First rule......Well ya know......
and on down the list..........
#2345678 I ask "no white envelope",,,, Clent ask "white envelope"....
This has probably been asked before (how many times has a post started this way??), but...
I've seen this one provider a few times over the last year and, while not my ATF, we talk alot outside of any dates and seemed to connect as friends. Recently, to my surprise she asked me to do something with her that is completely platonic. I haven't even accepted yet but I was wondering, since she asked and nothing date-like would be occuring, would a donation be expected? I will pick up the tab on what we she wants to do but I don't want to insult her by offering or embarass myself by not offering.
TIA
omg..if she asked you on a date, then its on her! JKJK
I would assume that its a friendly outing and would not expect to pay...but bring it anyway! hehe
Relax and have a great time.
Let her set the pace and determine the date's direction. If you'd normally offer to pay for activities on the date, do so in this case as well. By all means, let anything physical be initiated by her; behave as if you're on a first date with a woman you've known well platonically for some time.
While on the date, strive to find conversation having nothing to do with the hobby. If she initiates such a conversation, gently steer the talk to something else. Above all, make it clear to her that you’re with her because you like her and enjoy her company, not because you’re interested in having sex with her.
If you have a good time on the date, send her a tasteful note and maybe some flowers the next day thanking her for the lovely time and gently expressing your desire to see her again (if that’s the case). Then, let her make the next move. The last thing you want to do is make her sorry she asked you.
You may want to have a cash reserve on hand in case she hands you a bill at the end of the date, but if she does, you'll know how you really rate in her eyes.
Good luck. But remember, be careful what you wish for; you may get it.
... don't pay for her time. Pay for the date. Don't have sex with her. People and Friends do that.
Expect to have a pleasant experience. You probably will & good luck
I would love it if I were to be asked to something outside the confines of a "date". There are many many very interesting women that I would love to go to the museum with or sit by the water and talk with.
I would ask out of respect and pose it just that way that you respect her profession and you wanted to be clear.
I would play golf or racquetball with my lawyer and expect not to pay, but if we discussed law, as it pertains to me, then he is within his rights to charge.
I once helped a woman move a few blocks, but sex wasnt even on my mind. (At least not the whole time.)
This summer, I was called to go have drinks with a provider/artist while she waited for her next appointment. Unfortunatly it was too last minute for me to drive the hour it would have taken to meet her. Because of that I am afraid it strained our relationship. So be open and generous with your feelings and words. You will have less mixup and let stress.
Comunicate, communicate, communicate!
First rule......Well ya know......
and on down the list..........
#2345678 I ask "no white envelope",,,, Clent ask "white envelope"....
How low can I go for you?
Seems simple to me. You said, "she asked me to do something with her that is completely platonic." She asked you to hang out. So, I couldn't imagine having to pay for her time. If you want to pay for the date, that's up to you, but I bet she'll offer to pay at least for herself. Post an update on that if you feel like it.
I have in the past been with a provider I liked several times and we'd talk before or after the session and she used to mention that we could go to the movies or something similar. That never happened, but she did call me out of the blue a couple of times to see if I was up for some fun, etc. Nice enough girl, but it was obvious she needed some money, she liked and trusted me, and needed some business. You have something different going on and should proceed with caution if you desire something more, because things can get tricky. If you're going to be just friends, you should be alright.
Have fun.
Why should there be guess work? You say she asked you to go with her to an event as a friend? You said both of you discussed going out as friends, obviously she interested in pursuing that.
Seen a couple of posts that say "behave as if" and "act as if" and to me thats just flat out bad advice if you want your friendship to have a chance of growing.
She took the intitiative to invite you as a friend, I don't see any double meaning in the way the offer was extended why would you take the chance of offending her. Be yourself and have a good time with a "friend"
Just let her know you are not sure what the situation is, and ask for clarification.
I mean, why get worried about it. Just find out what she has in mind.
Light
"Cowards can never be moral."
M.K. Gandhi
-- Modified on 1/4/2005 9:52:00 PM