Absence of "no" does not equal "yes," and in this case you had no idea whether or not she'd be okay with it. You can't just assume something like that.
That's akin to someone sticking a finger in my ass and then (after getting a mouthful of the people's elbow from me), saying "well you didn't say NOT to!" I don't blame her one bit for getting pissed. Poor thing.I read reviews before seeing a lady. It gives me an idea what services the lady provides. If the lady has 10 reviews and 8 of them said CIM is okay with the lady then i generally don't ask if it's okay. Some ladies will be kind enough to tell you her rules. I recently in the past month saw a lady that i didn't read her reviews. She had reviews but due to time i didn't have the time to read them. While having sex with her, i was getting close to blowing, i pulled off the condom and asked her to suck me off. She was fine with that. I blew it in her mouth and she got pissed saying she doesn't like doing that and doesn't allow any man to do it. I probably should have asked if it was okay but she didn't say it wasn't allowed, she never spoke up. How should this be handled. She you ask the lady her rules upfront? Should she tell you upfront or at some point during the act? If she says nothing is it okay to let it rip in her mouth?
That's. Why we need to read the reviews. Absent that I guess you ask about rules/limits but that tends to kill the gfe mood when you have to ask
Absence of "no" does not equal "yes," and in this case you had no idea whether or not she'd be okay with it. You can't just assume something like that.
That's akin to someone sticking a finger in my ass and then (after getting a mouthful of the people's elbow from me), saying "well you didn't say NOT to!"
I don't blame her one bit for getting pissed. Poor thing.
Disagree. If he pulled off the condom and asked her to sucked him off it is her her to say no cim
That is an incredibly fucked up way to look at it. If you don't know, ask. He even admitted that he didn't read her reviews. That's on him, period.
Playing with a loaded gun is not a great idea.
First, regarding reviews: If a provider requires a client to read reviews before seeing her, she should have checked that he had done so. But, some providers do different things with different clients, and who used to certain things, and now don't. Reading reviews is an unreliable solution, and I don't think that puts it on him or her.
Asking/telling is the only way. I think the term "suck me off" implies that he will finish via the sucking. As soon as the condom comes off, what did she think was going to happen in that context? She knows what's next on the agenda. She should have said something, especially if it was something she was really concerned about (which it sounds like it was).
For example:
Tobi, if a guy was going down on you, and he worked his around to your back door and starting tossing your salad, you'd probably express your concerns at that point. Ideally you'd do it in way which refocused his attention on something you really liked and didn't break the mood. Ideally he'd get the hint and lose interest. Or he'd ask you and you'd talk about it honestly.
Reducing your idea of asking for permission and clarity every step of the way would suck the spontaneity out of the experience:
"Hello, provider!"
"Hello, baby!"
"I'm going to take my pants off... is that cool?"
"sure, get comfortable baby."
"By comfortable, do you mean naked, because I'm kinda shy right now and would like to get a semi-erection before I unleash my little sausage?"
"Well, you don't have to be shy with me."
"Well I am, so clearly you haven't made me feel at ease. Let me warm up to it."
"Well you gotta get naked sometime. I'm uncomfortable now that you are not getting undressed. What are you planning?"
"Ok, fine. Don't laugh."
[Man gets undressed... nobody can take their pants off gracefully without hopping around like an idiot....]
"Tell me what you like, baby."
"I like everything that normal guys like, you know, blowjobs and sex, and CIM, and such. Is it okay if you put your mouth around my penis? I would like you to do that right now..."
[...noises...]
"Hmmm. That feels good. Might I return the favor?"
"Yes, honey. That would be fine."
[...time passes...]
"Mylady, would it be okay if I put my penis in your vagina? I will first sheath it in a prophylactic, for your protection and mine own. Are you ready for sex?"
"Sure, baby, how do you want me?"
"Hmmm, how about doggy first, then after 3 minutes I will shift you to mish..."
"Sounds good, but don't you slap my ass, or play with by anus. It's exit only, and I don't like people going near it."
"Fair enough... and then after 4 minutes and 23 seconds of mish, I was thinking about standing missionary, after which time I will either ask you to finish me with your mouth, or perhaps lay down and let you ride me in various forms of cowgirl while I derive very little pleasure and watch you pretend to get off. Then, once my energy is back, and feeling that I've given you some opportunity for pleasure, I will ask to thrust my penis into your mouth like it is a vagina, until I (hopefully) come. Does all of this sound reasonable?"
"Hmm. Sure baby, but I don't like standing missionary. I'm sensitive about by weight. And, I don't want you to come in my mouth."
"Okay. So we'll skip standing mish, and the early finish and instead I will let you ride me until I become bored. Then I will jerk myself off onto your...?"
"Tits?"
"sigh... Sure, your tits, while we both feign enthusiasm."
"Or maybe you could come on my ass?"
"No. Tits are fine. Where's the condom?"
Now that, that sounds horrible.
