You men...
so focused in your sexual natures...
(sigh)
C'mon. Gimme a chance to redirect some of that desire!
Earlier this evening I was expecting a new client at my incall place. I don't live there, but it is an extra apartment I keep for business purposes, so when I go there I expect that I will see someone. Anyway, he was late and did not call until about an hour after our appointment time. He was very apologetic, so I allowed him to come over anyway. He even brought a really pretty pair of panties for me (very sweet). We started with some LFK, I moved down to his nipple, licked a bit, and finally on my knees for a BBBJ. He ooohed and wowed, as men do. He told me," I want you to tell me to f--k you in the ass." Then I said,"Yeah right." I then began to explain to him that while my profile says Anal-Yes, no one has actually ever stuck his d--k in my ass (sorry, but I had to be blunt at this point). He assured me that someone said I didin a review, and I went on to tell him that I am a member and have read each and every one of my reviews.Not long ago, there was trouble with my rate on TER. It was higher than I am listed on my site. I told him sometimes there are mistakes. He said this one needed to be corrected and he was right. Then he starts asking questions about money, which I will not answer (even that far into the session) that's what TER is for. Anyway I told him that I would rather he go with everything he came with and me not be a ROB, then me take a dime for the little activity that had transpired. I have had one bad review, and even that person could not call me a ROB. Had he have been interested in more finishing the BBBJ, DATY, and/or Vaginal intercourse, I would have gladly obliged. He asked if he could leave me something and I told him I didn't want anything, but if he wanted to he could. He left a C-note, We both continued to apologize.
I have never experienced anything like that. How would some of you ladies have handled it? How would some of you gentlemen have liked for it to go down if it were you?
Thanks
I think you handled it right CG!
First meetings are tricky for both sides... especially establishing the menu. In my book as long as you are honest, direct, and polite, you can refuse my requests. It does *not* matter what others said or even if you *did* offer it previously, if it's not on the menu tonight, it's not on the menu. I might ask you if I misunderstood or otherwise. If I'm no longer interested, I'd politely compensate you and leave.
Seems to me this points out one of the failings of TER. If a provider lists what she does, that is advertising etc, and we all know where that will lead. However, the first person to do a review, enters the information, and he may well get some of it wrong. TER could do two things, the first easy, the second requiring much programming.
1. Allow a provider to correct inaccuracies, and state what she will not do. If the client gets a phone number or email address wrong, she should be able to quickly have it corrected. Let’s face it, about half the cup sizes are incorrect, if for no other reason that we males just don’t really understand cup sizes. Let her correct it. Later, if she gets implants, she should be able to again correct the information. If he states she does anal, and she does not, she should be able to have the ‘yes’ changed to a ‘no’.
2. It would be nice if each client filled out the key information, and TER would display the average score. For example. If three of four people say she is athletic build, but the first says she is baby fat, she forever has baby fat. By using an averaging system, by the fourth review, the table would display ‘athletic’.
They have a system for this. If you see someone and something is different about the profile you send in the correction (in addition to the review) and they put days on your account for correcting the info. Its not perfect, but it works for me. I have earned more than half a year of membership correcting stuff.
You should put in a problem report on your profile. Meanwhile, I think you should have told him at the start that there was an error in your profile and let him make the decision whether to go forward.
I told him I don't do Greek when he started hinting around. None of this was deliberate. A problem report has been put in. He said he read reviews, and not one says I went Greek. As a matter a fact one gentlemen points out that every position is possible, but Greek.
You mention what is in reviews and about some "hinting around." First, reviews are not read with the care of a trust indenture, and it makes no sense to rely on a careful reading of the descriptions to say that something that the summary says is in is actually out. Nor is "hinting around" really enough. If a provider wants to state a limit, she should state one straight out, especially if it contradicts what is in her review summary.
That said, I think that you handled the situation very well and with great fairness. My only criticism relates to how this came up at all, not what you did once it did come up.
I echo the sentiment to file a problem report and get your profile corrected. Errors do happen.
This misunderstandings do happen sometimes. It sounds like it ended as best it could, under the circumstances.
Did you feel threatened, etc. at any point or was he a gentleman in the way he handled it?
Do you expect the woman to tell everybody "BTW, my review on site xxx is wrong the following way, and on site yyy this is wrong?"
I do not think so.
It was a misunderstanding. He wanted a specific act, and she did provide that act. That is why it is important to not rely on reviews for every little detail!
