She may not have been aware that she had an STD. This is a high risk hobby and with it comes stuff like STDs. Sad but true. I would definately tell her you caught something, but only if you know 100% it was from her. If it was from her you owe it to her by telling her so that she can get herself treated asap. However, by putting it in a review, it would damage her seriously. Think about it. Its one thing to review a bad experience or a ROB, but quite another to expose something like this. One simple mistake that she may not have been aware of. Most providers are very health conscious and get checked regularly but shit happens. To tell in a review though, it would destroy her business and stay with her for a very long time. Could you live with that?? Especially if this is her only form of income??
-- Modified on 11/4/2004 1:53:48 PM
If you contracted an STD from a provider. Would you write a review and put that in there? Just curious. Thanks.
Yes, yes and yes. The next guy wants to know.
That review would be up there for a long time affecting her business, and the only way that she can be 100% safe is covered everything. Put that one up for a vote on here, buddy, and see how many guys want that.
I have been hobbying for 14 years, and have never contracted anything. If you see well reviewed providers, this is a non issue.
I picked up chlamydia via a BBBJ with a "well-reviewed" provider. She was asymptomatic and had no idea she had it. That said, she was grateful when I informed her of the fact and I did not make it a part of my review of her. Needless to say, although I much prefer BBBJ's, all my non-spousal BJ's are now CBJ's.
something like 50% of the population has chlamydia?
As I said, the only way to be 100% safe is covered everything, but I think many on here will feel it is an acceptable risk. However, if you are married, caveat emptor.
Tell her you have contracted one and advise her to seek treatment!!!!! To catch something is bad enough, to have something and not tell her is unforgivable...
She may not have been aware that she had an STD. This is a high risk hobby and with it comes stuff like STDs. Sad but true. I would definately tell her you caught something, but only if you know 100% it was from her. If it was from her you owe it to her by telling her so that she can get herself treated asap. However, by putting it in a review, it would damage her seriously. Think about it. Its one thing to review a bad experience or a ROB, but quite another to expose something like this. One simple mistake that she may not have been aware of. Most providers are very health conscious and get checked regularly but shit happens. To tell in a review though, it would destroy her business and stay with her for a very long time. Could you live with that?? Especially if this is her only form of income??
-- Modified on 11/4/2004 1:53:48 PM
If you caught a "forever" infection, like warts, herpes, HIV or hepatitis, you should post that. She should stop working or allow her customers to make an informed decision. If you caught something curable, go to the doctor, tell the provider, and let go... It's a risk you take, and unlikely that she would have been knowingly infecting people.
Tell her IMMEDIATELY ONLY IF YOU ARE SURE THAT IT CAME FROM HER and follow up to be sure she got treated.
This hobby is not without risks..even 100% covered and no kissing is not foolproof. Whatever you do, if you put it in a review you could not only destroy someone's income but also her LIFE.
Best way to handle the hobby IMHO is to confine your hobbying to some regular providers that you really dig and whose safety measures you can trust. Since my SO also "hobbies" with me, both of us are safety minded. When we hobby together with a new provider
(which is usually when we travel) we are ALWAYS SAFE and only SO does me unprotected.
BTW it is possible to develop STD symptoms just from differences in body chemistry that your native flora cannot handle (you have bacteria living in your body and on your skin all the time). It is even possible for you to give STD-like symptoms to a monogamous partner just if your body chemistry changes (i.e from medication or the like). ... ask your doctor.
I like bareback everything as much as the next guy but when in doubt... SAFETY FIRST and learn to love that latex.
MR
I have to say it would be best to contact the provider privately about the matter, especially since it can be several months before symptoms show up, if any. If you have seen anybody else during that time, it could very well be from them or I know you all would like to think that you are the only ones playing, but there's a maybe that your S/O may have gotten something from someone other than you.
Best thing is keep yourself in check for STD's, both ladies and guys, play safe and avoid any extra chances (do you know how many guys actually try to rub their bare stuff onto your bare stuff? I mean hello! That is still contact!)
I would only put it in a review if it was obvious that the provider knows and doesn't care to do anything about it, but more than likely she may not have known she had it at the time she was with you. Even if she does get checked out on a regular basis, say like once a month, she is still seeing multiple amounts of men and it just takes that one before you.
...something simple that can be treated with some antibitics should be no issue-- just make sure she knows she has it as well and both of you get treated-- no biggie, and no need to destroy her career as a provider. But if it is something permanent, or god forbid deadly, then I think it best to warn the community just so she does not infect others; she would need to retire in my opinion if that were the case anyhow for the safety of us all! She may not be doing in purposely or malicously-- but the fact is she is still doing it, and I dont think that if it were more along serious lines that it would be something you could easly discuss or explain to a SO!
Dani
In my previous live I was an STI/HIV educator and half the time I resist responding to these threads, but today must be the other half … I just need to save this, I have repeated it so often now…
Honestly Gents, if you do not understand and ACCEPT that you are engaging in a risky activity, that you belong to, are a participant in one of the highest risk factors (behaviors) that contribute to contracting a STI, wash your hands really well, get a magazine and go to the bathroom, play with mother palm and her daughters and you MIGHT eliminate 100% your risk of contracting a micor-beasty. No one "gives" you an STI; you very happily go out and find it all on your own.
NO ONE WHO IS HAVING SEX can GUARENTEE you they are STI Free, not you, not your wife, not your well reviewed provider.
