Ewww, I can see how someone trying not to talk to you would be annoying. I think it's important to talk to a girl before a session too for the same reason, get their vibe. I've decided against girls after talking to them on the phone more than once. They just didn't sound like they'd be fun, or they sounded unhappy in some way. Anyway, too bad about that jerk! Hopefully he's your last cancellation EVER!!!! 
I've been a provider for almost 7 years now. I used to get clients who booked appointments and didn't show, about once a month. Then, after coming to Dallas a few years ago...I suddenly had a Summer where I was getting 8 or 9 no shows per month. So, I updated my website to have all these nasty warnings about what would happen if you did that: 1) no future service, 2) I report you to the National Escorts blacklist (yes, an actual thing), and 3) I add you to my personal blacklist, which I intend to share with all the other providers in my area.
Since adding that, my no shows dropped to once or twice a year - nothing like an angry sign to scare away the non-serious, right?
But then, tonight...I get a call for 10:30, put my dinner half-eaten in the fridge, rush out to my incall, barely made it in time with traffic...run around like a maniac getting my makeup, outfit, and hair ready...and of course he doesn't show. And doesn't answer his phone when I call. Now I'm starving, and I have to wait at my incall until 1am for another ride back home to finish my cold spaghetti. I'll have wasted almost 5 hours on this one jerk. I'd already spent money getting a ride to and from my incall, already blown the plans I had tonight...seriously, what is it with people like this? Don't guys realize that when you book an appointment with a provider, it sets wheels into motion and may even cost us money to be ready for you
I have had that happening not only with new people, but with regulars. People who would cancel minutes from the appt. my favorite one... A person who would book me very early in the morning. I would wake up and get ready. Just to get that coward text (no phone call of course). To tell me he went to bed late and didn't feel like making it to his appt. Now I was tired and all ready. I couldn't even fall asleep again if I wanted. Luckily my incall was my apt so I didn't have to go anywhere, but that's besides the point.
I learned that posting warnings on your site, might come across as catty, and people may perceive you as an angry person. If it has worked for you, good. I rather screen the crap out of people who I haven't met to avoid such issues, or at least reduce the chances to a minimum. Most ggs have cancellation policies, and even ask for 50% deposit upfront via moneypak, PayPal, square etc...
Venting is really all we can do, because there's always a jerkoff out there who just wants to waste our time, without any regard of our time, or effort we put into what we do. I guess what I'm telling you is, we all have been there. The actions that I have taken to minimize my no shows are:
1) screen: p411, Ter acc (with written reviews), date check, provider references etc...
2) check they're not blacklisted on your blacklist site of choice.
3) get them on the phone: get a sense of them. Flaky people are sometimes easy to spot just by how they talk
4) don't accept any really short notice appts for new clients. If they are serious about meeting, they will contact you with enough notice.
5) if someone contacts you, and his email or call isn't to just make an appt. He requires extra screening. (All the info is on your ad, Ter, reviews... He shouldn't be asking anything else other than availability).
Those are basically the rules I abide by nowadays for new clients. Someone may wonder: how did she come to that type of screening? Easy: enough hobbyists have references, they are polite, and well spoken, serious, and email just to make an appt. without asking for anything else, or haggling. So... Why should I expect anything less from others. 2 cancellations and I will refuse seeing them in the future. I won't even bother explaining why. Guys; you guys need to understand we do this to remain a great provider. People like the ones Jessica is describing, really ruin our day and makes us get bitter.
Your post is very true, and I'm sorry that happened to you.
-- Modified on 11/26/2015 10:32:24 AM
-- Modified on 11/26/2015 10:32:52 AM
Amen!! Sasha has said it all right there in a relatively concise, well thought out and eloquently described post. Read and heed folks.
Yeah, it sucks, but it happens in every business. Clients will say they want what you are selling but then decide against it at the last moment. They are really not obligated to tell the seller why. I spend my time and money prepping for sales all the time that fall through. I know it's cliche but "it's not the ones you miss, it's the ones you get" that matter. It sounds like you actually have a phenomenally high success rate, with only 1 or 2 cancellations yearly!
