I haven't been in this world long at all, but one thing I've found so far is some of the most honest relationships, of any kind, I've ever had.

I'm a bit confused by your post. It may just be my reading comprehension, or it may be you are not being quite 100% honest with yourself and us.  

At the beginning, it sounded like you ended a relationship with a provider because you realized that you had real, strong feelings cropping up in the P4P world. That would be very self-aware and wise of you to do, IMHO. Then, all of a sudden, there's this talk about tension between the two of you over OTC time, different ideas over compensation, and a session ending early. Which is it?

So she invited you in and shortly after asked you to leave, and you sound a bit upset, saying that's fine but just don't invite me in to start with? Maybe she sort of expected an "envelope" if you did come in? (Total speculation) IF IF IF that is why she had you leave, after you had offered to pay for her time earlier, then maybe you're right, maybe she was a bit disingenuous herself. Or maybe she was fine with the concert and wanted you to pay for alone time and expected to not have to ask for it. Lots of if's and maybe's here.

I feel like there's a lot more details to this story, and of course there's three sides or more to every story, but it almost sounds like she wanted to get "credit" for offering time OTC, but really wanted you to insist she take the cheddar. IF that is the case, it's just dumb. OTC time is a tricky thing, and she needs to make sure you both are on the same page.

When you say everything went to the shitter after you were honest and upfront with her, what exactly were you honest and upfront about? Your developing feelings for her, or your reaction to her cutting a session short and throwing you out after inviting you in?

It seems like you're asking a general question as whether it's good to be honest in this world? My very under-educated opinion is yes. Maybe we don't always have to be brutally blunt, but honest, yes. Isn't the whole point of all of this to avoid the strings and head games and BS that usually comes with relationships? Well, when either side isn't honest about the realities and expectations, to me, that's when everything goes to shit.

Your ATF sounds awesome. I totally get seeing others for variety, etc. but if you have someone like that, why are you apparently searching for more regulars?

Posted By: balljointnut

So I recently started seeing a new young lady who I will admit I was smitten by. Wow, exotic and sweet and a great kisser. We went to the Alice in Chains concert about a month ago OTC.  
   
 So realizing that I was developing feelings for her(bad, bad, bad) I choose to end the our time together. That is all on ME! I decided to explain myself to her and that is where it all went wrong.  
   
 Here are my questions....  
   
 As a whoremonger do you want the ladies you see to talk about the other men they fuck?  
 For me I am paying for a set amount of your time. That time should be all about me. I know  
 what you do but you don't need you to throw it in my face.  
   
 With my ATF I am always respectful of her time and sometimes our session run long(I tip appropriately) but even then she keeps me there showing me pictures of her puppy or talking about food(she is a big foody? spelling?) or just shooting the shit. Sometimes we end up throwing down again Too me that is true GFE. What say you? When we are 40min. into a session(new girl) and it is clear she is done with me that is just not cool. Of course I respect her boundaries but don't sell something your not going to deliver.  
   
 Again, with my ATF. Never once in 2 years has her phone rang or vibrated during our time together. Let alone her texting somebody during my paid time. Is it unprofessional to text other johns when you are with a john?  
   
 OTC!!! The concert. Had a great time. Spent $130 on dinner, paid for concert, paid for swag, blah, blah, blah. Nobody forced her to go with me but she tried to hold that over my head when I called her on ending our later session early. Telling me how she wasn't compensated for her time that night. The truth is I actually offered to pay her for her time. I had a pile of cash in my pocket that could have been hers but she turned it down which I thought was very sweet of her. That is just disingenuous. At the least I would have been happy to compensate her for BCD time the night of the concert. She invited me in and then shortly thereafter let me know it was late and she was tired and I should go. That is fine but don't invite me in.  
   
 As you all know I have know problem being blunt and I explained it to her like I see it. Her reply started with and I quote "You were starting to become one of my faves. So nice, clean, kind, respectful, honest, upfront." Then it all fell into the shitter because I was "honest" and "upfront" with her.  
   
 I eagerly await the input.  
   
