Quote: "If Singer wants to do is to impose a national identity card for his group, then they really should go elsewhere to spread their unsubstantiated rumors and hearsay."
I take it to mean that I and my group are spreading unsubtantiated rumors and hearsay. Does it not? But, if I am mistaken, my apologies.
Unfortunately I can't pm or email you because you are posting under an alias, which is another reason why I am advocating against this practice. I don't really even know for sure who I am talking to. I have no ill-will towards anyone unless I am attacked by them first. Many that know me personally or know of me will vouch for that. If you would like to contact me, please do so. I'm sure you know how.
I realize that this topic has come up many times before, but I'd like to bring it up again in light of the many discussions brought about on safety for the ladies in the last few days. I understand the need to have one or two alias', but why do we have an unlimited number of choices? I understand the possible need for the alias in the posts, but I do not agree with people having the ability to come into chat under an alias. I think it is deceptive and causes more problems than it helps. Yes, some of the fun may even have to suffer, but for the overall good I am all for giving up that feature.
Safety is not to be messed with. When a lady in chat (or a guy for that matter) doesn't know who they are chatting with and potentially makes arrangements to meet somebody with a fake name, that could be dangerous. Call it stalking or harrassment, this person could make your life miserable. We need to be careful out there!
I hope Staff takes a close look at this in the new website design and considers the pros and cons to the alias feature.
The alias is unimportant. Because the board is supposedly a place for public discourse (and yes that includes opposing opinions) then it matters not so long as the participants don't get into protracted name calling and not respecting someone's point of view even when it differs from our own. There are a number of regulars (providers and hobbyists) who tend to get into an Amen corner and pile-on contributors who may have difficulty expressing themselves or who may not post as often. Often, it's the regulars who profess the most inane maneure or the hobbyist who thinks he is scoring points with a provider because he sticks his tongue up her ass with every post. And often, there are some who want to get a "riSE" out of the board by posting outright lies and half-truths because they know it will push buttons.
The thing about stalkers is that they will even use the American Constitution's amendments to justify their reasons for their inalienable right to cause fear in those that they wish to target.
Do I think most stalkers are dangerous? Not really, but the ones that are super slick, the ones that play mind games and intimidate women with precision are to be taken into consideration here. One day this type of stalker could lose it, and then we all saw it coming. Basically a stalker will continue the same ol', same ol' with new victims, or he will escalate, until he feels the need to be violent. I doubt stalkers will change their modus operandi. They are pretty good at their game. They have had years of practice.
As far as I am concerned, the issue of an alias is irrelevant to any issue concerning safety or client verification. I am very courteous to providers that I choose to see, I insure that I have a good setting for them and have counted their money carefully and presented it tastefully. I will also provide adequate information to a lady to insure that she can verify that I am who I say I am. One piece of information that I will not provide is my TER handle or any of my TER alias.
I agree with you that people here should not use an alias to attack others without cause. Generally the moderators here catch on to that type of stuff and put an end to it, so I have no real concerns about people here frying me unmercifully in public. What some may say about my handle in their PMs is their own business and has no impact upon how I behave or view myself.
http://webtv.theeroticreview.com/msgBoard/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=29098&boardID=7&page=1
Unfortunately some of the people in this hobby completely spoil the all fun for the others. Those that lurk have reasons to veil their identity, since their repeated attempts to contact are thwarted due to rejection and they just cannot accept no for an answer.
I made the choice earlier this year to go on tour because of a stalker. Later he was a factor in my decision to leave Los Angeles completely, and to never disclose my final relocation. I have thrown in the white towel and wish him good riddance.
How do I see the DNS list? I know which board you are talking about but I've never seen that list. (BTW I am a new provider) Thanks, Lauren
It's fairly easy for a lady in this business to change identities by changing her stage name, getting new pictures taken, and getting a new phone. In the same basic ways a guy could do the same thing. I'm interested to hear what others have to say but find it very hard to believe, and since I don't chat I don't have a dog in the fight so don't really care, that doing as you suggest would really make a difference.
While it is true that a guy could change his "identity", it takes a while to become established on this board. Again, I am not condoning the use of TER handles to use as a screening process, but it does happen. That's all.
