but breaking the rules of a board, when the rules are plainly posted, really shouldn't be that hard to enforce
I would like to further suggest that if such a board is created, whining on the other boards should become a capital offense, and the PC Police should be tarred, feathered, and banished to whatever we decide to call this new board.
You whiners have the entire internet to moan, groan, and whine about how mean the world is to you, all the rest of us want is ONE fucking place where we can talk without worrying about the PC Police trying to muzzle us. I vote to give you whiners a place to have your little church social, and then you can leave the rest of us the fuck alone. Deal????
Can we have a moderated general discussion board that is not limited to "hobby-related" subjects wherein civilized interaction is encouraged? We could call it "Civilized Intercourse".
I think of a lot of topics I'd love to post about that are only remotely related to this. But I think it would be fun to get to know others here in different ways than what is permitted on the GD board. Maybe a place where more of the ladies would feel more inclined to post. I understand that many of the GD board posters hate this type of thing there, so why not make a place where those of us who wish to have pleasant discourse about random topics can go? That way we don't bother the GD posters.
I'm over on the Erotic highway, I know's it's Fisher's sand box but he likes piss.
...ah fuck him, let him sue me.
But fear the result might be like having a string quartet play Bach outside of a rock concert.
Maybe there is just something about sex that will forever be uncivilized.
And maybe that's not such a bad thing, necessarily.
Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's....
A lot of boards here are like that, yet they stumble along just fine. There are plenty of boards where the animosity is absent, but the subject matter is rather limited, as are the participants. I think if we could create the board I envision, there would be plenty willing to participate. I see so many ladies- brilliant, funny, fascinating ladies- posting in the PO board who would no more wish to post or read the GD board than they'd wish to poke themselves in the eye with a stick. I'm sure those ladies would be happy to post on a nicer, gentler, more topically diverse board.
I would love it. On the Chicago board when I try to lighten to mood and they are cranky they rip me a new one... I still get my usual PM's who love what I have to say (in jest) or fun but I would love a board like this. I think this is a great idea.
Love
Zana
But only if TER ran it as a moderated board, kind of the reverse of P&R. But every post would have to be read and approved by a mod to keep it "nice." That would be a lot of work/expense for TER so I doubt they'd do it.
TER could simple create a "non hobby general board" or something to that effect with posting rules something along the lines of the Newbie board, but more strictly enforced.
It would not be necessary for a mod to read and approve every post, but simply to read the posts every 30 minutes or so and trim those that aren't civil.
Actually that's how the newbie board used to be run, and in the 2+ years that I moderated that board I don't recall a single train wreck thread, the moment a thread started to go down that road, I simply pulled the offending post with a warning that the next one would result in getting moderated. Every one knew that you didn't start shit on the Newbie board, so nobody did. A "friendly" off topic board could work here as well, although it sounds a bit boring to me. lol
And I think it would be a refreshing change. Something more topically diverse, and with fewer trolls.
Tho I wouldn't want TER to have even more work just for that....so there's the conundrum,
I have made up my mind,that I, simply can, not, post anything on my local board.
I have one guy who seems to watch for any
topic I might start and jumps on my case & unfortunately there's more then a handful that join in.
Now I actually felt the need to test my opinions & topics to see if they really are that annoying under my alias and I was happy to see I didn't catch any slack- as was out from under his scrutiny....
So...would I like to post again with my own thoughts & opinions w/o having to worry about conflict??
Yes....I would absolutely love to!
Also I'm sure there may be others out there in the same boat as me.
Even if a board like this doesn't open up thanks for starting the discussion.
smile big! smile often,
~M
Just don't read his posts, or even put him on "ignore" so you don't see them. Everyone has a equal right to post, and if you let someone intimidate you to the point where you choose not to post then that's on you. You've let him win.
... report that user to TER. Granted, TER may not do anything, but TER may put that user on moderation and this harasser will probably have 2nd thoughts about posting against you.
If you read the General Discussion forum, I've had a number of people jump on my case for no good reason. They *think* they have a good reason, but in reality, they don't. I have chosen to ignore their immature postings. I don't even bother to respond to them.
