Greetings ladies and gentlemen of TER =)
I am a new hobbyist as of early November. To date, I have submitted 3 reviews (one of which I have repeated with 2 more times), and have one whitelist to my name. I wanted to give an account of what happened in the title, and would welcome any feedback from other, more experienced hobbyists, as well as providers
By all accounts, the provider I was attempting to see is very well established, and her reviews speak for themselves. I have no interest in besmirching her reputation, so I will not be naming WHO the provider is. I am simply trying to determine if *I* did something wrong, and if so, what I can do to better myself as a hobbyist.
So, back on 11/27, after having read multiple praising reviews, I made contact with said provider via email. My email consisted of a greeting, my name, age (early 40's), and a short physical description of myself. I stated that I'd seen her profile on TER, that I thought her pictures were gorgeous, and that I was interested in booking an appointment with her for a few days out, after verification (I provided the contact info for a reference I had seen the week previous). She replied promptly, stating that she appreciated my willingness to be forthcoming with verification information, and we set an appointment for 12/1 in the morning, pending reference verification, which came through with a green light after a few days. Communication via email was good. I was never lewd, nor did I inquire about specific "services". We confirmed the appointment the day prior.
The morning of the appointment, I texted her before leaving Casa Grande, to give her an update on expected travel time for me to get to her cross street. Upon arrival at the cross streets, I texted again but never heard back. I waited for close to two hours, before giving up (several texts, and a few phone calls trying to reach her, all about 15-20min apart). Since I didn't want my drive up from Casa Grande to be a complete wash, I ended up seeing a different provider on short notice, that had been recommended to me by another TER hobbyist, who turned out to be a real sweetie. I am really greatful to her, and have since repeated twice more. =)
Several hours later, I received a text from her, sincerely apologizing. Apparently, she had had a scheduling complication with her babysitter, and had forgotten her work phone at her IC. "No problem!" I thought. But by this time, I was back in Casa Grande. I mentioned that we could reschedule for another day. I mentioned my concern about whether I had done something wrong, to which she assured me I had not, which was a relief.
I contacted her a few days later via text, to state that I would like to try again for another date and time. She was willing, and we set another date, again in the morning. Morning of the 2nd date attempt, I woke up to a text saying that she was feeling a little under the weather, and would not feel right risking a meet, in case she was sick and that it wasn't just allergies. I texted back, saying I appreciated the heads up, and that I was fine with taking a rain check.
3rd attempt: Texted her, set a date and time (night time appointment) for 12/12, confirmed date and time the day prior. Again, texted about 2hours prior to leaving Casa Grande. She replied confirming that all was in order. This was especially promising to me, hearing from her before leaving CG. I arrive at the cross-streets and text her saying I had parked... No answer. Again, what followed as in the first time: several texts, a few phone calls, no reply. So I left after about an hour, confused. I ended up repeating on short notice with the provider from the first time. I emailed her the next day, asking again, if I had done something wrong, and apologizing if so. I have yet to hear back, nor do I expect to at this point.
So my question is this: Did I do something wrong? I've no doubt she was a great provider, based on her multiple praising reviews. Our initial communications via email were very promising. =/
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I thought that sharing the outcome of your experiences, both good and bad, is the primary role of this board. I believe you have given this provider the benefit of the doubt and, if you are being factual, there is absolutely no reason to maintain her anonymity. In fact, you should feel compelled to out her in order to save other hobbyists from having their time wasted by an unreliable and inconsiderate provider. There are many great, reliable providers that better deserve our patronage.
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Aguy nailed this. If what you say is true then you are being far too generous with this lady. I can understand forgiving the first occurrence but the second would have me here letting everyone know how she runs her business and to avoid her. Now keep in mind when you out a provider here on a public board be prepared to back up what you say as she rightly has a chance to refute your narrative.
Sounds like you did everything right. Other than keeping on trying to see a provider with challenges.