Using an alias to protect the "real" handle allows you to manipulate what others think of you by hiding certain points of view behind "fake" names. I have no qualms about posting under my real handle. I let people see me as I am. You can agree or disagree with my point of view and it doesn't hurt my feelings. In fact a discussion board would have very little "discussion" if everybody saw it the same way.
i agree...sometimes we have fun with an alias...but the profile should still reveal our main alias. This site has saved many of us from rip offs and women with questionable practices...it wouldn't be complete if the ladies are not offererd the same protection. If both sides of the aisle are offered protection then TER will be complete in doing its job. There are some people out there who use alias' to hide and lurk...there are some who use it for questionable practices...there is one out there now...an evil predator, maybe not physical (yet) but destructive nonetheless...it's time to out him and others who seek protection within the walls of TER, the place we (men and women) come to seek protection.
i think the profile revealing the main handle is good idea. but, let's not get away from the purpose of TER. fact is, it's an avenue of "consumer information", if you will, and as such it's not TER's job to protect the ladies. they do a pretty good job taking care of themselves.
in chat it matters; let's be able to call up the profile and see just who is behind an alias. in the boards, let's trust the moderators to do their jobs.
Then I favor a public outing as long as the people presenting the charges are truthful and present an accurate account of the activities of such a person.
What I do not like, and it has happened several times here, is when a poster, either a provider or a hobbyists make statements that call into question the character of another member and does not go the full route and lay out their valid charges against that person.
Maybe the owner(s) of TER will consider setting up a blacklist board that people who want to access can assess. This board should allow anyone to lay out issues that they have with another member or even providers who are not members but have questionable practices. The truth is not slander, as long as a person can provide some form of valid information to buttress their issue with another then they should go ahead and settle the issue that they have with the person. Doing so will help everyone, especially those that may fall victim to the actions of the person in question, assuming that the person is in fact is a bad person.
There is a major difference between the discussion boards and chat. In the former misstatements and rumors can, and are, publicly challenged. Posts stay there forever. Not in chat.
Chat is a totally different animal. In practice, TER's chat has become an open party line for 25-30 LA and OC men and women to say what they wish without any challenge. It is a fairly private club. If Singer wants to do is to impose a national identity card for his group, then they really should go elsewhere to spread their unsubstantiated rumors and hearsay.
As to safety, last night one of the daily habitues of chat gave an extremely good explanation and argument for providers requiring reference check info. The discussion may have lasted 30 minutes. Everything she said was valid. That is the safety issue. That was extremely well provided for.
The rest is merely an attempt of a small minority of avid chatters to keep others out.
because you may have something to hide. What is the reason to have to hide behind an alias? Isn't your TER handle an alias to begin with? Nobody really would know your true identity anyway through your handle. Is it because there is some weight given by some of the ladies to see or not see a particular client because of their handle? Maybe?? Will your handle's "reputation" be damaged because of something questionable you post? What is the fear?
If you read my initial post, I do distinguish the difference between discussion boards and chat. Chat is an open forum that I nor anyone else in there has control over. People come and go and are generally accepted or ignored based on what they say in there. I have no desire to control the chat room. But I like to know who I am chatting with. As with any social gathering, certain types of behaviour will draw certain responses. If the general response is negative, could there be a reason?
How would you know if what I say are unsubstantiated rumors and hearsay? I have two well known providers, active in TER, that will back up any of my "claims"; one of whom I have never met in person. This predator has been harrassing them with numerous emails every day, phone calls, and even to a point of buying a map program to study the area where a provider lives! I have lots of written proof to believe what I have been told. Scary!!
Concerning safety, here's an example... A provider refuses to see a particular client. He then changes his "identity" through an alias and contacts the provider again. Fortunately this provider was smart enough to catch on at the last minute and told him to get lost. This is an actual incident as reported by the provider. I know that TER is not the way to screen and any lady that uses TER as the only means of screening is asking for trouble, but it still happens. There are many new providers that find out about TER and are not familiar with the ropes. Does their safety have no value?
I have nothing to gain from sticking my neck out, but I do have concern for safety and well-being of the ladies out there.
