Don't take these posts too seriously. Unfortunately, he's asked this and similar questions countless times. I am not sure what he's after, but you are right, he should take it elsewhere.
P.S. Just review his posts and you'll see the pattern.
-- Modified on 1/4/2005 9:19:51 PM
The thread below was getting long, so I am continuing the thread up here. Some of you are wondering why I choose to hobby when I have an accomodating wife at home. Isn't the hobby about sex AND variety? Isn't variety the reason why hobbiest try many girls over the years? Isn't it also possible that sex with wife may not be as exhilirating as sex with provider?
Here's my background so you can better understand where I'm coming from. I have been married for 6 years, since I was 24. Before that I had 2 college girlfriends. Back in college, the girlfriend(s) and I did BBFS, BBBJTCIMNS, BB-Greek and ALL positions on a regular basis. There were no std concerns because we were all inexperienced and faithful. It was all about sex, and finally we broke up because we didn't communicate much.... Then I started dating my future wife, who was actually in another country at that time. The long distance dating didn't allow any physical contact, but we communicated a lot. We were engaged before we had our first sexual experience together. I do not regret marrying this girl because she is beautiful, smart, kind, and she loves me so much. The problem is, we are never in the mood at the same time. We don't enjoy the same sex positions, and we are basically sexually incompatible (I think). I figure I can live without sex just fine, since I have other interests such as music and video games. Later, we decided to start a family, and we conceived the baby by the calendar method. And that was the last time my wife and I were on the same bed together. I found the hobby right before the baby was born, and it was incredible. I was scared and excited at the same time. When the baby was born I decided not to hobby anymore because I didn't want to risk losing my family. Recently I started again because I couldn't take it any more.
So in the end, I am looking for variety and sexual gratification which I am not getting at home. Even though my wife wants to please me, I am convinced we are sexually incompatible. Can you all blame me for turning down my loving wife and paying a provider?
I had intended to make a several thousand dollar contribution to the victims of the Tsunami. However, after reading your repeated inane posts, I have decided to send you the money for long-term counseling. You are in greater need than they.
The man has so many fears that he should exit the hobby and never look back. He is the one and only steward of his happiness.
If you love your wife, You should devote your time and money to seeking help to save your marriage. Please tell me that hobbying isn't more important than your wife to you,
Don't take these posts too seriously. Unfortunately, he's asked this and similar questions countless times. I am not sure what he's after, but you are right, he should take it elsewhere.
P.S. Just review his posts and you'll see the pattern.
-- Modified on 1/4/2005 9:19:51 PM
Why not just let him blather? No harm done, right?
Frankly, when my brain sees "with kids" in title of the post I just skip over it anyway... Same as in the real world... just start talking about your kids and...
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I agree. Let the dude vent. He is having some moral dilemmas or guilts that he need to deal with. By telling it to us, I think it helps him sort things out and decide a course of action. In my humble opinion, I think he needs to work it out with his wife and try not to turn her down when she wants to be intimate. It is as bad as she turning him down when he wants to be intimate. Both parties need to work at it to make the marriage and sex works but if he has already given up on the sex, it would be a problem. I can see why he finds the vanilla sex with his wife boring compared to his previous relationships where he has done it all with his other gfs. I certainly hope he would work at making the marriage work despite the fact he is hobbying. Maybe as he improves his sex life with his wife, he can decrease the amount of time he hobbys and eventually quite. But I understand how addicting this hobby is and how difficult it is to quit. So good luck to him and best wishes!
I have been married for 12 yrs with 2 great kids. My wife and I had sex 5 times in 2004. That was alot! She has no interest in bed anymore. Now life is good because she makes about 500K/yr to my 100K. So I hobby, keep it discrete and hope for the best. Met a girl that I have a regular thing with and her 34D's and she has her own BF - we are fuck buddies Life is good, hobbying is great, just gotta be smart and not throw it up in her face. And yes, I love my wife and kids and I want to keep things as they are. Is that so bad that I want a complete family life for my children? I sure didn't get one.
This hobby has kept me married for the last 5 yrs.
...and I missed the part where you mentioned her name, phone number, etc.
It seems like you have no responsibility in this matter? Lucky her. She gets a guy who doesnt like sex when she does, doesnt like the positions she likes and get to have a guy cheating on her. When did that become acceptable to you?
When did causing her all that pain become ok?
When did you become so dead inside that it was ok to give up on other people?
Take some responsibility for your problems. You are the cause in your life. Not her!
She only wants to love you and be loved by you. she has given you a child! You are not even giving her the option to live a life she chooses. A life with a faithful husband a life with a man who cares about her sexual needs. an authentic life.
Go tell her everything and let her choose if she is willing to accept you as you are. Be an honest man and responsible man.
Otherwise stop boring us with your sad tale of "poor meeeeeee"
I've read your posts and half the time I think your fake and looking for attention, but then again, if what you say is real, for once in your life be a MAN. Do your friggin manly duties for once. Your married for gods sake. You farmer bob and you'd rather go to the store for milk. All the while sitting there wondering hmmm, is the milk tainted. Oh poooor meeeee, I didn't get laid a lot when I was younger. You know what? Look at the news for once, there are bigger problems out there than the itch in your pants. Your 30 and you've got your whole life ahead of you. You can't wait till the kids grown up to get back to the hobby? You flat out disgust me. You've got a beautiful 6 mo. old and a loving wife. This is the most important time in your familys life. Show your wife you love her. She put in 9 months of hard labor to give you a child that will bear your name. While your at it, get out of bed in the middle of the night for once when that baby is crying so your wife can have some rest. That's what a real man does. Get out there and bring home the bacon and not STD's. You know what, I've got a better idea, divorce her now. That way she can find someone that will really take care of her now and your kid won't have to grow up and find out what a pathetic loser you are.
GROW THE HELL UP!!!
I would like to offer advice but first I need his address so I can bill him.
After all Dr. Luvsgirls advice to the young immature man is not free.
Or could it be HE has the headaches and his wife wants to become a Provider?
Now that would really be something, he is here serching for an inexpensive Provider and finds his wife seeking a Hobbyist!
Only reason I said inexpensive is the court will require him to pay child support soon and that will take most his money.
Poor chap out to buy a family size jar of Vasiline.