None of those are inherently demeaning IMO. If you do not intend to demean someone, and they still feel as though they are demeaned, then it is all in their head. The kneeling position itself is simply more practical, and less strain to the neck. CIM feels better. (apparently) and facials...well, I personally do not understand them but whatever tickles your pickle, you know?
Saw a provider awhile ago who wouldn't give me a BJ kneeling in front of me because she said it was "demeaning". I didn't make a fuss and she gave me a very good BJ with me lying down on the bed - so no complaints. Did some soul-searching afterwards, and realized that she might have a point. I mean there really is an extra kick in having the woman kneel in front of you, which goes beyond the stimulus of the BJ - and that extra kick might have an ugly side to it. The same would probably apply for CIM or Facial. Just curious what others might have to say on that subject, ladies, fellas.
I love it and do not feel demeaned (I have a submissive streak in me), but each lady has different preferences, and her boundaries need to be respected.
Playing out our fantasies or our darker side in a _mutually consensual_ way can be fun, and I think it's a safe outlet for some of our proclivities.
-- Modified on 12/6/2004 4:05:25 AM
communication = the response you get
I've received BJs from women who kneeled in front of me while I stood, and have also given oral sex to a standing woman while I did the kneeling. Seems like the most logical position to use when your partner is standing, and I don't remember any feelings of dominance or submissiveness in either position. So the question of demeaning or not demeaning never entered my mind.
Demeaning is what you make it, I think.
Hm.
I can certainly see her views on this though I do not share them. I find it quite a turn on to be of service. I suppose the perceived difference is atmosphere - in other positions the act is more of an active and offered gift, while on the knees it is more submissive.
Each to their own, and much respect for all.
For gentlemen of a certain age it's a case of it being easier to maintain while seated rather than flat on a bed. (Of course, I personally wouldn't know.)
I agree it can also be due to other physical reasons and not a bit demeaning though i have to admit knee pads or a pillow is greatly appreciated at such times
It's often more comfortable and just makes sense. In that context, it's no more demeaning than giving someone a pedicure. I agree about the facials though, that's seriously demeaning and anyone who tries it on me can cheerfully anticipate that I will spend the rest of the session peeling pieces of his scrotum off my stilettos.
I have known some women, both providers and non-providers, who asked me to do that. I get nothing from it, as I am not into the visual, but when they convinced me that they really wanted it, I was happy to make them happy.
One person's demeaning can be another person's liberating.
A position that usually ends up with her sitting on my face.
If just being on your knees is demeaning, then her sitting on my face must be demeaning for me, but I have never felt that way.
Obviously any of those positions can be demeaning. It depends on how it plays with the partner your doing it for, and how you deal with it yourself. If it goes to their head (no pun intended), or if they show they have "dominance problems," then you shouldn't go to your knees for that partner; it sends the wrong signal.
/Zin
None of those are inherently demeaning IMO. If you do not intend to demean someone, and they still feel as though they are demeaned, then it is all in their head. The kneeling position itself is simply more practical, and less strain to the neck. CIM feels better. (apparently) and facials...well, I personally do not understand them but whatever tickles your pickle, you know?
I've given head to lots of ladies while they towered over me--perhaps I have a submissive streak. On the other side, if a woman gives up a BJ while kneeling or allows CIM or facial, I go with it. Bottom line is I tend to go with the flow so the lady only moves into positions she's comfortable with.
Apparently for some it does but I just can't agree. Sometimes just the thought my lovely lady on her knees as she deep throats me is enough to keep me going for days. Or the thought of her lying on the bed with me at the end is great too. But on the same token I like to submit as well. When she pulls your hair hard and guides you to just the right spot for your lips and tongue or climbs on board your aching cock and gives you direct instructions and controls the moment completely or, uses your favorite tie to secure you to the bedpost ..... we can go on and on. There are several ways we can surrender in a moment that don't reflect on our relationships or respect for one another. They are fantasy. They are extensions of our passion. Even Emma I would say is being a bit too picky. I'm not saying I need to come on your face all the time Emma but if your face is as beutiful as I think it is then maybe in one session after we had been together a few times I would ask for that. Not to be disgraceful but to live out a little fantasy.