The Forest Waits
I have made up my mind,that I, simply can, not, post anything on my local board.
I have one guy who seems to watch for any
topic I might start and jumps on my case & unfortunately there's more then a handful that join in.
Now I actually felt the need to test my opinions & topics to see if they really are that annoying under my alias and I was happy to see I didn't catch any slack- as was out from under his scrutiny....
So...would I like to post again with my own thoughts & opinions w/o having to worry about conflict??
Yes....I would absolutely love to!
Also I'm sure there may be others out there in the same boat as me.
Even if a board like this doesn't open up thanks for starting the discussion.
smile big! smile often,
~M
"Make Love Not War" became an international quote for a very good reason. And it is one of those timeless quotes, that generations can use as a way to live a peaceful existence. Thanks Sara for putting out this idea.
Thanks, Cameo! I just think we could have a lot more fun flirting and chatting with less animosity.
Like I said before .. I think it is a great idea. 
I will look into it with you. If you need anything from me let me know.
Love
Zana
quoting from the Beatles song 'All You Need Is Love'
All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need
The Forest Waits
Or are you complaining that the PO board is uncivilized?
If you want to talk about flower gardens, shoes, razors, wigs, wrinkle creams and other irrelevant topics, why don't you start your own blog and people who care about such nonsense can read it. TER shouldn't be littered any more then it already is.
It were limited to persons who earned admission to by showing that they could not only refrain from insults and harassing posts, and that they had something of interest to discuss--maybe a short list of initial topics they'd want to discuss, and the mods and members of the board should select those who could be vouched for.
Or, probably just as easily, a site could be established on another forum that allowed for normal discussion with the same etiquette norms that we all seem happy to accept when we go to a coffeehouse or cafe IRL
The Newbie board operates pretty well. It would be run similarly!
I so love love this idea for TER. I know others have created their own discussion boards (the private, invite-only ones or the ones that were rather UTR) with great fervor to create a space like this, only to have those boards fizzle over the years.
Reality is, TER is the number one site for reviews and discussions, even if some people have a love/hate relationship with it. I do think creating a board like this would do great. I have patrons who would love to discuss more here if they felt more welcome around here.
Funny (or sad?) because as of now, the last response to this thread is titled, "Don't they have a PO board for that" and is rather mean spirited. This is exactly what I'd like to NOT see on a board with better energy.
Keep us posted!
You said yourself that these polite discussion boards tend to fizzle out over the years. Could it be that the hostility is what fuels discussion boards so they do not fizzle out? By hostility I mean heated discussions and arguments. Would love to have a civilized intercourse with you about it. Damn, but civilized intercourse is kind of a hot term. I like it!
Reality is, TER is the number one site for reviews and discussions, even if some people have a love/hate relationship with it. I do think creating a board like this would do great. I have patrons who would love to discuss more here if they felt more welcome around here.
Funny (or sad?) because as of now, the last response to this thread is titled, "Don't they have a PO board for that" and is rather mean spirited. This is exactly what I'd like to NOT see on a board with better energy.
Keep us posted!
I think they fizzle out because they are not as big as TER. I think such a board on TER would be sustainable as there would be plenty of people willing to participate here. It's no use participating on a board with only a couple hundred members.
I can appreciate the point you are trying to make, but I do not converse with a couple hundred people in a week in the real world, yet I have been in discussions with coworkers and/or friends for hours, including heated debates about a variety of subjects. Been doing that with the same groups of people for so many years that I've lost count. How would you explain that? Could it be that having familiarity with those in the discussion group be the determining factor of keeping things from fizzling out?
Perhaps that is the dynamic that creates cohesion in your workplace conversational engagement, and that's typical for a small group. But here, you have men and women who come here to meet each other. The men come for reviews and to research possible company. Women come here to advertise and to research and attract possible company. When there are only 200 or so members of a board, say a quarter to 35% women, the pool for both parties is pretty small. For women it's typically not worth our time to be on such a board as we will reach such a small audience. A place like TER has a much bigger available audience. More women would participate and hence more men would. Thousands of members vs hundreds- that's what would keep it going. There will inevitably be a comparatively small group of regular posters, which would equate to your workplace environment and dynamic, but there would be more women participating because they wouldn't be so turned off by some of the more... crass... attitudes we see on the GD. Likewise, our lurkers might also be encouraged to participate.