   
   
   
   
 

No, good providers kill their phone or silence it.  I always make an announcement when I'm getting undressed, I say something like I'm going to turn my phone off so no one can disturb us and it doesn't annoy you. Most are smart enough to understand and say oh yeah good idea. . It kills my will when I hear beeps every minute from texts. Just rude.  

Most chicks are ready to boot you if you finish 40 mins into an hour. Most are nice about it but some would rather be alone than force interaction.  I laugh out loud when I hear guys say they sat there the extra 20 minutes chatting  to get their time in...I pay these girls to leave after, not stay.  

If you guys had a connection and went over on time enjoying each other's company, she showed you her puppy, etc that's cute and all...if you want to have a genuine interest and care to pretend to care about this stuff, get a civvie girl.  

OTC..she wanted a concert? You're nice enough and bought tix.  You wanted a hot girl on your arm? Maybe she was tired after and wanted to cut the sex short. Her excuse was she wasn't paid earlier. Sounds like she was just responding because she knew you wanted more time and were unhappy about it.  Sounds like your feelers got hurt. She's not your girl, she'd had it for the day, time to scoot.  Solution, civie girl, they like concerts too. too much thinking and drama in this situation on your part.  

I keep p4p simple. You pay to get with a beauty who otherwise probably wouldn't hang with you. You have sex, thank them and leave. Getting feelings is not smart, there's a never ending line of guys who will be dropping their donations on the dresser and leaving whether you think you're special to her or not. She'll have the puppy picture showing connection with several of them. 🐶🐶 you may think it was a really special, unique situation with her but you are one of thousands to her.  

She's a trick, you're a john. Act accordingly. You want conversation, debates and drama get a non paid girl. They thrive on that Shiite, which is why most of us have gravitated to this.

Do I want ladies to talk about other men they fuck?  Hell yes!!  Providers have pretty awesome stories to tell, and they don't get to share them with IRL friends or family usually.  So if they are willing to share those stories with me, YES I want to hear them.

It is also good for the soul, and the wallet.  There is nothing like hearing a hot young babe talk about a reclusive middle-aged lonely man that constantly sends her texts throughout the day to help you realize that you really, REALLY, do not want to be *that* guy.

As far as texting other Johns...fuck no, that can wait.  Though tbh I have yet to run across a provider that is soo high volume she feels the need to schedule her next appt before she is done with the current one.

There are many ways to tell the truth using words without sharp edges.
  Blunt is good being tactful is better, it will get you what you want but it leaves both parties happy.
As far as all the other stuff, you seemed to be honorable in your dealings with her.

Same Boat

Posted By: balljointnut

So I recently started seeing a new young lady who I will admit I was smitten by. Wow, exotic and sweet and a great kisser. We went to the Alice in Chains concert about a month ago OTC.  
   
 So realizing that I was developing feelings for her(bad, bad, bad) I choose to end the our time together. That is all on ME! I decided to explain myself to her and that is where it all went wrong.  
   
 Here are my questions....  
   
 As a whoremonger do you want the ladies you see to talk about the other men they fuck?  
 For me I am paying for a set amount of your time. That time should be all about me. I know  
 what you do but you don't need you to throw it in my face.  
   
 With my ATF I am always respectful of her time and sometimes our session run long(I tip appropriately) but even then she keeps me there showing me pictures of her puppy or talking about food(she is a big foody? spelling?) or just shooting the shit. Sometimes we end up throwing down again Too me that is true GFE. What say you? When we are 40min. into a session(new girl) and it is clear she is done with me that is just not cool. Of course I respect her boundaries but don't sell something your not going to deliver.  
   
 Again, with my ATF. Never once in 2 years has her phone rang or vibrated during our time together. Let alone her texting somebody during my paid time. Is it unprofessional to text other johns when you are with a john?  
   
 OTC!!! The concert. Had a great time. Spent $130 on dinner, paid for concert, paid for swag, blah, blah, blah. Nobody forced her to go with me but she tried to hold that over my head when I called her on ending our later session early. Telling me how she wasn't compensated for her time that night. The truth is I actually offered to pay her for her time. I had a pile of cash in my pocket that could have been hers but she turned it down which I thought was very sweet of her. That is just disingenuous. At the least I would have been happy to compensate her for BCD time the night of the concert. She invited me in and then shortly thereafter let me know it was late and she was tired and I should go. That is fine but don't invite me in.  
   