Singer, nowhere in my post did I state that YOU were spreading rumors and hearsay. It was a generalized statement as to the "group." Actually, what I was referring to was a statement made yesterday about the Chicago murder of a Cheryl, in which the provider said that the police knew who had done it. I checked the Chicago board and the last statement was that the police had no suspect. In fact, it seems that there have been three recent murders in Chicago of apparent prostitutes. That provider was spreading (or inventing) a rumor.
Also, you are aware that the Anglo-Saxon legal system outlawed the star chamber hundreds of years ago. That is why we have trials. Generally there are two sides to a story; sometimes each may be truthful. Ask Kobe.
Why buy a map program when Map Quest and Yahoo have freebies. In fact, what is the point of a map program when one was given the address? Hmmmmm.
Lastly, should you wish to "discuss" this further, why not pm or email? That is how you ended a bad situation earlier today in chat.
Your post shows all your true colors. (applause.)
What Singer is doing is not stalking but reading and looking for verification and truth. You really have to be careful with your terms and facts. For the interests of you and others, here are some of the modern categories of stalking. Stalkers are dangerous and please be careful when using the term. Singer is not a stalker !!
Mullen, P. E., Pathe, M., Purcell, R., & Stuart, G. W. (1999). A study of stalkers. American Journal of Psychiatry, 156, 1244-1249 have identified 5 five categories of stalkers based on motivations and context: rejected, intimacy seekers, incompetent, resentful, and predatory.
The Rejected:
* As a result of a relationship dissolution (i.e. estrangement, disruptions, break-ups) from an ex-partner (but inclusive of a parent, friend, or work associate) this type of stalker can be observed desiring a mixture of reconciliation and revenge.
* This individual often experiences feelings of loss, frustration, anger, jealousy, malevolence, and depression.
* The Simple Obsessional subtype given above closely approximates this type of stalker.
The Intimacy Seeker:
* These stalkers pursue an intimate relationship with an individual perceived as their true love, but their attentions are not wanted by the object of their affection.
* The type of stalkers who fall into this category often have a delusional disorder (i.e. erotomania). Those who represent "intimacy seekers" may suffer from other disorders (i.e. schizophrenia, mania) or hold morbid infatuations.
* Erotomania and Love Obsessional best represent this category.
The Incompetent:
* These intellectually limited and socially incompetent individuals desire intimacy, but the object of their affection does not reciprocate these feelings.
* They often lack sufficient skills in courting rituals.
* They may also display a sense of entitlement: believing they deserve a partner, but lack the ability or desire to engage in subdued, preliminary interpersonal relations.
* Another aspect of these stalkers is that they may have had previous stalking victims.
* Unlike the intimacy seekers, those in the incompetent category do not view the victim as having unique qualities; they are not infatuated with the victim -- only attracted, and do not assert that the affection is mutual.
The Resentful:
* The goal of this stalker is to frighten and distress the victim.
* These stalkers may also experience feelings of injustice and desire revenge.
The Predatory:
* The power and control that comes from stalking a victim gives these stalkers a great deal of enjoyment.
* The stalker often strives to learn more about the victim.
* The stalker may even mentally rehearse a plan to attack the victim.
* Most of these stalkers are diagnosed paraphilias and, compared to the previous four categories, they were more likely to have histories of sexual offense convictions
Hope this helps.
Based upon your reply it seems obvious that trek and rantsnrumours are the same poster. At times in the past posters who have used 2 aliases on the same thread have been moderated by staff.
You insist on imposing your will. You read what you want to read.
http://webtv.theeroticreview.com/msgBoard/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=114270&boardID=1&page=
http://webtv.theeroticreview.com/msgBoard/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=114559&boardID=1&page=
Hey class today's lesson is stalking. Can we say stalking?
It is sad my stalker still gets to lash out at me even when l have made it abundantly clear that I want nothing to do with him. He lurks in chat under an alias trying to communicate to me, sends me unwanted e-mails, PMs, phone calls, and posts this twisted stuff on the boards. That is the least of it, and I am not the only one.
Pay attention: I have told you many times I want you to leave me alone. You sick, and sorry excuse for a human being, I hope you rot in a fetid hell. Perhaps the big magnifying glass focused on you now will make you squirm out of your delusion.
