Going to see my ATF tomorrow for the last time. Having trouble with reality vs fantasy. I've fallen in love with her and I know it can not work. So,I figure the best thing to do is walk away from it. My question is do I tell her this is the last time and why I can not see her again?
You are making the right decision in walking away from the situation and should be complimented for being able to distinguish between reality and fantasy. You are under no obligation to tell her how you are feeling or why you are moving in a different direction. If you elect to tell her, be prepared to deal with whatever emotional and other fallout that may arise.
....you never know-- she could be going through the same thing or somthing similar. We (providers) sometimes catch feelings for someone we know wont work for us too. But as rational human beings, we try to discern what avenue may be best for us to take where niether of us will be hurting later on. With you I suggest the same. If you you think its best you dont continue with her, then you should tell her. You may hurt her if you dont.
Incedently, you may want to consider how fast and what causes your falling for someone. This isnt a shot at you-- I just want you to be sure for yourself that this wouldnt happen again.
Dani
Dani, Thanks for the input. You are right. I'm not sure I'm cut out for this hobby. Going to take a couple of months off and regroup. She was just so good at making me believe the time we spent together was all about me and what I wanted. She should get an Oscar.
Duh...get real. If you love her, then you gotta tell her.
put in her situation, might try to "string you along", so as to continue to provide a source of income. They justify this unethical behavior to themselves in a variety of ways.
Cut it off completely. Them do some self-examination to determine what it is about yourself that makes you susceptible to this.
Have a Roladex of about 10-12 ATF'S and see each on a regular basis. This will prevent you from getting too attached to any one lady. Try this and see if it's works. It has worked for me.
Good advice. I might just try that instead of my one and done approach.
By telling her you expose yourself completely and therefore admit to being vunerable if you continue to see her. Your personal life plays a large part in this so only you can make the final choice, with the assistance of the many brilliant and insightful people here you will receive priceless input from several viewpoints - I suggest you use this information to help you decide. On a personal note I would not tell her anything in case the situation changes, better to say nothing.
Be At Peace.
I think the reason you are contemplating telling her is that, deep down, you're hoping she'll say she feels the same way. Assuming she does say that, honestly or otherwise, what would you do? If you can honestly say you'd still walk away, there's no reason to tell her anything.
No - you may decide later that you do want to see her, and after telling her that, she may never take your calls again. After you take some time off and decide whether you're actually in love or just hopelessly confused by the signals you get from someone who wants to please you 100% -- as her job.
Then, after a few months revisit the issue. You can always tell her you're taking a break for a while and you'll get back to her at some future (undetermined) time.
Good luck, my friend.
...since you are "really" banging the girl and "really loving it", right? I think the GFE thing is just there to make the sex better.
Now that you've already invested the time and money to get to know each other, I'd be looking for ways to spend more time with her body and less with her mind. Massages (to her) might help. Anything wrong with a relationship that just becomes increasingly sexual?
Some people are just inclined to fall in love. I'm one. But there are other ways of "being in love" than the old boyfriend/girlfriend routine. Distance in age and localities can help. I love my ATF too, partly since she's young enough to be my daughter.
Whoops!
The ladies we hobby with are to be shared and not possessed. Similar for hobbyist we are not exclusive clients for any of the ladies. Most of the ladies understand this and it should not be necessary to explain “why I can not see her again”. Only if she asks why you have stop seeing her would I indicate that things were getting too intense for you and you need time apart to rebalance yourself. One wonders why you feel necessary to set up a last appointment to achieve this.
This I why I've decided, I'll never see the same provider more than once no matter how good the service. I don't want to put myself or any of the ladies in a postion where we could get hurt. As others have said, You should be open and tell her exactly what's going on. I think you owe her that much.
I just came across this topic . . . .
LVP, I am curious as to what you ended up doing with the situation. Hopefully, you were able to communicate your thoughts/feelings.