 As you all know I have know problem being blunt and I explained it to her like I see it. Her reply started with and I quote "You were starting to become one of my faves. So nice, clean, kind, respectful, honest, upfront." Then it all fell into the shitter because I was "honest" and "upfront" with her.  
   
 I eagerly await the input.  
   
   
   
   
   
 

She has brought up guys before. Once she brought up a guy that she was seeing in another state. He turned psycho and she ended. And the most recent time, she said that she left her ex and was texting him during our time.  

So here's my story. I was asked to pick her up at the airport. I said okay, I'll pay for out dinner and if we do anything, I would pay. So because I wanted to be a gentleman, I also got her a lil gift as a way to show that she is important to someone. So she was happy about it and we head to dinner, her choice. So while we were eating and having drinks, she was on her phone the entire time. At which time she told me it's her ex and she was basically saying "drop dead". So we eat and head back to her place. We watch a movie and she's just unwinding from her travels. So afterwards we do have some BCD activities buy it was very lackluster. Her head wasn't there and I felt it was a necessity for her to do it. I wanted to sat good night after the movie cause I knew she wasn't going to be up for it. So anyways, afterwards she told be she was tired and needed sleep. I left her the donation. So anyways I left and haven't seen her since. I'm upset that she was texting the entire time during dinner.  But like I said, I should've called it an early night but didn't. She took the whole donation and didn't take into account dinner or the gift. Which was fine by me.

I don't know if this helps or not. But this is what I'm going through. I know that feelings get hurt and we think we can't be. But it's okay, we're all human.

Come on really

To all my fellow pooners RULE number one if your paying for it still it's not a relationship I repeat NOT a relationship  
RULE number 2 see RULE number one  

Posted By: balljointnut

So I recently started seeing a new young lady who I will admit I was smitten by. Wow, exotic and sweet and a great kisser. We went to the Alice in Chains concert about a month ago OTC.  
   
 So realizing that I was developing feelings for her(bad, bad, bad) I choose to end the our time together. That is all on ME! I decided to explain myself to her and that is where it all went wrong.  
   
 Here are my questions....  
   
 As a whoremonger do you want the ladies you see to talk about the other men they fuck?  
 For me I am paying for a set amount of your time. That time should be all about me. I know  
 what you do but you don't need you to throw it in my face.  
   
 With my ATF I am always respectful of her time and sometimes our session run long(I tip appropriately) but even then she keeps me there showing me pictures of her puppy or talking about food(she is a big foody? spelling?) or just shooting the shit. Sometimes we end up throwing down again Too me that is true GFE. What say you? When we are 40min. into a session(new girl) and it is clear she is done with me that is just not cool. Of course I respect her boundaries but don't sell something your not going to deliver.  
   
 Again, with my ATF. Never once in 2 years has her phone rang or vibrated during our time together. Let alone her texting somebody during my paid time. Is it unprofessional to text other johns when you are with a john?  
   
 OTC!!! The concert. Had a great time. Spent $130 on dinner, paid for concert, paid for swag, blah, blah, blah. Nobody forced her to go with me but she tried to hold that over my head when I called her on ending our later session early. Telling me how she wasn't compensated for her time that night. The truth is I actually offered to pay her for her time. I had a pile of cash in my pocket that could have been hers but she turned it down which I thought was very sweet of her. That is just disingenuous. At the least I would have been happy to compensate her for BCD time the night of the concert. She invited me in and then shortly thereafter let me know it was late and she was tired and I should go. That is fine but don't invite me in.  
   
 As you all know I have know problem being blunt and I explained it to her like I see it. Her reply started with and I quote "You were starting to become one of my faves. So nice, clean, kind, respectful, honest, upfront." Then it all fell into the shitter because I was "honest" and "upfront" with her.  
   
 I eagerly await the input.