Last time I read the board rules, you were not allowed to post under an alias and use your TER name in the same thread. Moderation sucks, getting banned is even worse. Somehow I doubt any of this would break your stride. You will reinvent yourself: cough up a new IP and identity and keep at your well rehearsed charades. There is an endless supply of women right?
Since you insist on continuing to harass me, I will now focus that beam from the magnifying glass a little tighter on you.
http://www.esia.net/Common_Traits_of_Stalkers.htm
Quote: "If Singer wants to do is to impose a national identity card for his group, then they really should go elsewhere to spread their unsubstantiated rumors and hearsay."
I take it to mean that I and my group are spreading unsubtantiated rumors and hearsay. Does it not? But, if I am mistaken, my apologies.
Unfortunately I can't pm or email you because you are posting under an alias, which is another reason why I am advocating against this practice. I don't really even know for sure who I am talking to. I have no ill-will towards anyone unless I am attacked by them first. Many that know me personally or know of me will vouch for that. If you would like to contact me, please do so. I'm sure you know how.
about the same incident. I agree with your assessment of the situation.
Alias' are fun. Alias' are part of the programming of this site and as such are a fact of life. Some of the one time use Alias' are awfully funny, taken on the spur of the moment and sometimes, actually providing more (better?) commentary than the body of the message.
If you participate here, as a lurker or as a poster, you know that Alias' exist. They are what they are....
And I whole-heartedly agree. When it is abused, however, is when the fun stops. It would be a shame to lose it completely, that is why I am recommending a limited number of aliases, and not get rid of it in the discussion boards. In fact, I will admit to having several myself.
My beef comes in when people can show up in chat under an alias and say anything they wish without having to shoulder any responsibilty for their behavior. When it hurts to common good, and benefits the few, my vote is for it to go. But thanks for your POV.
In Chat, there's a cute little check box next to names... click it and they shut up. Your chat window will not display what they enter. This would be "shunning" in the old fashioned sense. If enough people in the chat room "shunned" the unruly, they would quit being unruly. Obviously they do it to get your reaction. The very thing that would "get" them the most is the worst insult of all... being ignored.
Just my random thought.
-- Modified on 11/28/2004 11:59:11 PM
If they use them just to harass or insult?
I have one alias. I think I used it twice early on in my posting career. It's been gathering cobwebs since. I don't see too much a point to them.
Besides the humor, I think that aliases serve a good purpose: they allow the poster to evade harassment when something controversial or unpopular needs to be said.
/Zin
but if they are just doing it so that they can be a dickhead with impunity, then they should get their annoying arses kicked.
I absolutely agree! However internet chat and discussion boards require deconstruction analysis as a constructed community. Protected by the anonymity of the computer medium, and with few social context cues to indicate 'proper' ways to behave, users are able to express and experiment with aspects of their personality that social inhibition would generally encourage them to suppress. The lack of social context cues obscures the boundaries that would generally separate acceptable and unacceptable forms of behaviour. The uses of aliases is in the nowhere of electron state. This is an artifically created community held together by multiple purposes. The traditional nature of discourse is challenged both for the good and bad. It is in fact a subversive medium. The discussion boards and chat have no intrinsic moral implications. It provides a medium in which behavior that is both ouside of and in opposition to accepted social norms is accepted and even encouraged. There is a lack of conventional social and emotive context cues, yet conversation can be highly personalized and a social structure has emerged. Disinhibition and the lack of sanctions encouraging self-regulation lead to extremes of behaviour as we have seen. We need a way to punish the abusers of this communication system with out losing its boundary breaking capabilities.
Sorry for the academic presentation but I am trapped in the role. C'est la vie! Enjoy and lets get rid of the walking wounded who want to inflict hurt and damage to other members of the community by hiding behind 'alias' for they are asses!!
Just don't take the boards so darned serious! There are all kinds and types on these boards. I'm sure some of the participants would prefer not to have to get involved with having to receive PMs from many who participate. Particularly when some of those PMs are from "the crazies". Alias are just fine. Try not getting too wrapped up in what you read is even better.