He should have done better homework and read more than one review.
If I see things in only one review,or in the listing that is not reflected in any reviews(the listing is mainly created from the first review and only modified if support is notified), I assume that it may be a YMMV and if it is that important to me I would somehow find a way to politely bring up so I know for sure before an appointment.
I think you did the best you could under the circumstances...I would have left something for you at least what I thought your fee was because of services you did provide and the lateness
I always read the details of several reviews before assuming that something is on the menu.
Sounds like you handled it as best as you could.
Do you have a website? It is better to provide your own info for gents instead of relying on reviews to express what your work is or is not.
He may have appeared to be a gentleman with his apologies and his gift, but this guy was an ass. What was his excuse for calling an hour AFTER your appointment time? I hope it was GOOD.
Who would rely on one review to know what your work is or is not? Who would have the audacity to pressure you further about this? - and that is what his continuation of the topic after you said 'no' was.
Look hon, you have the right day by day, client by client, to decide what you want or do not want to do. This is more than your right, this is your responsibility to yourSELF. Maybe you did once and did not like it. Maybe you just did this two hours ago and are a bit 'done' for the day. Maybe you changed your policies to reflect concerns for safety. Maybe there is just a fake review posted by a gent to get VIP credit and the information is bad. None of this should matter.
Granted if you are too erratic it will be noted and you will have problems with establishing reliablity. But this is your RIGHT, and your responsibility to yourself.
This man did not come see you for entertainment or companionship, he came to you soliciting a specific sexual activity. I'd have booted him out the door with much less grace than you displayed.
xoxo,
Sola
I love your contributions to the boards, Sola. But this time I beg to disagree with some of your sharing.
If, hypothetically, a provider had an "Anal-Yes" listed, AND at least one review that said this was available, then a guy would be absolutely correct in assuming it could be part of his experience with her. In this circumstance, it was NOT just "one review. It was in her bio! Even if he lied about the review, it WAS in her bio.
It is on HER to get the fix. She seemed particularly aware of her TER postings and consciously chose to ignore a major error. Bad on her, Sola - not the guy for expecting and asking.
If this is not true, then how, dear Sola, would you propose that a guy discern that a provider will not do a certain thing prior to meeting? You know full well that it is insanity to actually discuss things before hand. So it is vital that providers be as clear as they can be, when they have control, without jeopardizing LE consequences.
NB: I am not justifying his boorish (tardy) behavior. I am justifying his incredulity when presented new facts. Oh yes, if she simply said that on this occasion she wasn't into it, he would have been a jerk to continue. You are correct that we each get to choose, each time, our boundaries.
I know that if I did research and was being given contradictory info by the provider, I would question it closely, too. No different than if I went to a store that advertised product or discount info and then said it wasn't so once I got there. Someone would have some 'splainin to do.
I really hope to read lots more from you, Sola. You add a lot to this forum. I just disagree this one time.
Trojan,
Thanks for your kind words. We will have to agree to disagree on this.
A lady does NOT post her bio. Yes, she has a responsibility to fix it if there is something that she notices is misleading or incorrect... but it should NOT be the determining factor. Example: price. This can change and we all know to look at a ladies website for the current info, yes?
EVEN IF the lady in 90% of her sessions offers a service, it may not be available all the time. This is her right. It is up to the gentleman to discern the liklihood by researching - reading the reviews, looking at a ladies posts on certain topics... and if THE ONLY REASON he is seeking a companion is to tour the Greek Iles then he should find a lady who specifically lists this as something that she offers on HER web or in HER advertising posts. It is beyond my comprehension to do this, but it is done OFTEN.
Greek is something that many ladies choose to prepare for and offer selectively. It is not out of bounds to have sent an e-mail asking if she ever partakes of mediterranian delights. He wasted both of their time by not doing his homework or finding a discreet way to ask.
I would be curious also as to what his excuse was for being 1 hour late. On both sides of the fence all our our time is important and should not be taken advantage of.
It also appears this guy did not do his homework well since it sounds like you have many reviews. when I am going to see a lady I will read many if not allof her reviews to get a feel for options on the service menu and know that the old YMMV will ALWAYS apply.
I have had some ladies give extra service when her review and TER profile states different. When this does happen I always cover it in a YMMV in the review so the next guy will not expect this to happen.
He was obviously looking for 1 specific leevel of service that you do not provide. Your many reviews would have indicated this. I feel you did the right thing and kept to your standards of the level of service you are comfortable with.
