Usually I just pull out a rusty steak knife, and tell the offending "Pain In The A$$", " shut up or I'll cut you", and then I do...very effective at shutting them up as well.
Now, slicing a member of PETA is slightly different, and involves some vivisection.
A Question for the guys:
With where I am at the present moment, I usually have a nice calm environment, flowers, lit candles, fire going, inviting nooks to cuddle in, and a nice little assortment of Hor D' Oeuvres, some cheeses properly presented, some very nice Pate, occasionally, (and if I really like them), some chargrilled ahi tuna, Portobello Mushrooms en Brochette). And some nice wine, a nice Robert Parker approved Merlot usually.
I find that not everyone knows what Pate is, and then they just want to get down to business. Is this going overboard ? would a bowl of cheeze-it's suffice ?
I do enjoy eating the leftovers when they leave.
thank you, Aut.
Cheeses- no.
Protein- yes
Pate- cool
tomato brochttes nice
but the spices might add a little too much odour to the scene. Good on you for the forethuoght tho!
Sully
Gourmand ET gourmet
It sounds that you have a lot of class. Most guys really
appreciate this. I know I do.
If you have regulars you may want to serve things more to their
individual tastes, but you are a special person.
It sure beats, "Do you want a sip of my Diet Coke"
Food can be a fun addition to an awesome erotic encounter...witness 9 1/2 Weeks 
. It's a too bad some people don't have the class to understand and recognize that it takes time to prepare the food...shame on 'em...more for the rest of us.
Never in four decades has a provider had munchies laid out. Perhaps the guys just aren't accustomed to it. And (yes, I'll get slammed for this), I'm betting most don't know pate from chicken liver.
Speaking of which, however, there's this charming town in the Dordogne....
yeppers, this is my standard MO.
forgot to add, one gentleman caller tried to open the wine bottle as if it had a screwtop.
-- Modified on 1/11/2005 1:40:30 PM
...about the wine bottle incident! 
Of course, funny thing is, screw-tops are gaining in use. Back in the day, wine with a screw-top meant something you drank out of a paper bag....now you can't buy a New Zealand white without the screw-top. Maybe your client was WAY ahead of the curve...
Because they give the client more flexibility in shaping the evening. I would not feel comfortable with your setup eventhough I have done many dinner dates. But just in case we do meet, I promise to avoid opening the wine bottle with my teeth, in your presence
Turk,Mamma always brought me those delicious Denny's pate melts.
It was either that or fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches.
I liked to fine dine after the fine dining.If you get my drift.
Thank you very much.
luv you too darlin...
on the way over...stop n get some more tin foil...
you know how the windows get foggy.
Just a hunk, a hunk of burnin' luv!
Thank you vey much!
And then we can get to the fine dining?
"A little less conversation, a little more action, baby"
I appreciate that ver' much...
got any PB and banana sandwiches darlin'
Any good pills for me to pop?
A little less conversation, a little more action...
Anyone who has seen Funny Girl remembers that Nickie Arnstein offers Fanny Brice pate--she is stunned until she looks at it and says, in song, that it is just toast with a little chopped liver.
I have encountered this three times in less than two years. Maybe I have just been lucky in who I saw, but I am genuinely surprised you haven't encountered it more. I had a lobster ceviche with a lady out here that still makes me drool just thinking about it.
I find that stimulating the sense of taste can be a natural aphrodesiac. To me, little finger foods (please, no double entendres from the Peanut Gallery) are the perfect lead in to both tactile and oral activites.
BTW, I like cornichons with my pate, but no fois gras, merci. I like the coarse country style better.
I would love it if a provider cooked for me every day! The way to my wallet certainly would be through my stomach.
Seriously... the older I get the more I enjoy the company and of course the sex. Ambiance makes a big difference to the quality of the session.
One of these things just isn't the same:
A. Hot Pussy
B. Blow Job
C. Mind Blowing Sex
D. Pate
Can you tell me which doesn't belong?
My apologies to Sesame Street (or was it the Electric Co.?)
While I would be VERY appreciative of the effort you put forth, I would think that you would NOT want me licking your pussy after eating cheese (active cultures, you know....).
