranoid. I just need to make sure that it is in fact an actual gentleman coming to see me and not something negative!!
Do most legitimate men shy away from being screened? As far as getting references from another provider on a specific gent, I would feel uncomfortable asking for such things. Any advice?
Myself included.
It can be dangerous for us if you turn out to be a psycho (sorry, but some of you are).
Why don't you like references? References say, I know this guy, he is not LE, and he was OK with me. What more can you ask for?
From one provider to another.
I am new to screening also!And this reply is a first for me.I read alot of them.(and NO spell check )It's a hole new world for me!!!!!!!!!
Do to e-mail from a reg. (Over LE things going on). I have been screening alot more than ever before.It's working to my disadvantage.But I also know until I got a few reviews it was also to my disadvantage.One hand washes the other.I have all the same Q & A. But all said and done.All the Q & A in the world is not going to fix it.Its a 50/50 deal on both parts.Trust your gut and run with it.
-- Modified on 3/14/2005 3:38:31 AM
Do not take verification at appt
Do ASK another provider, it is why we are here.
(safety in numbers)
If the gent claims he is from here.. Ask for his TER handle.
Message someone ask if he/handle is legit
This is a hobby where sex is a priority yes..however it is a hobby where EVERYONES safety is in mind first and foremost. If the man does not agree to such simple measures.. Is 300-600 or whatever your fee is really worth risking jail/rape/mugging ?
Do legitimate men shy away? Why yes they do. However they will at least give you a little to go on.. Legit men in the hobby will KNOW how it works.Verification during appointment is not an option.
If we saw everyman that said" Hey you are hot, I want to see you " We would all be retired and not on these boards.
-- Modified on 3/12/2005 3:08:40 PM
I'd like to thank you both for taking the time to post a response to my message. I'm not well known, and I'm basically learning the ropes. I've just been reluctant to participate. I have just had my site reviewed last week. It took me a while to do even that. With your response, it has really helped me not to be hesitant when it comes to asking for help. Thank you both
Ayanna
Screening AFTER he has arrived is too late.
My experience is that most who fight screening are not worth my time. Many high profile gentleman understand our needs. If you set screening requirements do not bend them... no matter how important the gent says it is for him. Try working with him to see if there is an alternative way he is willing to be verified - but do it!
Do not feel uncomfortable asking for references. Most of us are *happy* to support other ladies, and thank you for doing so in kind when WE ask YOU for references.
Stay safe!
xoxo,
Sola
The only thing I dont like giving out is financial information. Other than that I have no problem with screening. It use to bother me untill one apointment I had with this girl who was brand new. She was really young didnt seem to have any measures in place to ensure her saftey and I thought to my self after.
What if the next guy is some whack job?
I'd hate to see anything bad happen to any of the ladies out there. So if giving out simple info like where I work or who I've seen before can help keep them from running into the next BTK freak then screen me all you'd like. Just dont ask for a blank check or my credit card!!!!!!! lol
Screening at the start of an appointment is the same as not screening at all to me. Once the door opens and the guy is in, it's already past the point of no return.
We come together here the vast majority of times as just about complete unknowns to each other as it is, even with screening. Don't let go of the small bit of pre meeting knowledge you have the chance to get. Your safety isn't worth the dollars.
-- Modified on 3/12/2005 7:06:59 PM
Like most men, I don't particularlly like screening, but it is neccessary for your safety. Screening, once a client is there, is not screening at all. If that little voice in the back of your head goes off, listen to it, a few dollars isn't worth it.
Another benefit of screening, just like seeing a well reviewed provider, is eliminating that awkward period at the beginnig of a session where both parties are trying to feel out the other. If both parties feel comfortable with each other from the onset, it makes for a much better session. Just my $.02. Play safe
This is a difficult matter. I can understand why the ladies need to screen clients, yet at the same time, ladies should understand why men may be reluctant to send off their real first and last names on an "appointment form" without ever having had any contact with the lady or knowing who or what is on the receiving end. Some type of compromise must be good. Just ask for a first name and what kind of work they do and expect them to satisfy you of it without laying out all that may be embarassing. It can be awkward if you require the real first and last name, yet the lady who could give him a satisfactory reference may know him only by a nickname, because that's all she required. Is the man to say "My real name is so and so (since you require it), and Ms. X will give you a good reference on me, but she only knows me as ---?" Many men may have good relationships with ladies who would recommend them yet never know his real first and last name. I had excellent experiences with two ladies in recent months who verify just by chatting with you first by phone and asking certain questions without being too specific and getting a feel that way if they think you're alright. Both instances worked out fine, they offered to give references, and they told me things about our meeting, other than my name, to use to remind them who I was in requesting a reference or a repeat meeting. Now that's an understanding way to go.
-- Modified on 3/13/2005 3:55:53 PM
Do your homework before contacting a lady!!! You have so many resources (data-bases even!) to find out information about a lady before contacting her. What does she have on you?
I am happy that the ladies who worked with you without screening were comfortable doing so, and that you had a great time. I am also happy that YOU were not some crazy loon out to hurt them.
Asking WHO you are spending time with does not show a lack of understanding for the fears and risks you gentleman take by contacting us.
Each to our own comfort level. There is a lady out there for you no matter how little or how much info you are willing to share.
xoxo,
Sola
Hello,
This is my first post and these are thoughts as a newbie still getting up the courage to contact a provider. I did not know I would have to give out a lot of information about myself. I can understand it for the ladies safety, but I am equally concerned about mine. I think I would give out some general information about myself but would be reluctant for many specifics. I do not know what is involved yet, as I have not contacted anyone. I have been reading the board and trying to sort out all the new information. I hope to take the "plunge" soon. I do have to admit I am very nervous about the whole ordeal. My biggest worry is getting robbed, arrested, etc. I will have to get over my fear of going to someone's in call if I plan to ever get started. The board here at least helps with reviews so I can find someone that is known well enough, now I just need to find somone that will be slow and gentle with me.
JB
I don't particularly like the screening process, but understand the need for it. When I started in this hobby, I avoided providers who basically asked for any identifying information. Now that I'm older, I'm leary of providers who don't asked anything (anyone that careless may not be safe in a lot of different ways). There are providers I would like to see but who require information I deem to sensitive to reveal, especially to someone with whom I have never interacted, so I don't do business with those providers. We all have our confort levels, you need to maintain yours, and if it means turning some potential clients away, it is for the best.