I applaud you even further when you gave the guy the option to walk out with what he had brought or could leave something if he decided.
I would chalk this one up to experience and make a note to probable NOT see this guy again and let other ladies know thru your back channel about HIS issues.
just my .02
indication he was LE.
He purposely wanted YOU to ask for a SEXUAL ACT; he wanted you to ADMIT to the veracity of reviews, or even to refer to them as true acts (they are erotic stories, remember?); he wanted you to converse about rates and even attempt to trick you to talk about rates; he asked if he could leave you something.
You are one very LUCKY girl!
It's up to you who you see at your incall, but I didn't see anyone new at at incall unless he came so well recommended, and screened beautifully.
The fact that he was an hour late could have given him the time he needed for LE crew to get set up. No, I'm not paranoid - my two closest provider friends were set up and arrested and they taught me a lot.
I'd consider moving the location, or not using it for awhile and be extra watchful of your place now.
If he was just an ass, I agree with Sola. I wouldn't have been as nice.
If he was LE then what was the point of even bringing up Greek in the first place?
He could of busted her just as easily without that specific act
Sure he was late but there are a million reasons for that...I know if I have scheduled an appointment and the LADY is late I don't automatically assume she is an ass
BTW I personally have never been late but that's mostly because I normally do outcalls and she has to come to my hotel not me going to her...I would HOPE that if I'm in an unfamilar city and get lost and late to her incall location she is not thinking I'm an ass because of it
He apparently made the appointment in the first place because he believed she offered something she doesn't...SHE knew her bio at TER was wrong but how was he to know?
This was a deal breaker for him but he still despite her protests left $...we can all argue whether that amount was enough for the time she wasted but I don't see either side being totally in the wrong...she was willing to let him go with NO money exchanged since he believed quite honestly she provided something she does not
I don't think he was a jerk and I do think Georgia acted in a very professional manner...it was a simple misunderstanding compounded by his being late...the entire encounter went about as well given his expectations as could be hoped for
That is an inconsiderate ass. There are payphones everywhere.
Anything excusable for this... (had to take friend/family to the hospital, car accident, etc.) I would imagine he would not then just be ready to come on over!
Even so even still, see my reply above re: profiles. It sounds as if she has the problem report in. If it was THAT important he should have researched better before wasting their time. See above for more if at all interested.
-- Modified on 11/16/2004 2:36:03 PM
I can think of one possible explanation for his not calling...I am one of the last hold outs to getting a cell phone and one time on one of my few incalls I was supposed to call the woman when I got to her hotel for the room number...I get there(ON TIME) and no one is downstairs working the lobby so I couldn't use the hotel phone so I tried calling her on a payphone to her cell and it wouldn't go through...I tried several times before I left and found another payphone and that didn't work either...in all I called her eight times from four different payphone to her cell before I realized for some reason in my area calls from a payphone to a cell just are not allowed
I ended up having to prevail on a clerk in a gas station to allow me to use their business phone and I got the lady right off
I'm sure I could come up with more reasonable explanations for his not calling...some type of temporary emergency so that his appointment with her might just possibly NOT be the foremost thing on his mind...shit happens and it happens at the most inopportune of times
BTW Now I think of it I WAS late to see that particular lady but believe me...I went above and beyond the call of duty in my attempts to call her and I have no doubt before I finally got through to her cell she was sure I was a no-show(and an ass) too
I'm not defending that guy to the extent that I claim he is not an ass...I'm just saying the fact he didn't call in a timely manner doesn't automatically make him one...like I said before...shit happens
All I heard her say was that he apologized. Well, what was his amazing excuse? I'm sorry, this happened to me JUST LAST WEEK. Last appointment of the day. I'd cancelled a personal dinner invite to take this appointment. It was a special deal for a gentleman living on disability (nearly free). 45 minutes late!
No cell?
He HAD my number on the same piece of paper that he'd written my directions on. Did he consider finding a pay phone? No.
Perhaps in your instance I would chill out and relight some candles... I did not hear anything other than there was an apology - no REASON?
Regardless -
More, more, more...
Solicitation.
Trying to buy a sex act.
*That is plenty for me.*
Not understanding when a lady says "I'm sorry that info is wrong, I do NOT do that".
I did not hear the conversation. I don't know if he decided bringing up money would maybe get him what he wanted. I don't know if he was trying to convince her that she should change her mind for him due to the confusion. I don't care. She said no, end of story.