I would suggest a selection that includes, a couple of cold beers, a wine that YOU like (forget Robert Parker's snooty suggestions - I love wine but will forthrightly admit that my personal tastes are out of line with Mr. Parker), maybe one type of liquor (in case the gent wants a nip but not a short orbital path to the pisser) with a little mixer and ice. Food wise - grilled fish or meats are cool, maybe some sliced pita and hummus. Crackers w/ sliced deli roast beef, roasted peppers, artichoke hearts all sound good (and they keep well in the fridge - just dole out a few portions for each guest).
OK enough (actually, too much), I stop now.
Usually I just pull out a rusty steak knife, and tell the offending "Pain In The A$$", " shut up or I'll cut you", and then I do...very effective at shutting them up as well.
Now, slicing a member of PETA is slightly different, and involves some vivisection.
Does anyone have dietary suggestions on how to keep from passing gas at the most inopportune moment? On general principles, I'd like to keep in mind what to eat in the morning so there's less to worry about in the evening.
Thanks.
at the Sands in Sin city....Memories...
Memories cast between the pages just like wine...Mammories...oops..
Well...anyway...
My Pappy, Vernin had a double Western omelette with hot sauce
in some honky tonk greasy spoon as I read the lyrics over a milk shake n some chicken wings.
We almost called the song "All gassed up"...but decided to reach a more universal audience and the rest is history.
http://www.jokes.thefunnybone.com/waves/hmrfart.wav
Thank you very much.
-- Modified on 1/12/2005 7:20:51 AM
Sounds like a very nice layout. I'm sure there are some fellas who really appreciate it. I'm sure if we were going to sit around and gab all evening I'd absolutely love to be your guest.
I have been to a few outcalls where the gentleman had a nice little spread and while I was flattered with his forethought and effort, I can't stand to eat and then do anything intimate. I mean I REALLY can't stand it.
I don't know how many people are on my side of this particular fence, but I'd be willing to believe that at least half the population doesn't like to fool around with food on their breath (and yours) or a sloshy belly that might erupt into burps or, well, even less pleasing air effects.
I think that a pleasing beverage and maybe a few finger foods (maybe fresh fruits like grapes or strawberries?) would probably suffice without sacrificing the atmosphere you are creating.
Those of your clients who appreciate the finer things will be delighted. Those who don't, but have the brains to learn, will. Those who don't and lack the brains/class to learn, will still have a good time, but will leave wondering who the party is for. MA
"Never seek to know for whom the pate sits, it sits for thee...."
...and it looks really gross, so if it's a choice between the two, I'd stick to Plan A.
I'd go for chocolate mousse before sex but not pate or ahi.
Maybe feed you strawberries and cream while we sit in one of your nooks. Or your tub.
Maybe spritz you with bourbon and layer you in philo dough and and melted butter then bake you at 250 for 10 minutes until you're crunchy and golden brown and then bite you...
I'm sorry. I need to eat lunch. It's my blood sugar. Forgive me.
Gives a whole new meaning to the terms "eating out" or "I'll just grab a bite to eat on the way home, dear"
With me there wouldn't be leftovers. Only one other provider I know took the time to provide a nice little spread (cheese, crackers & some wine). I actually thought it was nice touch. Heck, I wish I could get my wife to do that for me. I don't want sex w/her, just some frigging food. If I eat one more pre-packaged Costco dinner, I am going to scream.
P.S. I have run into some providers who don't provide even the basics, i.e. bottle water, a towel, a hangar for your clothes.
... lets get stinky breath & fingers and play! These other schlubs don't know what they are missing.
PS, I eat of both (LOTS). Best way to satisfy your hunger and keep from gaining pounds.
lets get married! I'm free thursday.
does everyone relate sex with food? I can never mix the 2 together because the fear of some unromantic things happening (i.e. bad breath, gas, etc). I prefer to do it when I'm hungry, then pig out afterwards
What's the soup du jour?
I need to come over, I'm getting hungry?
I've often thought about providing more than wine when doing outcall in my hotel room. I haven't done it on the theory that a provider would not eat unsealed food, just as she would not drink wine from a bottle she did not see me open.
The only thing I would take issue with you on is the combination of a Robert Parker approved wine with food. In my experience, he gives higher grades to wines that are great without food, but sometimes suffer when paired with decadent food such as you offer.