Though it sounds like you found a really good one for short notice
Kelli - TER ID 314190. She was referred to me by another hobbyist. So when I was first stood up, I texted her and she was available. Also on the failed 3rd attempt. I also saw her in a duo with a friend of hers. Sweet gal, though a little quiet. I intend to continue seeing her. =)
Doesn't necessarily mean she's a bad person or a bad, unprofessional provider, she just has enough business to meet her goals and doesn't really need you. You seem to really like this woman you're using as a backup plan. Promote her to the starting position and have fun.
Go post this on the newbie board, would be my other suggestion.
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It sounds like you did everything right. It has happened to all of us, providers and hobbyists. I give her a pass for the second one because whether she was sick or not she let you know what in time to not waste your time. But the first and third are all on her and it puts that excuse for canceling the second try in doubt.
You could handle this a few ways. Name her and she will either understand or possibly come on here and defend herself, truthfully or not. Or wait it out and see if she apologizes and maybe try's to make it up to you, if you even want to make an appointment with her again I have not named on here but I did respond to pm's with her name. That is a third option.
Thanks to those who have replied. I maintain that I have no desire or interest in running a public smear campaign on the boards. However, if you wish to know who it was, feel free to PM me. However, I sincerely believe that this isn't typically her modus operandi.
Had she replied to my final queries as to what happened, I might consider otherwise, but this point, I would likely pass on another try.
Regardless of your experience, this happens to the best of us. You did everything right except continuing to keep trying after it was shown you are not a priority. If they have something or someone better (like their regulars) then you're always going to lose.
However your actions are understandable - while your head is suspicious you're being lead on...their "sincere" apologizes, your belief that they want to "make it up to you", and your desire to experience what others have documented will override common sense to move on. It happens but hopefully you'll be able to see this in the future.
I don't blame you for not calling out the provider. It does no good when they have many fans and positive reviewers that frequent this board. You'll get crushed by their white knights whether your experience is true or not. Plus, it will ruin your chances if you want to keep trying.
While I think AZ has some of the best ladies in the biz, I've had more well-reviewed, well-respected TER sweethearts in AZ cancel, ghost communication, ruin travel dates, or take hours in late arrivals on me then any other place. Not sure if it's because it often happens to them or if they know their reputation will protect them. Even so, I keep trying because someone here is getting great service by some beautiful ladies! Good luck - don't let this get you down. It's just part of the deal
Thank you, I really appreciate that! I realize it kind of goes with the territory. Being somewhat new, I'm basically at the phase where I want to see a modest variety of providers, then stick to one or two regulars. At this point, I think I've found one regular in Kelli, who has been great about accommodating me on short notice after I was stood up the two times I described.
if everything you say is factual. If a brick and mortar store had duped you, you wouldn't deal w/ them again. Don't be overly generous in your acceptance of getting poor service. There are a lot of reason that probably none of us have considered.
I wouldn't give anymore gate passes. I would privately share this information with other hobbyist in a PM if you're comfortable in doing so. If you're not, then don't feel pressured to do a damn thing that makes you less than comfortable.
The reviews are a guide for you. Don't ever think that they are 100% factual. Some are lies, some get lost in translation, some are accurate.
It's a hobby. I don't know anyone who hobby's for drama. Forget about trying to meet w/ this one. There's too much bullshit that has preceded your actual encounter and if I had a penis I wouldn't want to fuck a bitch who played me like a chump even if it was free.
You don't sound like an idiot or an asshole and I apologize on her behalf for treating you poorly.
I think you will be just fine and I hope you enjoy your new hobby.
Obviously this gentleman is relatively new to the game. He doesn't want to rock the boat with an established provider. Man, sometimes shit happens. It's not right but what can you do. Only advise I can give you now is that since you a whitelist and other ladies who can vouch for you, please help yourself out by giving out limited amount of information. Give them your TER ID, your whitelist and other ladies who can vouch for you and nothing else. And do not ever give out your real name or where you work. Hope you are using a burner phone and separate email address as well.
Stuff does happen. I have had people reschedule on me due to illness or some other last minute issue. No problem. No worries. Provided that they got back to me so I knew. NC, NS is NA (never acceptable). It's happened to me before and if you want to know who stood me up, just ask.