The first time I saw a particular provider, I asked her if she is reference friendly and she said that she is. I assumed that meant I had permission to cite her as a reference freely. Now that I have read more posts on these boards, I am not so sure. Should I ask her for clarification? Should I assume that asking her or at least notifying her each time is expected? I don't want to add to her email inbox unnecessarily.
Hi Jeff;
Sounds to me like you've handled it correctly by asking the woman if it's alright to use her as a reference. What I did in the beginning was to ask the first time I saw someone and if they gave me their ok then I'd drop them a short email if I were using them to vouch for me. That gives them a heads up that you've given their contact info to another woman who then may be contacting them. Most seemed to appreciate that. I have had a couple instances though where the reference lady contacted me to ask why I wasn't seeing her again instead. That's awkward and IMO unprofessional as well.
Now that I have plenty of "okays" at P411 I only give out reference info to women who aren't members at P411. Otherwise I let them determine who they might wish to contact from my okay list. Sometimes they may be friends with someone on the list and wish to contact them.
Happy Hunting......RR
But as for etiquette, yes err on the side of caution, and notifying her each time
Only give out her name and info for a couple of months or a handful of times ... by then you should have either seen a couple more reference friendly or you should see her again to continue using her as a reference. Bing reference friendly does not mean you bum bard her with request but if you are okay. I have a guy who used me for 6 months several times ... Many many references and it got old .... He could have you used others
...a heads up that you have used her as a reference.
EOM
I prefer to give out references within the last 6 months window, it is always polite to let the lady know that someone you are interested on seeing may be in touch so we keep an eye on that email..
I am reference friendly and have it on my website to clarify. I do ask the man to drop me a quick email though. Only because I won't discuss unless you want me to. Believe it or not wives at times catch hubby and send emails digging for info. I play dumb to everyone unless you say ok. Yes, even if its giving reference to a well known provider I won't kiss and tell without your permission. Quick email is just another safety measure.
then she wont have to find you,
she doesnt wanna give out a reference to your gf by accident . we have alot unnessary drama when they find out what escort your seeing,