I haven't tried incall yet but if this is the kind of thought that ladies generally put into the evening then I have been missing something! I would suggest fresh fruits and vegetables too as well as a choice when it comes to wine (some guys don't drink and some prefer whites). Is this only for 3 hours or longer engagements? I hope so. For 1-2 hours there's a sense of urgency that doesn't always leave time to really enjoy the food. Some of the things you mention are delicious and very rich, the gentlemen could be wary of how their breath will be effected. Maybe grab a couple boxes of cheap travel toothbrushes? I'd be wary of pate and Stilton and brochette washed down with red wine. I'm sure I wouldn't want to kiss me after that so I'd be afraid you wouldn't either!
Usuallu if it is 3 hours plus incall I try and have something for us to munch on. I let them bring the wine.I always have coffee on hand. But I get hungry after playing so fruit usually helps bring the blood sugar up so we can play again and again.
Kissss
Food, wine, and sex just go together.
I totally understand a guy who just wants to drop some ging so he can drop his load, then move on.
But there's so much more to share with you and your sisters!
You know, when I host a meeting at home-- don't tell anybody, but I'm in a lot of active groups in my community-- I gott'a put out the hors d'oruvres, snacks, goodies, coffee, etc., and move on to the single malts for the committee members who stick around after the meeting-- I think women are inclined to think this way to Nth power.
So do what you're inclined to do-- create the experience that nurtures you AND your clients-- and ultimately you'll find yourself surrounded by those who "get it."
Autumn , sounds to me like you are a wonderful host who goes through a great deal of trouble to make their guests comfortable.
Hope this doesn't sound like an insult, its not meant to be. This is strictly my own opinion on pate and some of the other little delicasies that sometimes get passed onto me with a cracker that I end up holding in my hand until I can find a wastebasket or an open window to throw it out without anyone noticing. When the tray comaes back around to me I very politely say oh no no no no I've had far too much already.
All my life people have been telling me liver is good for me and I should eat it. While maybe that is true why is it always disguised when people serve it. Why do they put French sounding names on food to try to sucker me into eating them. I can smell liver a mile away no matter how its packaged, named or served for me it smells, looks and tastes like shit. If its buried in onions its still gonna smell and taste like shit. If its put on a cracker and called pate it still is going to have all the same characteristics of shit.
Oh but I digress,in answer to your question I would go with the cheese. lol
Wow!! what a wonderful way to greet your guest. I have had one other experience where a lady had a light lunch of cheese, crackers, fruit etc. made the whole experience soooooo!! much better. BTW jpeg 133 is the hottest pic on the net. You are really special, and I am getting on a plane and coming to Seattle!!
blushing, thank you harst.
There's only one traditional "ho food" I know-and that's pasta (alla')puttanesca, named that way because it was a favorite of the working girls of Ancient Rome, or that's how I heard the story.
Nice touch that you cater your own soirees. I know a couple of ladies who cook for their clients, off the clock, and a few more that do as part of a package. Either way, it's appreciated. If I ever book with you, I'll make sure to come hungry-in more ways than one!
Btw, I haven't played Pate cake in years but I imagine it would make for some interesting foreplay.
Cheers!
I've never felt so much like a shit-kicker as when reading this thread. I know there are women out of my league, and I've met plenty of classy providers--I just didn't realize that some providers were completely out of my league, too.
I love food--you can look at me or any member of my family and tell we like our victuals. The horsey-overs sound really, really nice, but I kind of agree with the folks who mentioned sloshy bellies/gas and maybe bad breath from the spices, and cheese for the reasons someone else stated, too. I never wanted to eat anything before visiting someone before, but I can see how you might get hungry during a multi-hour date that doesn't include supper.
So, fruit (apples and grapes--someone already suggested that) and crackers, wine (Mr. Robert B. Parker be damned--I LIKE Riesling), water and coffee should about do it for the basics, and would be more than enough for me. As for the fine foods you listed, yeah, that's a little intimidatingly high-toned for me, although I love those scallops-wrapped-in-bacon things you get at wedding receptions. I'm more a chips-and-salsa kinda guy. Sounds like you really care about your clients, though, and that's something to be proud of.