Transsexual
Dear Sancho...
...two of my favorite songs I found apropo in this instance... The Prince song from Purple Rain - always loved it and found it inspirational at times.... "Go Crazy"
And the song that Seal did a great cover of, a few years ago.... "un-less, you get a little crazy...."
I promised this man I would direct no spite or games at him.. so there was no vitriol directed out of meanness or spite... but I have expressed in detail my shock, dismay, hurt, some frustration, and the real concern of a fairly good repute being damaged in any way, when I have given so long and so much of my genuine & generally only very kindhearted self into this ?
...as a lifetime commitment that has been incredible fun, exploration, challenge, adventure, growth, and sometimes painful but nonetheless positive learning, of the last decade plus... Frustrated and deeply disturbed about letting that stand on my name any longer? Yes. Very much so.
Everyone ultimately has differing perceptions of the same things. Two people look at the same photo and see completely different things. This is why I have never had a "script" when it comes to erotic arts... Everyone I have ever seen is different in every way from another, and that has to be taken seriously in order to learn how to really connect with each person in the most individual and sometimes awesomely special of shared ways.... everyone, like our fingerprints, are uniquely different no matter how much some may wish to group themselves as the same in some ways...
No two people on the entire planet have the *exact* same catalogue of desires, turn-ons or turn-offs, or pace of doing things, or same mental emotional & erotic timing, or identically perfect tastes for the exact same things in general... To say such a thing would be ridiculous to me.....
...and to treat others like no more than a production line, a cookie cutter form, when talking about what is for many, the very most intimate and often deeply personal (yes of course there is straightforward searing animalism as well) of all possible arts that a woman can undertake to excel at... not my bag.... yes - I have a "Theme" as indicated rather sarcastically in the review... it's called truly old fashioned politeness. Loving kindness. Good manners. True Respectfulness towards all others. Deep Hospitality. Genuine Warmth. True Love of my art.
My "Theme" as rudely mocked by the reviewer, is Inspiration by other cultures and my own heart and mind.... Instead of what is most often rude, coldly transactional, fake passions, clockwatching, fake photos, rushed, ripoffs, etc etc etc etc that largely dominates most of Western escort culture here today.... and I say that, based on every bit of feedback from at least 8 out of 10 of my special friends (I never use the word "client"), in more than 10 years (a quarter of my adult life) of commitment to what can often be the most controversial and difficult of arts for many women of all kinds, whether TS or GG or otherwise...
we are too varied and complex for that, and I believe that people here tend to forget that...sometimes it just stays with only black and white of this good or that fake or that BJ or This DT or whatever terminology one uses... and less and less in-between, or variances to accommodate for individual differences of tastes and perceptions and perspectives...
If I am guilty of being crazy, it would be for one thing... Crazy passionate about being forthright, kind, respectful, accurate, forthright, tasteful, passionate, real, open, warm, polite.
There are three things in this world that a person should not EVER play games with towards another person, no matter what.
You don't ever play games with a person's family, their home, or their money. NOT EVER. In this case, two out of the three were compromised to a certain extent, and I have lost sleep over this "game" that someone just casually and cavalierly decided to play with my life and my repute.
Shall I Stand down? Edit the reality of what to me is a very serious thing? Sit back and just take it like a good little girl? Not take the risks to get a little crazy to defend myself and my own honor?
Now *That's* crazy.
LoveRespectAlways, Sancho...
You've long posted cool and funny stuff here, and you know I like you.
Best always,
TheAngelaGirl
-- Modified on 7/8/2015 2:12:27 PM
Til we next (and do sincerely I hope we meet under the most pleasant and "sunny" of circumstances at some point in time
Most kindly, always
no... it does not hurt me at all, of the possible rejection of "romance".... which is a term I have very, very, rarely ever used in context of my arts... it was more of what I wrote to Sancho about games and cavalier appearances of saying one thing, and then doing another, while apparently blithely (or coldly) unthinking of the effects that such things may actually have on another person's real life...
to call my relationship to being a truly loving, warm, polite, old fashioned, "romantically-minded" kind of woman a "schtick" is so far from the truth of what motivates me and who I am and what I strive for, that I am surprised you used that particular term. "Schtick" is a word one uses to describe a huckster or snake oil seller of often questionable wares, or even if not questionable, there is an element of showmanship and overt carnival-like overtones in the way that person "peddles their goods" so to speak.
There is an extreme difference between possessing true kindness, genuine warmth, deeply believing in elegant and true old-world kinds of hospitality, sharing genuine and fiery passions, and someone who just tries to act the part of such things. One is insincere. The other is possessed of that as natural character traits.
One is an act or a display of either something they are not, or are trying too hard to be so it comes across ultimately like a "schtick" as you put it, and the other actually is simply being who and what they really are, as opposed to needing to act that way just for appearances sake or to "make the sale".
Not everyone is a fake or phony. The reason that I (and most TS's have transitioned) is because I could no longer bear the weight of trying to be all the things I really wasn't. As a woman *and* a passionately committed erotic companion, I now can be *all* the things I really am, always was, and have always wished to be (open, fearlessly) and express my intimacy and passions and erotic nature the very most - without fear, without reserve, without needing a "schtick" anymore, so to speak.
I like you, but I found that mis-perceptive and somewhat insulting, love.
Til we next (and do sincerely I hope we meet under the most pleasant and "sunny" of circumstances at some point in time
Most kindly, always
AngelaGirl
and.... In credit where at least some is due, I asked to have it altered or removed, and he gave it an honest shot...