ALL IT TAKES TO CONTRACT many STI's is SKIN to SKIN contact...(see links below) and it can take weeks or months to know you have it.
Your last STI test is only as good as the several weeks or months prior to the test (depending on the incubation period of the particular infection) but you can sure pass many on as soon as you get them.
And finally before I go into my cut and paste routing
YOU are the only one responsible for your sexual health.
The only full-proof way of protecting against HPV 16 infection is by practicing abstinence. Having a monogamous relationship with one sexual partner known to be disease-free helps to prevent infection. The HPV types that cause cervical cancer are sexually transmitted, but there is little evidence that infection can be avoided by behavioral change, such as condom use. Nonetheless, condoms should still be used. They reduce your chances of getting or spreading STDs. Prophylactic vaccines against HPV infection are likely to have high efficacy, but are not yet available for use.
http://www.stanford.edu/~sgoglin/Papilloma/HPV16.htm
Genital HPV is the most common of the sexually transmitted viruses. The lifetime likelihood of getting an HPV infection has been estimated to be in the range of 50% or more. This means that anyone who is sexually active has a fairly high risk of being exposed to this virus.
http://www.sa.ucsb.edu/studenthealth/HealthLibrary/Files/HPV%20Questions%20&%20Answers.doc
Any person who is sexually active can get genital warts.
The types of HPV that cause genital warts are usually spread by direct skin-to-skin contact during vaginal, anal or (rarely) oral sex with someone who has this infection.
Genital warts are most likely to be transmitted when symptoms (warts) are actually present, but sometimes warts are too small to see with the naked eye (subclinical HPV).
Very little is known about passing subclinical HPV to sex partners. Some experts think it may be less contagious than genital warts you can see.
Any person who is sexually active can get genital warts.
The types of HPV that cause genital warts are usually spread by direct skin-to-skin contact during vaginal, anal or (rarely) oral sex with someone who has this infection.
Genital warts are most likely to be transmitted when symptoms (warts) are actually present, but sometimes warts are too small to see with the naked eye (subclinical HPV).
Very little is known about passing subclinical HPV to sex partners. Some experts think it may be less contagious than genital warts you can see.
.
Gonorrhea is spread through contact with the penis, vagina, mouth, or anus. Ejaculation does not have to occur for gonorrhea to be transmitted or acquired. Gonorrhea can also be spread from mother to baby during delivery.
People who have had gonorrhea and received treatment may get infected again if they have sexual contact with a person infected with gonorrhea.
Syphilis is passed from person to person through direct contact with a syphilis sore. Sores occur mainly on the external genitals, vagina, anus, or in the rectum. Sores also can occur on the lips and in the mouth. Transmission of the organism occurs during vaginal, anal, or oral sex. Pregnant women with the disease can pass it to the babies they are carrying. Syphilis cannot be spread through contact with toilet seats, doorknobs, swimming pools, hot tubs, bathtubs, shared clothing, or eating utensils.
Trichomoniasis is caused by the single-celled protozoan parasite, Trichomonas vaginalis. The vagina is the most common site of infection in women, and the urethra (urine canal) is the most common site of infection in men. The parasite is sexually transmitted through penis-to-vagina intercourse or vulva-to-vulva (the genital area outside the vagina) contact with an infected partner. Women can acquire the disease from infected men or women, but men usually contract it only from infected women.
Chancroid is transmitted in two ways:
Sexual transmission through skin-to-skin contact with an open sore
Non-sexual transmission by means of autoinoculation when contact is made with the pus-like fluid from the ulcer
A person is considered to be infectious (able to pass the bacteria to others) when ulcers or sores are present. This means what as long as there are chancroid sores on the body, the person can spread the infection. There has been no reported disease in infants born to women with active chancroid at time of delivery.
Herpes is transmitted through direct skin-to-skin contact. This occurs when a contagious area comes into contact with a mucous membrane, primarily the mouth and genitals.
Most skin on the body is too thick for the virus to go through.
If a person with oral herpes performs oral sex, it is possible for the partner to get genital herpes.
HSV-1 and HSV-2 can be found in and released from the sores that the viruses cause, but they also are released between outbreaks from skin that does not appear to be broken or to have a sore. Generally, a person can only get HSV-2 infection during sexual contact with someone who has a genital HSV-2 infection. Transmission can occur from an infected partner who does not have a visible sore and may not know that he or she is infected.
HSV-1 can cause genital herpes, but it more commonly causes infections of the mouth and lips, so-called “fever blisters.” HSV-1 infection of the genitals can be caused by oral-genital or genital-genital contact with a person who has HSV-1 infection. Genital
Molluscum contagiosum may be sexually transmitted by skin-to-skin contact (does not have to be mucous membranes) and/or lesions. Transmission through sexual contact is the most common form of transmission for adults.
MCV may be transmitted from inanimate objects such as towels and clothing that come in contact with the lesions. MCV transmission has been associated with swimming pools and sharing baths with an infected person.
MCV also may be transmitted by autoinoculation, such as touching a lesion and touching another part of the body.
Scabies are transmitted through close physical contact. Transmission is more likely when partners spend the night together than during a brief sexual encounter
Syphilis transmission can occur when infected lesions come in contact with the soft skin of the mucous membrane found inside the vagina, urethra or with an abrasion during vaginal, oral and anal sex, even if there is no sexual penetration
http://www.ashastd.org/