I let my ATF know that I had real feelings for her and now she will not even return my calls. It was not a gushy love thing I only told her that I cared what happened to her and if she needed anything I would help as much as I could. Women, can't live with them... can't live without them. Oh well
If she can't handle the fact that some cares about her, It's her problem not yours don't beat yourself up over it. I know you don't like losing your ATF but, They're more out there.
Maybe it was a mistake because of the negative results. Nothing ventured nothing gained. She's the one with a problem. She probably cut you off to remain detached and not develop any feelings for you.
All things, people and situations are temporary. Trying to hold on to something forever is what creates suffering. So, you "blew it" and now it's over. What that means is it's time to move on to your next ATF.
Take it easy and let her go. It was time for it to end.
...than to just say that you care. A provider with a client has more to fear, more to be threatened by from a statement like that than civvy women does (that is, a civvy woman you have sex with). But being there at the right time would mean more to her.
And that takes long-term patience at low-reward, because the right time may never come. And either, in the meantime, your caring is either self-sustaining or it's not.
/Zin
You are incredibly naive if you think most providers would not impute deeper meaning to your statement. In providerese, saying "I really care about you and will be of any assistance I can" = "I really want to be your benefactor/sugardaddy/boyfriend".
Unless she needs you as a client, you are unfortunately a goner.
Let's some time pass before you call her again. And then send a nice note to say you have a "grip" on things. She'll likely take you back. IMHO, many providers fear real intimacy for lots of reasons, namely, the boyfriend/benefactor/papi rarely works. Added to the fact that she probably already has someone that she cares for and that is a real problem, because very often in my observations (and insider info) tell me that the main guy can be somewhat of an arse. I know a hoobyist who dated a provider for a bit and all he did was make plans for a special dinner and outing and she lost it, telling him he was trying to "control" her time.
ay...Se va bem
From the sound of things, she feels uncomfortable having you in her inner sanctum. You should not put yourself in the position of being on the outside looking in, you will find another ATF much quicker than you think you can.
Do you REALLY want to take care of a person who doesn't have the common courtesy of returning your calls?
TET
you try to be the nice guy you really are and it turns around on you. this happened to me recently with a provider who i saw a few times. i truly enjoyed spending time with her and i got the impression she felt the same about me...we had alot in common and similar feelings and outlooks on life. i felt it was genuine unlike most other experiences i've had as a hobbiest. the funny thing is she actually invited me verbally and in an email to spend time with her as a "friend" outside of the whole "business" arrangement. after i graciously and tactfully accepted her offer, i never heard from her again despite a couple emails and a voicemail. i have my theory on what happened but it really doesn't matter. i've chosen to move on because if someone doesn't have the common courtesy to provide me with a response (positive or negative), then they are not worthy of my friendship.
NiceGuy
I don't think there is anything wrong with telling your ATF how you feel, as long as you draw clear lines. I have told my ATF that I love her in the sense that I care for her deeply, but that I will never fall in love with her. I have told her that I will never leave my wife, but I want her to care about me, which I believe she does.
Falling in love is a whole different ball of wax. If you are interested you can see my post on the Newbie board about a stripper that I fell in love with and made my mistress for years.
I made the same mistake over a year ago with a currently well-established provider - she was a fledgling provider at the time. I revealed my true feelings to her and she interpreted them as a dangerous obsession. If you don't have Robert Redford looks, you are in competition with plenty of other clients and therefore dispensable. Lesson learned: avoid expressing emotional intimacy and only call a provider if you want to schedule an appointment.