Well, you seem to have more knowledge about it than me, so I will end the discussion by saying thank you for your thoughts.
If my suggesting that your "girly" blather belongs on the PO board is mean spirited, then you need to figure out where you are and what you do. This is a fuck board, not the perfume of the day board. You are a hooker, not Mary Poppins.
And why do those other boards fizzle over the years? Because even other providers get tired of reading each others nonsense after a while.
You have patrons that don't feel welcome here and if other topics are discussed they will feel welcome? That's good for a laugh.
OMG are you telling me you believe in Mary Poppins? lmfao
At least use a non fictional person if you're going to try and throw insults around 
if TER does decide to create a forum following SoftlySarah's suggestion, which I would like to see happen.
YOU DO NOT NEED TO VISIT THAT FORUM!
If you don't like the way things are being suggested in the Suggestion and Policy forum, you are most welcome to frequent the General Discussion forum where you fit in quite well.
The Forest Waits
And why do those other boards fizzle over the years? Because even other providers get tired of reading each others nonsense after a while.
You have patrons that don't feel welcome here and if other topics are discussed they will feel welcome? That's good for a laugh.
It would be good for everyone- the people who don't want to read our chit chat don't have to deal with it on the GD, but those who like a more civilized online dialogue have a place to come and play. I also think we'd get more posters in general. It would be fun!! I know a LOT of people who might participate in such a place but would never post on GD. The hard-core "toughen up!" guys can stay at GD, and those of us who actually enjoy conversation that goes beyond big tits, small penises, and "man-hater" and "woman-hater" conversations can enjoy ourselves where we don't have to be read. As it stands now, for any real conversation beyond ISOs (which is mostly what my local board is) have to be on the GD board. I just think a little variety would be nice and welcomed by many.
As others have mentioned, this should be fairly easy to do. The Newbie board provides a model for how to run a TER board without the personal attacks so common on the GD board.
To keep up.
It's been asked by many many people, and I think it would be highly used. Now if TER needs a ton of moderators to manage such a difficult concept for people here to understand, then those asking and advocating should be able to put in some of their time moderating.
Every post should be moderated on that board until people get the hang of being nice.
I'd put in a couple hours per week to see it happen.
I would too, of course. But as the Newbie board is pretty civil, I don't think we'd be needed.
I don't think they have any plans to reinstate moderators. All moderation is done by admin.
... we will call it... The Non-Denominational Board
The following denominations will not be permitted to post:
Pro-Haters of the Forum
Women Are NOT Equal With Men Clique
Forum Trainwreckers Association
Slow News Day Whiners Association
Douchbags of America
Stalkers of TER
Cyberbullies of America
The Forest Waits
Ok, since you are a member of that group, I'll add that group to be disallowed in the forum.
The Forest Waits
And lest anyone forget, TSTTTT is an actual outed and known, real-world stalker.
There you have a board that doesn't have any train wrecks. Unless you think that you have exhausted marketing yourself over there, you already have what you are looking for there and with the PO board.
TER has already bent over backwards for providers to make the site more provider centric. The bottom line is that you are looking for more free advertising and not making due with what you have.
I had a moderator for this board state that I was a trouble maker/rude/slanderous on this board for making a post poking fun at myself (yes at myself). I have no idea if it is a warning or what, since admin. states they have no notes on it. Just a heads up for you if you wish to heed it. I am pretty much done with making posts here, as my self deprecating humor is apparently offense to others. I like my sense of humor, so I will take it elsewhere.
I have found it's a day to day, or more accurately a post to post scenario of what is and is not allowed to stand.
I have had posts that I knew were "on the edge" be approved even while moderated, and then I have had posts like yours that could not possibly have been offensive to anybody yanked for being "negative" or the like. I have chalked it up to perhaps whoever is approving the posts not being 100% up on American nuance where it comes to the English language as the "moderators" are no longer US based.