PS: For the record, I've had a provider accidentally pee on me while I was going down on her (she said she lost control). It wasn't much, but... ack! pee all on my chin and my neck and my shirt. And people complain about smelling of smoke afterwards...
And, I've had a provider start her period while I was with her. Thankfully the blood was only on my hand, but who knows...
In neither case were these things "normal", or expected, or desired by me (or them). But I didn't give them the people's elbow or a bad review or any of that. I didn't even freak out. I was more concerned with placating their embarrassment. Stuff happens. Sex is inherently messy. Poor girl, indeed.
I did get tested after both encounters, primarily because of those concerns.
PPS:
I always tell a girl what I'm about to do, because I think it encourages dirty talk. So this has never happened to me. But I am sympathetic to the issue.
Holy shit, you got tested because of piss and because of blood on your hand??
Lmao
I had been going down the girl who bled on my hand. It's possible she had been bleeding the whole time, right? I mean, we aren't talking a river of blood here. It's not like I would notice, I only noticed afterward when I was using my hand on her.
With the other gal, it's possible some wee got in my mouth. You do realize that the female urethra is inside the vagina... so... again, while I was DATY, after she had come a few times, who knows...?
Piss and blood are bodily fluids. I guess that wasn't clear, but it was possible that I had been exposed via DATY in both instances.
But in general, I think it's a good idea to get tested. Chlamydia often has zero symptoms, and it makes women infertile. HIV isn't something you'll realize you have for years. You see enough providers, I'd think you'd want to get tested on a regular basis. I am amazed this isn't common practice with the married hobbyists. Just makes sense, especially if you've been with a lot of providers and if you don't want to infect anyone.
Getting blood on your hand is good to be cautious about, especially if you do anything rough with your hands in your day today life and might have cuts or scratches of any sort anywhere on your hand. Contacting blood on your hand could mean that some of it finds its way into your bloodstream. Could spread Hepititis or HIV if she had either. So definitely appropriate to get tested after that.
Piss is totally sterile. You can go to a sex club full of strangers and drink piss all night long and not have to worry about a thing. Unless someone has blood in their piss or something weird. I can see how you might not have researched that, especially if you got peed on by accident, but just for everyone's future reference- watersports is one of the safest activities you can do in terms of lowering risk of std transmission. Safer than regular uncovered oral sex, for sure.
Getting tested regularly is a great habit anyway tho!
it's called consent. ASK. an absence of a "no" does not mean "go ahead". Also, simply because a person consents to one act doesn't mean they consent to all of them. Consent can end at any time.
You asked her to suck you off, right? And she started right in? Wtf did she expect at the end, flowers?
I go on the assumption that unless stated, CIM is off the menu. Also, I find it easy to just state what my desires are e.g. "I want to cum in your mouth" or "I want to cum on your tits." It doesn't seem to dampen the heat of the moment.
Obviously reviews aid in helping me judge if a girl would be a fun date, but I still would not change my normal routine when it comes to rules, asking about them.
Part3 said asking about those kills the mood, I would disagree if it is done within the flow of things. I always like to ask as we are getting rolling toward physicality, never during initial conversation. I always mention that I am not into anything off the wall and that she doesn't have to go through the gambit of the different fetishes that she may have to with occasional guys, but I do then ask if there are any rules. After the reply, as long as it wasn't on the list, I say something like "I wouldn't want to try to kiss a girl who didn't want that - transitions as a good way to initiate that, at least it works for me.
It may be auckward for some but I think the idea of trying something a girl doesn't like, even by accident, and then getting an unpleasant or pissed response kills the mood more. I am one that wants to know and will ask if the rules are not given at the start.
Some girls change rules as they go, also others do things with some clients they might not do with others, assuming makes an ass, well you know the rest.
It is an interesting pregunta. As I recall, all of my life, each and every time I've engaged in sexual activity that's included switching from vagina to mouth I have always axed(lol) the recipient if'n cim was allowable. It may have been assumed on her part but I still always axed. In fact I probably would have just put my pito back where it was(in da puddy)instead of putting it somewhere it wasn't permitted an explosion con sin interrutpus
Do you want a girl sticking her tongue up yorn ass, and then kissing you, w/o axing you?
People just need to communicate. This isn't your first time with someone you're dating and might want to have a relationship with. It's one hour...so some things are going to need to be discussed rather than explored over a period of time.
Some ladies don't ask for references. So off the bat if you ask sexual questions they won't see you and i can't blame them. I did ask her to suck me off. I should have asked her if CIM was okay but i didn't and she didn't say i couldn't. Most of the time i just do it in the condom from having intercourse. This was a new lady. I did tell her i was sorry about it and she said it was okay and the she said the next time we get together i can CIM. I agree communication is the key. Looking back on it i think we said 10 words to each other before she started with a combo of hj and bbbj. She just wanted to get down to business. Overall she was pretty good and i would see her again.
Some ladies do change. A lady i have reviewed wouldn't allow CIM for the longest. Now she does it all the time.