Interesting... I'm single too and I've always wondered if I'll ever be faithful to my future wife, if I find somebody, since I've beeen so exposed to this lifestyle.

I would try to test this sweet lady's openmindedness... see if she's okay with bringing another girl to bed. if you can do that, then you shouldn't have to worry too much i think as far as whoring around. but try it and see what happens. if you approach it correctly you got nothing to lose.

Life is short---unless you make a wrong decision like marrying at the wrong time. Then life becomes looooooooong as hell, and not in a good way. If you TRULY love her, then leave her alone and don't complicate her life with your hobbying. I'm like you except I actually gave a girl a 3-carat ring and then changed my mind because of my probable infidelity. She hated me at first but we're friends even today. It's better to suffer the superficial scrapes now than what's sure to be a sucking chest wound later.

Go ahead and send your divorce lawyer a retainer. Any marriage built on a lie may last 6 months. Go ahead and be honest with her Who knows she may want to participate in the hobby with you or she may not. Either way you can get on with your life. IMHO getting married and having kids was the biggest mistake of my life. I'm a self absorbed, hedonist that should never have married a girl that I had an affair with while she was married to her first husband. The sex was great but 15 years, 2 mortgages, child support and alimony later I can barely afford to hobby once a month. Just my.02

Why do most people feel that they HAVE TO get married ?  I mean, seriously, when I ask my close friends why they're getting hitched, I get answers like "well, it's time" or "we've been going out for quite a while" or "she keeps aking me about proprosing" or other similar head-scratching reasons.  You even stated yourself that "I'm in that age-bracket where it's high time to tie the knot".  When was there a law passed that dictated a cutoff age for getting married ?

I'm apologize if this is off-topic or sounds like a rant, but just take a look around this website and see all the men who are frustrated with their wives and participate in this hobby.  I read things all the time to the effect of "my wife and I have sex only four times a year" or "there's no spark left in the relationship".  The womwn I've been with all confirm that anywhere from 70-80% of their clients are married.  Isn't that endorsement enough to maybe think twice about going through with it all ?

My point to this all (sorry it took so long to come out) is that if you are second-guessing yourself *before* you have even proposed, then take a long time to ponder your decision.  The consequences can be devestating, as also evidenced by divorce tesimonials on this site (both emotional and financial).

a bad reason for getting married.

If you don't think, now, before you get married, that this woman is the only one in the world for you -- then she's not the one you should be marrying.

When you find the right one, you'll KNOW, and you'll never want to be with any other woman again.

Then you'll get married.

Then 10 years will pass.

Then you'll be back here.

Women may have a biological clock in respect to child bearing years but "settling down" only comes when you are ready to.
   If you cannot see yourself being faithful to this lady in marriage you must either have her consent for you to continue to hobby or shelf your ideas of marriage until you are ready to "foresake all others".
   Marriage and children are not for everyone. It is to a persons credit if they can recognize and accept this fact and act appropriately. It is not wrong or shameful to be a self-centered hedonist. Being one while putting on the air of a faithful husband and selfless father IS.

  YKSY.

Kust omit the forsake all others part.

Thanks first of all for your responses. And I don't want to bore the crap outa you with my sob story, either. Just let me be a bit more precise about things. First of all, I don't know what kinda women you guys go out with, but come on, lay off the crack-pipe! You seriously suggest this is the way I break it to her: "Hey Honey, just remembered what I've been wanting to tell you. I'm really into escorts. No problem if you want to join in. Actually, you might enjoy getting eaten out by a chick. Personally, I really enjoy threesomes. Two chicks trying to blow me at the same time. Major turn-on..." Sorry, just ain't happening. Heck, I had to acquaint the women very carefully with the fact that there's something outside mish! Number two, I genuinely like this women. Okay, yes, I love this woman! Also, in a way I want to settle down with her, have kids, etc. But I also want to do the right thing by her. So all you married guys out there, hobbying like there's no wifey waiting at home, did you seriously believe you were gonna quit when you put that ring on her finger and said I will? (I've also heard the 70-80% married customers figure from providers.) Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming you or anything, I just want to know. Because I know Keith Richards is going to kick H before I quit screwing around. I thought, I'd be able to. Even forked out big bucks to see this high end escort. See my last review. Thought I'd have one more perfect night, and then could walk away with no regrets. Who was I kidding? A week later I'm scanning the new talent. Another week, and I'm in a hotel room once again with some college girl giving me head. Is it just me who's messed up, or are we all, or is this whole society just built on a major fraud?

Do what you want, but understand any response you get from her will be your responsibility.

What kind of life do you want? What kind of life is worthy of who you are? There is no judgement in my tone, who am I to judge, but if you don't choose you will suffer always.

If you want something simple like what would I do?

I'd keep on living a coward's life and cheat. I'd lie everytime I got a boner and fuck what ever my wallet would allow. I would lie to myself by justifying my "hobby". I would justify it by saying that a woman that loves me enough to commit her life and trust in me doesnt give me enough sex. that it is her fault that I "need" to fuck around, not that I was too fucking afraid to tell her about my fears and desires.

I would give my love to every whore that accepts my pathetic offerings and wonder why she does not recripricate my affection. I would always be left wanting more when I already have everything.

Oh wait? That is who I already am. sorry for making it sound like I am not already doing that.

Sorry for dragging the rest of you into my self loathing.

Hey I say do what ever the hell you want.

You don't marry someone you can live with, you marry the one you can't live without. Marriage as are most things in our complicated lives is a choice - yours.

Communication, Communication Communication!!! Talk to her about it and if she's not into it then STAY SINGLE!!. My wife says it's ok as long as she gets to pick out the provider. I need her approval and we get along fine. But thats us!

Might as well continue now, you are going to do it eventually.

It's not about love, it's about varied sex.

You are going to LIE to you new bride about not seeing other women?

What a way to start a marriage!

TET.

Just make sure you have a good pre-nup so you can extricate yourself with minimal hassle if it doesn't work out. Clearly, we are a little bit more pragmatic down here than you guys but my feeling is that most smart women couldn't give a rat's arse about sexual infidelity as long as it was with a prostitute and not an enthusiastic amateur.  After all, your wife may be the best cook in the world, but she's not likely to offended if you occasionally buy take out is she?

What's important in your question is your own self-knowledge that you are a "hobbyist."  Some of us -- I daresay most -- are hard-wired to fuck around.  You are that way as well.

Believe me, marriage is not going to change you.  Despite the self-important, sanctimonious preaching on this thread, you're never going to be completely faithful.  That's just the way you are.  Thinking that marriage will change you or that the "right girl" will change you is delusional.

That turns your query into a different question:  do you tell your bride-to-be about your hobbying or not?  Granted, the consequences of getting caught are potentially painful, but I don't see the moral dilemma that some might about simply not telling her.  Do you tell this woman that you masturbate and fantasize other women?  Of course not, but you do it.  I don't think that that "deception" is particularly different, except in degree, from not telling about seeing a provider.  

Life is short; life is complex; life is full of shades of gray and never is black and white.  If you love the woman and otherwise believe you can have a productive and happy relationship with her, then maybe you should get married.  But go ahead and hobby; just do it in a way that she will never find out.  Pleasures are hard to come by.  And who knows?  You may die tomorrow.