It also appears that threads with certain members posting in them tend to have more "tree trimming" than others. The threads with BP, BSC Taylor (and her many alter egos) and those involving the turdster seem to be the least likely to stay up any more than a few hours. I routinely wake up the next day to find half my posts gone, not because of anything that I have said, but because the underlying threads had been removed. This seems to happen more days than not.
It's doing just fine, but thank you for your concern for us oldsters. It is a "special interest" discussion with a limited demographic, thus it's understandable that the frequency of posts will be much lower than the GD discussion. Or do you assign value to a board only by the volume of posts?
But it's true that the over-60 board doesn't have any "train wrecks". Nor does the Newbie board (and any attempted train wrecks there are promptly derailed by the moderator(s).) Thus we have at least two examples that prove that a more civil general discussion board is possible.
I sense from your posts in this thread that you don't understand that the proposed board is NOT just for providers, although it was suggested by a provider and many providers may prefer it to the GD discussion. I expect there are many hobbyists who will participate in such a board, if it's created. I know I will.
If it's not your cup of tea... well, there are many other boards to choose from.
one thing:
TER Admin is completely inconsistent in enforcing its own rules.
i am civil and i love intercourse..balls deep if possible..
but I'd take it farther.
The GD is: "...a moderated forum dedicated to discussing the hobby, erotica, and sex related subjects. Please note, flames and posts outside of the forum topics will be removed."
For those who argue that TER is littered with "dead boards", I'd argue that hobby, erotica and sex-related Humor is well within the scope and purpose of the GD board as currently defined. Why a separate Erotic Humor "dead board"? The same applies to Erotic Literature and Erotic Highway. All "dead boards" with few posts, and well within the defined scope of the GD board. I say consolidate them into one.
As for the issue of "civilized discourse", it is addressed in the definition of the GD board "Flames and posts outside of forum topics will be removed". IMHO, this is the process that does not work. If flames were removed, the degree of civility would rise dramatically. If moderation worked on the GD, train wrecks could be curtailed.
As Panthera has pointed out, the guys and gals both already have a "locker room" to talk trash in... the PO and RO boards.
I propose a broader topical acceptance on the GD board, with increased moderation of flames and posts (not just threads) outside of the forum (thread) topics. Broaden the discussion and keep it on point.
It would be simpler and less expensive to increase moderation on the GD than to add an additional moderated board, and consolidation of several boards that arguably fall within the scope of the GD board as currently defined could curtail proliferation of additional "dead boards".
Alternatively, everyone who supports a "civilized discourse" board could make greater use of the RAP button for posts that are merely flames and personal attacks, and those which have no relevance to the board or thread topics. The board could easily be more self-policing as to the civility of it's discourse.
I see your point, MZ, but I am not looking to take over and change anyone's sandbox. It's already a well-established community with regular avid posters and its very own atmosphere. I don't want to disrupt that- it has its uses- trust me. Plus, moderating the GD board would be a full-time job.
I just think I'd prefer another sandbox where those who prefer a different way of interacting with each other can go. Why not just establish that new sandbox with new rules from the get-go? Enforce them regularly at the beginning until its atmosphere has been established. That way we don't end up throwing sand at each other.
Oh! And it's "Civilized Intercourse". Not "Discourse". lol!
-- Modified on 7/21/2014 7:38:57 PM
sign me up as a mod. I can find some time for that.
However, I will suggest some hope that "civilized discourse" could in turn lead to some pretty "uncivilized intercourse"...
And some were entertaining...you just HAD to keep reading. But some were just outright vile but I'd say most of the train wrecks were for entertainments purposes and I *suspect* back then TER kinda encouraged it to a point to keep readership up.
Just how I see it!
Steph xoxo
the other threads- at least on the first page here. :
Mostly the S&P board does not get a lot of reads or long threads, but admin does read this board.
likelihood of this? Admin?
(Expecting admin to answer you on this thread)
Admin does pop up occasionally and reply to a thread here, and even more rarely they actually take a suggestion and make it happen quickly, but both are very rare. They do read this board. They do take the suggestions (and replies) into account, and they occasionally do make something happen because of a suggestion here, but when it does happen it is usually not immediately after the suggestion and usually done with no announcement or fan fare. A new board suddenly appears. A change in policy suddenly happens.