But that still did little to take the sting out of it all...The forum would not allow it, and ultimately I stopped trying unless I wished to be "delisted" at worst case scenario. In our very last follow-up email he said "you just can't expect to click with everyone you meet"... and in this, I would agree... but I have had the amazing pleasure of that actually being true of most people that I have ever had the pleasure to spend time intimately connecting with.
But - I am not so obtuse or blithely entitled of mindset, that I am foolish enough to expect that 100% either.
I give true kindness and generosity, especially so in all deeply intimate explorations with others, and can only hope to expect the same in return... but I am well aware this does not always happen for many of us on both sides of the coin, so to speak...
I am a mature woman that has accomplished with only my natural features and my own mind and training, what many will give tens of thousands for, and I am not a 20-something supermodel that just walked out onto the photo stage.... but I am goodhearted, and real, and true to life, and true to my passions, and my own deeply held convictions about how to treat others.
For yours, and HappyRoberts', and others' simple kindnesses on this day,
Namaste' to the fullest,
Be good to yourself and to others, we never know when we may need a kindness equally in return sometime.
LoveRespectAlways,
AngelaGirl
absolutely agreed 1000%, and... in the process of doing so, love...
Love it, Le Mat 
Part of being a provider is: Read what is it that your client is looking for, and give him just that . No more, no less. If one's not very good at reading one's clientele... ask them. but like Jasmine says in her post. Use that review as constructive criticism. I personally am bias now with the whole review system (I know, Im saying this as a provider who would benefit from reviews). We tend to ask only people who we have a great (or decent) time with. I would be a liar if I said I didnt have sessions going awry in the past. It happens to all of us. Sometimes I look at my own reviews and I feel its inaccurate because I know I have had sessions where I didn't have fun, or where things just didn't function well down there. because the chemistry wasn't there.
and as I look to share only the very best and have always tried to do *exactly* what you say in the first part of your post... "Read what is it that your client is looking for, and give him just that " I fully agree with that point 1000%
You know I adore you...absolutely and unquestionably... we became friends... and to be fair to both of us, I must draw the line at presumptions about certain things that even I could not guess or clearly was unsure, of baffled, or disturbed by, in the time this gentleman and I spent together and how vastly different our views of the time together was that we spent....
Sasha and others stating (yes, and 8 is not bad) are correct in that respect... me feeling underrated in both appearance and in general demeanor of what I felt was a partially complaining, unnecessarily sarcastic, and therefore frankly rather cruel and unexpected way to characterize me after the time we spent - and my reactions to that since then... are as much on my head and heart as anything else...
as said yesterday in my post to Sancho (and other parts of this thread...) I am not so obtusely insulated in my own thinking or values that I would expect everyone to be the same, see things the same, or have the same identical tastes or ways of doing things or what they are looking for.... clearly this was the case, it's just the manner in which it A.) caught me completely off guard and B.) the way it was expressed after personally showing me what I perceived to be real kindness, enjoyment, and satisfaction - that I felt was cavalier, and even dishonorable to me.... as well as having what I felt to be a real effect on some aspects of my business in the weeks following it's publication.... read what I wrote to Sancho earlier and that really puts it into perspective of how it hit me and why I responded in this manner....
but still a fellow human being, and eventually, acceptance must rule the day, and better to move onward and focus on the good potentials in life and in my own relation to my erotic arts....
I had lost sleep, felt betrayed, felt dishonored and disrespected, seen my numbers go down, seen any inquiries that mention TER drop off the map for several weeks, felt I could no longer comfortably write "and please see my reviews online" in my ad postings and have honor and comfort in that for the first time for a long time because I took no pride, and would not wish that to be the first review someone sees, when doing their proper diligence before seeking to see me.... I lost at least a handful of appointments that I am pretty certain of, as a result of that mediocre, droning, half sarcastic, and appearance fair rated review.
I sat back and read and re read it... as I said to him in one of my mails - if I was a seeker, this is exactly the kind of review that would make me *not* be so enthusiastic about seeing that girl, and much more likely to turn people away from me, which then translates to a very real affect on my life and my practice.
But this is what fate threw down on my plate like a pile of lemons whether I liked it or not.... finally doing what I felt was a huge risk in openly defending myself and questioning the motivations of the gentleman was what I personally needed to do to alleviate the pressure inside and begin to truly move onward from that.
...bottom line - is if I didn't care so much about what I do, how I do it, and how that ultimately may affect my life and my business and my practices and the long term view of what mark I leave in this art before I leave it (sooner than later - will likely be retiring within the next year or so), I wouldn't take the time and effort and risk of backlash and other potential consequences to be as real, honest, and open as I am in general about this...
all I can say is I adore you, MilanoLuv, and now enough has been said without a visible defense from the person in question, that further unsupported conjecture may now cause more harm than good.....
LoveRespectAlways,
You know that's true,
Hugz! (and much, much, more)
AngelaGirl
...and yes... I am, I do, and I will, always
I've got to ask though, because you come off as a little looney on here, are you on meds or some shit? Because you are way out there dude. I also notice you like to make shit up.
But hey...that's none of my business....just stating the facts.
If the topic at hand was exhausted, this now running diatribe of verbal abuse is now running way off track of the original topic. Gentleman - clearly you have differences of opinion here. Mellow - I have never met you and cannot judge you.
Milano - you know I adore and respect you, and you are demeaning yourself by lowering to vulgarity and cursing and name-calling. You are bigger, better, smarter, and much more cultured than that. Show them this is true as I already know it for myself.
Both of you should take it offline to PM and continue the more personal side of the debate there. You boys seem to have a destructively magnetic (negative) opposite attraction to one another.