It is also possible that something important came up. I once got rear ended by a drunk driver on my way to an appointment. I called to cancel as soon as I could, but I was late by that time. I'm not trying to excuse the guy but we do have lives outside of the hobby that can interfere with our playtime unexpectedly. Of course, a call or "the coward text" (as Sasha put it) is the very least we should do. I don't generally cancel appointments, but the few times I have, I've tried to make it up to the provider by rescheduling soon and bringing a tip.
Anyway, on a different note...where the hell is there traffic at 10:30 at night!?!?! Lol.
People who don't show and neither cancel, or answer the phone... those are the ones shes talking about. The true time wasters, flaky, people. You are right in principle, but shes not generalizing in my opinion.
Example: a couple of weeks ago, someone made an appt. later on he canceled claiming he had broken his leg, and that he was gonna be out of commission for 6 weeks. I don't sweat it, and wish him to get better soon. 4 days later he is asking if im available... WTF? Blocked!.
Liar or maybe he wanted you to sign his cast? I'm in sales for my career and flakes and assholes exist here too. Its inevitable but understand if you have to get ready and they don't show up. If they don't call to cancel, I would just black list them like you probably already did.
I do feel better. 
I know the "angry signs out front" approach may make me seem catty or mean...but it honestly has only helped my business. I saw no loss of income with it - I just stopped getting flakes. So it's all been good, in that respect. I went from and average 1 or 2 each month, to a peak of 8-10 in one month, to 1 or 2 a year. I look at it as scaring away the people who weren't going to show up anyway.
And let's be honest...tgirls do not get the traffic that regular girls do. I do not get referrals. I get very few reviews for the amount of clients I've seen. (at least they're all stellar ) I have many female escort friends who get referrals, even tag-teamed by friends on lunch breaks. Tgirls are still kind of everyone's dirty little secret - nobody wants to admit fucking us. It kinda makes marketing difficult.
I screen when I can, but there is only so much I can do. I don't seem to be able to mention other services on TER...but let's just say the sites that provide me the best ability to screen, give me the least amount of clients. In fact, despite my profile info being spread amongst 20 other sites, 95% of my entire business comes from a single site that does not let me screen. And when I have a client call who wants to see me in an hour...what do I do? Trace his phone#? Have him fill out a questionnaire on my website, then get back to him? Now if I had the traffic flow of a genetic girl, perhaps I could take some time with the situation...but what I've found is that a lost client, is a lost client. And new clients, for all the trouble they can be worth, are very loyal...and if not to me, then they will be to someone else.
But I do talk to every new client. I insist on it. I have gotten very good at reading people in this context, and I have refused clients based on that interview. I didn't get a "100% vibe" from the guy that just blew me off, but I'd give him a solid 80%. I guessed wrong. One slipped past. It's their sheer stupidity and callousness that gets me.
What's always bothers me are the ones who try their damndest to avoid having any contact with you. They try to text me - I don't read them, I don't receive them. They email me - I politely email them back, to call me. There seems to be this belief that they can go through the whole process without actually having to reveal anything about them. It's like they think they can create an intimate experience via text.
Ewww, I can see how someone trying not to talk to you would be annoying. I think it's important to talk to a girl before a session too for the same reason, get their vibe. I've decided against girls after talking to them on the phone more than once. They just didn't sound like they'd be fun, or they sounded unhappy in some way. Anyway, too bad about that jerk! Hopefully he's your last cancellation EVER!!!!
Just comes down to common courtesy. But in this ME world we live in, that courtesy is too much for some. Hopefully, we get back to instilling respect for others as a society in general. The fallout of something like that happening will help us all in whatever we do as an occupation. Unfortunately, that futuristic want does not help your cause right now. I feel for you cause your reviews certainly suggest that you don't deserve it. Not that any girl does...
Think my message was meant for you. Haha