> How to Shower Like a Woman:
>
> 1.  Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
> lights and darks.
> 2.  Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along
> the way, cover up any exposed areas.
> 3.  Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
> more sit-ups.
> 4.  Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
> wide loofah and pumice stone.
> 5.  Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
> vitamins.
> 6.  Wash your hair again to make sure its clean.
> 7.  Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with
> natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
> 8.  Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
> red.
> 9.  Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
> 10.  Rinse conditioner off hair.
> 11.  Shave armpits, bikini line and legs.
> 12.  Turn off shower.
> 13.  Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray
> mold spots with Tilex.
> 14.  Get out of shower. Dry with towel size of a small country. Wrap hair
> in super absorbent towel.
> 15.  Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
> 16.  Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
> 17.  If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
>
>
> How to Shower Like a Man:
>
> 1.  Take off clothes while sitting on edge of the bed and leave them in a
> pile.
> 2.  Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener
> at her making the "woo-woo" sound.
> 3.  Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your
> wiener and scratch your butt.
> 4.  Get in the shower.
> 5.  Wash your face.
> 6.  Wash your armpits.
> 7.  Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
> 8.  Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound
> in the shower.
> 9.  Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding areas.
> 10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
> 11. Shampoo your hair.
> 12. Make a shampoo mohawk.
> 13. Pee.
> 14. Rinse off and get out of the shower.
> 15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
> hanging out of tub the whole time.
> 16. Admire wiener size in the mirror again.
> 17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
> 18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull
> off towel, shake wiener at her and make the "woo-woo" sound again.
> 19. Throw wet towel on bed.