Sorry,
we don't have to agree,
I'm not likely to change my mind.
She handled the situation with an amazing amount of class and tact, more than most ladies would have done for him after all of that. Men - take note!
These are your BIG NO'S!!!
-- Modified on 11/16/2004 4:30:43 PM
First off just let me say I'm not responding to your posts in an effort to pick on you or anything like that...it just happened that with a couple of your points I have a different point of view
If it helps I DO agree 100% she handled the situation with an amazing amount of tact and class
OK All that said here is where I disagree...this was not an ordinary session for this guy...he brought a present for her...he was VERY apologetic about being late(whether his reason for being late and not calling was acceptable we'll just have to disagree since neither of us knows what it was)...he researched at TER to find someone who he liked the looks of AND who according to TER does the specific act he made the appointment for(as far as he knew anyway)...when he finds out oops TER is wrong he(maybe rashly) asks if perhaps more money might change her mind(this might trigger warning signals in YOUR mind but face it...there ARE providers who DO offer what he wanted with an added donation)...what other possible way could he find out?
We as hobbiest are told time and time again to NEVER bring up specific sex acts in emails or on the phone...to ALWAYS defer to TER as our Bible for any information we need to know...he did this and TER was wrong
Your suggestion is to ask using some euphemism(Mediterranean delights)...you know what this would get him by 90% of providers? His email address blocked forever on suspicion he was LE
Or that he should scan various provider websites looking for someone foolish enough to detail exactly what she will and will not do on a "date"...we both know that the vast number of providers do NOT get that explicit on their sites and for good reason..that is after all what TER is for
He did the ONLY thing he could do...once engaged in already so called illegal acts he mentioned Greek never thinking with all the research he had done the lady might not agree to this
It is clear from the OP that this specific act was the ONE reason why he had arranged this meeting
So you tell me given all that...what SHOULD he of done? He wanted Greek and only Greek would do for him...my God the guy is in a hotel room with an attractive woman who's willing to do ALMOST anything with him and he freakin' leaves because Greek was that important to him
"my God the guy was in a hotel room with an attractive woman who's willing to do ALMOST anything with him..."
Thanks for the grin.
: )
Look,
I'm not trying to be testy OR to argue. Your questions are valid, though I made several suggestions for what he SHOULD have done before he was in her space. None of them are ideal. Well, neither is relying on information written by someone else about a lady!
If it was THAT important he should have done more homework and looked for a lady who (through SEVERAL REVIEWS) would prove to be a good candidate for his desires.
I've put up with each of these myself from my friends -
tardy or last minute emergency cancel,
asking about my rates even knowing better,
and made lemonaide from lemons with mis-matched visitors.
In all cases I could understand what their intentions were and I did not feel disrespected or threatened. Note: these were all men I KNOW and not first time callers, and they only made one mistake. Second chance, maybe. Sure. THREE STRIKES... SAME VISIT?!?
- YOU ARE OUTTA' HERE!
You men...
so focused in your sexual natures...
(sigh)
C'mon. Gimme a chance to redirect some of that desire!
Just to be on the safe side...
ANYtime a gents tries to discuss money I assume he is LE and he is GONE!
BTW Sedona,
this is what I was implying when I said that he came to see her specifically *soliciting* a sexual act.
-- Modified on 11/16/2004 2:39:33 PM
I have had that happen, and the best way is just to be honest - a gentleman I was with once asked for a certain activity and I don't do that so I had to tell him. He also went as far to say he had read it somewhere (when I know damn well it isn't in any of my reviews) and he tried arguing with me. I asked if he would like to continue the session without that activity and he said yes....even though to this DAY he still tries telling me I am a "liar". Like I don't know what I do with my own body! LOL...
Anyway, I think you handled it perfectly! Honesty IS the best policy when it comes to that situation.
Hugs,
Vanessa Sue
Thanks for all the feedback. Those who said I should report a problem are correct and I have. Sedona was right on the money with her theory, and yes that was going through my head. LE have been known to participate in sex acts and still bust women, so even after a BJ, I still didn't trust him and used the words "you can leave now with everything you came with, to avoid mention of $. As for his tardiness, he told me earlier that he that he had to meet with his boss, so his excuse was that he was in with him and could not get away. I'll never know the truth about that. I am just glad nothing bad happened. Then again he could try to review me as a ROB, but somehow I think I will survive.
TTFN